The Wounded Healer
by Anotherscribe
Summary: Hydra had bigger secrets than the Winter Soldier. When one of Hydra's best kept secret, a beaten teenage girl, breaks out, Tony's takes her in, without any of the Avengers knowing. Can he trust her while keeping her safe? And why can only he decide what happens to her? Warning: mentioned child abuse, torture, of a very precocious minor and swearing. A small handful of OCs.
1. Chapter 1

**Guess who's back?** **Sorry to all those who've been waiting for updates, life got in the way. But I'm back now. This story is an AU of Steel Meets Iron, with my OC much older and in Hydra. It's a different story with a different Raven. So it's not a proper AU in my opinion since you get two totally different stories, with two different Ravens. I just really wanted to write about Raven some more, because I've grown to love her so much.**

 **As always, let me know what you think, and I'll update if you like it.**

* * *

 _ **Chapter 1**_

There was never a time Raven wasn't used to the taste of blood in her mouth. Although this time it felt different, thicker and suffocating. It bellied in her mouth making it hard to breathe. She turned herself on her side, letting the blood pour out of her mouth. As she caught her breath her mind took notes of her surroundings, the blow had made her fuzzy for a moment. She smelt smoke in the distance and faintly saw flames stretching from the visible shambles. Did I do that? She thought groggily.

Despite the lack of a base, sirens were screaming from somewhere. She heard it before, something other than her _little_ tantrum was going on. If only she could get up and see what it was, if it might hurt her. But her body wouldn't move, it was heavy and aching everywhere. Breathing alone stung her lungs and strangled her chest. The sensation of pain crossed out the thought of paralysis, which was the best news right now. The last thing she remembered was jumping off a ledge of some sort. And as much as she wanted to lie down until she was stronger, she had to move. Anywhere within earshot of the sirens meant danger.

Raven fought to roll from her side to settle herself to her stomach. On her stomach she could at least begin crawling, it was a start. She could hide and plan her next move – A bolt of pain shot up from her leg when she turned over. Making her flip off her stomach, to her opposite side. Raven looked down to see her right leg was bleeding from somewhere. Her pant leg was soaked in blood around the shin area. She felt the pain down to her toes yet attempting to wiggle her toes wrought more agony, causing her to softly cry out. I broke my leg, she thought gasping, I broke it when I fell. Running was out of the question now, not with a broken leg. She couldn't tell the extent of the damage, but she knew it was bad. Resting on her forearms she wracked her brain for solutions.

Although her leg was messed – it didn't mean her entire plan was scrapped. With all this debris around her, she should be able to make a splint, and there was her duffel bag. She had it slung over her shoulder when she jumped, but now it was gone. She remembered holding it tight until she lost consciousness, so it had to be around here somewhere. It protected her upper body to a degree, which probably resulted in her leg taking the brunt of the damage. But how bad was it? Fueled by a vague kindling of adrenaline she reached down and ripped the bloody patch open, and cursed heavily at her luck. Other than the obvious swelling of a fracture, bone had cut through her shin. Just looking at it made her sick and twice as weak.

"An open fracture," she hissed. "Great, just great."

Sitting up she turned her head left to right, she pushed herself up on her palms. Looking around for her black duffel bag. With her legs splayed out like scissors, and not stacked on top of each other, made the pain easier to bare. Sitting still was not an option to settle with, she had to get her duffel bag and think of a plan to survive. It took several aching twists but among the rubble she saw it. A few meters from her, heading away from the destruction was her duffel with its Super Mario mushroom keychain. The sight of her vibrant keychain made her smile, filling her with a burst of optimistic energy.

Digging her nails into the dirt she dragged her battered body along the ground. Letting the left side of her body take the pain; her leg, hip and waist. With each tug she made sure not to jerk her leg unnecessarily. Pulling it alone made her bite into her bottom lip as shudders of pains traveling through her body. Keeping her neck stretched upward she focused on her prize. It had in everything; her medicine, her memories and stuff Hydra would destroy hundreds of lives for. Her survival depended on that bag. With it she would always have the upper hand on Hydra, be one step ahead. Which was more than crucial now, after how stupid she'd been. There was nothing life could throw at her, her bag of tricks didn't have a solution. Without she was helpless and at the mercy of those stronger than her. And her hand was a hair above it when her prediction came true.

"Easy." A voice ordered. "Easy, kid. No one's gonna hurt you if you play nice."

Haven't I been through enough? Lowering her hand to the ground, she turned toward her voice. She knew him but like most of the world he had no clue about her. A part of her wanted to laugh at her equal luck and misfortune. The stern faced man aimed an arrow at her, not at her head, which was very gentlemanly of him. She saw him on tv and security monitors, knew him through author-like notes. If she had her bag she might have had a fighting chance – oh, and if her leg was broken. But for once in her life, Raven felt too tired to fight back. If this man killed her, by accident or shortcomings, she'd gladly rest in peace. Yet a part of her – eternally curious – wondered what could happen next if he helped her.

Hawkeye/Clint Barton, part-time Avenger and Shield Agent, kept his eyes fixated on her while he whispered to into an ear piece. Were the other Avengers here too? As he made reports Raven listened for any of their telltale sound effects. Whooshing, metal whistling, pew pews, roars and so on, but their was only shouting and gunfire. So it was just Shield. Just as bad, she thought as she coughed up spatters of blood.

"She's hurt," she heard him say. "... Pretty bad. Burn on her right shoulder, bleeding from the right leg – I think it's broken, coughing up blood, face messed up to hell."

A burn? When did I - "Ah," she murmured. Her eye lazily spotted a nasty burn on her shoulder. The right side of her body was just not having a good day today. The burn was nothing life threatening, a second degree burn. Now looking at it she keyed on the specific pain coming from it. When the hell did I get that? Her short term memory was missing parts. I hit my head, she realized. Not good.

"Hang on a sec – You don't feel that?" He demanded incredulously.

"I don't remember it," she wheezed. "Everywhere hurts."

Hawkeye blinked at her, believing her and put away his arrow. Wary as though approaching a wounded tiger he knelt to get closer to her eye level. "What happened here?"

It would be very easy to lie but Raven knew the truth would catch up to her faster than she could heal. So she settled for the truth, suppressing the urge to smile. "I did."

"What?" He gaped. "Say that again."

Taking an agonizing breath she repeated herself. "I did." It hard to speak, her voice sounded strange and grated to her ears.

He gestured to the disaster around them. "All of this? You did that." She nodded. "Why? What did Hydra do to you?"

Raven had to smile now. She genuinely saw her reason as comedy gold. "They refused to accept my resignation."

That he heard quite clear. "Natasha?... I need you come over here and bring a medic."

The kid was in worse shape than he thought. The words battered and bruised were understatements. The medics said she should have lost consciousness on the flight to New York but for over eight hours she was fully awake. Right shoulder burnt, right shin broken with bone projecting out her skin and a black and blue face. Even Natasha found it strange how she stared blankly at the roof of the jet. Only moving her eyes at sudden movements like a reptile in a terrarium. She drummed her fingers against the gurney they strapped her into, but not in boredom. She tapped out every notable broadway number and a few tunes he didn't know. Some of the guys were trying to guess them without asking her. Other than that no one felt like talking to the kid who confessed to blowing up a Hydra base. Along with all the jets, weapons and invaluable computers.

"Is she... like you? A super spy?" He asked her once the medics took her to the sick bay.

They didn't take her to the Avengers Base. No one knew what to do with her yet. If she was some lunatic, ready to kill everyone in sight. Or some trojan horse waiting to get into their main base. The only option they had was to take to one of Fury's secret bunkers nearby. Several agents who got off at the main base were ordered to keep quiet. Fury's little cubbyhole was the only thing they had to place enhanced people. If this girl was enhanced was not, was yet to be said. If this was an elaborate, desperate ruse of Hydra's, they wanted her far away from the main base as they could take her. There had been no children spies for decades. If she was a part of that retired regime, what was worse than an enhanced, unstable teenager.

"I don't know. What she did, doesn't had up to a spy. Blowing up a base, wounding hundreds, killing ten people. That we know of. Sounds more like the work of a crazed enhanced person. But she's entirely calm, not a flutter in her pulse." Natasha folded her arms. "She's either a sociopath or someone who's been through hell."

"I don't like either of those options – Aw hell."

"What?"

Natasha turned toward Clint. With Ultron fresh in their minds it was hard to take anything as routine strangeness. They saw too many inexplicable things since they became Avengers. To think it was happening all over again in the form of a teenage girl had Natasha on high alert. Hearing Clint exclaim in mid-sentence made her think he knew something about this girl that abruptly clicked from something she said.

"Did you catch her name?" He snapped his fingers in frustration. "We should have asked her name. It's going to make talking to her really awkward."

The girl wasn't much, as a physical threat. She was a scrawny thing, bent and broken from her beating or the lack of weight around her bones. Messy mousy hair, that fell flat once they washed the blood and grime away. The medics said she had a list of injuries, injuries that she should've passed out from. Hairline fractures on her ribs, blood in her stomach, a knocked out wisdom tooth (which she admitted, she might have swallowed), and a minor concussion with a matching hairline skull fracture. Plus they suspected, from her bodily appearance alone, she had been starved somewhat and dehydrated.

On the surface she wasn't much better. Two black eyes that made her eye area look like two animated sunken holes, a split, chewed up lip and bruised cheeks. Not to mention the yellow colored bruises along her ribcage and upper back. Her back had an old wound on it, but it was disturbing enough they had to record it. On her back were healed, reddish scars, from suspected chemicals burns. They spread out like a hideous frozen firework pattern. Hinting that Hydra may have been abusing her, which created more questions to be answered.

Nick Fury couldn't help feeling a sense of familiarity when he looked at her. Or noticing the fact she knew his face. He took in the black and blue teenager staring blankly at the ceiling, drumming her fingers against her thigh. When Natasha told him about her, he was at a loss. Logic told him to bring her here to keep her out of sight until they had a plan. If the Avengers and the Shield agents who followed them found out about her there were two outcomes. One, she would be imprisoned and rehabilitated. Two, they would recruit her to join Shield/the Avengers. Seeing her now made him thankful he kept this discovery a secret. Something about her was more than it seemed. And since she wasn't resting he might as well talk to her. While he had some privacy with her.

She watched him as he entered, underwhelmed from his presence. It was either a mistake on her part or a sign to lock her away and toss the key. It was when he came to her side he knew where he saw before. Around her neck was a necklace sporting a cluster of pendants, like charms. Three of them he recognized; a silver oval locket, a silver cross and a white gold horseshoe. Stunned he looked at her and saw another distinguishable feature. Her face was covered in freckles. Across her nose, cheeks, spreading down her neck, collar and shoulders exposed by her oversized dressing gown. Despite how she'd grown, he never forgot a face.

"You..." He was reeling. "We've met before."

He had seen her seven years ago, in Shield's old HQ before Washington. Held by the hand of Alexander Pierce. In a blue little dress and her clunky necklace bouncing on her chest, trying not to stare at his eye patch. She had the same freckles which made the secretaries fawn over her. And now she was in a Shield again, as a prisoner, banged up like she was thrown into a cage match.

"You weren't Pierce's goddaughter," he stated heavily. "You were a spy." She was like Natasha. This wasn't good at all.

But the girl did a very un-Romanoff thing, she rolled her bruised eyes. Letting out a pained wheeze she pushed herself upright from her current slouch. "That's what everyone likes to hear." Her hoarse Irish accent surprised him. He didn't remember that. Now that he thought about it, he never heard her speak all those years ago, now he knew why. But she told anyways. "Sorry. I couldn't fake an American accent back then. Told you I was super bashful didn't he?"

"Who are you?" Fury asked her.

"Nobody important." She gripped her necklace with a sad smile. "Just a handful of trinkets."

Fury leaned over the bed rails, glaring her down. "You do realize where you are? If you got anything to say. In your defense or otherwise. Now is the time to give me straight answers."

The girl wasn't rattled. His warning was reassuring, like a comfort. "Just kill me and get it over and done with – If that's what you're going to do." She coughed, "I mean, that's what is, isn't it? Especially in a tiny, dank place like this? Offer my services or I'll never see the light of day again. Well do me favor and put a bullet in my head, and toss me where no one can dig me up. There's your answer."

Fury wasn't expecting that. She's not like Romanoff, she would have never surrendered like this. This little girl wasn't a spy. It should have been comforting, all it did was raise more questions. What did Hydra do to her? Who was she? Why was she ready to die? Why did she think Shield would sanction an execution? Gently as he possible, he asked,

"What's your name?"

Annoyed, she mumbled, "Does it really matter anymore?" And didn't say another word.


	2. Chapter 2

**I'm back again! Thanks so much for the reviews, favorites and follows. Keep 'em coming, they fuel the fire ha ha. As always enjoy the chapter and let me know what you think.**

* * *

 _ **Chapter 2**_

"Her name is Raven," Natasha announced to Fury and Clint. "One of the survivors of her little stunt was more than happy to barter in exchange for some leniency."

"Seriously?" Gaped Clint. "Is that some codename? It sounds like a codename to me."

Natasha shook her head slightly in his direction, warning Clint to hold the jokes. Fury demanded she go find out about the girl from the survivors. Demanding intel was enough to indicate this was a grave situation. Another thing was that few wanted to talk even if it meant saving their hides. There was a degree of loyalty to her, a weird sense of respect among those relatively unharmed. The more she spoke to their prisoners she got a rough idea of who Raven was to Hydra. She spared some of the agents in the explosion which some predicted. One of the injured grumbled of his own free will. _She was going to take us all the hell with her. I guess they rumors were true._ He was delirious from his injuries and pain medication but she took note of it. What Fury said was also added to her character study of Raven. She was ready to surrender, in every sense of the word, as long as she remained anonymous. That an admittance of hiding. What did she fear more than Hydra?

The prisoner who talked was new, compared to Raven's seasoned associates. There was an air of fear when he spoke about Raven. He didn't know much about her, only rumors and whispers, but he was terrified of her. _I had no clue what to expect when I first saw her_ , he told Natasha. _She was so young I had no idea how to take it. The others knew her for years so they knew how to deal with her. I was just promoted and to meet her – the future, I didn't know how to feel. She's the same age as my niece._

"He says her name is Raven and she's about sixteen years old. She wasn't a spy but a scientist and an engineer. She was being groomed to take over Hydra. This whole incident came about because she was to comply to Hydra's demands. Which didn't go well, resulting in the whole base being blown up during her escape. We don't know how she did it but it was definitely her who caused it. Single-handedly."

Natasha slid a tablet toward Fury. "With the massive leak in Washington there was a file on her. It was buried deeper than any of the other files we salvaged. I spent days trying to get in."

Fury begrudgingly picked up the tablet. "Pierce flaunted her right under my nose. Told her to keep quiet and I had no idea." He took a deep breath. "It's been over two years since Washington and her file was more secured than Barnes'. Nothing good can be in here."

With a weary sigh Fury swiped his finger along the screen, reading the contents before him. Not a minute in, he already grimaced at the discoveries and the more he read the grimmer he became. With each swipe Natasha saw him wanting to lose his cool. Natasha never saw him like this, not even when Steve confronted him about Bucky. He was more disappointed with Shield than furious. Raven's secret had him internally broiling to the point his face dared show it. What was worse than the Winter Soldier? She was doubtful about the intense secrecy around Raven. All the extra precautions to keep the rest of the Avengers out it. It might end up causing more ill than good. Clint joked Steve might have took her under his wing if he saw her. It seems Raven's macabre request was indeed the best solution to their problem. Kill her and let everyone think she disappeared.

"You still have that safe house?" Fury turned to Clint.

Clint knew it wasn't a request by his tone. "Nick, I know it worked last time but you really want -"

He switched to Natasha. "Tell Raven, her request has been denied. She's going to heal under your and Barton's supervision."

"We're gonna go play house?" Clint couldn't help but guffaw. "After she blew up a Hydra base and killed a handful of operatives?"

"We can't hide her here," Fury deadpanned. "When an operative catches wind of this and that girl isn't accounted for, and someone throws stones at us using the media... Shield won't recover." He stared at the tablet. "The government will drag us through hell all over again, and it won't be pretty. I don't even wanna think about the future of the Avengers if this gets out from anyone's mouth but mine..."

Natasha blinked. "I know Steve has been questioning our methods but he won't walk because of this -"

"This isn't about Rogers. Not him." He hung his head. "No wonder she said to kill her. It's the only way to cut this off at the root."

This was the first Clint heard of her request. Wanting to kill herself to escape media attention and Hydra's hand. "Woah, woah," he interrupted. "What is this girl? What are me and Tasha supposed to do with her in the middle of nowhere?"

"Keep her under the radar until I figure out what do with her! Because if we make one false step then we've got another level of legal ramifications to deal with. The media just starting to forget about Barnes."

Natasha asked pointedly. "Nick, what is it? How can she unravel the Avengers? If you don't tell us you'll ensure it. No more secrets, remember?"

Raven stared at her cluster of pendants like they were tarot cards. Something bad is about to happen, what do I do? Should I still run for it and do what I promised? Or do I let the universe take its pound of flesh? Her locket, cross, horseshoe, treble clef and black jigsaw piece held no answers for her. They nestled in her palms burning her with the weight of her choices. She expected to die in the melee she caused. Half-baked choices led her into that situation, it was the only logical way to wipe the slate. With death came closure and she'd be forgotten, her secrets safe. There was no other way to properly escape Hydra's grasp and protect those she cared about. Shield's umbrella offered solace but the rental fee was high. Once they knew who she was they were never going to let her go. Unlike Hydra who wanted her to serve a purpose, Shield would all but put her in a grave. Having to follow their rules on a leash.

All her pendants did was show her how out of control everything became. All her nicely woven lies and truths unravelling with each day she spent in this she let them drop to her chest with a clanking chime. If Shield didn't kill her Hydra would try to, simple as that. What frightened her was how they'd do it, or who would do it. After the explosion, was she on her own, no allies or resources. Running from her old life and the demons she befriended there. That was why Raven wanted to die, to get away from it all, those loose ends waiting to strangle her.

Why can't anyone just let me disappear? She thought, eyes burning with tears. I've had enough, I want to go. She sat up staring at her broken leg, the grey boot was the most aggravating thing about this situation. If she was allowed to have her duffle bag, she could use her markers and draw some doodles on it and relax somewhat. However they kept her things under lock and key, far from out of sight. Not that she blamed them, she was more than shocked no one handcuffed to the bed. If she was desperate she could find it, but she didn't want to go that far. Not yet. Raven hated hurting people who didn't deserve it. It went against her personal code. Shield annoyed her at the most, and hadn't earn her wrath. For now she'd go through the motions until they crossed a line.

"Raven?"

Raven jolted at her name, chest tight with dread. They knew, she thought her heart pattering. Watching Hawkeye and Black Widow approach, she was surprised she wasn't more afraid. Only two things could happen now; a cell or a ditch. The exact same fate Hydra gave her before she blew a hole through the base. _Please don't do anything stupid or I'll never forgive_ you, a familiar voice warned her. _I swear to god Bird Brain._ Raven blinked away her tears as Hawkeye sat down on her bed. She's going to be so mad I let this get out of hand, she thought. And I'm never going to see her again now. Don't lose it Raven, she mentally berated herself. Don't lose it. Don't lose it. If you can't see her again, keep her safe.

Days ago when she was running for her life, dodging a small army of operatives gave her no time to think about promises. It wasn't her plan to die, but it became the plan once she was locked in that bunker. If she had died it wouldn't have hurt as much as coming out alive. Feeling the countdown to the end twisted a hot knife in her stomach. The countdown to _her_ finding out what happened at the base. Imagining herface when she realized she wasn't ever coming back, crying and wishing it wasn't true. Leaving her all alone. I'm such shit. She'll think I'm dead before figuring out Shield picked me up.

"What?" She gruffly asked. Spare me the pleasantries and just bang the gavel, she thought.

"How are you feeling today?" Black Widow asked. "The doctors were concerned you might start experiencing withdrawals from the drugs in your system."

Drugs? Her mind flashed to several shiny syringes entering her skin. At their mention Raven's hand began to quake. As if her body suddenly remembered its internal dilemma, or she just noticed it. Her handler used to give her pills to quell her anxiety and the shakes. It wasn't until she started skipping doses that she realized what they were doing to her. Nurturing an addiction to the point it was as normal as breathing. It was the driving point that made her say enough, she wasn't going to endure it anymore. Then they accused her of tampering with her medicine and she snapped. That was why they didn't kill her when she openly declared mutiny she was dragged into a room. _You aren't thinking straight Raven. You should've taken your medicine like a good girl._ The rest of it was murky but she recalled the syringes that made her heart race, the agony of waiting and being alone. _Let's see if we can change your mind._

"Huh," she mumbled. The statement didn't horrify her at all. Raven felt tired, so tired she wanted nothing more than to slip into a deep sleep.

"What's that?" Hawkeye wondered.

"Nothing," Raven said. "Doesn't matter."

"It's been long week, huh?" He continued.

"It's that's how long its been? Feels like ages." She scratched her uncombed hair. It had gotten shaggy and unkempt in the weeks she hadn't seen the sun. "So what do you want?"

They exchanged a look which made Raven think of social workers. They used to do that whenever she said something bizarre. It made her crawl deeper into herself. Far from the things that reminded her of the past. Black Widow seemed to sense their limited window and got to the point of their visit.

"Shield would like to extend an olive branch. As a peace offering." Black Widow sized her up. "You're already aware nearly all of Shield and Hydra's private files have become accessible to the public. Including yours."

This was all old news to Raven. She never feared anyone finding out about her, because no one cared. It was only now when they had to dig up her file that they were forced to give a damn. There were bigger fish to reel in than the genius, Irish, orphan girl. Like mercenaries, turn coats and enhanced rouges. If Shield was more clever they'd realize she knew where eighty percent of them were hiding. Pity that was the only thing Hydra got right about her. No one would ever fully comprehend what she was worth. Not that she wanted anyone to care about her – like that, anyways.

"And?" Sighed Raven.

"We wanna help you out," Hawkeye explained. "Keep you safe from Hydra. But we need to confirm some things, about you and why Hydra kidnapped you."

What was there to say? Raven hated telling this story, reliving the confusion, hurt and fear of what happened to her. What they didn't know was that Raven had access to her files long before the leak. She couldn't erase her existence but she knew precisely what was written and edited out what she preferred not to discuss. So true to the modified story in her file with some flippant rush-overs, she told them what they already knew.

She was born with a bad heart, which played a major role in her kidnapping. Her godmother was a cruel, guilt ridden woman murdered at the hands of Hydra as a coverup for their scheme. With some expert shuffle of papers and payouts, she ended up in the care of Hydra operatives. With a new confirmed legal guardian, her social worker moved on and she was at the mercy of captors. For storytelling finesse she added meeting Nick Fury with Alexander Pierce, under the charade of being his bashful goddaughter. She talked about being trained by Hydra to be a scientist, engineer and mechanic. How she was fed up with being a tool and wanted off the crazy train.

There was enough truth for them to believe her and plenty disbelief to distract them from the real question they wanted to ask. The reason Nick Fury hadn't come in here himself. What stopped him from locking her into a cozy little bunker. Something that she left in her file out of curiosity. The one thing that drove her life to this point. The billion dollar question. Who's your father?


	3. Chapter 3

_**Chapter 3**_

Tony groaned loudly at the sight of Nick Fury waiting for him in his penthouse. All ominous and grim in all black, with a glass of scotch in his hand. A part of him missed his Malibu beach house's privacy however after falling off its cliff and nearly drowning, he was over it. Avengers Tower was a nice change, but with the huge A on the Tower made him victim to spontaneous Avengers-related visits. Speaking of which, he was not fully in charge. Shouldn't Fury be looking for Steve and his wayward dream team? He looked more sombre than usual which wasn't a good sign. Tony couldn't help being put off at his unwanted appearance. With a worn turn of his head Fury acknowledged him with an exhausted stare. There was no cocky line or mocking gesture of greeting; another bad sign.

"Did you at least pour me one?" Tony grumbled. If a man helps himself to your bar, he should at least make you one. As a polite apology, or icebreaker for any bad news.

Fury didn't answer him right away. Instead he asked, "Pepper here?" Hearing his cautious tone sucked any revving retort Tony prepared. This was serious. He shook his head joining Fury at his bar. "Good," he said. "Because what I gotta tell you, you should hear alone."

The final bad sign that made Tony line up his drink. If this was so bad, he wanted to have a drink ready to help him get through it. He moved the chalice in reach for them both in case they needed refills. There was never a time anyone wanted to tell him something without Pepper. They accepted that she was going to be in the know of anything concerning him. This can't be good, he thought. As he poured his scotch on the rocks, he noticed the tablet Fury held under his free hand.

"Just me, or am I the first on the list?" He wondered. What could be Avenger/Shield related that Pepper shouldn't know about? Unless the other Avengers weren't supposed to know about it.

"Natasha and Clint know. You three are the only people in Shield who are going to know about this. No one else can know... not yet." He rubbed his brow. "Do you remember anything peculiar from about sixteen-seventeen years ago?"

Tony blinked, seventeen years ago? That was somewhere before Maya Hansen, the last peculiar thing he had to remember. What was he doing seventeen years ago? Besides a few visits to Nevada and his typical pre-Iron Man activities, there was nothing. What was Fury going on about?

Seeing the answer in his face Fury discarded his delicate tactic. With an impatient tone he prodded, "Goddammit... Does the name Vivian Rocher jog your memory?"

"What?" He spluttered. "How – Viv?" The name did ring a few, distant bells.

Vivian Rocher was a summer fling. He remembered her with vague adjectives; a showgirl, French, wavy auburn hair, green eyes, freckles. After Maya he made an effort to remember any other ex-girlfriends that might come back to kill him. Vivian was a pleasant blimp in his memory. It was a summer they both knew wouldn't last. There was nothing weird or extraordinary about her. She was just a wonderful woman who knew he was in for the scenic route. Their fling had been without any unique occurrences, other than being one of the few women who left him first.

Fury swiped his fingers across the tablet pulling up a picture of Vivian, her headshot. She wanted to be an actress, like most girls he met. "This her?" It was her alright. Just as he remembered, movie pretty with a smile that roped him in like bait. She was nice, he had no ill memories of her.

His mind sprung to the first conclusion he could concoct for Fury's visit. "Please don't tell me she's suddenly Hydra," Tony pleaded. "I swear to god I had no clue she would -"

"She's not Hydra," Fury deadpanned. "She's dead."

Tony froze. Dead? The beaming woman in the picture was dead. While Tony indeed felt a shimmer of pity, he wondered what it had to do with him. Why a woman he hadn't spoken to in over ten years, death was suddenly his problem. Then it hit him, with a sick thud in his gut. And unlike Maya who laughed it off as joke, this was no joke. "Don't you tell me. Nick, Nick," he rambled, "don't tell me..."

"She's just turned sixteen," Fury told him, as compassionately as he could. "When she was six years old Hydra kidnapped her. Her godmother was murdered and some Hydra operatives showed up claiming to be distant friends of hers. They got the county to sign her over to them without nothing but a waiting period." He shook his head, "Old school kid-snatching methods. Once the adoption-slash-custody was official, she disappeared. Marked as adopted by Hydra operatives with untraceable alias… We assumed they moved her around a lot like an army brat as they trained her."

It was too much to take without a drink. Tony took several heavy sips of his scotch before forcing his hand back. Fury swiped his finger across the tablet to another picture, the girl's. She was her mother's ghost with mousy hair and his father's hard stare. In the photo she looked sickly and miserable, barely looking into the camera. She resembled his father so much it was haunting, the hard expression and depth of her gaze made it impossible to tear his eyes away. _We have Starks have iron in our backbone son._

"Hydra... They killed Vivian?" He thought about his parents, taken out by Hydra and them covering it up as a car accident.

"No," Fury stated. "She died when she was four. By domestic violence."

Screw a sip, Tony took a big gulp not caring if the ice nearly flew out the glass. "And how did Hydra know she was mine?" This was so surreal, he had to ask.

"This part you really aren't going to like," he warned. "They collected a sample of Howard's DNA from his assassination. For some experiment, they never did," he grumbled. "Before they kidnapped her they sent an operative in to take a DNA sample when she was alone and asleep – They were casing her for the kidnapping so she'd go along with the operatives. Getting close and around her, classic Stockholm Syndrome tactics – Anyways," he cleared his throat, "the DNA test proved positive and they took her away. They found out about her because her guardian was trying to contact you. I guess she was trying to pass on the kid to you, because she actively proved did not want to be her guardian… Apparently the girl knew about you for a while."

Tony finished his drink with another gulp. "She knew… The kid? And now?" He fumbled for words. Struggling to make sentences and breathe evenly at the same time. "What happened to her?"

"Her exact words were, they didn't accept my resignation. They tossed her in a bunker in some base in Russia and tortured her for god knows how long. She fought her way out and blew up the base. Without a suit," Fury added dryly, sipping his drink. "She looks a bit like Howard, around the eyes."

Tony poured himself his pre-planned second drink. The ice hadn't even begun to melt from the first one. "So you got Clint and Natasha babysitting?"

"Only until I know what to do with her." Tony gawked at him perplexed. "Hydra thoroughly documented how they kidnapped this girl to mould her into their next director. Her IQ is higher than yours, Tony. Which I didn't even know was possible… and Pierce knew the whole time." He hung his head. "He brought this little girl to Shield and said it was his goddaughter. She never said a word but I remember the necklace she had on, and her freckles. Her face was full of freckles," he remarked distantly. "And she had a little blue dress on, looked like one of those porcelain dolls. The secretaries thought she was the cutest thing."

Tony clenched his fist around his glass as the wind was snatched from his lungs. Pierce knew, the same man who asked him to make an appearance at his niece's birthday party. He was looking him dead in the eyes laughing at him. Flaunted his dirty secret in front of Fury without a care. Wasn't it enough he took his parents from him? Now this? Tony was split down the middle with fury and ancient grief. It was hard enough knowing Barnes was out and about. He was still getting used to having to run into the guy from time to time. Looking at the man who killed his father and mother. Although it made coping day to day easier, with faces to associate the pain with. Faces he could avoid or filter around if need be. However this was something harder to swallow. This girl was his kid.

He never imagined himself having kids, especially now as Iron Man and after suffering through Pepper's kidnapping. They never talked about it either because there was no reason to discuss it. And now after a round of drinks – minus the fun part – he was a father. That alone made his dizzy, but to think an innocent kid was ripped away from her life because of the Stark family made him physically ill.

"Her name," Tony said slowly. "You never told me what her name was."

Fury realized he hadn't. "Raven. Her name is Raven Alice Celeste Rocher, according to her birth certificate. She turned sixteen a month ago… While I did come here to let you know, we have to make a decision."

"We?" He snorted. "Why does it sound that we're hiding a body?"

"I might have to," Fury snapped. "There are two options on the table. You can talk to Pepper and decide if you want to take her in. Out of an act of kindness or whatever you want to call it. Or you give me the okay and I make sure no one hears the name Raven Rocher again. She disappears and we never talk about it again."

"Are you serious?" Tony slammed his glass down. "You tell me I have a sixteen year old daughter and you wanna talk her away from me?"

"It's not about you," Fury hissed. "When I found that girl battered in a disaster zone did you know what her only request was? She asked me to kill her and bury her deep where no one could find her. It's Raven who wants to disappear... But who wouldn't think a grave is the safest place in the world, after what she's been through."

Tony's rage flickered to stunned silence as he continued. Raven was probably scared, paranoid much like him after Afghanistan and Manhattan. Her request was like a little kid hiding in the closet until the monsters went away.

"I want to give you the option to take her in, if that's what you want. You know what the media will say, what the courts might do. Either way, I think she deserves a chance to start over. No matter where that is." He paused to chose his next words more delicately. "Hydra has no idea she made it out alive. They all think she's dead. If the world finds out Hydra has systematically attacked your family, Shield is going to be under attack for not saving her sooner. She'll be in the spotlight, and Hydra might just be crazy enough to do worse to her than your parents. Just to keep her quiet. Her life is in danger and the girl is thinking about the smartest thing to do, run and never look back."

Pepper smelt the sharp aroma of scotch on Tony when she came home. Disappointment gently washed over her as he lifted his head smiling at her. Even half drunk he maintained his charisma easily. Sitting under a dim spotlight like some film noir character. His smile was sleepy and uneven, oozing with Stark charm. She thought they got over this, drinking alone and somewhat in the dark. Especially once his nightmares became less frequent and his panic attacks disappeared. She sighed and sat down beside him at the bar, kicking off her pumps. It was then she realized there was another glass on the counter.

"Had company?" She softly pressed. It wasn't clear how drunk he was, and it had been a while since his last Sit-In-The-Dark-And-Drink episode. Her How-Drunk-Is-Tony-Radar was out of practice.

He nodded, knowing how bad this looked. "You came home just in time. I was about to commit to the idea of going solo," he patted his scotch chalice. More sternly he added, "Nick came by."

"Did something happen?" Pepper cupped his hand nearest to the chalice, pulling it from him, outside her arm farthest from him. "Tony?" She asked again when he didn't answer. "Did one of the Avengers..."

"No," he choked out. "No one got hurt. Well, not anyone we know... I mean – Oh god Pep," he inhaled sharply. "I don't know what to do. I have to make this decision. A big decision – something irreversible and I don't know what to do. I don't – I don't -" His voice began to break. "First my parents and now this."

"Stop, stop," Pepper squeezed his hand. "Tony, stop. Start from the beginning." She caressed the back of his head. "What did Nick say?"

In a quaking voice Tony relayed everything Nick told him. About Raven; her intelligence, her purpose in Hydra, how she got there and what she initially wanted. He told her about Vivian; how she died and how they met. About the DNA sample Hydra stole from his father and how they used it to figure out whether Raven was his or not. Ultimately coming to the decision he had to make. It was simple, Raven wanted to disappear and all he had to do was give the okay. But could he? How was he supposed to react when a kid who knew he was her father for years was ready to put it behind her? Like it was something ugly she didn't need in her life. Having kids was never a goal of his, not after his childhood. Still, hearing the kid he now learned of, disown him without meeting him cut him as deep as his father's biting remarks. Maybe she was his father reincarnated, forever disappointed.

"I don't know what to do." He hung his head. "All this time... I had a daughter that's been Hydra's behind-the-scenes guy. And she finally broke out after being tortured and wants to disappear… And she just turned sixteen," he added woefully. "Hell of a sweet sixteen huh?"

Pepper held back her comments until Tony was finished. Like Tony she hadn't imagined herself with children. She barely recovered from being kidnapped and being cured from a genetic virus. It was enough work keep their weekly appointment for date night. To bring a teenager in their home, with her own set a problems was more than overwhelming. Could they take care of her? Could Tony bond with her after all this time? She didn't want to turn a child in need away, especially if she was Tony's daughter. It was a question of if they had anything to offer her?

"What do you want to do?" She asked him. "Do you want to at least meet her? Let her know that there's a place for her here?"

Tony brought her hand to his lap, clenching and unclenching it as he ranted. "It's so sudden. I hear I have a daughter, she doesn't want to meet me. Nick's gonna make her disappear and then I have to go on pretending I don't have a daughter. I have to go on, maybe have kids, and pretend she isn't out there." His eyes drifted to the chalice. "I always thought if I ever had a kid, I would a better father than mine. It's now time to put up or shut up and it's still all about me.

I can't decide what hurts worse!" He went on. "Her, not wanting me. The fact she might have spent her whole life hating me. Or that I'll spend my whole life wondering what happened to her if I let her go. I haven't once thought how she might feel, because I can't imagine what she's feeling. Maybe I don't want to..."

Pepper stroked his cheek with the back of her fingers. "Can't you meet her and then make a decision?"

"Nick doesn't want it getting out unless I'm taking her in. I think this whole thing's got him more spooked than me." He cleared his throat. "You know Pierce brought her to Shield years ago? Practically paraded her under Fury's nose, like a show pony, even after what he already did... He had to take another Stark," he spat. "And all she did was be born."

* * *

 **Yes, I'm teasing you, but I really wanted a Tony-centric chapter before introducing Raven and Tony. But I promise the next chapter is going to be the pay off.**

 **As always tell me what you think and please review. I love hearing your thoughts, or** **critiques.**

 **Anotherscribe.**


	4. Chapter 4

_**Chapter 4**_

Raven hobbled on her boot to the kitchen of Clint's farmhouse. Of all the cells she imagined Shield to throw her into, she never guessed a farm. Instead of being sullen and annoyed it was like they threw her into a five-star hotel. Despite the company being two Avengers who made notes each time she took a shit. The last time she was on a farm she was on an outing for foster kids. The first and last trip she was on before being kidnapped. No one wanted to take her because all the other children thought she was weird, and the other social workers morbid. She had begged her foster mother to let her go. Being on her best behavior to the point it was unsettling. It had been worth it.

While other kids fussed for a ride on the horse she wandered off and found the cow pen. One of the farmhands found her and let her pet one of the calves. Its eyes and soft hair were branded into her memory. Cows had such kind eyes, big and brown with long lashes. She made a joke about the mascara-lashes and the farmhand laughed. He even showed her the machine used to groom the cows because they liked being combed. Showing the cows taking turns rubbing up against it, smiling in their own way. She was the only one to have seen it. Most the kids called her daft for finding a smelly cow better than a horse, but she stood firm with her favoritism. She had been so proud of her trip she drew a picture of the farm hand, the cow and the machine. They pinned it up on the overcrowded fridge up until her last day at the house. Her foster father teased her daily saying she should own a farm one day. A diary farm so she could take care of cows all day without having to kill them.

The farm also reminded her of her worst nightmares. Not the kind that scare you but make you wake up in tears. Of being in her old bed at her foster home, only to come downstairs and find a Hydra lab. The farmhouse was everything she ever wanted, a sanctuary away from the world. Being there was equally soothing and frightening, because in the end this was still Shield. A prison on a stunning island. She was determined to act like everything was okay. Not like this a transit point. Raven was going to have a bowl of cereal and not think about the noose around her neck, or the chaos left in her wake. The farmhouse could catch fire right now and she'd keep eating.

"Hungry?" Clint asked. He entered the kitchen without a care, finding her reaching for something in the high cupboard shelf.

She wasn't used to living with caring housemates. Her handler often left for days. Somedays the fridge was stocked, other times she had to order out or make her own dinner. Having Clint and Natasha around (they said it okay to call them by their first names) wanting her to be comfortable made her nervous beyond articulation. They knew her secret but they weren't obligated to care. Did they pity her lot in life or had a decision been made behind her back? Either way their presence made her anxious like a fighting dog.

"Just looking for a snack." Balancing was hard on one foot with bad ribs but she was hellbent to succeed.

Clint snorted. "You could have just asked. The doctors want you to avoid any unnecessary strain, you did take a beating after all."

"I'm fine," she lied. Everyday for the past week she woke up in pain. Whether from her ribs, her shoulder or the fact she was on new meds that made her hypersensitive to everything. She gathered her old pills were all laced with something extra once she stopped taking her anxiety pills. Never did she think her whole prescription cocktail had to go. New heart meds, no sleeping pills, regular daily vitamins and on-the-shelf pain killers. She wondered while her nerves roared in distress, if her internal organs were singing hallelujah.

"Uh huh," he gestured for her to sit down. "What do you want?"

"I'll have an apple then," she deadpanned. If he was getting food for her she wouldn't ask for anything else. No one was going to accuse her of ordering anyone around. "See? I had it all under control."

He rolled his eyes, seeing through her ploy. "How about some yogurt with that? Tasha won't mind."

Raven didn't protest as he set her up with a plate, knife, an apple and the carton of yogurt. Natasha liked those greek flavors that she too, secretly adored. She had to retain a squeal of delight when she was offered one. Weeks of being in a bunker without proper food, being fed through needles, Raven craved pigging out on all her favorite snacks. Before her imprisonment she had ridiculous food restrictions that went beyond safeguarding her heart. Retaining her glee she began to cut the green apples into even thin wedges. Plenty for the portion of yogurt. Clint chuckled at her diligent concentration. Orderly without fail, come what may.

"You always do everything seriously huh?"

"Eh?... I guess." She frowned at his statement. If everyone would leave her alone she might actually unwind. It wasn't her fault all this supervision made her jittery and snippy. She hadn't been babied since she was eight.

He joined her at the table with water bottle. "Look, Natasha wants me to tell you that someone is coming by today." His smirk fell away. "A visitor who wants to see you."

"An agent?" She guessed. The bell was getting ready to toll for her after all.

"No. It's... It's Tony. Tony Stark. Natasha's bringing him here, he wants to meet you."

Clint figured Raven would either be a cold, tinier version of Natasha or a pain in the ass like Tony. Even after being tortured and imprisoned for six months Tony bounced back. Raven never spoke and she like to stare out into the endless fields. Her silence might have intimidated him if she didn't jump like a spooked cat whenever they spoke to her. Or the fact she spent a whole day doodling on her boot like a five year old with colored Sharpies. He guessed it was related to the constant string of abuse she experienced since she was four. When you kept to yourself no one had cause to hurt you. Yet to think someone as damaged as her going through hell and clawing her way out without any help was astonishing. She was horrendously amazing, but she was just a kid in the end. A kid who watched her dad become a hero while no one rescued her.

Her face changed at the mention of Tony's name. Surprise, disbelief and back to that frown. It was a cute frown, her nose scrunched up, lip twisting into scowl. She never expected him to come. Tony was somewhat of an asshole but he never doubted he would want to see Raven. Did Hydra teach her that he'd never help her? That they were the only people who would care about her? It was basic conditioning. For that reason primarily, Natasha insisted that Fury tell Tony about Raven. They believed he might surprise Fury, and help Raven. She had done nothing but survive, she shouldn't be punished for that.

"He just wants to meet you," he added when she resumed to cutting her apple. Now slicing down like a guillotine. She said nothing and kept her gaze down. "He won't stay long if you don't want him to."

It occurred to him Raven might be scared to meet Tony. At a loss about what to do or say. He pitied her in that respect. She was kidnapped and tortured because she was his daughter. Her life was stolen to become better than him and help Hydra eliminate Shield and the Avengers. Her purpose was the destroy his legacy. Clint couldn't begin to list all the conflicting emotions swimming in her head; torn between what Hydra beat into her head and what she truly felt.

She said nothing and moved to open the carton of yogurt. Just as her fingers pulled back on the foil cap a car horn beeped. From the first honk Raven's other hand clenched around the carton in a vice. Sending yogurt all over her hand and the table. She immediately start to shake, stammering apologies and hyperventilating like she spilled nuclear waste. Clint rose for a paper towel wiping her hands and the table. Brilliant timing, he thought sarcastically. Doing his best to be quick but deft with his clean up.

They learned in the first few days Raven didn't like being touched. She tolerated being held by her hands or forearms but anything higher sent her recoiling like a cobra. Along with people standing too close. Typical abuse victim behavior; wary of any and all threats to her person. When he took her hand into his, he instantly felt how stiff she became, like a corpse in rigor mortis. Fingers still curled like she was still holding the yogurt cup. She was a rabbit playing dead for the predators.

In the corner of his eye he saw Natasha's red hair at the door. Behind Raven's head he made a signal for her the back up. Raven wasn't ready for any company. She saw him and her hair disappeared from the front of the porch. He turned back to Raven.

Soothed her he said, "It was an accident. No big deal." He tossed the soiled tissues on the table.

"I didn't mean to do that." The way her voice cracked at the most mundane accidents killed him. What did Hydra do to her?

He nodded, "I know you didn't mean to do that." With no missions he was glad to help Raven out. One psychological trauma survivor to another. Hydra had played with her mind and emotions at the worst points in her life. Picking at all the cracks until she crumbled. She was in desperate need of a second chance, and some patience. "It's okay. I needed to practice my clean up skills anyways."

"I didn't mean to do that," she repeated much slower and softer. "I didn't mean to do that." And just like that she crawled away from the world. Beating her fingers against the edge of the table. Whenever she had a panic/anxiety attack her instant coping mechanism was humming or drumming a beat with her fingers. After a few minutes she'd come out of it like she never left. Clint sighed in defeat, resuming his clean-up while Raven powered through her ordeal.

"What's going on?" Tony questioned.

Natasha lead him up to the empty farmhouse from the nearest airport, which wasn't that close at all. He hadn't seen the place since the fiasco with Ultron. It sank in as he walked up the steps, that his daughter was in there. He ran here to hideaway from the monster he created. Now he was returning to see someone he created that Hydra trained to be a monster. A bizarre deja vu. If Cap was here he might have something to say about it. And just when he thought the suspense was finally going to be over, Natasha stopped him.

"We can't go in yet... Raven's not ready for company just yet." She gestured to a swing-chair near the door. "Clint will let us know when she's ready."

Tony took a seat beside Natasha. Was she getting ready or something? Maybe she was just as nervous as he was right now. She knew about him for years, probably watched his life as it went by in high and lows. Thinking of how he behaved before Iron Man, he wondered if she saw that too. What she thought of him. Picturing a little girl watching him run around, party, advocate weapons of mass destruction made him want to sit in the car and hide like a drunk kid staggering home in shame. How old was she when he became Iron Man? When Ivan Vanko almost killed him? During the Manhattan Invasion? Ultron?

"So," he clapped his hands briskly together. "I'm surprised you haven't said anything."

Natasha sighed. "You don't need anyone kicking you in the teeth right now. You didn't know about her, no one can blame for that. Hydra intercepted the letter her godmother sent to you. You couldn't have known."

"It's like Hydra's obsessed with me or something," he quipped.

She gave him a sympathetic smile. "She's not as bad as Fury might have made her sound... She just caught us off guard. Her file was buried deeper than Bucky Barnes'."

Mentioning Bucky made Tony's jaw clenched. Hearing his name reminded Tony of how intricately Hydra had attacked his family. How he had to look into the eyes of his parents' killer and just deal with it. Steve was considerate enough not to bring Barnes around him unless absolutely necessary. Seeing him prodded at the ancient wounds, threatening to tear them open. Pepper loved to say, one day it will be easier to look at him. But presently he couldn't stomach thinking about him.

"Don't bring that up please," Tony reminded Natasha.

"I was only making the point that Hydra buried her deeper than any of us could have stumbled upon. We wouldn't have found her if she hadn't blown up that base." She reassured him, "Nick was more shellshocked than you. He never imagined something like this might happen again. And so soon."

"That's why he's so ready to tuck her away?" Tony snorted. "To live with himself?"

"Aren't you here for the same reason? So you can live with yourself, no matter the outcome?" She pointed out. "She's not what you think she is. Her file makes her sound more intimidating than she really is in person."

"You are trying to make feel better?"

Her smile fell away. "If you're going to do what I think you are, you need to hear this. She needs help and a lot of patience. She wanted to get out of Hydra. Went through a lot of hell to do it. Raven needs somewhere safe to recover, to start over. She's young," she added, "much younger than when I got out. There's hope."

Natasha's past wasn't so secretive anymore. The Red Room, the training, her life before Shield and Clint. It gave Tony the confidence to ask, "How bad was it?" In respects to Raven.

"She doesn't talk about it but I've notice things. Scars, behavior patterns, PTSD symptoms. Rebellious spirits are hard to break, and she's not all that broken."

She was cut short by Clint knocking on the door, and stepping outside. He nodded in greeting to Tony a dish towel tossed over his shoulder. "Just give her a minute." He glanced over his shoulder. "She had a little episode again."

"I expected as much," said Natasha. To Tony she explained, "When Raven has a panic-slash-anxiety attack she zones out for several minutes and fidgets with her fingers. When she snaps out of it, she goes on like nothing happened."

Tony blinked. "Wait, she had an episode – Just now?" The assassinations barely blinked at this news. "Does she do that a lot?"

"It just certain things. It's expected," Natasha reassured. "The first night she had a nightmare and threw herself out the bed. Almost broke her other leg."

Seeing Tony's stunned expression Clint took over. "She broke her right leg, burned her right shoulder and has fractured ribs. Still doesn't want any help with anything," he added grumpily. "She'd break every other bone in her body before she takes a helping hand." He peered over his shoulder into the house. "She's eating again. You ready?"

Tony threw up his arms, "As ready as I'll ever be."

If she appeared sick in the picture, in person she was a well put-together zombie. She didn't raise her head at his entrance. Although he made sure his footsteps were loud enough, short of becoming cartoonish. Her gaze was focused on her yogurt and apple slices. She isn't going to look at me unless I talk to her, he thought tiredly. Tony had no clue what to say. He saw the huge bandage on her shoulder and her rigid posture in the chair. Was she in pain? It was jarring to think a sixteen year old fought her way out of a Hydra base without getting any life threatening injuries. He glanced down at her boot and noticed the dainty drawings on them. Trees, birds, waves, butterflies and boats were laid out like a tattoo sleeve. Some of them even ran together like a collage. She's artistic, he noted. I can work with that.

"Hi," he weakly announced himself. "Is this seat taken?" He pointed to the chair beside her, opposite her propped up leg.

God, she did look like his dad. The way she stared at him brought back memories, Howard questioning and irritated. With a lazy shrug from her, he sat down. Her face was seriously bruised, some of them were faded to yellow while the others were still dark and swollen. It was hard to tell where her black eyes ended and dark circles began. Looking at her made him guilty somehow. Where was he when she was being beat down? Plotting her escape and fighting to stay alive?

"So Raven is it?" She returned her gaze down to her lunch. But at least she looked at him for half a minute. "Rough week huh?"

Even he had to wince at himself. He talked himself through worse situations, why was he so tongued tied? Raven shrugged once more, "The farmhouse's new."

He was startled at her voice when she spoke. It broke his concentration and gave him the opportunity for small talk. "That's a hell of an accent you got there." Her accent was thick and unmistakeable. He didn't expect her to still have it despite only living there for eight years of her early childhood. Before Hydra started moving her around. Come to think of it he never met any Irish Hydra operatives.

"I was born there," she deadpanned.

Her clipped tone went vaguely unnoticed. "And you still got it huh? You would think after eight years -"

"I go back sometimes," she snapped. Realizing her volume she quieted down. "For my birthday and stuff... Not like anyone cared about me going back."

Whether she was embarrassed over losing her cool, or wounded at being forgotten, the knife in his gut twisted. He knew what it was like to feel forgotten, like when his father shipped him off without a care. She was breaking his heart. What he supposed to say after that? He couldn't imagine asking about her childhood.

"So what are you planning to do after you're off house arrest?"

"Disappear," she stated scooping a dollop of yogurt on an apple slice. "I'm sick of being Raven." She tucked the slice into her mouth, averting her eyes from him.

It was the nicest jab anyone ever took at him. He had prepared himself for the typical I Hate You and You Ruined My Life rants. Instead Raven politely and discreetly said she was "sick" of being affiliated with him. A crystal glass insult. It was a relief she hadn't blamed him to his face, it meant he had a chance. He could make this right, for the both of them.

"Maybe you need to give Raven one more chance," he suggested. "I mean you think Raven has nowhere to go once she's all better. What if I say there's a room at Avengers Tower with her name on it?" He paused to gather himself, if he pitched this wrong she wasn't going to bite. And he wouldn't drag her out there kicking and screaming. "No commitment. Stay as long as you want to figure stuff out. Rent free."

He expected an immediate response but Raven was baffled, doing a double take like she hadn't heard him right. Cheek swollen with food she stared down at her hands, and began to fidget. He didn't know why he envisioned hyperactive finger twitching. Like a bored child as a restaurant she rhythmically tapped the table edge, he couldn't make out if it was a tune or a morse code. Had he set her off? Great going Stark. Haplessly watching he sat powerless as she began to manically hum to herself, eyes squeezed shut tuning the world out. Despite remembering Clint telling him she rode these episodes out on her own, he felt compelled to help. Thinking if he halted her drumming she might snap out it, he lifted his hand to hold her hands. Reaching for her hands she leapt back like an angry snake. What happened next was a combustible domino effect.

Inches from her hands she propelled herself backwards, spooked. With a high pitched yelp the chair she was sitting on slide back. Resulting in her foot, resting in the chair beside her, to lose its balance making her curse quite colorfully as she flapped for stability. Tony mortified of the agony she would be in if she fell, rushed to push her back toward the table. Luckily she lifted her foot to prevent that other chair from sliding away too. By the end of it the pair were side by side, out of breath.

"Everything okay in there?" Clint questioned when he all but ran in. He glanced from Stark to Stark awaiting an explanation.

Without a glance at the other party they both responded. "Nothing."

Their synchronized answers surprised them both. Tony gawked at her and Raven vice versa. There was no words to describe what happened. After a few moments of silence Tony began to chuckle to himself. Thinking their little party trick was a sign that they should give each other a chance. She didn't think so. Raven bit her lip and turned her eyes away somewhat embarrassed. His laugh died down and he shrugged to Clint. He couldn't always have everything.

Within two weeks her world transformed from a snow globe to a spinning top. No one was acting the ways she anticipated. Tony Stark came to see her and stayed for dinner. Having him sitting across from her at dinner stole her appetite. Seeing him was disorientating enough, eating with him was pushing it. With a shrivelled stomach she excused herself to go sit on the front steps, staring up at the sky. Tony's offer buzzed around her ears for the whole day. Be Raven for a little while longer. Come to New York and live in the Tower. She gnawed at her knuckles wracking her brain for all the ways this could go wrong. What was she even supposed to do at the Tower? Twiddle her thumbs all day? Not that she wanted Shield work in place of Hydra work. It was a question of what was in it for Tony Stark.

"You really put your fingers through a lot."

His jabs weren't helping her indecision either. She turned away from him chewing at her knuckles incessantly. He noisily sat down beside her. What was his problem? He wanted to see her, but now he wouldn't leave. His presence was spoiling her well-thought out plan. Worse than the iceberg that sunk the Titanic.

"Clint said you like views. You know at the Tower we have a great view of the city. If you like an apartment with a view," he added lightheartedly.

He was trying so hard to initiate a conversation, but Raven had no idea what to tell him. What did he even want her to say? Bravely she glanced at him. She never fathomed being this close to Tony Stark. He was always this person on tv or a glossy picture in magazines. Forever out of reach and not quite real. Now beside him she saw his age, the pores on his face, the movement of his chest as he breathed. He was so tangible and real, her ears and noses smoked with steam. This was her father, no longer a sad daydream. She spent years wondering what she'd ask him, what to tell him and how to react. After all she went through with Hydra, to get to a moment like this was unfathomable. All her plans had turned to ashes, along with her silly daydreams. The magic of meeting him was now a bag of cheap confetti.

"Not a talker huh?" He turned to her and Raven darted her eyes away.

How long had she been gawking at him like an idiot? He probably thinks I'm mental, she thought hunching her head closer to her chest. She didn't care if it hurt her ribs a little. She wanted to disappear.

"I know, I know," he sighed. "You didn't really want to meet me anyways. You were ready to disappear and put the past ten years behind you. I just -"

"I didn't think you would come," Raven interrupted. If she never got to see him again, she was going to be as honest as she could risk. Much louder she said, "I didn't want to ask because I didn't know if you would care or not. My godmother said you wouldn't want to meet me. Ever."

Her Auntie Irene, who's wish to get rid of her came true in the way she never imagined. When she figured out the father she had wasn't her real father, she nagged her for information. After two constant years of pestering Raven had a handful of clues. He was an American businessman and clever like her. He didn't know she existed, and if he did he wouldn't want to meet her. He had lots of money and no time for a strange, naughty daughter. Hydra coddled this fear like a seedling. To confess it made her wring her fingers over and over.

"What?" His face contorted in confusion. "Your godmother said that? But wasn't she trying to -"

"She wanted to get rid of me. She just had to die for it to happen." Raven clenched her fingers, twisting them like a stubborn rag. "I kept nagging her about you, who you were and what you were like – because she said she met you. I guess she either wanted you to take me off her hands or piss off and get me to shut up about you."

"So you thought I wouldn't come?" She nodded. "Is that why you're all...?" He gestured to her frantic hands. She stiffly bobbed her head, embarrassed at her lack of composure. He rubbed his head studying her nervous tick. "She told you I wouldn't want you?"

"Because I was bad and no one wanted a mad dog in their house," she supplied.

"She told you that to your face?" Exclaimed Tony.

There was a lot of things her godmother told her. From calling her mother a whore to trying to get her committed to a children's asylum. Shield thought Hydra made her monster, they only perfected the mould. It was one of the reasons she edited her personal files and kept one true copy for herself. With several of her original tutors and associates dead, her origins were becoming their own mythos. The more Hydra thought their plans worked in creating the perfect leader, the better it was for her. It made her escape possible because no one was prepared for her standoff or the fact she blew the base up. Abuse never broke her, it made her stronger.

"She didn't like me very much... She didn't want to take care of me after what happened, so she kept trying to get rid of me."

"Why?"

"Because it was her fault and she knew that I knew. She told my mum's boyfriend I wasn't his, and he went bonkers. Got drunk and tried to drown me in the tub, my mum came home and he bashed her face in in the living room." The memory used to throw her into hysterics. Now it was an acidic ache in the back of her skull. "She managed to pull me out the tub before he took her to the living room... There's a big stain on the floor where all the blood went. Auntie Irene poured bleach on it everyday when she saw it. She swore blood was stuck in between the splinters."

Raven broke into the old flat the last time she was in North Dublin. The new tenants covered the discolored splotch with a massive carpet, completely ignorant to its true identity. They probably thought it was renovation accident gone wrong. She stroked the spot, one last time. Saying goodbye to the horror the memory held in her heart, her mother and the spot she took her last breath. She never visited the neighborhood again.

Tony was now tense, staring out into the field. "Are you alright?" She asked. In the corner of her eye Raven saw Tony becoming pale.

His voice was tight and strained. "That's a lot to take in. And you were four?"

"Five when the county put me in the foster care system," she added. "A year or so later I was in Hydra."

Tony grimaced. "You can't catch much of a break huh? No wonder you want to get a clean slate, yours is pretty much about to tip over."

"Foster care wasn't so bad, I was only in two homes. The first one was shit but the last one was okay."

"What happened in the first one?"

"People hate when kids are smart enough to call them out," she stated. "They thought I'd benefit from a heavily structured household. It made me act out more." Tony rubbed his nose bridge. "I'm sorry, I said too much. I'll shut up."

"Hey, no," he hastily assured her. "I just need a second. It's everyday you meet your daughter and find out her life makes hell look like a yoga retreat."

Raven thought she'd be more offended with his stupid jokes. "It's more like if the Divine Comedy was a Winnie the Pooh book."

Tony guffawed. "That's a good one. You're pretty funny when you're in the mood." After a light pause he spoke again. "I want to make some things right. I'm not much of dad – to be fair, I just found out I am one. And how bad of dad would I be if the day after I meet my daughter for the first time, she disappears out of existence." He glanced at her to see a transparent smile on her face. His excitement was welcoming. "Is that a smile? At least I can do that right."

His regretful tone urged Raven to speak. There was a pause as his smile died down. "Meeting you was nice. I never thought I would, but you don't want to live with me. I'd be an awful flat mate," she rambled, "I don't sleep much so I just skulk about the place. I appear out of thin sometimes too. Plus I hear you have a girlfriend, she probably won't like me. I shouldn't come into your house and wreck every -"

Tony touched her hand, she jumped from the contact but didn't pull away. His grip was gentler than she expected. It didn't pinch or make her flesh crawl. "Hey, I'm no prize either. Ask anyone, nine times out of ten they'll call me an asshole – which is a horrible way to prove my case, but I digress." He patted her clenched palms. "My girlfriend is completely okay with you moving in. And insomnia is totally fine, I've had a few late nights myself. This isn't a roommate agreement where I kick you out if you don't pay rent or do the dishes. If you move in you'll have a permanent spot on the lease." He squeezed her hands. "It'll be your home Raven."

Raven wasn't a chatty person so a nod was all he got for an answer. On the surface he was collected and certain but, deep down he was shitting himself. He just let in a girl he barely knew into his home. Something about how adamantly she believed he wouldn't want her, her godmother beating her down before Hydra stuck their claws into her, got to him. There was no way he'd live with himself, letting her think she never had a chance being a part of someone's family. Sure he laid on the charm and persuasion a bit. He refused to leave the farm without her. It'd feel like the biggest regret of his life if he did.

He texted Pepper once Natasha started helping Raven pack. His hands shook a little and he craved a strong drink. It was hard to imagine her whole life fit into an oversized duffle bag. Her room was going to be a bit empty when she unpacked. Though he was sure once she settled in she'd decorate it however she wanted.

Until now it hadn't dawned on him what he was doing. He was unofficially adopting Raven, along with a new plate of responsibilities and duties. There were going to be articles, pictures and gossip spreads. Most of all, there were going to be questions. He and Pepper were going to have to work an air tight story for that. Technically Raven had already been adopted according to the county of North Dublin. All they had to do was surgically play down the kidnapping and her initial role at Hydra. If they didn't and the media found out a kid was stolen to topple Shield, it'd be a nightmare. More accusations of corruption in Shield, demanding answers, and worse of all the scrutiny of Raven.

Okay, he internally calmed himself, we'll just keep her in the Tower until we have a good story. Something we can all agree on. Fury preferred the easy way of making her disappear, and yet he gave him this chance to do it the hard way. Tony wouldn't be surprised if Clint and Natasha were planning a victory dinner when he left.

He texted Pepper once more as Raven said her goodbyes to Clint and Natasha. _She's coming_ , he typed. _Don't freak out if she doesn't talk much. Remind me to look into Shield affiliated psychological and physical therapists. She might need some extra clothes._

 _What do you mean extra clothes?_ She responded back.

 _She hardly has anything. The clothes she had on were Clint and Nat's. But she's definitely a size small. Small everything. Extra small if you can find it._

 _Okay._

Tony chortled at her response. He could practically hear her sighing to herself. He was preoccupied on wracking his brain for anything else Pepper might forget, when Clint snuck up behind him.

"Shield is gonna lose their mind when they hear about this. Another Stark," he teased.

Ignoring the excitement and queasy jolt down his spine, he smirked the comment off. Another Stark. He pictured Pierce saying the same thing with an evil grin. Knowing full well he killed the last one. What would his dad have said if he knew how twisted his legacy had become?

Tony wagged his phone in Clint's face. "Me and Pep will handle the press. You and Natasha slip Fury some Tums." He spied out Natasha and Raven still talking. "Those two got close pretty quick." Hopefully she and Pepper would be the same.

"Yeah," Clint smirked. "We all swore Hydra made another Red Room. I think Tasha's happy she was something else, and it helps she reads Raven like a book."

"I'm suddenly imagining Steve's reaction to this. Another one of my secrets causing problems in Shield."

Clint snorted. "You know better than anyone, Steve's hobby of rescuing and housing Hydra defectors. He'll be the last to talk."

That part of Steve Tony missed right about now. He did miss talking to the boy scout, he'd probably have some good advice for him. But like poison, Barnes' sin spread to everything Tony held dear.

* * *

 **So they finally meet! I decided to give you guys a long chapter after dragging it out for so long. As always tell me what you think, review to fuel my fingers and enjoy!**

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	5. Chapter 5

_**Chapter 5**_

Leaving the farmhouse reminded her of the day her handler adopted her. It was an idyllic sunny day, her foster parents hugged her goodbye and wished her a happy life. He was waiting for her by his car, in no rush for her to come. Like an officer letting a prisoner enjoy their last meal. Tony Stark was itching to leave however. He was fidgeting with his phone, trying to appear collected and oh so cool like an extra from Grease. Luckily she didn't have much to thank Clint and Natasha for, and they not much to tell her. Other than good luck and not to worry. This was sickening familiar.

"So we're heading to New York?" She mumbled once the farm became a speck on the horizon.

Tony glanced her way momentarily before resuming the easier view before him. I must be hard to look at, Raven thought combing her hair over her face. "Yeah? Have you ever been?"

"Not really. I pass through a lot of places." They didn't want to risk her bolting or crossing paths with the Avengers. "I hear nice things, excluding the alien invasion."

"Bet you've seen worse." He noted, words tightening in a noose. "Aliens were my first introduction to the… well, my typical work day."

She remembered the invasion. As well as Tony's stunt, that held the world hostage for a brief minute. Before then he was a partying CEO. "Including the wormhole?" Raven wondered. She imagined that being more terrifying since his suit didn't look space-friendly at all.

He paused for a moment. "You saw that? Hydra made you keep tabs on me?"

Raven refused to answer him directly. "Everyone was taking bets in the break room, whether you'd make it or not… I never saw so many men screaming for death before." She noticed his force down the stone in his throat. "I didn't bet," she added, a lozenge for his dry throat.

"Appreciate it," he grumbled.

I'm such shit at this, she thought hanging her head. Telling a man people were rooting for him to die. But he has to know there are people like that out there, another part of her mind chided. They're literally a terrorist organization. Yet his jaw locked with the weight of an axe in a neck. Raven held her words in her throat. Well, this was going to be an awkward arrangement. Never talk to Tony Stark about anything Hydra-related, or he will sulk. At least with her handler they could have candid conversations – no, don't think about Janos. He left you to rot, he messed with your head and turned it all on you. He doesn't deserve your thought.

Yet she pictured him, with his modest, sleek car, with a proper backseat. Not an ostentatious sports car that screamed, bachelor. Realizing how wrong it felt to be in it brought back her godmother's harsh words. He has no time for naughty daughters. What does he plan to do with me if not making me work for Shield? The car isn't even equipped for me. Raven had several , sustainable skills and her wit. What did Tony Stark want with her? It was well past discussing but it just dawned on her. She had no idea what was happening. Her new meds were like a bad internet connection. She was falling behind from real life.

Her mind barely settled when realizing they came to the airport, where Tony's private jet was awaiting them. There was even a hatch opened for his car to be chartered back to New York. The extravagance made her stomach do flip flops. Oh you got to be kidding me. It downright turned itself inside out when he got out to open her car door. With that You-Know-You-Like-Me smile he sported in magazines and interviews. Its artificial origin made distrust grow in her gut like a tumor.

He forgot how lavish his jet came off to other people. Raven was unsure where to sit like a kid abandoned on her first day of school. He beckoned her to sit across from him, where Pepper would usually sit. Once seated she surrendered herself to the chair, letting out a loud sigh. Now came the hard part, the countdown to New York. He was a little jittery about her and Pepper meeting. Raven was a little thing but her silence was mighty, her bruises were war medals. Her features were nearly impossible to distinguish, save for her intense, bottomless stare.

 _How is it going?_ Pepper texted him. _Getting along?_

 _She hasn't spoken much since we left the farmhouse,_ he replied in haste. _I'm not even sure she's breathing. The only indication of life I got is blinking._

 _It can't be that bad. Maybe she's shy._

 _I'm feeling an intense vibe of buyer's regret right now._

 _Tony! She's sixteen and putting her life in the hands of a stranger. You don't have to be friends right away._

Tony tucked his phone away to assess what else he could do to break the tension. How could she stay quiet for so long? Sitting there, doing nothing. Staring vegetatively out the window. Not all at interested in him. He was losing his mind and they barely took off a few minutes ago.

"So," he cleared his throat. "Any plans?"

"Like what?" She mused. Only her mouth moved, her entire body was a store mannequin.

He doesn't get how ridiculous he sounds until he relays his words over to himself. What had he just said? The kid had no plan, that's why she gave him a shot. Despite his blunder, he now had her interest. It didn't help how her eyes rolled toward him, a puppet moving on lax strings. Her full attention was more disarming than her dismissal.

"I mean, you got a new lease on life." If he was going to humiliate himself, might as well bury himself deep. "You must got some things you want to do. Bucket list?"

Her eyebrows raised, perplexed. Her sense of humor isn't a regular thing, he thought. "You got something in mind?" She wondered.

"Me? No. I'm just your friendly guide through newfound freedom."

She nodded and turned back to the window. Tony retreated back to his phone to hide his blunder, and regroup. Raven was going to be one hell of a Rubik's Cube, then again, Steve had to warm up to him too at first. We'll be friends in not time, he assured himself. I might even get another smile out of her.

Pepper put on her best smile when Raven shuffled through the elevator, a robotic, newborn fawn on her boot. She didn't know why she imagined a mini version of Tony. Raven was the opposite of Tony, shrinking and transparent. In sweatpants, militant boots and a tank top, she gave off the aura of a ghost. The only thing linking them was the exhausted expression on her face. Tony made faces like that when he was CEO and she his secretary. Tony had been texting her non-stop at how awkward their flight home was, stifled in silence. He lost all conversation skills around Raven. Pepper was going to try and save their first impressions. Unlike Tony who got right back into action after falling down. Raven looked like she wanted to fall down and stay there.

"You must be Raven," Pepper greeted. She expected an audible response but Raven only nodded taking a hesitant step forward. "Why don't you sit down for a minute?" She suggested.

Raven did as she was told, going over to the nearest couch and sitting down. She lifted her leg up on the couch, letting it stretch out. Once seated she visibly relaxed, less stiff but ever on guard. Pepper glanced at Tony, who's eyes said, I told you. With her duffle bag hanging across his chest Tony intercepted the awkward silence.

"You hungry?" He asked Raven. "We got a stocked fridge."

"I made shrimp scampi," Pepper added. "There's some leftovers if you want -"

"I can't eat that," Raven interrupted. "I'm allergic to shrimp. Deathly allergic."

The Irish accent was as unexpected as her allergy, Tony hadn't mentioned either of them. Childishly she expected a Russian or German accent, like most prolific Hydra members. It was such a mundane detail yet it made her less intimidating. Her strong drawl broke the austere illusion revealing the twitchy teenager. It gave Pepper the courage to keep talking.

"Well, then what you like?"

"I can make something," Raven insisted, voice lowering. "Really."

"Nonsense," Pepper dismissed. "You've had to travel with Tony all day, a long day at that. I have no problem making you a little snack. Besides," she added, "you don't want Tony at the stove."

"Hey," Tony protested, "I can make an omelette… To a reasonably eatable degree."

The repertoire drew a snort from Raven. "You can't cook, seriously?"

Her accent twisted the word into a melodious sound that betrayed her age. Newly sixteen and utterly amused that the genius Tony Stark couldn't conqueror an omelette. It brought back his confidence.

"How about you? Can you cook?"

She scoffed, "Of course I can! I've been cooking since I was ten." Her voice that was started to becoming lively, shrunk back. "I like baking best. Handlers always nagged me about my bad heart and all that… Still baked epic cupcakes though." Her voice faded back to beaten tone she would mostly speak in. A black cloud settled over her head as she politely said, "I'm not so hungry anymore, thanks."

Pepper wouldn't be shooed so easily. "There's yogurt and fruits in the fridge. Along with Tony's health smoothes. When you're hungry, you go help yourself okay? Tomorrow you can let me know what you like to eat, and we'll get it." Hovering on the couch's edge beside her, she added, "How about me and Tony show you to your room and you can go straight to bed?"

Whatever approach Pepper thought out, it worked well with Raven. Maybe I'm trying too hard, Tony thought as Pepper ushered Raven to her room. It was a large room; queen sized bed, with a headboard and two nightstands, a vanity, a walk-in closet and personal bathroom. He designed it to be a last resort guest room. Raven could live in this room if she started storing food in here or requested a mini fridge. But like all the rooms in the Tower, one side of the room was nothing but a huge window. It wasn't the best view in the Tower, but it was impressive.

Setting the duffle bag on the floor of the bed, Tony drew her attention to the view. She noticed it like an intruder. "Don't worry, no one on the outside can look in. And," he pointed up, "just let Friday know if you want to block the sun out. She'll help you out with stuff like that."

"Friday?" She echoed.

"The AI," he explained. "Say hi Friday!"

"A pleasure to meet you Miss Raven," Friday spoke. "Feel free to speak to me anytime. I can control almost everything in the house."

Raven looked up expecting something to fall through the roof. She muttered a rough, thanks, before resigning to sit on the bed. "She's Irish," she grumbled, almost disapproving.

"You're right!" Tony hadn't made the connection. Now that he thought about it, they didn't sound so similar. Raven's brogue had more personality, it thickened when she was annoyed. He had to remember that too. "Huh, I've got two Irish girls around the place."

"… Right." Her voice buzzed in her chest like a hornets' nest.

Pepper grabbed his by the arm, "How about we let Raven unpack and unwind?" She flashed her nothing-to-see-here smile. "Raven, there are some spare clothes in the closet and the bathroom has everything you should need, okay?"

She bobbed her head and Pepper hustled Tony out the room. Once behind a closed door she looked at him with a broiling glare. "Well, that could have gone better…" She remarked holding her forehead. "So, we've unofficially adopted a teenager."

Tony scratched his jaw, "Well, like I told Natasha, Hydra's pretty obsessed with me." He stared at the door, struggling to see past it. "She'll open up in a few days," he wishfully muttered."Probably got jet lag to boot."

Raven didn't have much, this duffle bag was a fraction of her possessions. What people didn't know was that she managed to prep this bag before her imprisonment. There were other duffles with Super Mario themed keychains. Some were important and the majority were decoys, designed to self-destruct if certain items were hacked or tampered with. Raven was at her best in doomsday mode. To the cameras Tony failed to mention – she knew they were active and recording – all she had was a sketchbook, a pencil case, three books, a tablet, her iPod, reading glasses, her pill dispenser, daily necessities, emergency tampons and panty liners. There was no way the AI could track her without cameras and Tony would be thick for not having some security in this fortress.

She doubted anyone listed her posessions as meticulous as herself, but she liked being safe. In a matter of weeks – by the time she healed – no collective would recall these items accurately. Being discovered like roadkill helped immensely. Everyone were so enthralled with her scarred, battered body, they disregarded her duffle bag. Even Tony carried with as much priority as a college girl would a clutch. She did her best not to acknowledge the bag once, in case he was compelled to fidget with it. With his skilled hands, he may have noticed the inconsistencies along the material. What she stashed in between the additional layers she fashioned. What luck her hands were tough like a mason's. And of course, she was feverishly ensuring her escape from Hydra one day.

I hope I get to regroup before Hydra figures out where I am, she thought heading into the bathroom. That reminded her, Janos was going to be livid Tony found her. He may get nasty about it. The inevitable event made her groan tiredly to herself. Round two was going to be a street brawl with nuclear weapons. And she wasn't even considering Shield's reaction to her minor omissions and false tracks. Might as well enjoy the calm before the storm.

* * *

 **Okay so you get a decent sized chapter this time. But I do promise to give more super long chapters, like the last one. I just wanted to finally get Raven in the Tower after dragging it out for so long. As always review and tell what you think. It helps me make the story better each chapter and I get to know how you like it so far (or hate lol). Until next time.**

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	6. Chapter 6

_**Chapter 6**_

It felt like she'd wake up back in the bunker, the moment sleep stole her. Cold, without any way to track the days. Recovering some beating or brainwashing techniques in between the endless hours. Going mad inside the halls of her mind. Sleep was impossible the first few days at Avengers Tower. Everything was so restful compared to Raven's memories, haunting symphonies filling the silence. No matter how often she retreated to her iPod, danger seemed around the corner. It was all so paper thin, at any moment she'd hear her handler's voice reciting her duties. Or she'd be tied down in the operating table strung out from the sedatives and borderline starvation tactics. She tossed and turned in her comfy new bed, the phantom sensation of needles and straps waking her. It didn't take long for it to show.

"Raven? What happened to you?" Tony inquired at the breakfast table.

She thought being outside her room might help, it did not. The Tower was more of a lavish venue than a house. Too many stairs and platforms to be practical, and various rooms. Some she already guessed were labs and workshops. All it did was remind how exposed she was, a crack on crystal dinnerware. Two weeks and two days out of Hydra and she was already unraveling. Usually Raven never let anything shake her. She had walked through fire and had blood on her hands on numerous occasions. This time however, she felt peeled to her soul.

"Huh?" She hummed. "I wasn't listening."

Tony glanced at Pepper who was all ready to head to work. To Raven's sleep deprived senses her white suit was blinding like the sun. Wasn't she late? Or was Raven getting ahead of herself? Tony and Pepper had a pleasant routine that automatically memorized. She didn't want to unsettle their daily lives too much.

"What happened to you? You look like you haven't slept at all." He sat down near Pepper, staring across the table at Raven.

Words fell out her mouth like marbles. "Rough patch," she mumbled. "It's been a while since I've started a day with ten percent of my daily pill intake."

"Pill intake?" Pepper set down her coffee, attention set and locked. "How much pills were you taking at Hydra?"

"Waking, sleeping, some for my shakes, my fits and vitamins to counteract the side effects of the former. Oh, and my heart... In the bunker they kinda just cut me off but gave me the intense stuff straight up… Like detoxing and overdosing simultaneously."

She thought back to the blue pill dispenser Janos gave her. Thinking about him made her sullen mood plummet into an abyss. After all she'd been through and done, she missed him. His serene presence and cooking. He always had a way to make healthy food taste like the greasiest guilty pleasure. Too bad like everything at Hydra, he was as evil as he was kind. Which made him absolutely wonderful at the worse times. He left her to die in that bunker. Raven saw his face clearly when he came into the room, offering a thorny olive branch. She was too dehydrated to spit in his face but not enough to cry when he left.

When Hydra suspected her heart would fail, he was there to make it less frightening. Janos was the one who took her hand and led her into that operating room. The white room where they forcibly removed her heart and gave her a new one. All because the risk of her own heart failing was too high for them to risk the wait. They found a healthy donor, they saw no point delaying the inevitable. She always hated hospitals since her mother died but he made her brave. Janos had this bizarre talent of getting her to be precisely what he needed her to be in that moment. Praising her as if it had been inside her all along when it was all over. The transplant had been no different despite her knowing something was very, very wrong.

It all started with a tree at his house outside of Ireland. She watched it eagerly waiting for the snow to leave, so she could climb it. When spring came she woke up one morning excited like Christmas morning. Climbing trees was her favorite thing to do. Seeing how high her body could nest in the branches. She got to the top speedy like a squirrel, it hadn't occurred to her how she had strained. She was so happy to have such a large tree to climb. Up, up, up she went until suddenly, it was hard to breathe and she was coughing. It was so hard to hold on and fight her coughing. Everything went black and she fell. Her heart almost failed, and she broke her arm. They all swore she died, Janos was furious and bereaved. They decided to remove it all together knowing the next failure might kill her. He made it seem so _logical,_ to remove the offending limb. Later, it became clear that Hydra would remove anything that endangered the life span of her precious mind.

Raven had no clue what her heart medication was supposed to look like, when she was eight. So she took what they gave her. Knowing how unstable she was, judging how often Hydra and normal people told her so – you've been through so much, you poor dear – she accepted the ones that followed. Now she knew little kids weren't supposed to get pills, they went to therapy and talked it out instead. Drawing stupid trees and self portraits to give honest insight. That's why she had three different therapists before Hydra kidnapped her. If only she knew earlier.

Pepper's voice interrupted her blurry memories. "Raven what did you mean by shakes?"

The shakes were a result of the first horrible thing she saw in Hydra. The memory set a shudder down her spin to her toes. A man strapped down with restraints, twitching in fear at what was to come. His smothered scream, the sound of that machine on his head. That's when it all became clear, what Hydra and Janos expected of her.

The shakes followed soon afterward. Some identified it as a form of stress, but they were Hydra therapists. She never trusted them. Her hand only shook when she was idle, when no one was around to see it. When she worked, her hands were steady like surgeons'. Never trembling despite the horror of what laid before her, because if she failed the consequences left dire butterfly effects. Having no other way to articulate this, she raised her hand from her lap to show them. Although she was safe and retired, her hand twitched sporadically.

"Woah," Tony remarked. "How long has it been doing that?"

"Seven and half years give or take." She lowered it to her lap. "I'm used to it but the pills took the edge off." There was no point in lying, she'd deteriorate further and further each week. Hydra designed it that way, tokeep her shackled to them. The difference with the farm and here was she kept up the front, unsure of her next destination. At the Tower, her final stop until she was eighteen at least, she was at a dead end.

"I'll work from the office here today," Pepper declared. "You need -"

"No no no no," Raven waved her hand. "You don't need to do that." The last strike she needed against her was throwing them off their schedule. She hated causing unnecessary troubles. "I'll just binge watch a show or something. Something good must have come out while I was locked up." She couldn't even fake a smile.

"You're sick," Pepper insisted. "Me and Tony agreed to take care of you and we will. Besides," she added mostly to Tony, "I haven't taken a sick day in forever."

"I don't need a nanny," Raven argued. "I've been living on my own since I was ten. I just need to know where shit is and I'll be fine."

Pepper set her things down on the table, a gesture of finality. "You aren't feeling well and Tony needs help taking care of you. And don't say you don't need some help," she added to Tony. "Now eat something while Tony gets a doctor."

"A doctor?" Raven squeaked.

Doctors were the constant, interchangeable blur in the background of her darkest memories. Ominous figures in white coats and condescending stares, dictating facts like prison sentences. Now as a living, raw nerve she couldn't contain her fear to save face. At that makeshift Shield hideout she was too out of it to react, still miles away back in the bunker. Without the distraction she thought of the callous doctor that craned her up by neck barely a week after her mother died. Twisting her around like a stubborn toy to assess her bruises. Ignoring her whimpering cries, as he jotted down mindless notes for the police report.

She hated being on display for anyone, eyes running along her body; judging, scrutinizing, and scheming. They saw her problems like needed computer system updates; add this, replace that, delete this, put back that. A science project. A protective shell nesting her treasured brain. She thought back to the Hydra surgeon who performed her heart transplant. Her unfeeling eyes, clothed in blinding light looking more like a grim reaper than a celestial welcomer. With her glinting scalpel and those shrouded faces standing at her sides, looking down at her.

Janos was there, in the other room, speaking to her through an intercom. "It's going to be alright Raven. I'm right here." His soothing, Hungarian voice did the opposite, it made her heart gallop. This was happening. This was really happening. "Raven," he tutted, "there's nothing to be afraid of. You'll be asleep and when you wake up I'll be beside you."

"But I'm not sick," she protested, starting to cry.

"Your heart is sick, and to make you healthier, we need to fix it." He said, "Your heart has a hole in it, and it's getting bigger. We're going to fix it in case it gets worse. Don't you want to be healthy Raven? So you can run in the garden and climb trees?"

"I'm scared!"

He let out a chuckle, "There's nothing to be afraid of when I'm here."

Liar, was Raven's last thought when she fainted dead away back in the present. Luckily Tony saw the look in her eye just before it rolled up, and caught her the moment she tottered. He had no idea how light she was, her skin was like paper stretched over her bones. Holding her felt foreign, like cradling a bomb. Not as weird as her fainting out of the blue, that was a close second. He couldn't wait for her to come to, so they silently opted to move her to the couch. Tony gathered Raven into his arms while Pepper supported her leg. Setting her on the couch, stretched out, Tony and Pepper stood at Raven's side.

"Which do you think it was, sleep depravation in the bedroom or panic attack in the kitchen?" Quipped Tony

"Be serious," she breathlessly chided. "Neither scenario is good right now!"

"Well, I say we let her wake up on her own. God knows any sleep is good sleep." He sat down on the couch's arm, near her broken leg. "The heaviest thing about her was the boot," he mumbled.

"I know," she agreed fretfully. "Did the Shield physicians mention her being underweight? Because if she is we should tell the doctor so Raven doesn't..."

"Short circuit?" He offered. Pepper winced at his joke. "What? The kid literally shut down like pulling a plug on a desktop PC. And yeah Clint mentioned it offhandedly, along with PTSD and blanking out when she's panicking."

Pepper held her head, "So we're taking care of a teenager who has anxiety issues, PTSD, zones out during panic attacks, battles insomnia and is possibly underweight with a broken leg and ribs."

"Don't forget the heart condition. Damn," he noted, "she's the epitome of a problem child."

"Reminds me of you," Pepper mused. "Survived in a cave in Afghanistan for six months, and flew out of there in a bulky Iron Man suit."

Tony held a brief smile. "She survived in Hydra for ten years and blew up the base that was holding her hostage. Less classy but effective."

He was about to say more when something caught his eye, her cluster of charms. The first four were nothing special; an oval locket, a silver cross, a puzzle piece and a treble clef note. The last one caught his interest, rose gold a horseshoe. It wasn't until he twirled it around his ring finger he recognized it. He bought it over sixteen years ago. Vivian's pendant, the one thing she asked him to buy for her. His breath hitched in throat, as Pepper peered over his shoulder.

"I bought her mother this," he said. "Look," he flipped it over, "still has the enscription, To V from T, on it."

"It's the least ostentatious thing I've seen you buy for a woman," she dryly teased. What else could she say? He was a different man back then.

Tony misread her tone, lost in the dusty memory. "She wanted it and I bought it for her. She said it was something she always wanted – For the life of me I can't remember why," he rubbed his forehead. "I just thought it was hilarious. Of all the things she could squeeze out of me, she wanted a little horseshoe pendant."

Hearing the flicker of regret in his voice she kissed his cheek. Tony wanted to remember Raven's mother, for Raven's sake. How could be a successful parent if he barely recalled the person he made a child with? Pepper would have pressed him further on the subject, soothing the clench in his face. But she didn't want to gamble on Raven accidentally waking up. She changed the subject, to another one of Raven's pendants. "That's unique," she ran her nail over the jigsaw piece. "Do you think these were all the pendants she owned?"

"Yeah," he nodded, happy to talk about anything else. "I wonder where the it belongs."

Raven woke up in a chair when her eyes closed. It was her desk, in the house she lived with in Hungary with Janos. Wide and wooden, possibly antique like most of the furniture in the chateau. Everything was where she left it. Her stress toys, markers, notebooks and pens, along with a steaming mug of tea. Her mug, burnt red with a grey cartoon cat winking at her. Had the Tower been a dream? Her heart fluttered while she exhaled gratefully. Nothing had changed, yet something was wrong. She looked down at what she was doing at her desk. The moleskin was blank, her fountain pen bleeding black on one side of the book.

"Shite," she swore lifting the pen away. "Dammit!" Well the book was ruined. Dream or not, she was annoyed. She rubbed her forehead, forgetting it was stained with fresh black ink. Swearing more colorfully to herself she searched for a tissue. "C'mon, you got to be kidding me."

"What did you do to yourself?" Someone came in through the door, giggling at what they found. "Can't leave you alone for two minutes."

Her heart pounded, feverish and aching. This had to dream. Raven was sure, she was rarely in Janos' house. If ever. Yet, Raven begged her mind to wake, if this was a dream. Let me stay here a little longer. Let me be disassociating. Whatever it takes to let be stay here.

"Eun Gi?" Raven was afraid to speak. Her voice could break reality and she'd wake up. "Is that really you?" Her best friend, her everything. Just seeing her made her problems less important. Smirking like the world around them never regularly caught flame, threatening the detonate.

"Eh? Why are you talking like that? We're alone…" She came over to her, pinching her cheek. "I told you to call me jagiya, when it's just us." Her smile was pure wickedness, as she pulled Raven close. "Or Yeo-chin," she added with a laugh.

"I forgot," Raven melted against her shoulder. "Sorry."

"What's wrong? You're acting like you haven't seen me in years." She pulled Raven's face up. Thumbs massaged her jaw, trying to secret answers from them. "What's wrong Raven? You can tell me."

She was going to explain what she now believed was the dream, when she noticed Eun Gi's shoulder. There was smudged blood on it. But I'm not bleeding. She touched her face, to prove the evidence wrong only to find warm liquid. It ran down her neck like it was raining down. I'm dreaming, this is the dream.

"No," she moaned pulling away from Eun Gi.

"Did you forget your medicine again?" Her voice distantly scolded. "Is that why you're acting weird? You should have told me…"

She barely heard her because the room was faded away. A backdrop to where she really was, the bunker. With Janos, sitting down, waiting for her. Leg folded the other, hand drumming on his chair arm. No one believed the well dressed man fought like a titan but Raven knew his fury. That beast behind the tailored suit, his monstrous roar and fearsome claws. He smiled in the poorly lit room, a literal devil in her personal hell.

"Welcome back Raven. I've missed you."

* * *

 **So what do you think? Too dark or could I be darker?**

 **As always let me know what you think and any feedback is good feedback.**

 **Oh, and for the person who asked about Jarvis in the reviews - This fic takes places after Age of Ultron (but I've tweaked the details I didn't care for in that canon.) and somewhere in the Civil War timeline. (Meaning Tony and Steve are not so friendly at the moment. But of course not as intense, but yeah the elements of that part of MCU will be mentioned.) Plus the other Avengers will be making appearances.**

 **If anyone has a question or query, I'll answer it down here in the next chapter or clean up my act.**

 **Note: Any information I mention in this story I've found on the internet (e.g. Google Translate), if I make any mistakes let me know. And I'll correct it.**


	7. Chapter 7

_**Chapter 7**_

Other than her obvious psychological problems, Raven was a withdrawn girl. Tony understood she wouldn't be starting any conversations, but her constant silence was eerie. Maybe it was because Bruce was still M.I.A., he missed having company. A voice other than his own. Jarvis was now the Vision, and Friday was a poor substitute. He would have liked to talk to her, try and bond a little. It was impossible when she seemed perfectly at peace by herself. For hours on end she sat on the couch watching Netflix and tv in general; movies, series and documentaries. Along with making origami figures. For the first few days, he found paper figurines everywhere. Stars, butterflies, boats, cranes and boxes. Raven started decorating her room with the ones she drew finite patterns on with her fine tip markers. He figured it was relaxing, folding and creasing.

Tony shamefully stalked her. Peeping around corners and over banisters to see what she watched was nearly as informative as talking to her. She loved Korean television, without subtitles. K-Dramas, concerts, music videos and variety shows were her favorite things to watch. Her hands never shook when she sat through hours of historical dramas, musicals, foreign films and series. When she wasn't doing that she cooked, when she drew and sometimes when she read on her tablet. There were also moments he heard her singing to herself, like passing breeze.

Once she started getting better and more comfortable with her boot, she became more elusive. Without the clicking of her crutches and awkward shuffles Raven came and went like a phantom. One minute she was on the couch, the next she was in the kitchen making a sandwich. They stalked the fridge with miscellaneous snacks hoping to encourage her to put on a little weight. It was weird having junk food in the house, especially since he was rather health conscious. He wasn't tempted to eat it. He was baffled at how Raven with her bad heart devoured them. The girl ate like a linebacker, yet barely tipped the hundred pound mark. And she ate in secret. Several times he spied her out in shadowed crevices munching like a guilty mouse. Did Hydra do that to her? Make her ashamed to eat? As if everything else wasn't traumatizing enough.

"We don't you eat with me today?" He declared seeing her about to slip into the kitchen. Another convenient thing about Raven was her never-failing internal schedule. "Before the doctor shows up."

"Wha?" She mumbled. He started mentally referring to her quirks as Ravenisims. This was her most common one, her gaping stare whenever someone started talking to her. Stalling like someone drew a gun on her.

"Remember, the doctor's coming today to look at your ribs and leg. Plus a general checkup, told you yesterday." It took a moment, but she nodded, remembering he indeed told her that. After her fainting episode he and Pepper agreed to delay the visit for a while. Let it settle in so Raven would feel more comfortable. "So let's have lunch, before he shows up – What?" He exclaimed at her puzzled frown. "I'd like the company."

Her eyes darted around, another Ravenisim. She did this before making a decision, doing invisible equations and statistics. Tony threw another variable her way to help the outcome. "Pepper left some lasagna in the fridge, we can heat it up and eat it."

He learned she was a sucker for anything with tomatoes in it. She binged on ketchup, pizza, tomato soup, and dressed her pasta with sun dried tomatoes. Raven couldn't refuse a quick meal ticket with her favorite condiment. Her answer was obvious before she gave in, all part of the plan. With Raven roped in with the promise of lasagna, this was the perfect opportunity to speak to her. They were confined to the table, trapped in close proximity. One of them had to break the silence before the last bite of lasagna.

"So," Tony cleared his throat, "any plans once the boot's off in two weeks time? Or you more of an indoors type of girl?"

Raven lifted her head, cheek bloated with food. Clearing her mouth she mumbled, "Dunno, I mean, would I even be allowed to go outside?"

"What do you mean allowed?" Tony questioned.

"Well, to Hydra I'm probably dead or in a cell somewhere, if someone didn't get away and snitch on me. And no one expects to see a teenager coming and going from this eyesore. If I do it'll will raise questions." She added matter-of-factly, "It all depends on what you and Shield plan to do with me, I guess."

Tony took a long sip of his health shake. She listed her life like multiple choice answers. To the point, logical and without prejuidice. He hadn't thought that far ahead, beyond announcing slyly that he suddenly had a daughter. It was expected Hydra would back off and Raven would do whatever she wanted to do. She on the other hand had all the scenarios and their many outcomes, extensively brain mapped. Each effect paired with its cause.

"Well when you put it like that," he grumbled. "You make it sound like you're prisoner."

It was meant to be a joke, to lighten the mood. Raven saw it as fact, nothing to cry over. "It'll always feel that way I guess. Clipped wings, waiting for the majority to feel comfortable with me and all."

His appetite was dwindled with each tired statement. He wanted to do right by her but in Raven's eyes he was no better than anyone else. It soured his hopeful mood. "Same situations just different faces, huh?"

She nodded, suddenly brighter. Maybe because he feigned understanding. "Definitely. I've been through a scenario at least twice, with varying details. An event, a person or the place, but in the end it's all the same."

She lived every horrible thing in her life twice? He tried not to think about what horrible things she might have lived through. She was talking at last, Tony just wished it was another subject. "Even this? Being holed up somewhere?"

"Oh yeah! I was banged up too – for gross insubordination, or whatever you want to compare it to." She hummed thoughtfully. "I was in this hospital in Budapest, for ages before they let me out. There were no windows and it was soundproof, it got so quiet I could hear my organs making noises." Her voice became darkly whimsical, "The beating of my heart, the growling on my stomach, the sound of myself breathing. I even had a wheeze for thirteen days. I had a cold because there was shitty ventilation. Did you know I can tell a bronchitis wheeze from asthmatic one? It's all in the lungs."

Tony stalled his answer with a forkful of food. All he got from that was story was, her round of torture wasn't her first. It was all his mind repeated as she spoke. They locked her up in makeshift solitary and left her there injured for god knows how long. His gut twisted making it hard to swallow his food without puking.

"How old were you?" He asked.

"I think I was twelve going on thirteen. Yeah, around there," she mused. "I turned thirteen around the time all was forgiven." She looked his way and ducked her eyes, "I said too much."

"No it's fine," he feebly lied.

"I'm just not used to people asking me things," she murmured. "I talk a lot, so people don't risk talking to me often."

Now that just broke his heart. The kid was chatty? He couldn't picture it. Raven was so unsure of herself with each step. "Oh yeah, what do you like to talk about?"

Immediately she blushed, "Uh, stuff, mostly books. I like this author Maggie Stiefvater, and this series The Raven Cycle."

"A bookworm huh?" He smiled. "I'm gonna have to buy you a bookshelf."

She grinned, revealing her age. Eyes bright and welcoming. He started noticing little things around her, in that fleeting sight. Her teeth weren't perfectly straight and the wider she smiled, the younger she looked. Tony believed when she was a kid, she had those toothy grins that were only adorable in childhood. Most of her freckles were on her nose, disguised beside her pores. They fanned out along her cheek bones. They helped hide a scar of her left cheek, a straight, small, straight line. Raven often covered it up with a well-placed hand or her hair when someone stood close. Another scar was hidden in her hairline, jagged and on a slant.

This was the conversation he wanted to have, and Tony dived head first into it. She talked about her three all-time favorite books; Frankenstein, The Crow and The Dream Thieves. She rambled on and on how awesome Mary Shelley was, and revolutionary she was to science fiction. Although she adored Sylvia Plath and Virginia Woolf equally. People just don't understand how badass classic women writers were, they had less than women have today. Sure they were flawed but who isn't. This was the most alive he saw Raven. Keeping eye contact, feverishly gesturing like she wanted to jump on the table and declare her admiration. She ranted about this underground graphic novel called The Crow about a man who came back from the dead to avenge his girlfriend's death. The author tried to make it a series which flopped like the movie sequels. But she wasn't nearly as frantic like when she talked The Dream Thieves.

"I had re-read the book three times before I spotted it," she whistled. "I mean it's so adorable how Ronan is so gaga for Adam, and that Stiefvater isn't rushing into it. I just can't believe I never saw it coming!"

Tony chortled, "Don't feel like much of a genius huh?"

"I hate that word," grumbled Raven, abruptly sullen. "If I was so smart, my life would be the opposite of what it is now."

"Which is?" Asked Tony. He didn't want her to stop talking although the subject was about to get grim. Raven talking was a feat he wanted to capitalize on.

She scoffed, "Not alive at all… Or at least a hell lot better than it is now."

"You want to die that badly?" He could guess a million reasons Raven might want to end her life. He just didn't know what to pick. Hydra was the embodiment of hell. Being the golden child couldn't have always protected her. It kept her around but she was a china doll in the bullpen.

"It's not a question that I want to. It's best." She scratched her scabbed over lip. "There's only a handful of events I personally impact. Other than that I don't enhance or hinder anyone. So simply put, being dead benefits me more than being alive. I suffer less, worry less and can finally get some sleep."

Tony's mouth went dry, there was nothing to say. Raven wanted off the crazy ride called life. Depression wasn't motivating her to beg for death, it was rational thinking. The world doesn't need me. I serve no purpose other than extra crowding on the chessboard. I rather not see this to the end and sleep in. Fury thought Raven's request was some desperate cry for help, someone in need of saving. When actually, she was asking with a last ounce of patience, for someone to stop the ride before the drop into phase two of insanity.

Even more jarring, she wasn't bothered by her statement. It was well-thought out, calculated and a decided choice. She was only answering his question like small talk. His stomach flopped as he hid face, pretending to drink his shake. He got his wish to peer inside her head, but he was now terrified to look deeper. The therapists he had lined up were going to need heavy reevaluating.

"Mr. Stark?"

The doctor's arrival came as a relief. He glanced to Raven who's mood took around wild turn. Her chewing slowed down, to a methodical rotation of her jaw. Each corner and joint jutting out like a spiked wheel. The doctor came into the penthouse through the elevator doors. Tony rose from his chair, a little too eager to meet him. While he wiped his face unnecessarily with a napkin Raven stood her ground, eating. Her wild hair fell over her shoulders and when she turned her head down, it covered her face entirely. She wasn't pleased at all. Tony recognized a silent, I hate you, anywhere.

"Doc!" He shook his hand. "Is it bad we ate before you came?"

"Oh no, it's fine. Once miss..."

"Raven," Tony supplied.

"Right. Raven, is done and I've set up we can begin. So you're happy to continue eating if -"

"At least let me show you where to set up," Tony insisted.

He was incapable of faking his appetite further. Raven, like a vulture, sensed it. Because in the corner of his eye, as he led their guest to an examination room, she stole trimmings off his plate. It was almost cute. Someone so frightening still very much a child at heart. It gave him hope that maybe Hydra didn't get seep into every part of her.

"So Raven…" The doctor addressed her with a little too much friendliness. Similar to the therapists she had in Ireland, trying to influence her mood to make her cooperative. "I'll try and make this checkup quick, okay?" His smile irked her, because he knew she was uncomfortable. And by attempting to defuse her tension, he made it much worse. Was this her life now? Prickly pleasantries and stretched out glasgow smiles?

"Okay," she muttered.

As he pulled out a notebook Raven noticed Tony tidying up their finished lunch, disappearing into the kitchen. Old habits calculated how long he might take, loading them into the dishwasher or actually washing them. Along with what she could do in that time; steal something, intimidate the doctor or concoct a brilliant lie. Many times people purposely left her alone with unsavory people. Whether for training or to talk, only to come back when the damage was done.

"I've reviewed some of the drugs you were taking at Hydra. Do you remember the side effects? If you had any?"

With Tony still occupied she casually listed, "Insomnia, lack of appetite, headaches, dissociation – although I had a period of dissociation when I was nine and ten. My pills kinda ran together and cancelled each other sometimes."

"Are you saying you took pills for one thing and the other's side effect was the ailment?"

Raven nodded. "On a lesser scale but yes. They were more like balancers than quelling anything," she mused. "The only thing that did its job properly were my heart pills."

He made furious notes. "I see." His smile also vanished. "Were you aware of this, what the pills were doing to your body?"

"Not until recently – I went to the base physician and I can't remember what happened after that. Apparently I dissociated and killed him." Raven had been trying to see which pills she didn't have to take. For the first time she felt confident enough to shed some of her crutches. What she didn't know was Hydra needed her on them to see things their way. Once she caught on, she vaguely recalled screaming into the pillow of her cot. The next conscious memory was blood on her hands. "I just blacked out," she added aloud. "For several hours."

The doctor's pen froze, his wide eyes were locked on Raven. A deer now seeing the wolf behind the bush. Raven only blinked, not at all bothered by her confession. If she was going to be med-free for a while, she'd like to know if her dissociation was linked to violence. For obvious reasons.

"I see," he wheezed. "Does that happen often? Hurting people and not remembering?"

"No," she said definitely. "I'm very aware and present if I chose to hurt someone. I don't like being excessive."

"Okay," he made a heavy-handed note. "That's good..."

"Are you afraid I'm going to hurt you?" She wondered. "Because I'm not, in case you're worried about that."

His shoulders went rigid. "I never thought you were going to hurt me."

"You almost swallowed your tongue when I told you I killed my last doctor. But it's fine," she assured, "I'm used to people being jumpy around me. I'd be nicer to you if you at least admitted it."

His face went from slack shock to coiled astonishment. A sense of victory fluttered in her heart, she hadn't lost all her bite. Good. Because she knew once Hydra caught wind of her new residence, they might try one last snatch at her. She couldn't rest until they understood she was untouchable to them. Shield and the selected few who knew, all thought this was over but Raven knew better. Janos would try, at least one more time, to get her back to Hydra. It wasn't time to relax yet.

Although she ensnared the doctor, he was reluctant to address it. "Well – I think we should lay off any psychosis medication for now until you've had a psychological evaluation. Just to be safe."

That meant therapy. Raven ground her teeth, saying nothing. So Tony was getting a team of physicians and psychologists ready for her rehabilitation. Just like old times, she thought. Some things were inescapable. Nothing changes but the faces in her routine.

"So is that it?" She wondered.

"No, we're going to do a routine checkup next; blood pressure, any vaccinations you might have missed, how your other injuries are holding up. If you need any extra care." He set down his notebook, "So if you don't mind, I need to see your shoulder."

Extra care? She thought, that was definitely new.

Pepper got her some clothes before she arrived to the Tower, which was nice. Although they were neutral, simple shirts, bottoms and underwear. Most days she wore sweatpants, loose shorts that fell to her knee and t-shirts or tank tops. Knowing the doctor was coming today she wore a tank top, using only one strap. So he could peel away her bandage with ease. And he did so with relative care, as Tony finally rejoined them. He did more than wash the dishes, she suspected.

"How's the shoulder?" He asked her.

"Doesn't hurt as much," she mused.

"It's to be expected," the doctor told Tony. "Second degree burns attack the surface of the skin. But lucky for Raven here, she just needs to wear the bandage and rub her antibiotic ointment on it, for another week." He studied her blistered shoulder, "I believe in a week the remaining blisters would have disappeared."

Raven twisted her neck to see for herself. She frowned at her arm, "It's gonna scar," she lamented.

"No necessarily," the doctor tried to explain. "Just some minor discoloration, which might revert to your normal tone in no time."

"It won't look that bad," Tony agreed. "You can pass it off as a beauty mark."

Raven shot Tony a murderous scowl, "A beauty mark? A beauty mark," she repeated much slower.

Her body had enough scars for a lifetime, and not all of them were visible. To have another ugly reminder of what Hydra stole for her. No one would ever get close to her without seeing her ugly past, a story of scars forever etched onto her. It would follow her until her last breath, a small victory for Hydra. That despite getting away they got their way. She belonged to them, her life was theirs. To haunt and torment, for not going their bidding. Tony's ludicrous remark drove to get up from the table she sat on. With an angry hiss she pushed passed the both of them, daring them to stop her.

"I'm done," she announced. If anyone physically stopped her, she was ready to claw their eyes out.

"Hey Raven," Tony tried to placate her. "What's -"

"You should let me bandage that up at least," the doctor interjected.

"I can do it myself, with the first aid kit in my bathroom," she snapped. "I don't need your help."

With that she stomped up to her room, doing exactly that. Cutting the gauze bandage in a perfect rectangle and the medical tape strips. Squeezing a pebble sized portion of ointment on her fingers and rubbing it against her skin. It didn't matter if it hurt, she welcomed anything that gave her an excuse to cry. And sure enough once the ointment vanished, her knees buckled and she wept. She didn't have as much scars as other people, but she felt like a monster thinking about her own. The burns, broken bones and cuts, Hydra just kept taking and taking. Although she was temporarily free, it felt too late. The damage was done and etched in her skin.

Absentmindedly as she touched her face. She was starting to look like herself again, which meant another scar was visible. Under her left eye a tiny scar, no bigger than a tear tattoo, blended in with her freckles. Touching the numb mar made her left eye twitch in memory and she held her face tightly. She tasted the phantom blood and steel like her fresh, salty tears. It had been a long time since she cried about anything. A year? A whole year without crying. Suddenly everything came crashing down on her. Leaving her shallow excuse of a home. The cheap cardboard cut off of a paternal figure. Her friends, and the people she cared about, Eun Gi. She gotten used to holding affection for the people in her life, who hurt her and others. They were all she had and now they were gone. Once they heard she was in Shield, with Tony Stark of all people, she may end up with no one. Muddling through life with no one who understood her. Playing a role that wasn't her, until the world forgot her again.

She cried harder. I always lose, I always lose. While my body keeps score.

"I think I messed up."

Pepper moaned. The second she came through the door, Tony was awaiting her red handed and remorseful. She felt anxious leaving him alone with Raven for the doctor's visit. The last time they mentioned a doctor, Raven fainted and they put off the visit for a few days. Now hours later, everything fell apart. She sat down on the couch beside him.

"What did you do?"

"During the checkup," he explained, "she was freaking out about her burn leaving a scar. The doctor said it would fade, but she didn't believe him. I said it could be a beauty mark, and she stormed off. She hasn't been out her room since."

She tried her best not to slap her hand to her face. Out of all the things that could wrong this was minor. It was still a mistake but thankfully one they could deal with. "You definitely messed up," she told him. "Did you consider for a moment that she might be self-conscious about how she looks? With the other scars she already has?"

Tony thought back to what Natasha told him. "Yeah but it's probably nothing a little cosmetic laser treatment can't fix."

"She's still a girl. We don't know her enough to say she shouldn't have little insecurities – Has she really not come out her room?"

He shook his head, "I tried talking to her, but she isn't biting." He ran his fingers roughly through his hair. "I don't get Raven at all. I leave her alone, she admits to killing a doctor at Hydra because she found out they were trying to get her addicted to some pill cocktail. I come back, she gets emotional about having a scar – a scar no one will see unless it's summer. Night and day have more in common than her mood swings."

"Wait, wait, she did what?" Pepper did a double take. "What was that middle part?"

"Yeah," he winced. "It's a possible side effect when you mix heavy duty pills together. Psychotic breaks, is the technical term. Raven's wires got all crossed up and she just short circuited and killed someone." He rubbed the space between his eyes, "Which narrows our search for a therapist at least. A pathetic silver lining, but there you go. Hydra wasn't just training her to takeover they were coercing her to want it, with drugs.

Modern brainwashing," he summarized. "The Raven we've been living with for the past month, might not even be the real Raven. The Real Raven could be buried under the fog Hydra threw her in." He took a deep breath. "Her freaking about the burn scar was the most normal thing she's done, but I don't know how to value it. Was that Raven breaking out the fog? Or just some static from off the pills?"

* * *

 **Hello again! So first things first, Happy Holidays/Christmas. I hope you guys are enjoying the story so far. As always let me know what you think and any critiques you have. I love hearing from you guys, and what you think about the chapter and so on.**

 **Anyways enough of me rambling. See you next year!**

 **Anotherscribe**


	8. Chapter 8

_**Chapter 8**_

Almost two months away from Hydra and Raven smelt the smoke. It didn't take much, Tony was driving her to her therapy session and despite his tinted windows, she felt watched. Logic told her it was the lack of medication, the fever of her twitching hand going to her brain. Paranoia was a prime symptom of PTSD, she had it for years. The eternal dread, the panic of someone lurking around the corner. Her skin itched from imaginary eyes, burning from unseen scopes training on her skull. There was no way Hydra was going to let her go. Not without making her suffer, one last time. Again logic told her Tony wouldn't be so callous to endanger her life. Not even to, per se capture more Hydra operatives. But she couldn't shake this utter wrongness around her.

"You okay?"

"What?" She squeaked. "What?"

"You're a bit... twitchier than normal." He parked the car off the stream of traffic. Concern brought lines to his face. "Hey kid," he reached to grab her hands, only to find them trembling furiously. "Goddamn..." He whistled in disbelief.

Raven couldn't even muster a retort. She just wanted to go back to her room. Something bad was going to happen today. She knew it, she knew it, she knew it. With a soft moan she let her head droop against the window. "I think I'm going to throw up."

Tony, in his usual way, tried to make her feel better using his worse method. "It's not going to be that bad. We just go say hi, exchange names and we'll leave. In and out."

He thought she was nervous about therapy. This was retribution for editing her personal files. If he read them in their unfiltered, entirety he'd know therapy was an extra curricular activity to her. What had her on edge was much worse. So in aggravation she spat, "- off." This was the first time she'd been outside, in the open world since her imprisonment. Everything was buzzing hotly around while she swore everyone around the corner was a sniper.

Her hiss stalled him, which was startling. She figured more people threw those words at him over the years. He reacted like a middle grader, stunned and speechless. A quick recovery followed, but the damage was done. She immediately felt bad, remembering he had no idea who she really was, what she had done in all her years in Hydra. "Sorry," she mumbled. "I just… really hate this."

There was a small smile, the light came back to his eyes. Was he that sensitive? Raven wouldn't have pictured it; the paparazzi's favorite asshole being all fluff. "It's gonna be fine," he rubbed her nervous hand. "Dr. Manson is a solid therapist, and you don't have to hold back. And if you pass out, the couch is cushy and the room's carpeted."

Raven laughed at his absurdity. It was strangled and curt but the joke did its job. Effectively talking her mind off her impending sense of doom for a brief pause.

Her new therapist's name was Dr. Manson. B. Manson, according to the business card Raven saw Tony reading for an address. She had an aura of genuine pleasantness, unlike the mechanical Stepford wife mannerisms of her Hydra therapists. Professionally pretty, with a corporately trendy pixie cut and an interesting shade of red lipstick that looked almost natural against her brown skin. Raven liked collecting things like colors. Makeup color names were her favorite after house paint names. They had such poetic titles that translated to distinct serial numbers in a PC. If Dr. Manson was nice she might ask her for the name of her shade. Red wasn't her favorite color, but she had a collection of reds that needed that color.

"Raven is it?" Dr. Manson smiled at her. "Nice to meet you."

They shook hands. Raven automatically took mental notes about the state of her hand. It was a bad habit, assessing people on sight. Dr. Manson liked creaming her hands. Raven who wasn't at all invested in beauty care, felt the distant residue of the cream on her palm. They were velvety but not excessively so, meaning she might be good at her job. Not too vain as to be self-absorbed in anyway. Looking down for a moment she also noted a lack of heels. Pity, Raven liked admiring heels, they were a rare thing at Hydra since they were impractical footwear.

"So," the doctor turned to Tony. An annoying ritual Raven hated the more it happened. "Me and Raven will just have a short sixty minute session. I'll call you once we're done."

"Gotcha." Tony nodded with that grin Raven saw often on interviews and red carpets. She thought he grew out of it by now. It's appearance further soured her spoiled mood. "You going to be okay?" He asked, without thinking.

It took a moment to realize he meant her. "Me?... Stellar," she grumbled. Why did he ask her that? It was such a weird thing to ask. He knew she was uncomfortable with all medical professionals, that she killed one. Whether she liked or not this session would happen. Unless she missed an opportunity to beg for a reprieve. Either way, the moment was lost and she was stuck.

He retreated, wounded at being the voice of reason. "Right. See you in an hour." And like that he was gone, leaving her alone. Raven relaxed and went to the chaise lounge in the room. She sat there, awaiting the session to begin.

"I've been told doctors make you uncomfortable," Dr. Manson began. "If I make uneasy in anyway, you let me know, okay? Just because your father would like you to have someone to talk to, it doesn't need to be unnecessarily strenuous on you."

Her words and sentiment were real but Raven refused to express her gratitude. Plus, the way she referred to Tony as her father felt wrong. They barely knew each other firstly, and secondly, Janos had that title for ten years. Legally he was her father, while Tony simply swooped in and claimed it. He hadn't earned it. Raven was expected to just accept her new lot in life and like it. Frustrated she scratched her hair, abruptly appear of how disheveled she must look. Her pageboy haircut lost its shape, resulting in an outgrown mess. Covering most of her face and coming to her shoulders. She hadn't let her hair be this long since she was twelve. It marveled her how much time she spent in that bunker, the days she lost.

"Your files say you struggle with disassociation, insomnia and PTSD symptoms." Dr. Manson read from her handwritten notes, in a boring spiral notebook. The blandness reminded her of her Hydra therapists, uniform and robotic. "Causing many side effects, including your nervous stimming and an episode where you believed you killed someone."

"It wasn't believed," Raven corrected. "I was the only one in the room, his blood was on my hands and clothes and it was my butterfly knife in his eye."

She took new notes. "Did you ever recall memories of that day?" Raven shook her head. "But you're convinced it was you."

Raven let out an exasperated sigh. "I thought about killing him before in the same way I killed him. No one else would have stabbed him in the eye." Before she asked why that was so important, Raven told her. "He had blue eyes, like that billboard in Great Gatsby. Dr Eckheart or something, even had stupid round lens glasses. I hated that metaphor and I hated him."

"Yet you only killed him because your mind had been compromised," she pointed. "Otherwise you wouldn't have acted on those feelings."

"Probably not."

Killing openly wasn't her style. She wasn't a violent person, though on the other hand she wasn't against using it. Violence was a means to an end, a necessary evil for survival. Nearly everything she wanted and needed came as a result of violence. Yet Raven hated hurting anyone who didn't deserve it. Seeing people being brutalized broke her heart. The weak, broken and powerless. She rallied to protect them, despite being warned it would ruin her in the end. It didn't matter because she knew what it was like being scared. How couldn't she attribute that feeling onto others? The urge to make it right somehow.

"You mentioned a book, the Great Gatsby. Do you like reading Raven?"

"Did Tony tell you that?" She accused. She forgot this woman was being paid to analyze her. Rolling her around in her cheek, trying to figure out the mystery flavor.

"No," she replied calmly. "You pointed out a literary symbol casual readers might not pay attention to, it was speculation." She could've left it there but true to her profession she went another route. "Why would you think Mr. Stark might divulge personal information about you, to me?"

"You have everything else," Raven pointed out. "Medical, psych and otherwise."

"Those are for professional consultations. Personal information, which you chose to tell, is just that." She folded her hands over her knees. "You seem antagonized by Mr. Stark, does he make you uneasy? It's not common for children, of any age, to be nervous around a parent they've just met."

"But I haven't just met him have I?" Raven retorted with heavy sarcasm.

She wouldn't admit it but Tony Stark was present in her childhood. A smirking face on television, a suave man's man in a magazine, the dickhead everyone wanted to be. She watched him, changing women like outfits, campaigning his weapons, forever hungover from the party that never ended. Wondering with her child's mind, what so special about a literal smart ass. Then he got kidnapped and it wasn't so simple anymore. Nothing was simple. He was her enemy and her father. Unwittingly responsible for dooming her to destroy him. He was Kronos, digesting the rock while she grew in secret. Even now she wasn't sure what to do with him. It was nice to meet him, to know he wanted her, found her funny – occasionally. But what else was there? She felt too old to have a father at this point in her life.

"Dodging the question isn't going to make it go away." Dr. Manson made a note. "If you don't want to answer it than say so. You're free to do that. This is a casual session."

"What counts as casual?" Raven mused aloud.

"We talk about anything you like, or nothing at all."

Raven tugged at her hair's ends. It was equally not and like a Hydra therapy session. She wondered where the line was clearly drawn. "What's the name of your lipstick shade? I collect colors."

Two months since breaking out and Raven finally got the courage to check her phone. Honestly, she was so overwhelmed with everything she forgot about it. Also she didn't want Tony to know about it. With her charger that she still had by some miracle, she plugged it in the available outlet in the bathroom. Her phone was her life in some ways. It held some of her most precious files and acted as a receiver for viruses she installed in computers. On her phone she could hack into anyone, transfer money – and for a lack of a better word, cause chaos. She made it herself, the software at least, and knew it was dead right after Shield picked her up. A part of her forgot about it until she got her duffle bag back.

Attaching a portable charger it immediately it booted up, vibrating with messages. Almost hundreds of texts, over the months she was M.I.A. All from her friends; demanding where she was, asking if she was okay and leaving her messages. Her heart plummeted as she skimmed through them. Only her most trusted friends had her number, her personal number. She had another SIM for work and business, which was long disabled before she went into the bunker. Even insane, she always thought ahead. Her friends had to think she was dead by now. It was only natural, Raven was rarely careless. When she saw the light of day it occurred to her that they might have moved on. How long had she been in the bunker? Three months, nearly four?

What would they think once word got out, that she abandoned them to save her skin? All their messages were repetitive concerns; where are you, are you okay? Then one, a single one said, I love you Bird Brain, don't be dead. She had no idea how long she was scrolling until tears landed on her fingers. What have I done? Raven thought sniffling. What have I done? The most recent message was sent as early as two weeks ago. The sender was no one other than Shin Eun Gi. Her heart hitched at the name and the decision she had to make. Was Raven still missed, or it was a moment of weakness? Was she coping, or in her closure stage? If the latter she should respect their mental wellbeing and back off. Let them drift away and possibly hate her down the road for not texting back. In the case of the former she should leave a text, something brief but sincere. Anything to let her know she was okay. But was that good idea?

Despite how stressful therapy was, she had grown content in her semi-artificial life. Yes, it was built on lies but Raven had done worse things. If she poked these sleeping embers, god knows what infernos she'd reap. Karma is coming to get you Raven, her mind mocked. How many lies can you spin until they turn to straw?

Raven swiped her tears away on the back of her palms. What do I do? Either way I'm screwed. She'll never speak to me again or she'll come to New York and blow it up worse than the aliens. It was a nightmare. Letting her in would only shorten the time before Hydra came back. Yet she wouldn't be so alone. She'd have her other half back, her best friend.

In utterly furious surrender, she set a random text through the chats. It didn't really matter what she said, only that she replied. With no thought at all she sent three messages to her friends. _Not dead_. _I'll explain soon_. _I'm okay_.There. It was done. She officially saw an open ditch and threw herself into it. If anyone found her and shot her in it, she'd find out soon enough.

Tony didn't question Raven bailing, the kid needed cool outs between interactions. At least she wasn't fainting from being in the presence of medical professionals. Dr. Manson seemed to have got along fine. Raven wasn't scowling murderously or swearing. Her rage came out of the blue like a sniper bullet, shooting to kill. A wounded lion in a corner, demanding space with warning. He had to warn Pepper about the little spitfire under those shy twitches. Especially since Raven meant no harm by it.

"So, how did it go?" He asked Dr. Manson.

"I'll be frank Mr. Stark." She pulled out a notebook, referring to her notes. "Raven is a lack of a better word, damaged. Suspicious of strangers, expecting them to twist her arm. Unsure of her environment like she's in a minefield."

"I could have told you that," he muttered. Tony wasn't expecting good news but a little optimism would have been nice. Or one positive thing about Raven. Was she doing better than what her file implied, or worse?

"I will get more in depth as our sessions progress… However they're is something I would like to address. How are you and Raven getting along? I know it's early to say, but I would like to hear your thoughts on Raven."

"Okay…" He hadn't expected being on the hot seat. A while ago he tried informal therapy with Bruce. It hadn't worked out. "Well, we don't talk much. She likes her own company, watching movies, playing on her iPad, reading, drawing. She's chatty when you get her going but it doesn't happen a lot. I guess she's shy. Really, really shy." That sounded way more awful out loud.

"So you have actively tried to establish a relationship?"

"Well, yeah, she's sixteen but I don't want the Tower to be a two year break stop before she bolts."

Dr. Manson made a thoughtful noise. After a quick note, she explained herself. "You see, I sense that Raven is more keen on you than she lets on. There was a comment that implied she wants a relationship with you, has an interest in you. What might be holding her back is her natural apprehension of her new environment. Her paranoia basically."

"She likes me?" Was how Tony interpreted it. "She wants to be friends – uh, have a relationship? With me?" He thought back to how quickly she apologized in the car for swearing. How she stared at him at the barn house. Holy shit, the kid might actually like me.

* * *

 **Happy New Year guys! Sorry I took so long to update guys, work had me by the hair.**

 **So the plot thickens with Raven... What do you think is going to happen? What would you like to happen? Let me know in the reviews, or critique me. I can't say enough how much every feedback motivates me.**

 **Anyways, enough begging. See you in the next chapter!**

 **Anotherscribe.**


	9. Chapter 9

_**Chapter 9**_

Within a week, after her second therapy session, Raven was declared fully healed. The fractures on her ribs didn't show up on her x-rays and her leg was better. Save for a scar on her shin, her bruises had vanished. The only medication she was on now was the heart pills Shield provided. She was using minor pain medication during her six weeks of healing. No one wanted to get her back into the routine of pill popping. Dr. Manson wanted to find the best insomnia pills for her and wasn't entirely sure if she needed hardcore anxiety pills yet. Despite everyone feeling confident in these baby steps toward her recovery, Raven was thinking about the past. The messages on her phone, Janos and if there was future for her once Hydra gave up on her.

Now healed she had to think about actively preparing for them. On one hand it was perfect, they lost the time where a retrieval would have worked. Being under the Avengers protection would lower the man power willing to risk the mission. It made her untouchable, which wasn't entirely good. Janos might not even want to risk coming for her. Still it left one major issue unresolved. The mere thought made her ache, buried feelings impaling her. Eun Gi…

"Raven?" Pepper knocked on her door. "Can I come in?"

"Sure." Raven was just staring at her healed leg. Her treacherous thoughts were safe. "What is it?"

Pepper entered with her usual, light smile. Raven was starting to get used to her, unobtrusive, harmless prying. Unlike Tony who barreled into everything. "How's the leg?" She asked, remaining close to the door. "Must be great having the boot off."

"Feels weird," Raven muttered. "Like I'm lopsided."

Pepper giggled. "Well, to celebrate being all better, I was thinking you and I could go shopping. You haven't really put in any requests."

She gestured to Raven's hollow room. She hadn't done much to it since arrived a month ago. Save for the growing collection of origami figurines. It was hard to think about all the things she could have, when she had no clue how to feel about being free. Watching Netflix, cartoons and k-dramas felt easier to swallow than decorating. She had the necessities; sufficient clothes and undergarments, one pair of combat boots, and personal care items. In that bunker she had much less. It felt rude to ask for more. Tony and Pepper had been more than kind. Personalization was something she often avoided. To protect her true self, that got buried under the white noise of her pills.

"I don't really need much," she mumbled.

Pepper folded her arms, in an I-don't-believe-you manner. "Really? Not even some books, a poster or something?" Taking small steps toward Raven she continued. "How about this, I have a day off, we can go look around and see if you get inspired."

Raven only heard on thing. "You took the day off, twice in one month? Aren't you going to get in trouble for that?"

"You're keeping track? Wow," that was unexpected to her, "at least not all Starks have bad memories when it comes to people." She shook her head, dismissing the thought. "No, I won't get in trouble, I'm CEO. An efficient CEO, if I say so myself."

Her confidence made Raven laugh to herself. Never did she think Tony would settle down with a woman like Pepper, the polar opposite of his usual, public taste. A shrew who's only value was her outer appearance or ability to appease her father's ego. She knew her parents weren't romantically linked, and was mature enough to understand what they really were. Pepper and Raven accepted each other for what they were, but getting to know Pepper was a better surprise. Raven liked the aura around her, the likable business woman.

"Okay," she agreed. "We can try it."

"Really? You're okay with spending time with me, just the two of us?"

With a shrug she declared, "You're alright."

Seeing Pepper hide her jaw dropping, made Raven like her even more. She probably had typical preconceptions about Raven; the wild child, secret daughter. Jumping on tables and smoking in the bathroom, like a cheesy 80s stereotype. It brought a subtle smile to her face. Everyone thought she was a budding psychopath, judging by her rap sheet. Catching them off guard boosted her mood, reminding her that she was more than what Hydra made her.

"She said yes?" Tony exclaimed in shock. "No scowling, or dragging her foot? Just like that?"

"I think she likes me," Pepper replied, still blown away. "She was worried I might get reprimanded for taking another day off in one month." She laughed again at the thought. "I think she's finally getting settled."

Tony was more stunned than Pepper. Raven said yes to going shopping. Initially he was hoping to come in and wear Raven down with some charm. Maybe offer her something she really wanted to get the lines of communication open. Now that Shield – Romanoff, Barton and Fury at least – were prepared for her to be on the protection roster, Tony had permission to go all out to make Raven happy. Dr. Manson slid him a tip that Raven's prickly nature was shyness. Deep down she was at a loss about him, as him her. The news enthralled him, the kid was bashful like a dodgy hedgehog. Why didn't he think of that sooner? The kid grew up around criminals her whole life. Amicability equalled a man in a white van. But, she liked Pepper. Pepper hadn't been trying half as hard as he was to befriend Raven. Chipping at those titanium walls with as much subtly he could muster. Brainstorming and snooping through her Netflix history. Googling Maggie Stiefvater extensively.

He was slightly perturbed, and it showed. What was he doing wrong?

"Oh Tony," Pepper ceased her laughing. "I'm sorry. You wanted to be the one - "

"It's fine," he waved it off. "She likes you. I guess all Starks have a thing for pretty red heads," he winked at her. He wouldn't ruin this with his sensitivity.

Pepper slapped his chest lightly, with nothing but fondness. "Oh, you! Stop it."

Raven downright refused to go to the Upper Eastside boutiques. Insisting Pepper take her to somewhere more affordable, more her style. Although Raven wasn't sure what her style was, save for comfortable. Hydra was hardly the place to parade outfits. Her handlers pushed her toward other things, leaving her with all these skills but nothing else. Everything felt strange and new, like her healed leg and ribs.

"So how about we look at some clothes first?" Pepper suggested. "Maybe over there?"

Pepper gestured to a store where several teenagers entered and exited. A flare of panic surged through her. She hadn't been around kids her own age in years. In rare moments she interacted with them, but they always sensed her otherness. The only other teenager she interacted with was Eun Gi. Who was by no means a good example to go on for normalcy. She wasn't afraid of letting the world know who she was, Raven missed her electric presence. The way she would grin at her charm and poison, defusing any fears she had. Don't think about her, she internally scolded, you're torturing yourself.

The teens around looked pass Pepper snickering at her. Raven _knew_ they were. Her hair was a mess, clothes an utter blank slate and her appearance sickly. Her scars were a little more visible today as well. Self conscious she pulled her hair more over her cheeks, hoping to camouflage in plain sight. Pepper noticed this and held her shoulders in a consoling matter. How was she supposed to fit into this crowd? It was just like Tony, Raven felt too old and tired for this childish stupidity.

"Do you want to go somewhere else?"

It would be the same no matter where she went. Raven was an outsider, leaving the world of bureaucratic adults to naive adolescence. It was backwards, she was backwards. She took a deep breath and shook her head. Running never solved anything. Pepper accepted her agreement, giving her a supportive squeeze.

"We'll make it a short outing okay?"

"I don't even know what I'd like," she remarked in audacious disbelief. "Jesus."

"It'll be okay. We'll try some random things and see if you like them." Pepper pointed out the spiral rack of T-shirts. "Pick out five, at random. Try them on and we'll build outfits around them."

"Like a motif?"

"Exactly," Pepper smiled at her. "Like a motif."

If picking out five shirts was stressful, taking off her clothes was worse. Much, much worse. To see her scars, mocking her reflection. What are you doing here? You don't belong. Put your shirt back on, you're embarrassing yourself. But something was also different. Touching the glass in amazement she realized she couldn't trace her ribs as clearly anymore. Raven pinched her stomach and sides, baffled at the weight increase. She barely registered it, and she didn't look as porky as everyone said she would. Spinning around several times she noted all the changes she overlooked. Would the clothes even fit? She thought fretfully. More out of frantic curiosity she threw herself into the first shirt her hand grabbed. It wasn't anything spectacular, a generic black graphic tee that covered her shoulder burn. The fact it fit, stunned her. It was still a small and it fell over her like any of her shirts at Hydra. Best of all she didn't look entirely ridiculous in it.

"Well?" Pepper called from outside the changing room. "How is it going?"

She almost forgot Pepper wanted to see the shirts too. "I've got the black one on." She came out, "Well?"

Pepper beamed. "Oh, Raven!"

Blushing she scoffed. "It's not that awe-inspiring."

"You look beautiful regardless."

No one ever called her beautiful before. She was always pretty, cute or darling. Never beautiful, it filled her with a new burst of confidence. Pepper had no cause to lie to her, she wasn't that type of person. "Maybe we can go to another store after this? Just to window shop a little," she added.

"Whatever you want sweetie." Pepper coaxed her to go back into the changing room. "Now let's see how the other ones fit."

Raven was a bit of a free spirit. Dr. Manson's warning echoed in her head as Raven zoomed through tops and bottoms. Desperately trying to figure out whether the person underneath them was her or an imposter. Smashing randomly puzzle pieces together to see if once they were brought into focus they made a logical picture. Soon the curious onlookers didn't intimidate her and she openly flipped off whomever gawked at her erratic searching. Was this how she worked in Hydra, running a million beats a minute?

"I like this," she declared with an air of finality.

The vintage jacket Raven was modeling did look nice. Pepper suggested she'd buy one instead of relying on hoodies. After searching three stores Raven found one that matched her tastes. It stopped mid arm, and didn't button up. When Raven liked something she pirouetted, wrapping herself in joy. This time she stopped mid-turn noticing something. A dress. With the jacket still on she ran to the dress ready to tackle anyone who got in her way. She grabbed it amidst the clustered dresses, a 1950s styled blue swing dress. Holding it up to herself, she gasped at how perfect it felt in her arms.

"It's a perfect china blue," Raven remarked.

"How can you tell?" Pepper wondered, delighted at her enamored glowing.

"Blue's my lucky color. I know all my favorite shades on sight." Gravely she added, "Blue is always true."

That was another thing about Raven. She was filled with riddles and hidden nuggets of wisdom. Saying things completely illogical to everyone except herself. Having a lucky color made perfect sense. Sometimes she saw a little of Tony in her. Her likability was a less in-your-face version of his, using her smile and subtle jokes. No wonder Tony had a hard time connecting to her. Raven hated having her space invaded, you had to be invited in. Tony was too accustomed to forcing his way into things.

After their third checkout adventure, they went to lunch. Raven was nice enough to let her pick a spot, a nice bistro uptown. As they ate in moderate silence, Pepper worked up the courage to speak to her about the main reason she and Tony arranged this outing.

"You know, in this neighborhood there a few décor stores. In case you wanted to give your room a makeover too."

"I don't know," Raven mumbled. "It's a bit -"

"Excessive," Pepper parroted. "I know. But it's your room Raven, you're allowed to make it yours. Even if you just buy some curtains."

"Could I paint it? Like buy paint and do a mural or something."

"Of course you can!" Pepper was happy she was finally coming around. "You buy as much art supplies as you want. Tony might even build you a little studio, if it makes you happy."

To see Raven smile, even a little, warmed Pepper's heart. She looked so excited, bursting to ask more. "Seriously?" She snorted. "Where would he even put it? If I wanted one," she added with faux non-commitment.

"Oh, he'd find room no problem," Pepper assured her. "He's an interior designer at heart. Would you like an art studio?"

Raven spluttered nervously. "Me? Well, I draw a little and paint for fun. But I don't think that warrants a whole studio. I'm more into music, I play the piano and keyboard… A little guitar."

The news created a pregnant pause. Raven was a musician, she loved music and art. And she didn't want anyone to know. Was that Hydra's doing? Punishing her for being expressive and creative, unless it benefited them. She sounded so guilty about it, like she was confessing have a nightlight. Pepper wanted to reach across the table and take Raven into her arms. Picturing a little girl in love with music and art, forced to become a scientist and engineer for evil personified.

"You're a musician?" She tried to imagine those pale hands on piano keys. It explained at least how she was so quiet. All her hobbies were solitary and delicate. "Why didn't you tell us sooner?"

"Well," she cleared her throat nervously. "I mostly did it to relax… I used to play before Hydra, and my handler had a piano around the house. He used to listen to me play classical music… He stopped caring about it so I started using a keyboard app. It kept me sane, among other things."

"And art?" Pepper pressed, spellbound at Raven's raw sincerity.

"I discovered a knack," she summed up. "Creating images that only I understood or found beautiful," she murmured in a gaze. "Like how Van Gogh, made the midnight sky blue and immortalized stars in motion. A scientific phenomena, the most brilliant minds still cannot explain. Yet this imbalanced man saw it the same way we see daffodils blowing through the air. People never appreciate how beautiful the simple things until you show them how extraordinary they are."

Her heart dared break. "Raven," she reached out for her hand, squeezing, "you're going to have some of those simple things again."

She groaned with teenage annoyance and teary eyes, "You don't have to make me feel better Pepper." Comically she added, "I always figured I'd go out like James Cagney – He's this Old Hollywood actor, Irish-American, so you can tell why I love him." She mused, "His death scenes in his gangster movies were the best. When he's delivered dead to his family home, dies on the church steps, blows himself up or when he's gunned down."

"Going out with a bang?" Pepper disapproved clearly.

"No. Just head on, knowing it's there and making it earn me." Raven rubbed the obvious scar under her eye.

Was rubbing it another one of her luck-inducing rituals? She often fidgeted with it when discussing dark subjects. Neither Pepper or Tony addressed it once it appeared. When she was comfortable she'd tell them. Pepper already knew there was a horrible story behind it. The less she knew about her scars the easier it was to speak to Raven.

"I don't want to die. I've just been ready to," she sighed. Her eyes caught Pepper's sympathetic stare. "I said too much again. The last time I talked about this, Tony was ready to vomit."

She patted her hand, cupping it in hers. "Me and Tony can't begin to fathom what you've been through. All we want for you, is to be happy and feel safe with us." She then smiled, putting the tense moment aside. "So you like art and music. I think we can definitely make you a little art room. Somewhere just for you."

"Somewhere just me," Raven echoed wishfully. "I'd like that."

Tony was in one of his workshops when the girls finally came back. The girls, he thought cheerfully. I like the sound of that. More than that, he heard a new sound. A strange laughter. Peering around the corner he saw Raven laughing with Pepper. He never really heard her laugh so freely before, which meant the outing worked out perfectly. They were carrying shopping bags on each arm, in varying sizes and from different stores. Keeping his victorious grin to a minimum he went over the greet the girls.

"Hey there, how was shopping?"

"We had a blast," Pepper freed one hand to slip it around Raven's shoulders. Who, much to his shock, didn't shrink away. "Didn't we?"

"Yeah. I bought a dress," she announced.

"Oh yeah?" Tony tried to peep into the bags to find it. "Let's see it."

"What? You want to see it?" Raven cautiously searched for it. "It's nothing special." She found it, holding it up for Tony to see. "See?"

He knew the dress wasn't anything from this era. Being a regular at galas, he had an eye for clothes and the blue dress was a thrift store find. Raven cradled it like it was worth millions. For that he beamed, nodding in approval. She was into vintage things. It made him think of Steve. Those two might actually hit it off.

"Cute," he nodded. "Very cute. We gotta go out sometime so you can show it off." For a split second he swore her face lit up. He was so going to be making reservations somewhere next week. As he and Raven shared a brief moment he noticed some of the other things he bought. "Are those art supplies?"

Her face fell like she'd been caught stealing cookies. "Raven here, is a secret artist," Pepper explained. "She draws and paints, and is a musician. She loves the piano and keyboard, and knows a little guitar," she bragged.

He ignored the sniggering side glance Pepper shot at Raven. All he heard was, project, project, project. At last after six weeks of scraping up leads, he had his moment. His mind drew up plans as he spoke, listing all the basics for an art studio.

"You do?" Tony asked eagerly. "That means you need a studio, right? An art-slash-music studio, to cram all that stuff into." He turned on his heels, looking toward his workshops. "We're going to have to clean out one of the labs and extend it," he raved. "Put in some new décor, lightning and less outlets. Some sound proof walls wouldn't hurt either. Throw a piano and keyboard in here somewhere." He turned back to Raven, "What do you think?"

"Me?"

"Yeah you. You and me are doing to draw up some plans and make you the best damn art studio in New York." Without thinking he slapped his hand on her shoulder. To his surprise she didn't flinch and smiled back.

* * *

 **Sorry for the wait. We have a light hearted chapter today. I hope you enjoy it and as always, feedback is welcomed and fuels me.**

 **Anotherscribe**


	10. Chapter 10

_**Chapter 10**_

This was the first time he and Raven willingly came together. He cleared out on of his labs, as promised and filled with art supplies. Sketch books, art markers and pens, brushes and paints, canvases and a desktop computer equipped to make digital edits. He had desks for sketching, easels for painting and drawers for storing them. Another computer for cleaning up music tracks, along with a separate space for the two instruments she loved. The last time he did something like this he was in his element. Harley had liked the same the things as him, giving him a workshop was a no brainer. Raven's art studio was new territory. He had no clue what she needed as an artist, and asking her wouldn't be nearly as fun as surprising her. There was so many things he hadn't known were factors, like the equipment. He devoured the knowledge like his life depended on it. This was his chance to win her over.

"Oh my god." Pepper came upstairs first, and found him setting up another desktop in the art room. "Tony, what have you been doing?"

"I know, I know. It's a little rough looking. But I've got nearly everything I can think of for Raven. She's got drawing and painting supplies over there and the recording room corner over here." He rubbed his hands anxiously together. "Think she'll like it?"

Pepper laughed, "You threw the piano in there too? I thought we were going to just have the keyboard for starters?" She gestured to the small grand piano in the connected room. "You know she's going to make that face when she realizes you gave up two labs."

"I'll live," he dismissed. "But look! I made sure the piano guys got here the second I dropped Raven off at therapy. And since she and Dr. Manson are so cozy, she doesn't even mind her driving her back. She's going to be completely blown away."

"Other than the fact you told her about the room already."

"Seeing is believing Pep."

Her smiled glowed with fondness. "I don't I've seen you this excited for a project that didn't involve metal or science." She surveyed the room. "I just hope you aren't going overboard. She doesn't like going all out, like you."

"Aw c'mon Pep," he whined. "Don't jinx me! She'll love it," he insisted with a twinge of fear. "Won't she?"

He was staking a lot in this art studio. It was the first thing Raven wanted, something so simple by his standards. Just like Vivian, he thought distantly. The women he used to mess around with always tried to get something out of him. With his wealth it was an expense he could manage. Vivian never wanted anything from him, not really. There was no love between them not like him and Pepper, rather a pleasant understanding. He was struggling to remember her hoping to figure out Raven in the process. They weren't together long but without Vivian there would be no Raven. He couldn't ignore the past.

If only she gave him something to go on. Raven was a world class safe, nothing got in or out. All he needed was a crack into her complex, private thoughts. He wanted nothing more to make her happy after all she went through. She deserved no less. He kept thinking about himself at her age, his life was a dream compared to her. He was a year older than her when Barnes killed his parents, Obadiah raised him while systemically back-stabbing him and his company. He then became Iron Man and slowly pieced himself a better image. Her story saw tragedy and swerved off the tracks, then over a cliff. Maybe a little TLC was all she needed to open up.

There was a soft, awed gasp behind them. "What the hell?" Raven found them upstairs in the budding art room. "Jesus, Mary and Joseph."

Her exclamation brought a huge grin across Tony's face. She spun around on her bare feet utterly blown away, and he was just setting up. "Well, what do you think? It isn't finished, but not bad for some ground work."

Tony had studied the furniture and paintings she ordered for her room and expanded on it. She liked the classics, but nothing too overreaching. Klimt, Van Gogh, Monet but not Picasso. Raven had a thing for paintings with stories, soothing landscapes and pretty things. He had a table of every medium he knew she loved. Drawing, painting, composing, editing and yes, even origami. Since she loved music, he made sure the sound system in here was nothing short of perfection. With a discreet stereo in the art room. He read that artists liked listening to music when working.

There was nothing lacking in this room. It was her own private art store. All the types and sizes of paper she could want. Pencil lead and colored, pastels, chalk, charcoal. Paints, oil and water, big and small. Every brush he could find. Canvases, easels, sketchbooks, composition sheets and books. He covered everything he could think of, and it looked like he did good. Raven was speechless, spinning on her heels. The overall décor was rustic youth, just like Raven.

"This is mine?" Raven had to remind herself to breathe. Then she saw the piano, her jaw dropped. "You didn't," she said to Tony, "you absolutely did not."

He was loving this, for the first time in weeks, Raven was acting like a kid. No adult composure, older than her years silence. She was a stunned teenager getting a sweet sixteen present. Tony's smile threatened to split his face.

"Not bad for a late birthday present." If Raven's jaw could have fallen to the floor, it certainly tried. "Yup, happy birthday kiddo. You get not one, but two art rooms."

It wasn't supposed to be a birthday present but the idea popped into his head and he rolled with it. It was genius, if he thought so himself. The kid spent her birthday being tortured. The last thing on her mind was no one remembering her birthday. Which gave the surprise a pièce de résistance. Bonus points for him all across the board. Raven went straight to the piano and Pepper wrapped her arms around him showering him on silent kisses. Mentioning her birthday was brilliant.

He never heard her play. Honestly he had no expectations of greatness. It was moving enough to see her marveling over the pristine grand piano. Hovering her fingers above the keys, playing a ghost tune. Was she afraid to play? Confidence tottering he observed as she circled the piano, panic replacing awe. Oh no, had he gone too far? Raven was dealing with PTSD, maybe the piano pushed it. Pepper read his thoughts and clutched his shoulders, pressing against his back waiting for the shoe to drop.

Instead she sat down and began playing Chopin's Nocturne No.19. Effortlessly without any sheet music to guide her. Her eyes closed and her fingers took over. Dancing over the keys, the only moving appendages on her entire body. They couldn't even see if she was breathing. She just played, slack and frozen from the elbows up. With a controlled passion concert performers achieved over years of practice. The music consumed and possessed her as its soft lull grew and grew. Her hands knew the piano intimately, as if they were old friends. Every key was right where it should be, how hard to press and how long. It was bare before her.

"Woah." Tony let out a breath he held hostage when she finished. "She's a maestro," he whispered to Pepper.

"I didn't see that coming," she agreed. "A little renaissance woman in the making."

Raven turned around, back to reality and embarrassed at the intimate thing they saw. With eyes to the floor and cheeks burning she muttered, "It's funny how you never forget some things." Half turned away from the piano she reached back, longingly caressing the keys. As if she could play for days.

Pepper stepped from behind Tony. "You play beautifully. When did you learn to play like that?"

Raven could not take a positive compliment. She adorably spluttered at the praise. "I've been playing since I was three. I always had a knack for it… My mum loved to listen to me play. Her boyfriend used to call me little Mozart." Her smiled lost its warmth. "He always got the composers mixed up." She stared back at the piano. "I got to play at a church once. Nearly pissed myself when mum took me to the front. It was a few months before she died, everyone thought it was darling until I started playing. The whole congregation went silent. I swore I'd done something wrong until I saw them, my parents smiling at me. So proud, because I had been trying to bow out of it earlier. My mum's boyfriend had scooped me up in his arms, gave me this big kiss. He gave the best hugs," she explained, "they're always warm. His hands were still warm the day he tried to drown me in the bathtub." She exhaled as if ridding herself of an unbearable weight. "Haven't thought about him in years. I don't even know if he's still alive."

Any conversation with her came with a sad story. Raven was full of them. It dampened his mood a little, but he wouldn't retreat like last time. With his last ounce of courage he stepped up to her arms outstretched. She read his mind and guffawed.

"C'mon," he challenged. "I give awesome hugs." She snorted, not biting at all. "What's the matter? Chicken?"

Defenses cracked she stood up, sizing him up like she was going to throttle him. Only to awkwardly shuffle into his reach, expecting it to be a trap. He never expected her to feel so fragile. How did she take all those beatings over the years? But Tony was struggling from another realization. The girl in his arms was his daughter, and this was the first time he held her. They never got to have this, the tender first meeting where he marveled at this little bean coming into the world. He practically missed her whole life. Not just the usual bit, first steps, words and precious toddler years. She almost died several times. He almost didn't get to know her, to have this moment.

He was about to choke up a when Raven pulled away. She gave him a genuine smile. "Dad hugs aren't supposed to be weird," she critiqued.

"Oh you got jokes?" He accused, no harm done. "I gotta practice! In fact, I wanna do over." He enveloped her in another hug. This time not afraid to really hold her, being as bold to thread his fingers through the hair above the nape of her neck. Pepper wrestled with her laughter beside them, although her eyes cheered Tony on.

"Better," Raven graded. She shimmied discreetly, overwhelmed at the physical contact. "You might even develop a formula for the perfect hug."

He clicked his tongue, secretly doing a happy dance at their banter. "Smart ass." He messed her hair.

"Oi!" She squeaked. "Yes, I know my hair looks a mess, thank you from reminding me." She huffed like a petulant kitten while smoothening the disaster he made. "For god's sake."

"You seriously need a haircut." With her eyes off him his face shined like the sun. He helped pull her disobedient hair behind her ear.

That touch was pushing it. "I don't do that," she told him, freeing her hair. "Old habit."

"Why?" He wondering. Other than the scar, there was nothing wrong.

She gave him a look, weighing the pros and cons of telling him. "Don't laugh," she warned. "I used to have huge, freaking ears when was little. So I never got in the habit of tucking my hair behind my ear."

Tony's lips twitched, the thought just made want to gush. She had huge ears as a kid. He tried to picture a smaller, poutier Raven with her freckled face and large ears. It was one of those distinguishing childhood traits; big ears, excessive pimples, terrible haircuts and braces. If she gave him enough data he would construct a little Raven of his own. To get over all those years he missed.

"You said you wouldn't laugh!" Shouted Raven, featuring her trademark scowl.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry. Let me see those dumbo ears." She took offense like an angry hen but let him proceed. He lifted the sides of her hair. "Well, as someone who didn't see your huge ears growing up I can tell you, there are a respectable size now."

Her mouth twisted into a self conscious frown. She already knew there was no need to hide her ears yet a small part of her still thought they were deformed somehow. "Still don't like tucking my hair behind them." And with that she pulled her hair back, done with sharing. Tony never stopped smiling as he went back to work.

In the corner of his eye as Raven went to her room, he saw her caressing where his hand had been on her neck. The precise spots where his fingers rested. How long had it been since someone held her? Someone had to have raised her, for a period of time. Did they hold her, tuck her in at night, tell her stories? Or were they cruel and neglectful? It would explain why touching was a restricted access thing. Tony thought back to his childhood, how he was sent to boarding school at the earliest age possible. Howard was a touchy subject but it was nothing like Raven's life. Kidnapped to destroy a man who got her into this mess. The fact she didn't hate him at all blew him away. If he was her he'd hate him. Raven was mature in a way he had yet to learn. He admired her for that, it took more than intelligence coming to terms with what she lived through. Before Raven vanished out of sight, he caught something else. She gathering all her ear in a messy ponytail, turning this way and that. Studying her ears in a reflection. He was so going to steal some of Pepper's hair bands and leave them around the penthouse.

* * *

 **Sorry for the wait guys! I really loved writing this chapter. I'm going to try and have alternating chapters in Raven's, Tony's and general POV.**

 **As always let me know what you think, what I should have done and what you would like to see. Every piece of critique makes the next chapter better, and helps me round out the story.**


	11. Chapter 11

**Sorry for the lack of updating guys. Enjoy the chapter and you know what to do!**

* * *

 _ **Chapter 11**_

"So you and Tony are getting along?" Dr. Manson asked with her usual mellow tone. "He mentioned an art and a music studio."

"Yeah, it's nice."

"You don't sound so excited. Mr. Stark was... a little ecstatic. To say the least."

Dr. Manson was trying to be professional about her client, but it was hard not to smirk. Tony dove into his little project with the elation of a five year old and tenacity of a brain surgeon. It had barely been a week and he was glowing with excitement. It was contagious and yet in Dr. Manson's office, Raven was exhausted and breathless. An art studio was a dream come true, much like wanting a pony or being princess for a day. But all of a sudden it turned into a bandaid on a gushing leak. An art studio didn't make her problems go away or the threat of Hydra less real. And the last time someone gave her such a wonderful present, it came with strings. The piano Tony got her reminded her of the vintage one Janos had, how she played for him and he for her. How he whispered in her ear while she played. _There's someone I want you to meet._ _Do make a good impression._ All when she played so she'd take the news with a pinch of salt.

"Raven?" Dr. Manson leaned forward in her armchair. "Is it a little overwhelming?"

She bobbed her head, overcome with the urge to be honest. To say the truth after lying for so long. "It's... a lot. Like those internet videos you see when kids find out they're going to Disney Land. They can't process it, wrap their little minds that this indescribable thing is happening. They laugh, cry and scream."

"What's the bad side of having an art room Raven?"

"It doesn't fix anything… Does it?" It was something she always wanted, a place to be creative. With the things she wanted to be creative with; paints, pencils and a piano. Things that couldn't kill people. "It's just a room, with tubes of paint, brushes and blank canvases. With a piano, keyboard and a guitar." Her apathy turned to tears. "It doesn't make me any more safe. It doesn't make my bad dreams go away. It doesn't change the fact I'm hiding in the Tower until Shield feels confident to let me out! It's no different than Hydra. I'm stuck with people I don't know, hiding from people I used to know, waiting to see if I'm going to be captured or killed."

She inhaled sharply. "My life is going in circles and I don't know what to do. I don't know what to do. I don't know what to do. I don't know what to do." Her breath hitched as she struggled to breathe. Breaths barely came to her as she fought to hold on to them.

Dr. Manson abandoned her chair to come to Raven's side. She held her shoulders as she continued to rant. "It's just like before. I'm alone and someone finds me. They take me in and convince me everyone on the outside, is out to get me. And the only way I'm gonna survive is with them. They say they love me and they want what's best for me. But it's all what's best for them!" She held her head in numb shock. "I'm back at square one. I'm literally at the beginning."

There were differences, vast differences but the crucial points bled together. Raven couldn't believe she hadn't noticed until now. Tony was Janos, Shield was Hydra and Dr. Manson was her meds. Nothing made sense anymore. First her mission was to stay under the radar until Shield made a commitment to protect her and come to an agreement/truce with Tony's parenting. How was it any different to what she did at Hydra? She was a lab rat running endlessly on a wheel, Tony on one side and Janos on the parallel. Her fathers, night and day holding her life in their hands. Changing the direction when it suited them.

"I'm having a breakdown," she mumbled. "I'm having another breakdown." Not again. This what got her into the torture bunker. The doom calling her, whispering to let go and jump into despair.

"Raven, breathe. Listen to me, breathe. Your heart rate is too high." Raven barely noticed the two fingers pressed on the inside of her wrist. Whenever she lost her head, someone was always there to damper it. Just like Hydra. "Raven, you're overwhelmed at the borderline similarities of your situation. That's normal. But they aren't the same, you know that. Hydra stole you for a wholly selfish and cruel reason. Shield found you by accident and wants to help you."

Raven shook her head. "Hydra wasn't looking for a child genius, but they found one, with the winning DNA. They wanted to help too. To save me, from a miserable life in foster care until my godmother properly -ed off." She couldn't stop herself anymore. "Everyone wanted to take care of me at first too. It was all cupcakes and sunshine. Then it was do this, do that. Look at this, look at that. How is this not the same?"

"Shield would never force you to -"

"Nothing is for free!" Raven thundered. "When you know things, or when people think you know things, they don't leave you alone. They say you owe them, it's your duty, your job, to give them what they want. And if you say no, everything goes to shit. All of sudden people are picking on you, cowing you to do something, scaring you to give them what they want. And they come back, again and again and again and again!" She took a deep breath. "I'm not anyone special to anyone. I'm a minor headache to a secret government organization that has a majority to protect and defend. Yet no one's letting me get off the playing board because I'm technically useful. Tell me that isn't what it is?"

"Raven, Tony Stark is your father. He cares about you despite the short time you've spent together. He wouldn't let anything happen to you. You know that."

Raven almost said, Tell that to Howard and Maria Stark. The founder of Shield got taken out by an assassin from one of his own people. But no one could know she knew that, or about Bucky Barnes. The post-mortem pictures were so clear in her mind. Her grandparents, murdered and seventeen year old Tony Stark a zombie in front their coffins. It was a warning; all it takes is one slip and one shot. The thought made her double over, clutching her stomach as Dr. Manson rubbed her back. Who would Hydra take from her if she went one step too far? Her friends were few and irreplaceable.

"What?" Pepper was slack jawed when Dr. Manson called an emergency meeting with both her and Tony. Normally he relayed everything since she had work, but Dr. Manson insisted they both had to come. "She had a breakdown and a breakthrough?"

"It's difficult to understand, I know, but -"

"She was fine when I dropped her off," Tony interjected. "I was going over what she might want in the studio and -"

Dr. Manson regained control of the conversation. "That's what started it, Mr. Stark. I'm thrilled you and Raven found something of hers you could use to get close but, I'm afraid it's overwhelming Raven. As much as she loves the idea of her own space, it has brought up bad memories. The good news is, I'm starting to gather some aspects of her life at Hydra.

"Raven has implied she was placed in a similar domestic setting like this one. She was made comfortable and loved, with kind gestures and presents. Much like your studio. But it was all conditioning to make her guilty and comply with their requests. Which grew and grew until they were unquestionably wrong.

"She's afraid that Shield is going to do the same. While you two care about her, it evidently will create a power balance against her… She's exhibiting the classic paranoia traits of PTSD. Not feeling safe, every gift must come with invisible attachments, no one is fully trust worthy and she doesn't matter. Which is why she has to look out for herself." She grabbed her notepad. "I did't want to prescribe her medication just yet because I fear it'll make her paranoia worse, but we may have to. She has made some alarming comparisons between Shield and Hydra. Any more coincidences will throw her into a deeper panic she already is."

There was a moment of tense silence as it all became clear. Why Raven was so quiet and withdrawn. She was afraid of them, to displease them in case they threw her to wolves. All this time when they thought she was just a battered teenager, she was terrified of them and their kindness. "Oh my god... She was fine yesterday," Pepper babbled, haplessly. "We were laughing at Tony and her assembling her new furniture from IKEA."

Dr. Manson was sympathetic to them. "It happens with cases like Raven's. She's adapted so well to surviving through trickery, she can't function without thinking everything is some trick. To her, the world is out to get her and she can't trust anyone who'll make her slip up. Falter in her convictions."

"I don't understand," Tony said. "All of this because of an art studio? It set something off in her? Should I tear it down?"

His disappoint was clear, he thought he and Raven were finally getting along. There was something he could do for her to help her let him in. She already liked Pepper and Dr. Manson, without any setbacks. Now when it was his turn, disaster struck. He singlehandedly undermined her recovery. The one thing he had to get into her head, made it short circuit. He ran his fingers through his hair, puzzling at what Raven must be thinking. Afraid that Shield was just like Hydra, it was absurd and… insane. A dark shudder went through him, was that what Dr. Manson was trying to say? This was Raven's mind, unhinged and rattling.

"Let's not jump to conclusions Mr. Stark. Raven's confused and overwhelmed by her surroundings," Dr. Manson explained. "We need to give her time to feel safe with us. Because whatever happens, she will looking us to keep to our word and protect her. If we go against it, we'll be back to square one, and she may never trust us again."

Tony wasn't content with that answer. "Have we even moved from square one?"

"This is the most honest Raven has been with me. I'd say we're far from square one." Dr. Manson addressed them both, "I know you're upset. Raven was bonding with the two of you, and you thought the worst is over. Unfortunately for children like Raven, abused for years, it can take twice as many years to recover. Unlearning and relearning, undoing all the damage woven into their brains."

"Years," Tony exclaimed woefully. "She's going to going back and forth like this, for years? Waiting for me or Shield to sell her up the river?"

Dr. Manson had no answer for him.

Raven sensed the shift in the penthouse like the itchiness of her skin. Tony abandoned his project and Pepper was less upbeat toward her. She often went into the room and admiring the nearly-finished studio with a lonely ache. At night was the only time of day she felt brave enough to let her sadness bubble to the surface. It only came once she was able to hack into Tony's security system. Her custom built tablet was much like a super computer. Tony's security system, along with his AI Friday, was nothing to her. With her hack, the security cameras showed a replay of an uneventful night at Avengers Tower. A trick she perfected at Hydra when she wanted to keep certain things secret. Alone she felt safe enough to look around the penthouse, wandering around as she used to do when home alone for weeks. At night it was easier to think. To focus on the things she felt guilty about whenever she saw Pepper or Tony, smiling at her, wanting to be let into her world.

Her world was small and intimate, those inside rarely left. Everything was in your face, devouring your senses. Most people thought her world was somewhere pure and darling, when in fact it was the safety of her nightmares. Thinking of nightmares made her hungry. She went into the kitchen for an apple, slicing it into pieces with a large knife. Eating in the dark, she thought about her friends in Hydra. Knife still in hand, she mused about their faces, if they'd be relieved by her death and horrified by her survival. If they got her texts or were ignoring her. Weeks had gone by since she sent them.

Dare she torture herself, and think about her handler? Janos and his handsome smile, as he petted her hair after a job well done. She pressed the tip of the knife into her palm, her entire being clenching. Him taking her up to bed and tucking her in, with a feathery peck and pet on her cheeks. The blood dripped to the table as she thought about him teaching her Hungarian, the songs they'd sing in the kitchen. He sang one of them while she wept with her burning back. It was the first and only time his voice shook.

Her memories were interrupted by a dull, growing pain.

Realizing what was happening, Raven dropped the knife rushing for a paper towel to clean up the mess. "I need air," she mumbled to herself. Stuffing the last two chunks of apple into her cheeks she stormed to her. "I need to get outta here."

Raven has no idea what she hoped to accomplish with sneaking out. Only bad can come from it. It requires her to activate the distant hack she made on Friday before. Relaying recordings of herself sleeping, and not slipping down to the garage. There weren't many discreet exits for the obnoxious building. She noted through spying on the exits, the garage was her best bet. The last thing she wanted was to announce her residency at the Tower. So dressed darkly with her hoodie and messenger bag, she left through the garage on foot. Although she could drive, none of Tony's sports cars enticed her. Everything he owed was loud and vibrant, much like himself.

When she was a little and saw him for the first time as Iron Man, she hated his suit. Maybe it was the part of her mind disappointed at her fairytale becoming a nightmare. Those colors rubbed her the wrong way, the gold and hotrod red. A bachelor motif that echoed Auntie Irene's words. It was only a year or two later she figured out Tony Stark liked colors, the same way he loved decorating. She wondered how he never exhausted himself, with his boundless enthusiam. Raven had a tight circle, she didn't like having tons of friends although plenty of people liked her well enough.

Thinking of friends made her miss her own. Raven blinked tears from her eyes. They probably all hate me now, she thought. Getting in trouble and hiding behind Shield. Would any of them even speak to her once they found out the truth? That she was Tony Stark's daughter. They weren't exactly upstanding citizens, so visiting her from now on was a childish daydream. She was utterly alone. Even if they saw she was okay, the smartest thing from them to do was forget. Just like everyone else.

Maybe she would throw herself into music and art. It was the only comfort she had before her friends. To return to the beginning, the literal beginning was the best answer. I'll play again, she thought without much joy. Draw and paint, putting it all behind me. Her mind jumped to Eun Gi, all they went through together. The blood, horror and happiness, she couldn't put it all behind her. She was forever scarred, mentally and literally, because she loved her so much. Worst of all, she would do it all again. Let Janos adopt her, suffer those years all to be with her. The realization made her lean against the nearest wall. Even if Eun Gi hated her, Raven wouldn't take it back.

There were a lot of things she wouldn't take back from her messed childhood. Mainly meeting her best friends. When she little and Janos started introducing her to Hydra operatives. There was one person who stood out among the rest. He was eighteen when they met, a son of a business colleague. Barely eight years old she remembered thinking how handsome he was, with his brown skin and deep gaze. Felix Valquez, her prince charming. The first time she was left at his house, she caught him playing a guitar.

 _Felix narrowed his eyes at the little sneak around the corner. Guitar still in hand he grumbled, in his thick Castellan accent. "Shouldn't you be sleeping?"_

" _Play another song," she begged. "One more, please?"_

 _Felix sighed, "Bed."_

" _Please, I can't sleep… I'm scared."_

 _Seeing he wasn't going to be able to enjoy his alone time, he put the guitar down. Standing over Raven who crouched behind the corner, he declared, "You know I'm only watching you because my father told me."_

 _Raven blinked up at him, not offended by the truth. "I know… Can I still get a song?"_

 _Felix scoffed, brimming with adolescent indignation. "I thought you weren't a baby," he accused. "That you can take care of yourself?"_

 _That got under her skin. Janos didn't want her to be a baby anymore. She was supposed to be a big girl and do her studies. Yet a part of her yearned for music to the point she might burst. "Please?" She pleaded. "Please?"_

 _Her pitiful tone had a similar effect on him. Felix squirmed suddenly ashamed he was picking on her in the first place. She had no idea what was in store for her, the better she got at her "studies". He beckoned her to follow him back to the couch. No sooner had he picked up his guitar she burrowed into his side like an extra kidney._

" _Hey," he warned._

" _Please…" She gazed up at him, large eyes glassy and desperate. "Just one."_

" _Fine, but then you go to bed okay?" He warned._

 _It began with one song and Raven attached herself to him. He soon got used to her being around, indulging the never-ending one song that started it all. She would leave him presents, like he was an elf. Drawings, sweets and whatever thing he was looking for – that she happened to find, with no logical explanation. Felix took in stride, feigning nonchalance in front others only to hug her fiercely when they were alone. And soon he taught her to play a few chords, while keeping tune._

No more jam sessions, she thought with a sigh. Pulling out her phone she began to scroll through her pictures. Studying the faces of her best friends, their happier times. Eun Gi and her taking a selfie in Seoul. She and Felix in Barcelona at a festival. Kyung Gi and her hanging out with Eun Gi skulking in the background. There was even a picture of Janos, dressed in a tailored three-piece suit, flute of champagne in his hand. Why the hell did she keep a picture of that bastard in her phone? She hated him, he left her for dead. So why… Could he have saved her, and was she too out of it to blindly trust him? Janos had some pull at Hydra but even he had to answer to someone. Not to mention she had been disassociating frequently before her imprisonment. He was no saint but was he all to blame?

"Jesus, Mary and Joseph," she grumbled to herself, putting away her phone. "I'm officially insane."

She was sitting at the bus stop, waiting for any bus to drive by. It didn't matter where she was going, only that she got back before Pepper woke up. Pepper was the earliest to rise and more vigilant, compared to Tony who's first piece of business was slithering to the coffee machine. Bored she looked across the street for something to do. There was a lovely restaurant, sadly she had no money to go. It was exactly the place Janos would go, swank and posh, with imported ingredients. Missing Hungarian food and being well-travelled made him a horrible food snob. Again she thought back to nice memory; him teaching her proper table ettiequte, her silly ways of remembering everything.

Lost in memory she blindly observed all the faces, freezing at one. Her heart beat so violently, she was pushed back scrambling for the pole to steady her. A man was drinking wine by himself, dusty brown hair, chiseled, cold features. No, she thought feeling her chest constrict, it can't be. Although being annoyed by pleasant memories, all Raven feels in this moment is fear. Her handler is right there, no clue she was watching him. Janos, in casual clothes, still somehow looking formal having a drink by himself. She should run but she's fascinated. What is he doing in New York? Is Hydra lurking in the city too? Did certain people know she was here?

Unaware of his audience Janos sticks his hand in his pocket and pulls out his wallet. It's what is inside the folds that catches her attention. Although she can't see that far, she recognizes the clunky red, monkey's fist knot. It was a father's day present, her last attempt at bracelet making after he wouldn't wear it openly. Her ten year old self took it too deeply to heart and stopped making bracelets all together, assuming they were all ugly. Now she realizes he was just too vain to ruin his ensemble and had no conception of how much wearing it meant to her. To see him with it now, caressing it as he pays for his bill makes her physically ill.

Without thinking she crosses the street to peer into the window. It can't be him. He has to hate her, like everyone else. He hurt her and she hurt him, so why miss her? She forces herself to think about all the times Janos has disappointed her; her scarred back, abandoning her and letting Hydra use her. Still her breath hitches like she wants to cry, because he misses her. Standing there she watches, waiting for reality to mock her fantasies and prove her wrong. Instead she sees him, wax face seemingly incapable of emoting, utterly destroyed. To strangers he was a composed stoic, polished and to be admired. To Raven, he's cracking marble about to fall. By the way his brow is frozen in subtle strain, the way he's pressing his lips together, how his hand sits in a practiced, neutral position. Even his hair is not entirely combed back, it's messy, half a coif hanging on his forehead. He's an absolute wreck. Then he lifts his head, mask shifting ever so slightly; mouth agape, eyes wide and unblinking, the halt in his breathing.

Raven runs and he's right behind her.


	12. Chapter 12

Since I didn't update in a while, I've decided to give you guys two chapters in one week! As an apology for being off schedule. So enjoy!

* * *

 _ **Chapter 12**_

They were shadows in a chase among everyday people. Both in black, invisible to all around them. No one saw a girl running from a man, turning around alleyways, leaping over walls and fences. Her pursuer gaining on her like a wolf, limber and nimble despite the height and weight difference. Just like her old life. No one matter how badly she was hurt, the obvious damage, no one ever saw. The realization made her vision blur. It made her miss the fence in front of her.

Her hands braced her face for the collision. Remembering who was behind her, she moved to climb over the fence as quickly as she could. Hands scrambling for grip, feet searching for footing. Her fastest wasn't good enough because someone grabbed her by her hoodie and yanked her to the ground. The back of her head bounced off the concrete and she saw colored spots. Still she struggled to roll to her side and crawl. Raven was plucked off the ground, a puppet on strings and flung into a wall, feet dangling off the ground. Everything was spinning, swirls of blacks, grays and whites.

Two sets of knuckles were pressing into her chest like nine inch nails. Pinning her in place, making each futile wriggle painful. Raven gasped against Janos iron grip waiting for more agony. It was what she expected. His fury, his fists, for spitting at his gift, leaving him for Tony. He always hated him. They way she wanted to know him, despite having Janos as a father. Raven would hate herself too.

Instead his forehead drooped against hers, as he lowered her down. His grip slackened but he didn't let go. She panted, still and mute unsure of what was going on. Was she going to die? Or was he going to take her away? You should have stayed on your side of the street. Serves you right for sticking your hand in the lion's mouth. Janos pulled back and they stared at each other.

Just the other day she had a panic attack because of what he did to her. Her heart near-burst through her ribcage, lungs on fire and head a mess. It all because of him. Yet her heart was calm and steady right now, lungs cautiously breathing and head clear. She was waiting for him to strike. Why? She was so afraid of him finding her and now he was here, she was limp.

His hand reaches, cupping the scarred side of her face. He could kill me, she thinks stiff as death. Twist my head and let me fall, no one would know. Instinctively she closes her eyes only to feel his lips gaze her forehead. Thumb petting her cheek as he rests his face on her head. They stay there, for several breaths before he pulls away.

"You're alive," he says.

Not, why did you run? Or another well-crafted threat. A heart-felt acknowledgement of her survival is all she gets. He continues to pet her less attractive side, marveling her existence. Raven's stomachs twists and reviles at the intimate gesture. This man has hurt her, she can't say this enough. He stole her, made her believe they were going to be a family and made her a weapon. I should hate him, she thinks but now that he's here and not hurting her Raven feels the tears running down her face. He was father, and in many ways still is. She missed him.

"Shh, shh," he hushes her tears. "Don't cry."

He pulls her into his arms, cocooning her to his chest. He did this a million times when she was little and after bad days when he was struck with the urge to be paternal. Immediately she thinks of Tony. Who had no clue how to hug. Fumbled with where to put his hands and demanded a do-over. Who's fingers threaded through her hair like he was supporting a newborn. This is betraying him and endangering Pepper. Two people who took her into their home, showing her nothing but kindness. It's wrong and selfish. Raven pulls away wanting so much to go home, her home between North Dublin and Hungary. But she cannot, not anymore. So many lines have been cut.

"You're staying with him, aren't you?"

There's the icy anger she knows. No shouting, no throwing silverware yet his voice sticks knives in her heart. Raven dares not run twice, he'll catch her like a spider and make it hurt worse, on purpose.

"I…" What can she say? Impulse says to blame him but she can't say it with conviction anymore. Not knowing what those pills did to her perception.

"Of course you would be," Janos goes on. "It's what you always wanted, to meet your father."

He says it so bitterly, Raven wants to cry. This is the first thing she ever did for herself. Bucky Barnes, the Maximoff twins and Eun Gi were acts of human decency. They were not things she did for herself. They had to be done, because it was right. After years of being told what to do, who to be, the one thing she receives for herself is being used to choke her.

"Is he what you imagined?"

"No…"

Janos frowns, "Better, I expect?"

Why was he jealous? Raven understood him being angry at her wanting to leave him, but this was something different. She had no idea how to respond. He was seething over Tony Stark more than the fact she was with Shield now. That in a single breath she could ruin his life and take away his freedom. The unexpected turn made her nervous. Janos was his worst when unpredictable.

Usually she had quick, satisfying responses for him. Now, she can only wither under his grey gaze. She hates herself for being so spineless in front him. He smells it like a shark.

Instead of going for the kill, he retreats, regaining composure. "But you're alright?" He adds, in a gentle fatherly tone. Again he touches her scarred face, the only person who caressed them with the chill of a scalpel. "I thought you were dead." His hurt cuts worse then when he had to walk away. "Someone said you jumped off the building, moments before an explosion."

"Almost did," she confessed. "No one was more surprised than me, when I opened my eyes… I got burned and broke my leg." She touched her shoulder at the memory.

Without asking Janos immediately holds her firm and pulls back her hoodie. He studies the scar with a pulse on his jaw. Again he thumbs the area and she tenses. Raven grabs his hand to pull him away, she doesn't want him looking at her new scars. Anyone for that matter.

The hand she hurt earlier and she tenses realizing what she's done. He feels the scabbed over prick from the kitchen knife. Fingers snap around her wrist, pressing specific bones to make her hand bloom apart. "Raven…" Is all he says. A single word weighed with disappointment, hurt and concern. "Oh Raven…"

"Let go," she pleads. "I have to go back. I have to go back."

"Shh, shh," he puts out her fight, chaining her with his own grip. "Talk to me. What's bothering you?"

While Dr. Manson would deftly prod her, Janos demands it. He helps Raven with the delicateness of the jaws of life, pulling and prying. Raven begins to buckle because she was thinking about him, what he would do and how he felt about her. It's so hard to breathe because nothing makes sense anymore. Hydra is bad and Janos is Hydra, but he's her father and she loves him.

"It's alright," he pulls her close and they crouch on the ground together. "I'm here. I'm here."

Raven surrenders and lets him hold her, lulling her away into uncharted memories.

The two days later, she's in her room. With no recollection of how she got back. The first thing she did was check her entire body for any strange marks. A tracking device or pinprick from a needle. Did I disassociate? She should tell someone but that would mean admitting where and whom she was with. As much as Janos is hers to hate and love, she can't betray him. Yet anyways. She can only pretend absolutely nothing is wrong while she internally screams.

"You want me to what?"

Raven was in her room reading on her tablet, when Tony came into her room. He disturbed her solitude with such a ridiculous request, it made her set down her tablet stunned at the implications. He wanted her to come with him to a charity gala, which was helping heal his public image after Sokovia – and to introduce her as his daughter. Just after spreading word through her small circle she was alive. She hadn't told them her secret however, this was going to blow her plan wide open. Goddamn Tony Stark's grand gestures. He was trying to get back into her good graces after her meltdown two weeks earlier. By announcing her to the world.

"Come with me and Pep to a gala," he repeated. "It's nothing fancy, and you can wear your blue dress."

"It's china blue," she corrected. She hadn't gotten a chance to wear it and was eager to do so. Yet she thought about the cameras that came with such event. All the people wanting to snap her picture. There would be no more hiding after that.

He smiled at her. "Your china blue dress. It'll be nothing fancy, you just stick with me and Pepper, say hi, shake hands and we go home."

The event didn't scare her. She had accompanied Janos at several galas. He taught her how to dance like debutante and what utensils to use in fine dining situations. It was the exposure. The judging stares, the questions and knowing Hydra could see her. That Janos was watching her, seething and jealous. Her blanket of secrecy would be ripped off.

"Shield's totally approved of it," he added. "So if Hydra gets rowdy, you'll be safe." He messed her hair, as was his calling card for quelling her visible worries. "And you get a chance to be dolled up. You and Pepper get to have a girls day."

She tugged at her shaggy hair. A trim was definitely needed. She was in between letting it grow or cutting it all off again. Maybe it was finally time to make a decision, with her hair and her new identity. She exhaled in defeat and Tony beamed with that smile she was starting to read; giddy and victorious. He clapped his hands, eagerly rubbing them.

"I'll bring the whole pit crew up here," he assured her. "Then we go straight to the gala."

Raven scratched her head fretfully. A pit crew, huh? She definitely need a team to make her gala-ready. She wasn't one for dolling up, ever. That was more Eun Gi's department, she was like Marilyn Monroe if she was Korean and a NFC fighter. Raven was more of an ugly ducking who had yet to become a swan.

Hand still within reach he ruffled her hair again. "You know, you make this face when you're thinking really hard. I won't be surprised if you catch fire one day." He caressed his thumb on her furrowed forehead. "You'll be fine. You're stepping out with a pro."

"I hate being the center of attention," she confessed. "Makes me twitchy as shite."

"Well, I'm going to be right beside you. There's nothing to be afraid of."

Tony wasn't kidding about the pit crew. Several hours before the gala, a team of beauticians bombarded the Tower. Manicurists, pedicurists, hair stylists, makeup and even some jewelry retailers. Just seeing them, lined up like soldiers made Raven's nose sweat in impending doom. They weren't all for her and Pepper, were they? Because most of them were sizing her up like a raw carcass. If he wasn't planning to introduce her to the world as his daughter, all these strangers might have thrown her into a panic attack. Only with Tony's subtle way of showing affection; ruffling her hair, hugging and patting her shoulders could she keep it together.

"So everyone here is going to get you ready for the ball," he declared. "I showed the stylists your dress and they've gotten some accessories for you to pair with them. Bag, jewelry, you know the rest." He turned from one group of persons to another. "They're doing makeup and nails. They're doing hair and any face treatments."

Raven took a deep breath at the grinning gang of beauticians. They were clearly buzzing happily, to be working with Tony, not necessarily to help her. That only heightened her apprehension about the whole ordeal. Her nails were going to remain plain, more out of habit than preference. It was the accessories and hair cutting that had her most nervous. She never wore any other necklace than hers and only owed a handful of earrings, bracelets and rings. All that were not with her now. Not even Janos could get her to doll up like Tony was prepared to, but she was willing to try. Within reason. Mostly because he had been so nice and meant well, through all these burning hoops.

Dressing up was never her thing, but the spread of cosmetics reminded her of Eun Gi. She loved wearing loud lipsticks, going her eyeshadow with alarming delicacy and strict focus. If she was here, she'd be losing her mind. The most she ever did for her was trim Raven's hair. Which the stylist was running her fingers through, figuring out what to do with her characterless mop.

"What do you do with your hair?" She wondered with a distinct Italian coo.

Without thinking she dug up the brief Italian she knew. She and Janos spent a summer there before she started living in bases. Before everything properly started going to shit. **"Not much."**

The stylist froze at her perfect Italian. She broke out in a huge grin at her native tongue. Raven noted the pretty dimples she had. **"You speak Italian. Mr. Stark didn't mention that."**

" **I don't like showing off."**

She struggled not to laugh. **"I'm afraid today's purpose is to show you off."**

" **I've gathered,"** she whispered. Pepper was picking up on the non-English conversation. **"I'm too low-maintenance for him. I think he's trying to show me the light."**

She earned a melodious laugh from the stylist. **"Every girl should be spoiled once and a while."**

" **I have a strict diet for that,"** Raven quipped. **"And this is pushing my quota."**

The stylist shook her head in dismay at Raven's stubborn stance. With a gentle tut she gestured to the mirror before them, taking Raven's face in her hands. **"You have such a lovely face. Won't you like a cut that will compliment it?"** Her fingers ran along her jaw line and cheekbones. **"Like Audrey Hepburn. Maybe some extensions, or a little color? Like Breakfast at Tiffany's. Everyone loves that one."**

Mentioning Audrey Hepburn made Raven sincerely ponder. She never got the chance to try anything with her hair. Dolling up encouraged Janos to deceive himself about their relationship. Plus any attempts to be feminine were ridiculed on the spot. You're better than that, women operatives always told her. You have time for that later. There was no better time than now. Plus she did love Audrey Hepburn, who was almost as skinny as her and was the epitome of elegance.

" **I like the haircut she has in Sabrina. Can we do** **something** **that?** **I like short hair.** **Something boyish,** **"** she added. She always liked boy haircuts more than feminine ones. Janos sorely disapproved of anything other than her pageboy haircut as a cut.

After a moment of thought, gathering her shaggy hair in her hands and pulling it back, she nodded. **"** **Of course we can."**

Raven was warming up to the idea of dressing up. Tony wasn't even going to question how she knew fluent Italian – of course she would be a polyglot. The important thing was her having some fun, feeling pretty and all that other good stuff. He heard the two mentioning some names, all old school and classic Hollywood actors. Again nothing shocking. Raven was turning out to be an old soul, with a tomboy twist. She was having a hell of time with the Italian stylist, who all but adopted Raven herself. She was a proper charmer, he could tell by the way she effortlessly got everyone at ease and chatty. Some Stark traits were eternal in the end. He imagined his mother might actually like the fact of some Italian back in the family, even if it was just the language. There were so many layers to Raven he was barely unravelling.

In the end, despite refusing everything but a pair of simple costume-type earrings – real old school hoops, Raven was ready. And she was a living princess. In her fifties styled, china blue swing dress, silver pumps and sequined clutch. She spun circles around Pepper, dressed in red – a treat for him – floating off the ground. Her hair was cut short, caught somewhere between James Dean and Audrey Hepburn. A part him worried about how she'd fit in wearing such a vintage statement. Especially since she hated standing out. Yet to see her glowing like Cinderella he couldn't imagine anyone more confident. She walked like her dress cost her the world and everything on her was priceless. No one would say anything bad about her. His little princess.

The Avengers were the last thing on his mind when he let the announcement be made. All that mattered was that Shield, and by that he meant Nick Fury, saying the coast was clear. Raven needed to see the Tower wasn't her last stop. Her life had just begun and the world was hers, if she wanted it.

"Just smile like you usually do," he coached her as they pulled up. She was started to fidget, trying her hardest not to mess up her makeup by chewing on her fingers. "I let it leak to the press who you are, give them a minute to salivate."

"Okay," she shakily bobbed her head.

"We'll be right there behind you," Pepper reminded her.

The flashing of the paparazzi were revving up. Raven fretted, "I should have worn my reading glasses. I'll go blind."

He smirked, "It's feels that way at first." He parked the car. "Okay," he drummed the steering wheel. "Show time. I'll walk around and let you out okay?"

She moaned, like she was going to vomit. "I thought I was over my damn stage fright."

Everything was white flashes when Raven Rocher got out of Tony Stark's sports car. Unlike everyone who strutted out in designer brands from head to toe, the slender teen was a blue vision. A vintage couture, which distracted the fashion reporters who expected a lavish entrance. She was the odd man out, a pretty oddity however. With his dates on each arm he made his way to his usual media correspondent. He only did this in instances of grand announcements. Nearby reporters primed their ears for the pipe bomb they knew was about to drop.

"Two lovely dates tonight," the reporter chirped. She turned to Raven, "I don't believe we've met."

She would hardly be called a date. Obviously no older than sixteen, judging by her face alone. A face with little makeup on.

"This is Raven," Tony patted her hand on his arm. "She's my daughter, so you'll be seeing a lot of her." And just like that the news spread like a virus. He grinned at the chaos he created, his magnum opus for the week. "She's going to be staying with me from now on."

Raven smiled shyly at the flashing cameras. A gentler grin than Tony Stark's million kilowatt smirk. Knowing full well what he just unleashed. All eyes were on Raven who did little to milk her moment in the sun. Opposite the usual Stark strutting. She marched with poise through the lights, clinging to Tony Stark's arm. By morning she would be known as the Stark Princess.

"That wasn't so bad," Tony said, after the stampede of people in the gala itself met Raven. They all swarmed in organized groups to shake her hand. Many of them were blown away by her Irish accent and her anti-Stark demeanor. Others found her the most charming thing on sight. He expected a reaction but once the pattern became clear, it was like everyone kissing a godfather's ring. Maybe they thought he was retiring.

"I feel like I was running for Prime Minister," grumbled Raven. "Were they all freaking out because of me, out there?"

He was ready to lie, to spare her anxiety for one night when Pepper's phone buzzed. Her eyes bulged, "Oh wow. You're trending." She handed her phone over to Tony. "Happy just saw the news and is mad you didn't tell him."

"Aw c'mon I was gonna tell him," he protested. "And Rhodey. I'm just covering the media first."

"Hashtag Tony Stark's Secret Daughter," read Raven from the phone, scrolling with her pointer finger. "That's direct," she noted. "A New Stark – to the point. Tony Stark's bombshell, cute." She was hiding her panic but her fingers were drumming against the clutch held to her chest like she was rallying an army. "I'm a hashtag. I could put that on my resume."

"If it's any consolation, I've had less classy hashtags." Tony glanced down through the Twitter feed. "They've already uploaded some pictures of you."

"What?" She snatched the phone out his hands. "Holy shit… That's me."

Raven didn't recognize the girl staring back at her. She wasn't afraid of the lights, letting them in with a welcoming yet reserved gaze. Just as stunning as the women in their designer gowns. All while making Tony Stark her background. She was in such disbelief she touched her new androgynous haircut, making sure they were indeed the same person. For a moment Tony and Pepper swore Raven was about to cry. He brought her back to earth with a jarring shoulder hug.

"Look at you, all mysterious and thrifty." He beamed with pride. "I bet tons of people are going to start rocking vintage dresses next season thanks to you."

Raven let her head droop on his chest. He almost forgot about how she shutdown in overwhelming situations. But she never physically sought comfort from anyone. She was starting to trust him. About time, he thought a little giddy at the victory. He tried not to sweat while Pepper was cheering him on in her eyes. The kid was warming up to him, it just took about three months.

"We'll go home early, okay?" He promised under his breath. Raven mumbled in accord, and Tony patted the top of her head. "That's my little trooper."

Raven did her best to grin and bear it. In the end she slipped away into the bathroom, far from the crowd all eager to shake her hand. In the stall she rubbing her hands, along her shoulders to her wrists trying to shake all the varying hands from her memory. She huffed fretfully in the stall weighing the cons of bowing out before Tony's designated time. He had plenty of hands to shake, questions to answers and patrons to please. With his recent disasters, public relations was his saving grace. And despite not wanting to fathom it, she was great balm. The charity case who happened to be his daughter. A fresh face and such sensible clothes. Without planning to, she became a tool to Tony.

"Well… that was an announcement." A voice declared upon entering the bathroom. "Not that surprising, but something."

"The way he used to run around I'm surprised they're aren't more."

They were talking about her. Her heart stilled as if the women could have heard it. Tony was so optimistic about her being accepted, hearing an honest opinion had her attention. Let me hear what the everyday man thinks and I know the thoughts of a country.

"And what the hell was she wearing?" One cackled. "I'm surprised they let her out the house."

"Stop it, she's probably trying to be… unique," she dryly mocked. "Guess that Stark arrogance is hereditary after all."

I should defend myself, she thinks hotly. Kick the door down and demand them say it to my face. Yet a part of Raven remained seated listening to them, the faceless opinions. It wasn't the first time she overheard someone using harsh words about her. Frankly she heard worse, more personal comments. This was a letdown, she always hoped for people to prove her wrong. Go against the base reactions. What mainly concerned her was what Shield – the Avengers, would think of her. If the public saw her as strange what might they label her as?

"I wonder who her mother is."

"Probably one of the sluts he kept around for a weekend then threw out. Who else would it be?"

There it was. The ancient wound sheathed with a shiny blade. It came back to that in the end; her mother and how it all began. Her mother, her less than wise choices, the optimism that bore no hard feelings to Tony Stark, got her killed and left her in the hands of an abusive woman. If Raven was braver she might have constructed a time machine, just to get those answers. To change the course of time. God knows in days like these it was possible. She lacked the sense of grandeur about herself, that she was right to have that power.

"You're right, god knows there was enough of them."

When they left Raven lost the stomach to return to main floor. With their petty thought buzzing in the back of head, there was no merit going back. This was a mistake, she thinks. I should have stopped this. Raven belonged nowhere with no one. Hydra didn't suit her and Tony's social circles sneered at her. With years of being berated for being smart, weak and strange, tonight went too far. No matter how much her mind told her, that was what it was her heart refused. No one wants to think of their mother like that, an interchangeable woman who had a stroke of bad luck. Them being the curse. It was a common phenomenon yet Raven didn't want it to be like that. She hated to admit it.

Her feet took her upstairs of the venue. No one stopped her because none of the staff cared. They were looking for Tony Stark's Secret Daughter. Not her, sullen, run down girl in a china blue swing dress. If she spun for hours her mood wouldn't change. On the second floor she took off her shoes, letting her feet drag on the carpet. No one would find her because she didn't exist; the self-assured, put together girl currently trending. That's not me, Raven thought listless and sad, that's not me.

They all want Tony's killer smile, the way he bulldozed in the limelight and owned it. Anyone who saw her ignored her. Without the missing ingredients she was nobody. The realization made her find a balcony at the end of the hall. Closing the terrance doors behind her, she slummed down to the marble floor. Never mind how cold it was all of sudden. From above here she saw the army of rabid lights, frothing for her encore appearance. Somewhere Janos was watching this, awaiting the oncoming orders. Was Hydra growling for her blood? Eun Gi and her brother, Kyung Gi enraged at her deception? Felix drinking aggressively at her idiocy? Were all her friends hating her, while collectively deleting her from their lives?

"Shouldn't you be out dancing?"

* * *

Oh, and please don't forget to review, please. Hearing from you guys really motivates me, plus you can tell me what you think.

See you in the next one!


	13. Chapter 13

_**Chapter 13**_

Raven yelped, spinning on her heels. Janos was standing behind her, dressed to the nine. Immediately she thinks of the night they found each other. How he held her until she was calm enough to be put into a taxi, she forgot most everything else. But seeing him here makes her rush inside, pushing him away from the balcony. He can't be here, not with the people and cameras everywhere. Shield will find him, and… and… She can't even finish her thought.

"What are you doing here?"

"I heard Tony Stark was hosting a charity gala, I procured an invitation in hopes of seeing you." Being so close, he wraps his arms around her waist. "I see, he let you pick the dress… Among other things."

He came to see her, despite all the risks? Her left side brain scoffs at the pathological relentlessness that is so Janos. Wanting to be near although it's not appropriate. Her right side melts because this wonderful day has become awful in one swoop, and here's Janos trying to piece it together.

"Thanks." Janos never liked short hair for her. He loved seeing her with long hair. "Told you I could pull off short hair."

"I can see that," he chuckles. "The world will finally get to see that beautiful face of yours." He swings a knuckle along her sculpted bang. "How much you've grown. My invincible girl is becoming a lady."

Raven fights against the grind to fall into old habits. Janos isn't someone to make a treaty with. You have to work around him and let him call the shots. Thinking of his vengeful streak with Pepper in the building makes her jittery. It would easier to hurt her than Tony.

"Why are you here?" She puzzles. "You're endangering yourself and -"

"Is it so hard to believe that I missed my daughter? That I want to see you? Make peace with you?"

"Peace?"

Janos sighs, "Did you forget?" Raven's lost expression is answer enough. "That night, when I held you in my arms, you asked for peace. You wanted to put our differences aside, because you missed me."

Raven might have said that, it certainly sounded like something she thought about. She simply can't remember, which means she disassociated with Janos. "I don't know what's possible anymore. I'm here," she gestured to herself and him, "and you're there. I can't remember half of the things that happened to me in that bunker. Maybe it's for the best."

"It is," Janos said. "Seeing you like that…" He turned away as if she was still in that state. "I barely recognize you in this very moment."

Raven reaches out, touching his shoulder. Contorted by memory he relaxes under her caress. She's never seen him like this, tangible to emotion. She was accustomed to secret smiles and snuggling hugs, even silly games of make-believe but not this.

"Janos…"

"I did horrible things to you." He turns and pushes her against the wall, forcing her to look at him. "I took you away from people who loved you, as was my mission. Made you give up your dreams of being a composer, to study science. I put my hands on you and abandoned you… Let you be hurt and tainted by my colleagues. But don't ever doubt that I love you Raven." His hands squeezed her shoulders. "I see you as my daughter and I'm not giving that up. I raised you. I cried when I thought you were dead. In fact," he inhaled sharply, "that's why I came to New York."

Raven heart dropped, she thought about Shield so confident in their protection. When they were no less human than most of their Avengers. They as capable of error like anyone else.

"What are you talking about?"

"I was going to carry out your mission for you." He held her face now. "It's would have been a travesty of the universe if Tony Stark gets to live a full life and you do not."

"You wouldn't… There was no way…"

"Shield promised to protect you, yet here I am." His hold tightens. "And don't you ever forget that. Shield said they would protect you from Hydra, and who could snap your neck right now? Trust your instincts until you're actually safe."

And then he pressed a tender peck on her forehead.

"If you ever feel frightened, you come find me and I'll protect you. The way a father should."

Raven must have made friends or bolted to the bathroom for a sensory break, because the kid vanished. Not for a moment did her suspect Hydra, his announcement was too short notice and none of them knew Raven was here. Well, they did now but this was not a night for worrying, at least not for Raven. Minutes after she slipped from the corner of his eye his phone rang off the hook. Shield, namely the Avengers, must have seen the news. He ignored the calls, not really wanting to spoil the evening that by itself was overwhelming Raven. The last time he needed was her hearing Shield – who promised to help her, reacting negatively to her existence. The kid had to trust them. If he or any of them messed up Raven might, without meaning to, run back to Hydra. Her old battleground, with the devils she knew.

"Your phone's vibrating."

Pepper noticed Raven's rundown face, slack and tired. "Raven, where did you go?" She ran her fingers through her hair. "Are you feeling okay?"

"Just had to take a break." She hugged her shoulders, rubbing her arms. "Did I miss anything?" Her eyes narrowed at the name on his caller ID. Capsicle.

He hid the phone back into his jacket pocket. "Nosey," he chided. "It's no one you need to worry about."

"I know who that is," she mumbled.

Raven opened her mouth to say more but she bit her lip, clamping down her reasonable accusation of bullshit. Tony half wanted her to call him out, if only to get a glimpse into those heavily guarded thoughts. "I know, I know. I'm a shitty liar but don't worry about it, okay?" He caressed the knuckles on her arms. "This is on me, not you. In fact, someone might send you a consolation bouquet."

To his relief and surprise, she smiled at him. "You are way better at talking shit."

"Was that a compliment?" He held his chest, feigning an oncoming swoon. "Pepper, get me a drink. I'm feeling, a bit faint."

Pepper rolled her eyes at his antics. "You definitely hit the nail on the head Raven. We can't do much with him, can we?" She winked at her, a jokes between his girls. He loved that term more and more he used it – his girls.

"I've had worse," bantered Raven.

"What a nightmare," she with faux woe.

* * *

Tony knew he was stalling the ambush. Ignoring phone calls would just rattle Steve's chain. With his recent, overzealous manhunt for anything with the name Hydra on it, he and Raven might not get along. With her lack of sharing and general secrecy paired with his Tell Me Everything About Hydra or I Punch You tactics. Steve had a habit of getting in your face which might make Raven freak out. Not to mention she had enough trust issues with him and Shield. The last thing he needed was Steve making his job harder. Especially after her recent breakthroughs. Raven was even using her art room again and playing tunes that echoed through the Tower. With her newfound comfort he was surprised she wasn't downstairs yet. Usually Raven rose with the sun, whether making breakfast or reading. Somedays he found her lounging around like a cat. It was a first not to see her somewhere in the living room. Maybe the new meds were finally taking effect and Raven was getting proper rest. Dr. Manson only prescribed her anti-anxiety medication and weak insomnia pills, just for a little help. So far they seemed to be working, but for all he knew she was finally felt confident and relaxed enough to be lazy.

He was not to so lucky.

During the calm someone came up in the elevator. He knew it was Steve and he panicked. Raven was going to hear the ruckus and think something was wrong. Sure she was old enough to think constructively but she also a kid with PTSD. "Oh, come on," he grimaced at the potential for an awful outcome.

Steve entered, with a whole entourage, pissed as hell. His blue eyes were narrowed and locked on Tony who held up his hands in mock surrender. He brought practically all the Avengers including Bucky and Rhodey. Excluding Bruce and Thor who were M.I.A. One being in Asgard and the former under the radar. The Vision was no doubt at Avengers HQ. Upon seeing Bucky he lowered his hands, any semblance of a good mood vanishing from his body. Did he have to bring him?

"You better start talking," Steve warned.

"About what?" He shrugged. "I can talk about a lot of things."

Whatever Steve heard was a vast overstatement because he was more furious than when he created the Vision. His fists were clenched and he was broiling, ready to lift him off the ground and shake the answers out of him. Rhodey, who Tony barely saw among the ambush, intercepted the oncoming street fight. Going between Steve and Tony, questioning him first.

"Firstly, I am beyond pissed you didn't call me the second this happened. Secondly, where is she?"

"In her room," Tony pointed to the door on the above platform. "Sleeping. What's going on, besides the bum rush?" He saw how neither Natasha or Clint were smiling. The two other people who knew Raven wasn't a threat. So it only made sense that Natasha explain it to him.

"Have you been talking to Raven about Hydra? The work she used to do?" Tony made a hapless gesture. Whatever he knew was definitely not on her mind. "When her picture dropped, we had a look at it and -"

"Bucky and the twins know her," Steve interrupted. Gentleness wasn't his strong suit in tense moments. "She was a part of the Winter Soldier program and the Enhanced Person Experiments. Whatever she's been telling hasn't been half of it." He adds, "Not to mention she might have been studying us to figure out our weaknesses."

Tony's head whipped to the people in question. She hadn't mentioned it nor was it in her files. Although who would put sensitive information like that out there. Still, it didn't sound like something Raven would do. Not that anything she did at Hydra was okay, but she knew about the other Avengers. Her dirty laundry was bound to come out. So why lie? In the middle of forming a syllable he was rescued by the lady of the hour.

Everyone stopped at the sound of a door opening. From the upstairs guest room Raven emerged looking like anything but a top secret Hydra operative or the Stark Princess. In an oversized band t-shirt and barely visible shorts, hair suffering from major bedhead and huge headphones on. She rubbed her face somewhat half-asleep, when she noticed all the eyes on her. If she were a cat Raven would have hit the ceiling and stayed up there. Her big brown eyes found Tony's screaming, Help me, now. What's going on? Since he didn't respond, Raven moved just to pull her headphones to hang around her neck. Waiting for someone else to give her a hint.

Steve's face indeed made a priceless expression. Tony never saw him look so bowled over. A strong wind could have moved him the second his and Raven's eyes met. "Are you serious?" He said to Tony and those who knew her. She definitely looked younger than sixteen in person, and dressed down. Even with her neater haircut. Plus she radiated unbridled fear and helplessness in those brief, first moments.

She hadn't made a single breath since everyone saw her. Like a wild deer, she wasn't going to move until it was safe. She was breathing heavily, overwhelmed by all the people trying to piece rumor to reality. Luckily Natasha saved her, since everyone lost their drive for a moment. "Raven, we need to speak to you about something."

Raven's heart did somersault and her scars burned. _We need to talk,_ Janos told her before he shoved her into a table of chemicals. They know, she thought with a mute sigh. Normally her body might have broken into cold sweats at the nightmare of Shield knowing her secrets. Scratching the surface to the abyss. Now she only felt a twinge of fear, but not for herself. Dr. Manson's words came back to her, Tony wasn't like Janos. He won't let anyone hurt me, right? Yet he was in New York undetected, they met up twice in one week. Shield wasn't as competent as they wanted to believe.

"Okay…"

Her eyes found Bucky Barnes before anyone else's. He was unrecognizable, slightly pink from the sun, eyes more alert and somewhat cleaner. Did he remember her? Her back was forever scarred because she couldn't forget him. Her face branded because of the impact his fate had on hers. Eun Gi's voice echoed in her mind, _He probably won't even remember you. No one will care_ _whether_ _you saved him or not._ Subconsciously she rubbed the scar on her cheek, for luck. This was just like any day at Hydra, she barely came out of bed and people were swarming her.

Then she saw the twins. Was it okay to smile? She actually bonded with them, despite knowing they wanted to kill Tony at one point. It didn't feel safe to smile with everyone staring at her. The set of unblinking eyes made her rub the other scar by her hairline. Another reminder of her unlucky sense of mercy and compassion. Now she sensed those cold sweats wanting to come. The thought of getting in trouble never frightened her because it meant she could fight it out. However with people that wouldn't fight, she had no clue what to do. Plus Captain America was sizing her up like a problem and a mystery. The last person who looked at her like that came very close to killing her.

You meet the same handful of people all the time, and you are doomed to repeat your mistakes if you don't learn from them. Raven believed that wholeheartedly.

Captain America's eyes darkened, as he stepped forward. "Raven?" He said her name, unsure whether it was her real name. For a fraction of a second she saw Operative Shin, one of her many boogeymen. Glaring at her, sneering, _Raven? The bird of death and misery. It seems your mother knew your purpose and doomed you to your destiny from the b_ _eginn_ _ing._ His ghost stood beside Captain America, in his blood soaked clothes. Standing in a similar militant stance, distrusting her automatically because of her secrets and intelligence. This was going to get ugly, she thought fidgeting with fingers. Don't pass out, she coached herself. Don't pass out.

Wanda saw Raven's fear like a cloud of electricity. Without a second thought she touched Natasha's arm, bringing her attention to it. She overstepped in front Steve, signaling to Clint. "We'll take it from here. You and Tony have things to talk about." There was no room for argue as the pair swooped in and took Raven to the kitchen table. While the others went into the nearest workshop.

"What just happened?" Steve questioned Wanda who glanced back at Raven with Clint and Natasha.

"You shouldn't talk to her," Wanda explained with a degree of hesitation. "You frighten her."

"What?" Exclaimed Tony. They barely spoke, other than his perturbed expression Steve was doing okay. How could Raven be afraid of him without saying a word to him?

"He reminds her of someone… Who hurt her." Wanda gave Steve an apologetic nod.

"Now when you say hurt," Sam pressed, "what do you mean?" That could mean a lot of things. As a former counsellor he didn't want to begin to discuss what a child could mean when they say, hurt.

Wanda folded her arms, "I don't know. All I sense is her pain, and her fear… She wouldn't have told you anything." She added, "I can't see her thoughts. Her mind races, making it hard to focus."

"Your power doesn't work on her?" Rhodey was stunned. "Is that even possible? I mean, you read Tony's thoughts."

"She's smarter than me," Tony confessed. With bitter humor he remarked, "She's too smart for mind games."

Clint sat across from Natasha at Raven's side. She was looking much better, brighter and less twitchy than when they met her. Unlike Steve who saw a fire in his house, they saw it as a child playing a trick that got out of hand. She meant no harm, she only wanted some privacy. They would get to the bottom of it and then leave her be.

"You look good," Clint complimented. "You and Tony getting along okay?"

"You aren't my therapist," Raven grumbled.

Natasha smiled, she felt safe enough to be blunt. This was good thing. "We're not here to step on your toes Raven. You kept valuable information from us, that you knew we would want to know about. We just want to find out why, and what else you think you should know."

"It wasn't anything you didn't already know," Raven protested.

"Why didn't you say anything," Clint casually wondered. "I mean if you had Bucky and the twins to vouch for you, we would have gone a little easier on you." He reached for her hand. "Hell, anyone who would vouch for Bucky gets a stamp of approval from Steve."

Mentioning Steve made Raven's voice drop. "Well, none of them mentioned me… so I didn't want to make any trouble for them. Besides, I don't think Bucky remembers me that much."

"He remembers you," Natasha stated with a warm smile. "He remembers your voice mostly."

"My god-awful Russian," Raven recalled. "Have you ever heard Russian with an Irish accent? Yuck."

The thought amused Natasha, since Bucky's accent hadn't much improved over his decades of speaking it. She had studied his face the most when he saw Raven's picture. The way he recoiled, frightened and heartbroken. Followed by the hopeful question, She's real, and alive? There was a history there, one Raven kept secret. Natasha wanted it uncovered without hurting Raven.

"I bet it's not so bad." Clint remarked.

"Well, not anymore," she corrected. "I can mimic accents fine… You want to ask me something don't you?"

Natasha addressed her gently and even-toned. "Is there anything else we need to know about you and what you did in Hydra? I'm not asking for a rap sheet, just anything outstanding that we," she gestured to the room discreetly, "should know."

No one wanted to interrogate Raven. They wanted to give her a chance to come clean, if there was a reason. On the other hand they wanted this to be the only house call they had to make. Raven was still recovering from all the mess Hydra put in her head. Much like Bucky, she deserved all the inexhaustible chances he had. If not more.

"There's nothing."

They knew she was lying, but they weren't going to push her. Clint nodded, giving his best smile. "That's all we wanted to know."

The twins hadn't stopped looking at Raven since Natasha and Clint swooped her away. Unlike Bucky who was floored to even see her, they were questioning. Steve decided to question them on it, not ready to talk to Tony as yet. Arms folded he turned toward them.

"What is it?" He saw the two whispering among themselves.

"She's different," Pietro muttered. "Quieter."

Sam craned his head spying how Raven hunched in the chair. Trying to look and not look. "Yeah? Well, Natasha said she'd been through a lot."

Wanda shook her head. Something else had happened. "What did they do to her? Her mind is harder to read than before."

"Did you just say, than before?" Steve checked. It hard keeping track of anything, everything about Raven was gripping. "So there was a time you could read her mind?"

"Her thoughts run together… like wet paint trying to blend. One minute she's thinking of something and her mind jumps somewhere else." Wanda stared at Raven, threading through the cloud of discord in her head. "She thinks about everything, every single moment. It's hard to hold onto one thought unless it's something that makes her happy."

"And what makes her happy?" Tony wondered.

"A song, a person," she shrugged. "Something pretty she wants to draw. It's nothing special." Wanda grimaced, "Something's upset her. Something – ah!" She yelped at the last passing thought.

"You know you shouldn't poke around when she's upset," Pietro stated. He placed a comforting hand on her shoulder. "Are you alright?" He turned to the others, "Whenever she digs too deep, she gets a headache. Something about her memories hurting."

"Something terrible happened to her," was all Wanda could say. "When we left, something went wrong. Very wrong."

* * *

 **Thanks for reading guys! Let me know what you think, give me critiques and reviews. Any input will help the story and me.**

 **Until next time lovelies**

 **Anotherscribe.**


	14. Chapter 14

_**Chapter 14**_

Raven tried not to visibly sweat with all eyes on her. After her talk with Clint and Natasha she went to the kitchen to boil a kettle of tea. Today was not a day for coffee. First Janos poking around the gala, now this. He talked about peace, showed convincing emotion and held her. Came to see her with all the risks at hand. On one hand he wanted to protect her, on the other hand Tony wanted to do the same. Both with vastly different methods. Her heart dare burst with all the simultaneous activity.

It's been a while since she was in a high stress situation. She had lost nearly all her fight. Her body quaked in nausea, hands shaking and panic rattling her heart. There wasn't even a possibility of her dying in this room. In moments when she could have died she wasn't half this scared. With a moan of surrender she hung over the kitchen counter, letting whatever childish fit she was having pass. I'm freaking out and that's okay. I'm freaking out and that's okay. Fits are normal, fits are normal. In her experience addressing the problem and letting it run was better than pretending everything was fine.

"Hey…"

She was so caught up in breathing evenly she hadn't heard the swinging door. Raven leapt at the sound only find herself alone, with the – Bucky Barnes. She made sure to use his name when she spoke of him, but in her mind old habits reigned strong. He was in sweats, which was extremely weird for her. After years of seeing him either half naked, completely naked or in his Winter Soldier gear. At least he kept his hair the same. "Hi," she replied. What else could she say? Raven knew him, they spent hours and days together but he didn't know her. She, this version of herself, was no one to him. A part of her was hurt that the man she almost died for, bore a number of scars for, would never know her. Bucky was never going to be a friend, a real friend. He was just someone she helped and empathized with.

Bucky cleared his throat, "I uh, wanted to say thank you… For everything."

Raven was grateful for the kettle. Its light went off and she went to make her tea. Staring into those cobalt eyes brought back unpleasant memories. Taking her time she mumbled, "You don't have to thank me. I'm just glad you're better now."

"I hurt you once," he went on. "I didn't mean to… and you tried to protect me… And I forgot you. I left you there."

Whatever he did was long forgotten because Raven had no clue what scar on her body was from him. Compared to everything it was nothing, not that she could say it like that. He sounded gutted, ready to tear time a new one for the moments he lost. Raven wished she could have said something to assure him she forgave him but there was nothing to say. Everyone forgot about her in the end. A small part of her was glad she was forgotten because it gave her time to make a dent in things, slowing down Hydra's corrosion. Raven was well beyond feeling bitter, every bad thing that happened offered a unique opportunity to do good. Some small, others colossal and most just good, old fashioned rebellions.

"You had a lot of shit on your plate." It was the best comfort she could give. Raven never expected him to remember her anyways. She was just disappointed because Eun Gi was right. The good she did would never be acknowledged by "the good guys". The way Captain America sized her up confirmed it, Raven was still Hydra to him.

"I wanna to make it up to you," he spat randomly.

She thought of her back and chuckled, "How?" Was he going to throw a random compound of chemicals on his back, making them twinsies? Thinking of his genuine guilt she added, "I didn't do it for a pay off. I did it because it was right and you didn't belong there." Raven turned her head to see Bucky, gripping the sides of kitchen island, head hung. I'm such a bitch, she thought. A guy tries to apologize to me and I blow it off. Letting her tea brew she walked toward him. Don't be a cow, she coached herself. Don't be a cow.

"Actually," she got his attention. "Tony built me this art studio. I've got some pictures and posters to put up still. Since you're taller than Tony, you can help me put a few up. If you want."

Bucky immediately said, "I can do that."

* * *

She had been alone with men before. Men of all cloths, yet being alone with Bucky made her anxious. He was so eager to take instruction, perhaps it was an old habit. All to make it up for her, for all the hell he made her suffer. As though it were his fault. The opposite of Janos who gave her nothing but grief, while being the source of it. Raven handed him a framed poster for him to hang up. He just finished sticking the adhesive hook on the wall.

"So, how do you like the twenty-first century?" She asked him.

"It's fine," he states. He adds, "That's the first question everyone asks me."

"Well, it is the easiest," she remarks. She could have asked if he was sleeping well or eating enough. If having Steve back in his life made him happy. Those felt too personal to ask. He wasn't the Winter Soldier anymore, he deserved some privacy.

"How are you?" He asked her.

"Fine," she mimics him. "That's what everyone asks me."

He smiles realizing how moody he sounded. Seeing him emote is more surreal than hanging up posters. She was so accustomed to his slack, otherwise wounded face, humor seemed unnatural. Raven can see the Sergeant Barnes before the fall, handsome and charming. It warms her heart knowing she had a little part in bringing this man to the present.

"I feel lazy most of the time," Raven confesses handing him a roll of tape. "I'm so used to being run down I can literally feel myself gain weight."

He snorts, "Aw c'mon."

His Brooklyn twang makes her giggle. In retort she lets her Irish brogue loose. "Serious bruv, I'm turning into a proper sow."

"You can't weigh more than a house plant," he points out.

Raven's jaw drops because he actually made a joke. "Oi! You take that back!"

His shoulders shake with contained laughter. Raven remembers the scarred skin around his metal shoulder. How it ripped and tugged into flesh. It was designed for a super soldier to carry. It dawns on her that although being free he may still want to do good to make up for his sins. She could help him with that. Something that would be remembered this time.

"Uhh Bucky," she gets his attention. "I uhh," she goes to her sketchbooks, picking out the one she brought with her. "I had something that I stole from your file, copied actually. It's the design plans for your arm," she goes to the back cover, unsticking taped down papers. "I was working on designing a less weaponized version on it, so it would be easier on your shoulder. Plus, it has a detail of all the parts in the old one so if it gets damaged anyone can fix it for you." She hands it to him.

His smile and mirth fall away as he gapes at her. Bucky takes the folded papers opening them. He flips back and forth trying to make sense of what she wrote. He's breathing loudly and Raven thinks he's going to freak out. Instead he looks ready to cry. His face is twitching and his wipes his nose.

"You did this, for me?" He gazes at her, bewildered. "Why do you care so much?"

Eun Gi asked her that when she came back from Budapest. All fury and tears, why do you have to care so much? She inhales sharply like her back is burning again. Why do I care so much? None of them came for me. None of them remembered me until I got out. It's not my fault this happened to him. Raven can only shrug, but Bucky can't let it go.

"I remember, before my last mission. You came into the room, I was getting ready." She stiffens because she hoped he had forgotten this, out of everything. "You gave me an order. To drag it out if I remembered anything. You practically undermined Pierce."

Raven takes a deep breath and breathes.

"You told me to run and find Steve," he went on. "Ordered me to."

She closes her eyes, she can see Janos coming at her. He's so angry, he isn't her Wax Face Papa anymore. His broad, slender hands grab her, shaking her, slapping her. What have you done? What have you done? She screaming that he's hurting her.

"Someone had to have seen you come into that room," he rambles. "You were never in the room before my missions. Everyone who comes in there has to have a key card."

She lies, horribly. "I don't know what you're talking about." She told Janos the same thing.

"Don't lie to me!" He yells, raging at the obvious truth. "Did they hurt you for helping me?"

What she felt next was the memory of agony. Janos throwing – pushing her, into the table in her lab. Her spine jutting into the table edge, her hand flailing blindly. Something is knocked over when she falls. It cascades onto her back, eating away her t-shirt. The first contact burns her to her core. She lets out a cry that steals the color from Janos's face. He rushes to her side, helpless as she is, trying to assess the damage. As it happens, to the both of them.

At this moment the Avengers heard the commotion and the room has become way too congested. Tony immediately suspects Bucky but Steve gets his piece out first.

"Everything okay in here?" He looks at Raven who twitches under his stare.

Bucky doesn't notice them because he wants to know what happened to her. "What did they do?" He asks low and on the brink. Raven shakes her head, it still hurts to this very day. Especially remembering Janos's face when he saw her the other night. How happy he was, how distraught he was thinking she was dead. All the confusing feelings she ignored, the bad and good crashing together. He loves me but he hurts me. He loves me but he hurts me. He loves me but he hurts me.

He loses his cool, thinking she's stalling to spare him. Flinging his hand into the nearest surface, which is the glass wall, he shouts, "Just tell me!"

Raven breaks as the glass cracks. Everything is rewound and fast forwarded. The sound reminds her of beakers and test tubes shattering. Glass cascading around her. Janos rushing at her like a mad bull. The chemical concoction splashing onto her skin and the agony that made her contort unnaturally. _What have you done? What_ _have you done_ _?_

Tony recognizes the look in Raven's eyes when her knees buckle. She's having a panic attack. He rushes to her side as her face drains of color. Her skin is cold and clammy, trembling like wounded animal.

"Hey, hey," he attempts to soothe her. "It's alright." He turns to Bucky, giving him the dirtiest of looks. This is another reason to distrust him and he welcomes it. "Rogers if you don't get him out of here, so help me…"

Raven despite her distress comes to Bucky's aid, "Don't…. be mad at him, it's my -" She gasps for air. All eyes are on her and her skin is an inferno. They're all staring at her like she's mad, because she is mad. Mad as hatter, mad as a hatter. Mad Dog Raven, the kids in her class called her. Their fiendish singing echoes in the back of her skull. Mad Dog Raven, Mad Dog Raven, Mad Dog Raven.

Clint swoops in to help because her next gasps are the most frightening sound Tony's even heard. He gets on his knees, keeping eye contact with Raven. "Raven, look at me, okay?" He takes her hands in his, anchoring her from floating away. "Breathe." He takes loud breaths for her to copy. "I need you to breathe okay? In… Out… In… Out…"

It's Janos's voice she hears over Clint's. _Breathe Raven. Stay with me. Stay with me. Look at me Raven. Raven? Raven?_ She thinks about him in the restaurant, holding her bracelet. This man hurt her, scarred her life and mourned her like a father should. What was real, him the monster or her the ungrateful and self-righteous for trying to play hero? All because she couldn't ever mind her own damn business. Tears spring from her eyes as she remembers his face staring down at her. The disappointment and sadness, the distorted expression.

"No one is going to hurt you," Clint says. "You're safe here."

Raven wishes she had a voice to call him a liar.

* * *

Raven is dreaming of Janos. She's in their house in Dublin, snuggled in her bed with a cold. Her body is shivering and sweating. He comes in holding a tray of food and tea, smiling fondly. The tray is set down by her bed side table, he sits on the bed pressing his hand on her forehead.

 _He tuts, "Still as high as yesterday. I told you not to go swimming with those Shin children, they rough house too much."_

" _I don't need you to baby me," she coughs. "I can take of myself."_

 _Ignoring her he beckons her to sit up. "I'm well aware. Porridge or tea first?"_

" _Tea," she moans. "Is it with honey and lemon?"_

" _Of course it is," he smirks._

" _Extra honey?" She tests him._

 _He hands her to cup, a fine china gold and white cup with a matching tray. It fits perfectly in her small hands. "See for yourself."_

 _She marvels how it doesn't scald her. "How do you always make it the perfect temperature?"_

 _He chuckles as she sips, weak but eagerly. "You are feverish. I've told you this a thousand times already."_

 _She honestly has forgotten his patent technique. Although she knows how he makes the perfect cup of tea. "I forgot, tell me again." Like it's a bedtime story._

 _He stirs her porridge while she drinks so it's perfection when she gets to it. His attention to detail warms her heart. Lately he's been distancing himself. To prepare to be on her own because she's a big girl now. Tall enough to reach into the high shelves and old enough to mind the stove when it's on. Seeing him do this for her, tells her he's not as ready to let her go as he wants her to think. She smiles dopily to herself._

" _What are you smiling about?"_

" _Nothing," she hums. "I owe you breakfast."_

 _He pretends not to know either. "I suppose we can have a lazy Sunday for ourselves before we go back to Europe." In a rare moment of affection he pats her cheek, thumb hovering over a swoop of freckles. "We'll have soup for dinner. Your favorite, tomato soup. With a few additions of course, to get rid of that cold."_

* * *

Somewhere between Clint trying to calm Raven down, she drops. Maybe it was the hyperventilating coupled with a bad heart or whatever trigger started her panic attack. Either way Raven faints into Clint's chest and he can only guide her to the ground. She lays limp, head on his lap as the tears caught in her eyes run down her face. All eyes goes to Bucky who stares from across the room. He jerks from Tony's murderous, burning glare.

"What did you do?"

Bucky gapes likes a fish on a hook. Everything had spun out of control and he can't explain when it went off the tracks. Wanda however comes to his aid. Throughout the whole scene she had been silent and observant. Filling the blanks best she could.

"You were asking her something," Wanda said. "About the last day you saw each other."

Guidelines help, he regains the courage to speak. "Yeah. I realized that she did something to help me get out, and I knew someone had to know about it."

"What did she do?" Steve asked. "That you just had to ask about?"

Bucky's shoulders slackened. "Before Pierce sent me on my last mission. Raven came to see me, she's never in the room where I stay before my missions… She gave me specific orders." He purses his lips. "That if I remembered anything familiar about you or something you said, I was to drag it out. Eliminating you. And that after my mission, I was not to return to my rendezvous point. I was to find you and never look back." He pulls at his hair fretfully, "She couldn't have gotten into that room without stealing someone's key card and they're always cameras rolling."

"You think someone hurt her, for helping you?" Steve takes in Raven, whom no one has moved out of the room. Only to a comfortable position.

"I know they did… I just – I don't know. She keeps sticking her neck out for me, and I couldn't even remember her until this week!" Bucky thunders in exasperation.

"What's that in your hand?" Sam asks, pointing at the papers in his other hand.

He shoves it at him. "They're blueprints for my arm, the originals and a new design Raven made. She was saving them for me." Touching them stung like a fistful of needles. "She thought about everything…"

Rhodey surveys the papers with Sam, "Woah, she designed this? For you?" He glances to Tony who's still on the floor. "But then why did she freak out just now?"

Wanda walks up to Raven and goes down on one knee. "You made her remember what happened, and she didn't want you to know… She kept hearing his voice in her head when she passed out, and what he did to her." Her hand hovers by the hem of her shirt, the small of her back is slightly exposed. "Something with her back…"

"Do you know him, who did it?" Bucky demands, flat-toned and cold.

"I think so," Wanda confesses. "His voice is always in her head." She pulls Raven shirt up, just a little. At the first sign of her burns her hand leaps back. Red energy smokes around her hands.

"We don't know precisely who did it," Natasha says. "Raven's entire back looks like someone threw some sort of acid on her. You think that's what they did?"

It suddenly clicks and Tony feels sick. He thinks back to the conversation he and Raven had weeks ago. How she ended up in hospital in Budapest for weeks for "insubordination". Her handler messed up her back and locked her away to boot. The ages match up with when Barnes broke out. He covers his mouth like he's going to vomit.

"Tony," Clint can almost read his mind. "What is it?"

"It was her handler," he recites his discovery. "Raven told me when she was a kid, she got cited for insubordination and her handler beat the life out of her. Her exact words were banged up. Then he looked her in some hospital in Budapest, a room without windows. She was twelve."

Pietro has a revelation of his own. "Didn't we meet her a year after that? She was thirteen."

Wanda follows his thoughts. "The man who picked up from the base, was her handler. We never saw his face," she says tightly. "He took her away because he didn't want, a repeat of her last performance. He meant…" And she turns to Bucky.

"She had to live with this guy, after he hurt her?" Tony finds himself holding Raven's hand. It's a little comfort she won't remember. All the pieces fall into place. How she stays in certain rooms at all times. Never makes demands or requests, living like a ghost. She had to live with an abuser for years, co-existing with someone who – in every sense of the word, scarred her. No wonder she warmed up to Pepper faster than him. She was afraid to get close. That was why the art room made her regress, her handler did the same thing. Gave her presents to in-debt her to him. She wasn't comparing Shield and Hydra this whole time. She was comparing her handler and him.

* * *

Raven wakes up in her bed, and can't recall how she got there. Her first sensations are hunger and fatigue. Rolling on to her side she moans. She must have roared because the second she makes a sound Tony appears. He looks worried but she's too tired to particularly care.

"Hey Sleeping Beauty." He sits on her bed. "How are you feeling?"

"Did I just wake up?" Raven mumbles. "Feels like I did."

He touches her face, it reminds her of her dream and she flinches. Tony's hand moves so fast she knows something is wrong. "Tony?"

"You, had an eventful morning to say the least." He keeps his hands in his lap, very unlike him. "The Avengers came by to see you, after the gala and all that."

"What – Oh shite," she groans. "Now I remember… Goddammit. Did I pass out?" He nods and she wants to die. "Why do I keep passing out?" She blurts out. "I mean I've…"

"You've seen worse, been through hell and all that?" He finishes.

He says it like he knows, which makes Raven's offensive. What happened between the time she passed out? Obviously a lovely discussion about her. She sits up waiting for him to elaborate because clearly enough has been said on her behalf.

His first question and worse one to open with is, "Why didn't you tell me about your handler?"

"I did," Raven insists.

"You told me a version – a misdirecting version of a really messed up day." He sounds hurt and it almost tugs at her heart. If not for the fact this had nothing to do with him. "I mean I get not exchanging war stories on the first date but it's been over two months."

His gentle, heartfelt plea sounds like a demand of information, which was what the Avengers initially came to get. She's fed up with people saying they care about her while she's hurting. "The last time I told you something you lost your damn appetite! So excuse me if sharing never seems like a good idea!"

He takes it because he did get a little nauseous. But that was the first round. "That doesn't mean you can't talk to me, Raven. I mean, give me a heads up and I'll listen to anything." He sighs, "You know I'm not him, right?"

The implication that she's so imbalanced to compare them constantly rubs her the wrong way. "The only thing you two have in common is ticking me off," she spits. "But you take the cake in that department."

His smile makes her broil. What is so damn funny? "I get that a lot… I saw the designs you drew up for Barnes, they're pretty amazing. You really care about him, for a guy you barely knew."

"And?" She snaps. Be nice her foster mother always said, just be nice and it'll be fine. Now whenever Raven's nice or merciful, she must be daft. How is it so mind-blowing she is capable of kindness?

"Nothing," he mumbles. "I guess I'm trying to put myself in your shoes. You know, since you don't like talking about yourself."

"Save your breath," Raven tells him. "I felt bad for him and did the right thing. No biggie."

"And the twins?" He pushes.

"What about them?"

"They told me you had a choice whether to save them or let them die. You chose to save them even though they were going to kill me… What about them?"

"They only wanted you dead because it was your name on the missile," Raven stated. "They weren't ready to hear that no matter what they did, the pain doesn't stop. Parents are gonna be dead, city gone to shit."

"I see, you're the enlightened one?"

"You don't see punching me your dick because it put me on this Earth?" She snaps her jaw like a tiger. "Punching you in the face isn't gonna bring my mother back, un- my life and fix my problems. Being angry does nothing but mess with you. Makes you angry, for all the wrong things."

* * *

 **Did my best to push this chapter out for you guys. As always let me know what you think, reviews really motivate me and lets me know what you think so far. Plus anything you want to see more of.**

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	15. Chapter 15

_**Chapter 15**_

"How are you feeling today Raven?" Dr. Manson asked.

"Fine," she lied. Other than Janos's words infecting her mind, her PTSD episodes and meeting the distrusting Avengers, she did feel pretty normal.

Dr. Manson's red lips tightened for a brief moment, knowing she was lying. Instead of calling her out, she sighs, smoothening the lines in her light brown face. "I see. Tony is under another impression. He and Miss Potts are saying that you're becoming increasingly withdrawn."

"I've been in my art room," Raven protested tiredly.

"He also told you that you had a panic attack when confronted with some hurtful memories," she retorted. "That you are afraid of Captain America."

Raven recoils, smelling the smoke as the fire is being stoked. "I never said anything like that." Wanda read her mind, it's the only explanation. She pops her knuckles, one by one, in nervous fury.

"You reacted strongly when he wanted to speak to you. I would like to discuss that," she deadpans. "As well as your panic attacks."

"Well I don't want to," pouts Raven.

"Then you acknowledge that these events in fact happened, and they are things that should be discussed. Just not today."

Raven bits her lip, this is the last thing she wants to be dealing with. All she wants is to retreat back to art room, safe from everyone; nosy Avengers, useless Shield and cumbersome therapy. It's been roughly three months of quiet and now she's being dragged back into the fire. First with Janos and now with the Avengers. She wants to get better, be safe, but it feels like everyone wants to break her bones and forced them back in place. Over and over, twisting and pulling her. Until she's the shape they want.

"I said I don't want to…"

"Raven, you're allowed to express yourself here," Dr. Manson pleas. "You aren't going to be punished or faced with repercussions."

"Oh yeah?" Raven snaps all patience and self-control gone. "Pray tell what inspired your topics of the day? I had a shitty day and people went poking about in my head. My private thoughts, without my permission and now everyone knows my bloody business! And you really think this session is going to stay between us? Ha!" She barks. "Everyone's going to discussing it over tea and cakes by the end of the week."

"Is that what you think?" Dr. Manson prods. "That everyone is going to be gossiping about your mental stability."

"Or lack of it, apparently."

This was worse than she thought. Raven is regressing from the Avengers's unplanned visit. Terrified at these breathing triggers prying her open like fresh fruit. They openly suspect her of trickery and she's becoming hostile because of it. Dr. Manson attempts to calm Raven, reminding her to think clearly.

"Raven," she begins, "could the reason of this insistence of information could be from a lack of cooperation on your part? From the Avengers point of view, they suspect you have something that could help them against Hydra. Along with the fact that you haven't been exactly forthright about your life at Hydra. Could you, at least try, to see things from their point of view?"

She folds her arms, eyes squeezed shut. It's not like she hasn't thought of it, but she's tired of being accommodating. What was she supposed to get out of this, protection? That was already proven a faulty gift. Hydra has infiltrated New York, she's at risk. No last minute protection is going to make up for that. Janos's warning echoes from the darkest part of her mind.

"No," she shakes her head. "I won't."

"Raven…"

"No!" She shouts. "Why do I have to be the bigger person? They're the adults, let them put themselves in my shoes. I've gone through so much shit just to get some peace, and now you want me to put myself out for…" She inhales sharply, "I didn't ask for any of this. I was left behind," her fists clench, "and forgotten by everyone I ever helped. Did I complain, did I start running my mouth? No. All I wanted to get out of this fight I didn't sign up for. All they want to do is take and take, and let other people stick me back together."

She stands up, "Well, they can go to hell! The lot of them. I'm sick of people of twisting my arm to get information out of me. No one cared about me until they got information out of me. No one gave a shit if I lived or died, until they figured I was worth something. I am fed up with people thinking they could just bang on the door, hold out their hands and get something!" She straight up kicks the glass top table, tipping it over, breaking it.

As Dr. Manson shrinks back from the destruction, Raven makes her way to door. Ripping the door open she storms out the office. It's by this time Dr. Manson gets up to run after her. She shouts futilely for her to wait, stop and don't be rash. But Raven is already in the elevator and the doors slide shut. As it goes down she gathers herself in deep, harsh breaths. All her life she put herself aside for peace's sake. Forgave Janos despite how the mere sight of her back fills her with repulsion. Played along with Hydra so it would livable. Never ran away because so many things were better here than there. Now she says no, and it's a problem? It wasn't fair.

The minute she hits the lobby Raven goes the opposite direction from where Tony usually came from. It doesn't matter walking back to the Tower will take forever, she's too angry to care. This is the first time she's stormed off to catch some air since Russia. It was her go-to remedy when work at Hydra got too much. Going to cafes, bookstores and parks. Or call Eun Gi, but that didn't feel like an option right now. She had yet to text her back. Maybe she saw the footage from the gala and hated her. Actually being alone was worse than feeling alone.

Raven went to the closest park, sitting down and watching everyone around her. Children playing, parents chatting, dogs fetching toys. This was almost the life she had. Her last foster family had trips to the neighborhood park. Pushing her on the swings and going for ice cream on the way back. Real cookie cutter stuff. She'd give anything to go back to that time, just for a day. Where she could be a kid, without knowing who her father was and how blind the world could be. Ride her bicycle, play with the neighborhood kids and climb trees. When she was loved, without strings attached. Raven inhaled sharply, eyes tingling with lurking tears, remembering how her foster father would hold her hand. It was the only thing she allowed in terms of physical contact. Hands without calluses like her mum's boyfriend. Acting more as a hook than squeezing. He'd hold her hand, ask her how was school and let her talk about anything or say nothing at all. He'd read the paper, and keep very still when she came near. Sometimes he would give her the comics section. Did he miss her? Did anyone wonder what happened to her?

If she could choose between knowing Tony and having that life, she'd pick the latter without a doubt. Some things weren't worth suffering to find out.

"Raven?"

She groaned, rolling her eyes. Can't I be moody in peace? "Go away."

Bucky Barnes, was holding two cloth bags filled with groceries, hair up in bun of all things. It must be so nice being feared, she thought bitterly. To be able to roam about and wondering if was the day you died. How many days you had left. Immediately she grimaces at her thought. Bucky suffered too, just differently.

"Shouldn't you be at therapy?"

The fact he knows makes her shout, "Yeah, and?" This is what she was talking about, everyone knows her business, despite Dr. Manson promising her privacy.

He doesn't budge. "Stark know you're here?" It's a stupid question so he expands, "He'll be looking for you." He holds both bags in his metal hand and reaches for her, "I'll take you back."

Raven slaps his hand away, "Don't touch me!" She stands up, "Are you deaf? I said leave me alone. I'll go back when I feel like and if I get shot in the street then oh well!"

Bucky's hand remains in mid-air until she's had her say. It drops to his side but he doesn't leave her, instead he stays until she realizes that she's coming with him. Some way or another. Raven lets out a short frustrated cry, throwing her head back and stamping her foot.

"All I want is be left alone," she says to Bucky, a last plea to help him to understand. "I just need a couple minutes without people all up in my shit okay?" His faces softens and for a moment she thinks he will leave her be. Instead he extends his hand once more.

"Me and Steve gotta place with Sam in the Bronx, you can stay there a while."

She sees Captain America staring at her with disapproval. Using it against her, to prove how unstable she is and that she needs to be watched. Raven vehemently insists, "No! I'm staying here," and she plops back down on the ground to prove her point. "Just leave me alone," she hisses.

Bucky joins her, nothing is going to shake him. "Why don't you like Steve? He's a good guy." He digs his hand inside the bag and hands her an apple. "He isn't going to hurt ya."

Taking a huge bite out the apple she murmurs, "Don't talk about what you don't wanna hear." She won't bad mouth Steve to Bucky, he has nothing to do with it. She chews angrily, because yet again her simplest requests are so freaking unreasonable. I just want to be alone, she thinks. Why can't anyone leave me alone? He tenses as she anticipated when she hints at his friend's flaws. Steve is his best friend and his anchor. Insulting him is an insult onto him.

"He's not like the person in Hydra who hurt you."

Remembering that Wanda handed out information about her thoughts like trading cards makes her nasty. "Not to you." Operative Shin loved his wife, whom he rescued from North Korea. She was his support, believed in him to deliver them to a better life. His children were only ways to cement their legacy and make his wife proud. Madame Lee wept when she heard what her beloved husband did.

"Then tell me about him, the guy he reminds you of."

"Oh, you don't want to hear that story."

"I do," he nudges her arm. "C'mon, I'm a big boy."

There was a small smirk on her face, before it disappeared. "Fine, if it's not you someone is gonna beat it out of me later. He did this," she pointed to the scar on her face, under her eye. "Stabbed me in the face. He was aiming for my neck but I scratched him in the face, so he missed."

"Why did he do it?"

"I got in his way and he didn't like that very much," she shuddered. "He was doing an experiment, an unsanctioned experiment. I knew he was planning it, so the second I heard of when and where, I crashed the party. Got this and some other fetching bruises," she mocked her injuries. "Man damn near broke my face."

"Steve would never do anything like that."

"I know but… he acts like him." She hugs herself. "Was a military type like him, same attitude and the way he looks at me… Smells the shit on my feet. Sees the blood on my hands," she snarls through grit teeth.

Bucky hears her genuine fear, and the guilt. He tries to comfort her. "Hey, Steve gets ahead of himself but he's not some Hydra thug. He would never do something like that," he points her face, finger quaking. "To a freaking kid."

Raven pats his arm, appreciating his attempt to get through to her. "He doesn't like me though. You can't say not. I don't get mixed up with people who don't like me, it's how I've made it this far." She rubs her face. "Every horrible this has happened to me twice. I don't plan on running into a man like – that, if I can help it."

"He's not like that," Bucky is desperate to convince her. She isn't making sense and he has no head for riddles. "He's not Hydra." He grabs her hand, urging her to give Steve a second chance. "He just doesn't know you yet, is all."

"You don't know me either," Raven points out. "You know the little girl who would slip candy in your mouth so you got to eat solid food. Who put socks on your feet and wrap you in a blanket when you came out cryostasis. Who told you stories about her old neighborhood… You don't know the girl who grew up." She slides her hand out his, unaware of the fading scar from the knife she stuck in her palm.

Bucky sees it, his flesh finger rubs it. "Where did this come from?" He already knows but he asks anyway. He was Raven once, afraid of all these new allies, paranoid about if this would all work out, wishing for death because it was all easier. "Raven…"

"I was thinking about something and cut myself," she pulls her hand away. "It was one time thing, so don't look at me like that."

"Like what?"

"Like you're gonna cry, or some shit. If you're gonna sit here and annoy me, you can't cry about anything. Or make faces like that! I can't stand people who cry… I'm shit with criers."

"Okay," he nods palming his face. Whatever he was feeling, he punched it into the dirt. "So what was the experiment? Enhanced people like the twins?"

"… You don't wanna know."

"What?" He scoffs. "More Winter Soldiers?" He says it out of ludicrosity, but Raven's face goes grim. His heart drops and for a brief second he's back in Russia, having his arm sawed off. "No…No no no no no no no. How many?"

"Just one…" Raven says slowly. "She's fine, all things considered. I got there before they could give her this bootleg serum."

"And her memories?"

"It wasn't that type of procedure," Raven vaguely explains. "They wanted her compliant, not to forget who she was…"

Bucky covers his mouth, before reaching for a bottle of water from his grocery bag. He takes long, loud gulps. "So, you saved two Soldiers, plus the twins… You're practically an Avenger."

It's a hollow attempt to lighten the mood. She snorts, "Shut your gob. I don't stick out my neck for just anybody. She was…" Raven's voice fades and her eyes flood with tears. "She didn't deserve that. She was… She was… Oh god," she sniffles. All the emotion and panic she was smothering bubbles to the surface. "I don't think I ever had a good cry about it either. I was busy taking care of her, getting rid of bodies and research. I never had a time to cry."

"How old were you?" Bucky can't point fingers on this. If it were him he would have killed them too. Sometimes he dreams about it, killing the scientists who went unpunished.

When Raven says, "Fourteen." Genuine shock and horror dawns on his face. She was child, on her own doing what the Avengers should have done. Saving someone's life, while burying the program far from sight. No wonder Steve was suspicious of her, Raven poked holes in Hydra's boats and hid the drill. She had been sabotaging them since she rescued him. The kid was more like Natasha than they thought. But fourteen was too young for that much blood, to have a knife plunged in your face. Never even got a chance to let herself feel the pain.

"And then at fifteen you got locked up," Bucky adds. "Tortured and had to save yourself. You never caught a break, did ya?"

She shakes her head, blubbery tears streaking down her face. "Still haven't." She fights to stop it, like a good soldier. The more she fights it, the harder it hits. She hunches over her knees, hugging them as she lets the quiet shakes flow. "And I never will," she weeps.

Bucky reaches out and hugs her, it's all her can do. No amount of words could express how sorry he was. For the twins not telling the Avengers about her sooner. Him forgetting her and doubting his memories. Her doing their job for them when she was too young to have that weight on her shoulders. In the same moment he holds her, it clicks. Raven was more of a fighter than she let on, and she had been in fight mode so long she was stuck in it.

Steve needs to know, he can help, Sam too. Bucky could at last make it up to her.

"You wanna come over for lunch?" He tries not to react to her soft tears. "Sam can call Tony and he'll pick you up later?"

She relents and nods. Lifts up and wipes her face, as though it's sweat from a hot day. "Only because I don't want Tony to get mad at you," she grumbles.

* * *

"What happened?" Commented Steve when Bucky finally came back. "You got lost on the way?"

He hears an awkward shuffle as the door closes. Did something happen? It's been a while since Bucky's previous panic attack. Turning from the couch in Sam's apartment living room, he sees Raven Rocher holding one of the grocery bags. He's forever amazed that someone barely old enough to drive and too young to drink, survived Hydra. Too bad she's full secrets and tricks that probably have teeth. He gives Bucky a questioning look.

"She's staying for lunch," Bucky announces. "And you better let Stark know, he's probably looking for her."

"He's what?" He turns to Raven who scowls at him.

"I skipped therapy and he's probably off having a coronary."

She's feistier than Howard or Tony. Compared to their pain-in-the-neck personality Raven seems either defensive or a touch away from breaking. He prefers this mood over her being passed out from a panic attack. The whole small dog with a big spirit thing is up his alley.

"I see," he folds his arms. As if Tony wasn't pissed enough at him sparking Raven's panic attack. On top of that he heard Natasha warn him to keep away until Tony gave a green light. He heard how she had been regressing to how she was when they first found her. Withdrawn, frightened and antagonistic. And now Raven is in their apartment, sullen like a kid drug home by the ear for playing in the rough side of the block. Tony is eager to protect her but Raven looks ready to throw down if he gives her the slightest lip. "Guess I'll go do that."

Even though he's several paces from her when he moves, Raven makes way in her orbit. Wanda's insight hardly explains why she's so spooked by him. Is she so confused and out of sorts she's mixing up faces and memories? Bucky and Sam are good with that but Steve doesn't know why Bucky brought her here. As he goes for the phone, Bucky instructs Raven to start putting up the groceries and figure out what she wants to eat. He then corners Steve, out of her earshot.

"You gotta talk to her Steve," he downright begs. "I think we can help her – we gotta."

"Wait a second," he whispers. "What are you talking about Buck?"

"Raven," he says in a hushed tone. "I can help her. She's like me, a soldier," he rambles. "She's not here in her head, she's still at Hydra and that's why you and Sam gotta help me."

"Woah, woah," Steve glances at the phone in his hand, punching numbers. "Where is all of this coming from?"

"She ran out on therapy and I found her, we talked. God Stevie, we had her all wrong. She was like a double-agent, sabotaging Hydra and helping people. You can help her, that's why I brought her here."

Steve is up to speed and trying to get Bucky to brake. "Buck, Tony gave specific instructions for us to give Raven space. She's not doing so good, Tony's calling the shots on this. He's her dad. She's a minor, a kid. Different rules apply." He has to convey how they're crossing boundaries on tender ground. How no matter how much they want to help, it's not so simple.

"Stark doesn't get it." Bucky dismisses his warning. "You and Sam got through to me, maybe you two can – I don't know, put another crack in her?"

"She has a therapist who's legally allowed to put cracks in her." Steve has no idea what exactly Bucky and Raven bonded over, but it's got him revving. He wants to payback Raven for helping him get out of Hydra. Steve too, owes the teenage genius a couple favors but they can't do as they like. Raven is a minor, a child who needs special gloves. One false step and she might break, permanently. What Bucky wants to do will make Tony put on his suit and throttle them. Probably break the shield in two and shove the pieces up their asses.

"But we can help her." Bucky won't let it go. He can't. "She needs someone to trade war stories with. Who can take the bad and tell her some messed up things too."

"Telling a teenager ugly war stories is not on the table."

"Well," he huffs, "we'll listen to hers. Please," he all but clasps his hands together. "I really got a good feeling about this." He pulls Steve close, "She was crying Stevie, crying. She needs this, needs us."

* * *

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	16. Chapter 16

_**Chapter 16**_

Steve braced himself when he called Tony. Raven was probably walking for an hour before Bucky found her. Her therapist was specifically chosen to be nearer to the Tower and their HQ, than their Brooklyn home away from home. Tony must be rightfully going out of his mind. When he heard where she was, he might have the coronary Raven predicted.

"What do you want Rogers?" Barked Tony when he answered the phone.

Yup, he's mad. "Hello to you too," Steve muttered. "I just want to let you know that Raven's with me. Bucky found her in a park somewhere. She's fine," he adds.

There's no nice way to say, yeah we found your daughter was crying in the park so we took her home without immediately calling you. A small, selfish part of him doesn't want to disturb her and Bucky's bonding session. He doesn't mention her crying, or Bucky's eureka moment. The rest of him rationalizes that needs to be saved for a face to face discussion.

Tony is speechless. He all but ordered Steve to keep away from Raven. Accusing him of setting back her recovery because he couldn't "control" Bucky. It was an ugly exchange. Some of which Bucky overheard. Bucky slept on the couch for three whole days. Refusing to go jogging with him and Sam. He felt rotten for scaring Raven. And now the two are planning a lunch like nothing happened, for Raven anyways. She was utterly at ease with Bucky. At least she didn't hold grudges.

"I'm coming over," he states flatly.

"Don't," Steve says without thinking.

"Excuse me?" He bellows.

"Listen, she's fine. Really. She and Bucky are making lunch." It's a lie because they're still thinking about it, but Tony doesn't need to know that. "Come for her in an hour or so."

"I don't want him around her, Rogers. Or have you forgotten the last time they had some alone time?"

Bucky is "him" now, it really gets to Steve. Bucky is his best friend. There is no one in the world he cares for more. He's been through hell and back, and only wants forgiveness for the things he was ordered to do. But all everyone see is the Winter Soldier, the gun Hydra made. Raven doesn't, thank god, he thinks tiredly. She's all forgive and forget. Tony should learn a thing or two from her.

"Raven isn't complaining," Steve snaps under his breath. "She isn't having a panic attack, she and Bucky are talking in the kitchen. Do you really think I'd endanger a child to prove a point?"

"You really don't want me to answer that," warns Tony. "We all know the things you'd do for Barnes."

Steve can hear Pepper faintly in the background. Finally, someone who's reasonable. Tony won't let go of the past. He can't stop seeing the Winter Soldier, who was ordered to murder his parents, as Bucky. It haunts him the same way like the shock of seeing Bucky's face under the Winter Soldier's mask. But to accuse him of using Raven, even out of anger makes his jaw twitch.

"Fine," Tony grumbles. "I'll come by later, and I swear to god Steve, if she so much as twitches…"

The threat is most ferocious Steve has ever heard Tony. Usually all his jabs come with a light humor which makes the other person furious. This is precisely what he warned Bucky about. Tony will unleash hell if Raven is distressed. He's confident that won't be the case today. Still he makes a note to tame any more of Bucky's harebrained schemes.

"Just trust me," Steve pleas.

"Don't hold your breath." And he hangs up.

Steve doesn't even hear Raven behind him until he puts the phone down on the coffee table. She's doing exactly what puts Tony on edge, her twitching mannerisms. Twisting her fingers like they're boneless, biting her lip and avoiding his gaze. Faced with it Steve can see why it bothers Tony. No one has done a thing to her yet she's ready to jump out the window.

"He's cross at me isn't he?" She murmurs.

A soft smile appears on his face. It's always her fault, one way or another. Never anyone else because it has to be her. Steve can't tell if it's somewhat endearing or if he should be concerned. Bucky had a period of odd behaviors too. Steve stops comparing the two to get up and join the party in the kitchen. The way she just steps, a whole foot to the right, giving him three times the space fills him with guilt. She does her best to hide the way her eyes linger on his fists. He does his best to smile at Raven. It only brings out a frown, and another baby step back. His smile falls, she's thinks I might hurt her.

"He's not," he tells her. "He's saving that for us."

Steve knows what it's like to be small and beat on. From school yards to back alleys, everyone took swings at him. The only difference with him and Raven is that she found herself in fights, he readily walked into them. He feels abruptly self-conscious of his appearance, in her eyes.

She hums thoughtfully at what he said, she knows something. Does she know about Howard and Maria Stark? That would explain why doesn't seem surprised at the shift of blame. And why she is annoyed by it. She must have had records to his victims, or maybe Pierce told her himself. No, he stops himself. I'm not messing up Bucky's lunch date.

Seeing the conversation is over she retreats back to the kitchen. Steve lets her go first, so she can have pick of where she wants to stand. There's tug in his cheek when he sees go right beside Bucky who examining two cans of something.

"How do you feel about tuna pasta?" Raven murmured showing him the two cans of tuna.

"You want to cook?" Steve didn't expect that since she's the guest. He spied out the spread of ingredients she laid out; pasta, cans of tuna, garlic, onion, spinach, tomatoes and a chili pepper. She searched the cabinets for additional things, barely registering that he spoke. "You might have to make a lot, for Sam when he comes home," he adds.

Realizing that all these men live together makes her eyes glow, like she's realized something. Whatever is it she doesn't mention it to their faces. Steve almost wants her to say something, to break the ice a little. "I'm used to cooking for a bunch of guys," she remarks.

Bucky who is now beginning to vividly recall in his army days, compares the information. "You were the cook?" He cocks his brow trying to picture Raven in a battalion, serving hungry troops.

"Best way to get out of the lab," she begins to fill a pot with water. "And I like cooking."

"It's relaxing," Bucky bobs his head knowingly. Meager tasks like making breakfast helped with his PTSD. See? His eyes say. We know how to help.

Steve rubs the corners of his eyes, Buck was not letting this go. "What's your favorite thing to cook?" He inquires, just to make Buck happy. He doesn't want to risk setting off Raven especially since Tony was furious at Bucky wanting to spend a little time her. Buck has accepted Tony is going to hate him, possibly until his dying breath. But he wants to help Raven more than anything.

"Cupcakes," she says with a smile. "But no grown man wants to eat freaking cupcakes."

"I like cupcakes," Bucky readily volunteers.

Raven's smirk reminds him of Tony but her eyes are vastly different, more withdrawn and less welcoming. He never noticed that before. Unlike Bucky who had a feral edge to him, Raven resembles someone who's been beat down so much they can't take the slightest prod. And everyone wanted her at therapy, talking about her feelings when she wants to lie down and sleep. She's a loner and almost a stoic. Leaders can't share their emotions when commanding a questioning troop. Steve had moments like that himself, doubt in his gut when he gives an order. He can't imagine a little girl having to be strong and wise when she knows it's wrong, so wrong but has no choice. Her eyes aren't sad, now that he looks at her properly they're old and tired.

"When did you learn to cook?" Steve wonders.

The little light around her dims, "I was left alone a lot. Had no choice in the beginning."

"Oh yeah?" Steve forces himself to picture a little girl left to fend for herself. Lord knows it happened in the 40s too, but things were different. This wasn't a case of streets orphans, this was deliberate abandonment to turn Raven into a soldier. "From how young?"

"Nine," she states. "I could reach the high shelves and push chairs at that age." She lifts her arm showing a burn near her elbow. "Made crunchy french toast for the first time, burned myself while taking it out the oven."

Nine? Even Natasha had other kids around her in the Red Room at that age. Raven had nobody, or rather they purposefully left her by herself. It explains her not wanting to answer to anybody. She was very much her own boss, making her own decisions with the confidence to challenge someone. Steve wondered how much of this did Tony know, if he knew other things. Like her being locked up for helping Bucky.

"Okay," Raven claps her hands loudly. "Water's gonna be boiling in a few minutes. Time to chop the stuff and get a move on." She points to Steve, "Onion." To Bucky, "Garlic and I got the chili."

Steve smiled at her authoritative twang. Oh yeah, she called a lot of shots in Hydra. "Yes ma'am. Minced or diced?"

"Mince," she said slowly. His agreeability was putting her off, her shoulders coiled up at his cool tone. "It's going with the side dish." She points to the spinach, "We're gonna sauté that with the onions after everything because it'll cook the fastest and no one likes cold spinach."

"Growing boys need their greens," Bucky teased, winking at Steve.

Raven frowns, her nose wrinkles, crunching up like a pig's snout. Steve can't help it, he snickers. The teasing gets to her a little, though not in a way to make her bail out from cooking. For that she pulls out her iPod, putting it in Sam's speaker and selects music without asking them. Oh man, she thinks we made fun of her. Steve tries to stifle his laughter as she adjusts the volume on the speaker. Bucky's head tilts to one side at the sound of the French pop music. Raven looks scandalized they aren't immediately in love.

"You two never heard of Stromae?" They blink stupidly. "Do you guys listen to any artists under forty-five?"

Bucky makes a hapless gesture, he's still a little new to everything. Steve doesn't want to influence him with his personal preferences. He's just coming out the reclusive phase and accepting he's in a new era. It took Steve some time to want to learn about this new century and all the things he missed. Hopefully with Raven he'll be on the fast track to opening up to this new world.

Raven groans, "Thank god I got playlists for days."

Within minutes of chopping and alternating between pots the tension between them dissolved. Stromae filled the room and soon Raven was stepping in time. Even Bucky began to bob with her. No matter what happened, Buck still loved to dance. Steve gave the two room while he supervised the pasta. Buck was acting a little like his old self, charming the girls. While Raven was acting more like a kid. At least he could brag that the lunch date wasn't a complete disaster. He even mulls over the words, Raven catches him testing out this new vocabulary. He knows some French, speaks it well enough to be understood by Native speakers. Not to Raven's standards, sadly. His French is appalling to her trained ears.

"Jesus, is it something with you two, that you can't speak any foreign language properly."

Steve finds her genuine gaul entertaining. "I never heard anyone complain."

"Probably because no one wants to tell Captain America, he sounds like he's in secondary school." She turns to Bucky. "And I thought your Russian was rough."

"Are you an expert on French?" Steve teases. "A francophile?"

Her voice tightens. "My mother was French. I know it better than Gaelic."

For half a breath Steve and Bucky think this is the end of their lunch. They've stepped on tender ground. Instead Raven takes a stabilizing breath because Steve couldn't have known. Focusing back on her taste of preparing the chili to her standards.

"Listen," she instructs. Without a second thought she switches to French, singing along to Stromae. Her Irish accent is virtually gone. No wonder Steve's French practically made her ears bleed. Her accent is perfect, like a native speaker. The fact she doesn't have to think about tailoring her personal speech pattern is impressive. And she's keeping tune as well.

"Well pardon my French." He tips his imaginary hat off to her.

He gets a ghost of a smile out of her. Bucky is ready to do a victory lap around the apartment complex. Since Raven is facing him he fights not to roll his eyes. Just because her got Raven to loosen up doesn't mean his plan is a wholly good idea.

* * *

"You need to calm down," Pepper tells him as they drive down the block to Steve's Brooklyn apartment.

"I am calm."

"Raven and Steve got to a rocky start but he isn't going to put an agenda before a child's safety." She goes on. "I know you aren't comfortable with Bucky Barnes but Raven cares about him, you need to respect that."

"I know…"

"So when we go up to the apartment, we try to not bring anymore elephants into the room."

He gently reminds her, "Raven had her meltdown after they brought up Steve and the Avengers. They're setting her off. She doesn't want to say anything but she's having an overload. A sensory overload. You saw how she was at the gala. People put her on edge, and when she saw Steve's number on my phone you saw how stiff she got." He rubs his head. "It was all too soon. I saw the signs and I ignored them."

"We aren't going to do this perfectly." Pepper squeezes his knee. "We understood that we were taking in an extremely complicated, and lack for a better word, damaged child. We agreed that it was going to be hard but that we are her best option. This," she makes a metaphorical gesture to their current situation, "is one of many bad days. Which is perfectly normal."

He sighs as he parks the car. "I just want… to help her, you know? Protect her and all that."

Pepper reaches over to plant a kiss on his cheek. "And you will."

Tony and Pepper came into the trio's Brooklyn apartment finding Raven, Sam, Steve and Bucky eating pasta. At the cramped table Raven ended up squashed between Sam and Bucky. They were laughing at something Raven said. Okay, that was weird, Tony thought. Dr. Manson said Raven was having another breakdown/panic attack, now she laughing with the people who caused the last one. He expected her to be a petulant house guest, skulking in the corner. Here she was having a freaking banquet with them. This week Raven was retreating into herself and now she was bright and chatty again. What did he miss?

"Hey look who's here," Steve announced.

Seeing him made Raven pipe down. To that hand-in-the-cookie-jar guilt, visibly shrinking like she was trouble. Which she wasn't – to an extent. He was worried, Pepper was worried. No matter what he did, how nice he was or accommodating, Raven swung back and forth out of his reach. Pepper got through to her, Clint and Natasha as well, but Bucky? Who triggered her into fainting. What was he doing wrong?

"Don't mind us," he grumbled. "We're a little late."

His tone made Raven bow her head over her food. No, he wanted to shout, don't do that – I didn't mean to say it like that. But it was too late. He pinched his nose bridge, sighing mutely to himself. I can fix this. I can fix this. This is first time she's smiled in days, don't mess it up.

"What's that you're eating?" He asks for conversation sake.

"Raven made the best pasta tuna I've ever had," Sam filled him in. "She was just telling us how she used to cook for a lot of the guys at Hydra… And I gotta say," he takes a blissful bite, "she's got the touch."

Raven lifts her head enough to go red.

"Made the best borscht," Bucky adds.

"You remember my borscht?" Raven exclaimed. "I only gave it to you once, and only a cupful. Stop lying."

"Best goddamn borscht ever," he confirms. He stabs a mouthful of food on his fork. "I want a thermos of borscht along with those cupcakes."

Raven rolls her eyes, "I've gone from Hydra's cook to the Avengers. Told you what I said about everything comes in twos for me," she says to no one in particular.

Pepper forces a smile, and comes to stand by Raven. She jumps when Pepper rests her hand gently on her head. "Okay, now I've got to have some," she says taking Raven's fork taking a bite. Her eyes goes wide and the men nod in unison. "Oh wow, you weren't kidding. Tony, try this."

Tony isn't easy to impress with food, he can barely cook on a good day. So when he steals food from Raven's plate. Who gives a weak, hey, in protest. He moans, he had no time to have any food with her going AWOL. It's a gracious balm on his burning gut, and the best pasta he's ever had. His eyes spy the leftovers in the pots and pans. He's not leaving without a plate of that. Grabbing two plates for himself and Pepper, he makes their plates. Raven and Sam, the smaller of the crowd makes room on their chairs.

"You made this?" He's shoving bites into his mouth. They're crammed together on a chair so there's no hiding her silent pride when she nods. "You so have to cook more often." Boldly he throws his arm around her neck, slapping a messy kiss in her hair. "This is great."

Raven beams all through the lunch/early dinner. Whatever he's mad about has been forgiven. Feeling safe she doesn't fight when it's time to leave. She says goodbye to the guys, giving Bucky a big hug before catching up to Tony and Pepper. His smile is sweet and youthful, and he carefully hugs her back conscious of his strength. Raven won't say it, but Tony suspects she more than cares about Bucky. He spares Bucky a neutral glance, nodding his head in a silent thank you. Despite their differences he helped Raven, made her feel safe. Something he was sucking at lately. Dr. Manson said Raven broke a table, she was getting paranoid about what people thought about her and her mental state. Like any teenager she was self-conscious about what people thought about her, times a hundred. Coupled with her distrust from being hurt so many times before. Her blowing up was probably how she felt most of the time.

"We need to talk," Steve tells him lowly.

Raven is still chatting with Sam and Bucky, so he steps aside to talk to Steve. They go down the hall, out of earshot. Pepper sees them walking side by side and blocks the view from Raven. Tony expects Steve is going to give it him about how wrong he is about Bucky, for the millionth time. He goes an entirely different route.

"It's about Raven," he begins to say. "I didn't want to tell you on the phone, in case you got the wrong idea. When Bucky found Raven in the park, she wasn't just sitting there. She was crying."

"What?" He hissed. He catches his volume, wary of Raven being right there. "About what?"

"I don't know." He rubs the back of his head. "Buck stayed with her and calmed her down. They talked for a bit and he wanted you to know some things."

"Oh what, he wants to giving me fatherly advice?" Tony spits.

Steve sighs. "This is why I didn't want to tell you on the phone. He thinks Raven is more than an abused child, he says she's more like a soldier." Tony gives him an incredulous look. Steve ignores it and keeps talking, "Look, why do you think she hardly ever talks about anything? Why she breaks apart when you make her talk? It's what soldiers do. They keep going and going no matter how much it hurts, and it's only when you make them stop when all that pain and doubt bubbles over. Tell me Raven isn't like that?" He challenged. "They were training her to be the director of Hydra, a leader. Not just a scientist or mechanic."

Tony can't say anything. He holds his head by the hair because it makes sense. The way she blew up at Dr. Manson. She was the sweetest and quietest thing when you didn't push her. Then she pushed back or tipped over. "Alright… I'll give you that, with not so gracious reluctance. So what, you wanna be her therapist now? Shares war stories over drinks?"

"Will you just stop?"

"She's afraid of you Rogers. I know it doesn't make sense, but that's the way it is."

"I know," he sighed. "I saw it in her eyes." He looks at his hands, "She keeps watching them like I'm gonna try something. She won't stand near me unless someone is between us. Hell, it even put me on edge."

"Yeah, she has that affect on people." He sighs, "She did it with me at first, at the farmhouse. Twitching like you just pulled her out of an ice bath."

"Then why are you giving me such a hard time, then?" Steve snaps.

"Because that's when she's shy. She's afraid to sneeze around you." Tony shrugged without much sympathy, "I'm just trying to do what's best for her. You barged into the Tower, knowing she's fragile and now you gotta pay the piper. She's wasn't ready to even think about Shield or the Avengers, you knocked her ten steps back."

Steve rolls his shoulders. Tony was right, maybe Raven wasn't ready to meet them. Confident enough to know they weren't going to hurt her. It's how Tony pins the blame, twisting it that gets him. "This is really about Bucky isn't it? You didn't want him anywhere near her."

"Can you blame me? You dragged all of us through hell and back to save your little bunk buddy, and you were ready to come for me when I did the same for Raven. Who's the hypocrite Rogers? That man," he snarls, "murdered my family and I'm just supposed to get over it?"

"He's always ready to apologize. Even though it was Hydra who made him do it," he adds tightly.

Tony gives Steve a stern glare. "So everyone has to feel what you say they should feel?"

"That's not I meant and you know it." Steve got into his face. "I'm only going to say this once, Bucky cares about Raven. He would give his other arm to help her, and Raven likes him. She cared enough to risk her safety and withstand bodily harm to save him, to give him a chance to start over. Buck and I owe her a debt that we may never pay in full. So despite what you believe about what I think about Raven, I want to help her. Because she's a kid, and she protected my best friend when he didn't know me. Me and her might never be friends but that's fine, because unlike you she sees the good in Bucky."

Tony opened his mouth to say something but he saw Raven was wrapping up her goodbyes. He smoothens his clothes, shaking off the lingering aura of animosity. "You're always ready to start drama Rogers," he says with a goading smirk. Without waiting to see if Steve would give him another speech, he walks back to the girls. "Ready to go?" He smiles, convincingly suave.

* * *

In the car, driving back in Manhattan is like being in a silent movie. No one is saying a word. Raven has filled her quota of idle chit chat and Pepper knows he and Steve had a not-so civil talk. The only thing left to do is discuss the events of the day. As much as Tony would rather not stir up anymore trouble. He's dad now, he has to be a regular party pooper. "You know we have to talk about what happened," he said as Pepper gave him the signal.

They thought of a game plan after Steve called. As much as they didn't want to push Raven too far, her tantrums were getting violent. She could hurt herself or someone. They had to talk to her on their own and gauge how to deal with these outbursts. What if she ran off and got hurt? What if Bucky didn't find her? What if some rouge Hydra member found her?

In the car, as Tony drove Raven fidgeted in the backseat. "Yeah…" He made sure all the doors were locked in case she bolted again. His PTSD had been less lashing out and running off, and more nightmares and crippling panic attacks. "I broke Dr. Manson's table."

"The table isn't important," Pepper injected. "What is important is that you were so angry, that you felt you had to do that." She turned around, reaching for Raven's hand. She took it. "We can only understand if you tell us."

Raven took a deep breath, "I don't like talking about… certain things."

"Hydra stuff?" Tony ventured.

She made an affirmative noise. "I did a lot of things I shouldn't have. But I always have a reason for doing it, a good reason."

"You mean at Hydra?" Tony comes to red light and turns his head to stare into Raven's eyes. She avoids his gaze immediately. "Princess," he says, "you're talking to a guy who made a fortune off of killing people. No judgement."

"I buried someone alive," Raven deadpans. "Dug a grave in the middle of nowhere and pushed him in. Covered his head last, when the sedative was wearing off a little. Waited eight hours to make sure he wouldn't crawl out."

Tony hides his pause well. "Is that the worst thing you did?"

"It's in the top five… I wasn't ordered to do it. I did it because I wanted to – felt I had to."

"What did he do?"

"Hurt people," Raven said. "He hurt my best friend and I thought he should know that wasn't going to fly. That she was last person he was ever going to hurt."

There's a steel in her voice that would have shaken his father to his toes. A mean streak laced with venom. Along with a sadness but not for a taking a life. All her grief laid with the fact her best friend was hurt. Tony couldn't imagine a single thing about this best friend. Raven was such a loner wolf, she didn't seem the type who craved companionship. Plus, how did she even make friends in a place like Hydra?

"Did she die?" Pepper wondered.

"No, but she… they did someone awful to her. I was almost too late." Raven pulled her hand away to hold herself. "I don't want Shield knowing what Hydra tried doing to her. She went through much to be okay again, I don't want her going through something like that again. People messing with her head, putting her on a platform to be stared at."

"What happened to her?" Pepper asked. "That Shield would want to know?"

Raven covers her face, dragging her hands down to her chest. Oh man, she's fighting just to say it. It's cutting her up like she's reliving it all in those few seconds of contemplation. "She was supposed to be the next Winter Soldier." Raven inhaled deeply. "I told Bucky, and you should have seen the look on his face… You could imagine what someone else might do, or think."

Tony turned his eyes back to the road, thankful for the lack of eye contact. "They were trying to make more of them? And you, just you, pulled the plug on it?"

"Yeah," she nodded. "I was fourteen. I don't like talking about it."

Tony's mouth ran dry, bile churned in his gut and into the back of his throat. Fourteen years old, he tried picturing a smaller, younger Raven with fresh scars protecting someone. Doing something she knew might get her killed because it was right. Sure her moral boundaries were all over the place, but she knew what was right and wrong. Still… she was a kid, a baby, slaying the dragon with nothing but her courage.

"Is that why don't want to tell us about Hydra? Because you want to protect your friend?" Pepper touched her knee, patting it.

"Friends." She clearly uses the plural. "I got no right to out them because I'm under a safety blanket. Especially when they kept their mouth shut about the things I did." She turns her head toward the tinted window. "I don't even know if they'll want to be my friends anymore, since I'm…" She gestures toward Tony.

"They don't know you're Tony's daughter," Pepper says for his benefit. "They'd be mad at you for lying to them?"

"No," Raven says quickly. "Maybe. I don't know. I'm not the best at asking for help, then and now. Maybe this is the straw to break the camel's back." She makes this small noise, like she wants to cry. But she won't let herself. Howard Stark would have been proud. Tony wasn't half as hardened as Raven made herself.

He has to say something or he's just like his father. Tony thinks of the perfect thing to tell her. He can actually give good advice. Rhodey is so getting a great Christmas present this year. "If this is business as usual, they'll get over it. Though I can't say they won't give you a piece of their minds. So you know to do better."

"What if they hate me for lying?"

"You didn't mean to hurt them did you?" Tony says, "You had a good reason. Right?"

"I wasn't ready to talk about it," she admits. "I didn't want to worry anyone."

It's always about everyone else. Raven is never the focal point of any her problems. Her friends must be protected, asses need to covered, revenge must be served and the job needs to be done. There's not time or energy to care for herself. Or was that her friends's job?

"Well, then, there you go. You had good intentions."

It's a good thing Tony's used to driving in distracted conditions. Without any sound or warning, Raven leaps and hugs him from the backseat. Her arms wrap around his neck, head on his shoulder, squeezing. It's the first time she wants a hug so Tony rations his breath, to make the moment last. Without the subtle nudging in the back of his head. If Raven has friends, where are they and when will he be expecting a visit?

* * *

 **This is possibly the longest chapter I wrote. I hope it's not too long, but it felt wrong to split it up. I try not to go over 4k, depending on what's going on.**

 **So I read the last bunch of reviews and everything is duly noted, and thank you so much to everyone who gave me feedback and saw my CW undertones. I am TeamStopFighting.**

 **I really do love hearing from you guys, so keep the reviews coming and don't be afraid to let me know what you think. Even if you PM me. Until next time,**

 **Anotherscribe.**


	17. Chapter 17

I'm sorry this chapter took so long guys. I was recovering from Civil War...

* * *

 _ **Chapter 17**_

Tony decided after everything, Raven needed a break from her schedule. He never realized how she strictly adhered to the informal schedule they gave her. Going to therapy, staying indoors, meeting the Avengers. Without a peep she obeyed, despite never saying something like, oh, it's fine. Maybe deep down she wanted to tell him off, or go outside. It never occurred to him. Well, mostly because he was intimidated by her very existence. If he picked up anything from the fiasco with Steve, Raven needed some air, someone to talk to. Hence this little surprise he planned for her.

"We're gonna play hokey today," he grandiosely announced in the car.

"Huh? So we're not going to Dr. Manson today?"

"Did you not hear me? We're ditching everything today. You're not going to therapy and my phone is off to everyone – except Pepper, of course." He nudged her arm. "Where do you want to go first?"

She instantly drew a blank. "I don't know."

"Aw c'mon! There has to be somewhere you want to go, you're in New York!" She was less afraid of human interaction than when he first met her, but Raven still kept herself behind a steel wall. Especially when asking for things. Bucky scratched at it, Tony wanted to pry it open.

"Uhhh, the Museum of Modern Art?"

Tony made an agonized sound. "Seriously? A museum? We have the day to ourselves, money at our disposal, and you wanna walk around a museum." He adjusted his shades to hide his bemused stare. He expected her to say something more… juvenile. At least Pepper will be relieved that one Stark wasn't stroke inducing.

At least she laughed at his masked disappointed. "I just wanna see one thing, then you can pick the next spot."

"Oh?" How mysterious. "And pray tell what, one thing, is there in the entire museum you want to see?"

"It's Vincent Van Gogh's Starry Night. Don't laugh," she pleaded. "It's the only one that isn't in his museum in Amsterdam."

"You've been to the Vincent Van Gogh Museum?" This is interesting and informative. She's really into art – clearly, and has an obvious favorite. He knows a lot of things about Raven by now. Though not enough to satisfy himself into thinking he truly knows her. He knows how she likes her coffee, her favorite teas, her favorite color, that she loves origami, blood sausage and baking. She plays the piano and the guitar, can draw and read for hours. Yet it feels he's barely breached this bottomless ocean.

"Like ten times!" She exclaims eagerly. "I mostly go there when I'm sad," she adds quietly. "I was kinda obsessed with him when I was little. Blue and yellow were my favorite colors, so when I saw Starry Night, I feel in love. Plus when I learned he was super depressed, I got in my head that we would have been good friends. My foster mother used to joke that I had a thing for gingers."

Tony pictures a small Raven seeing Vincent Van Gogh's portrait and wanting to be friends with the lonely, tortured artist. Did she have any friends her own age? Tony had no such luck himself with kids his own age. Sure he had big social circles, but Rhodey was his only true friend. Whom he didn't meet until his college years. Was that why Raven was okay being inside all day?

"You never had any friends?"

"Oh sure. I was friends with the boy called Colin." Raven smiles warmly. "He thought we were destined to be best friends. He had red hair like Vincent Van Gogh."

"Destined huh? Don't tell me," he teases, "he also gave you your first Valentine."

"Ha ha. It was because both our names ended in Ns and had five letters in them." She scoffs, "Sadly I'm not as popular as you."

"You're kidding, because your names were similar?" He can't help but laugh. "And because he had orangey red hair. Oh my god that's adorable. So what did you and Colin do, your destined best friend?"

"Nothing fancy, ride our bikes around the neighborhood, play Pirates and Knights." Raven went into full nostalgia mode, leaning against the window. "We would play games with the neighborhood lads, like football and rugby matches. My foster mother used to pitch fits when I came home with the toughest grass stains in my school uniform. The P.E. teacher never let me run around because of my heart condition. But I loved running around, climbing trees, racing on my bike."

"You were a tomboy." Tony could get behind that. Raven never came off as uber girly, even when she had the chance to go all out. "Running around, scraping your knees."

"It wasn't that I didn't like dolls," Raven defended. "In one of my foster homes they gave me a bunch of dolls to play with. They took them away from me literally a week later." She explains sheepishly, "I made them look like my family so we could play house."

"Like your family?"

"Yup, so the Barbie had no face. Ken had bloody hands and the baby had a purple throat."

Her tone is so casual it encourages Tony to reply more honestly. "You leveled up the game for being creepy with Barbies. Were you one of those creepy kids who did scary drawings too?" She nods and Tony comically whistles.

"Oi," she slaps his arm. "It was a part of assessing my emotional and mental well being, I'll have you know. It's child psychology one-oh-one. And you try coping with your mother being murdered." There's a smile in her chastising but Tony goes still. Raven visibly shrinks back. "Sorry," she begins to say. "I…"

He doesn't question how she knows about his parents. Of course Hydra told her about that. She worked with Barnes after all. He doesn't let it ruin the mood. It actually has him a little nostalgic too. With Raven he can be grim, she welcomes it as a place of rectitude.

"My mom used to play the piano too," Tony tells her. "Stuffy classics, to entertain guests. While my dad mingled and did business."

Raven isn't at all solemn about this, she's hungry for more. Beaming in awe at the vague similarity. It's precisely the reaction he needs to keep talking. "Really, she played the piano too? What else?"

"She was Italian," he gladly tells her. "Didn't speak it much, tried teaching me some behind my dad's back. It didn't work out." In the corner of his eye he sees Raven's rapt attention. Was she looking for some connections too? He didn't like talking about his mother much, especially with Barnes around. It brought the grief back to the surface. With Raven it feels easier, he remembers nicer times. And maybe it was revisiting the pleasant side of his childhood, it pulls something out of the air. Something he just notices for the first time. "Had big brown eyes like you." It takes a little breath out of his lungs and caves his stomach. She looks my mom and Vivian.

Raven touches her face subconsciously. "… Really? You're not just saying that?"

He shakes his head. "I just noticed."

She's kind enough to let that soak in before she keeps the tempo going. "That means you have her eyes too," Raven quips. "Because my mum always said I had your eyes." Tony makes a baffled expression. Vivian was murdered when Raven was four, over her paternity no less. "She wrote you a letter but never sent it. Kept it in her jewelry box with this," she touches her horseshoe pendant. "It had a polaroid of the two of you it. She went on and on about how I was smart like you, cheeky like you, had big brown eyes like you. How she hoped we could meet one day." She confesses, "I read it a million times. It kinda stopped me from buying into the whole Hail Hydra thing. She said you were a good man under everything… And you what they say about mothers always being right." She finishes with a big smile, toothy and glowing.

Tony is grateful he has to concentrate on driving. It's rocky enough opening up about his mother. Now Raven breaks the door down with her own atom bomb. No one talks about his mom much, it's always about his dad. Just like Howard, this and that. Be like Howard, yada yada. To have Raven point out his eyes, with genuine matter-of-fact. Something no one has told him in years, it shakes him. He was supposed to be knocking down the walls and winning her over. With one swing she has wheedled into his heart and made room for herself.

The letter was probably how Raven's godmother knew about him. How she was going to tug on his heart strings to shove Raven into his arms. And Raven kept it all this time, rereading and rereading, trying to see the good in him like Vivian did. It stopped her from giving into Hydra. Not her own compass of right of wrong, because of a letter her mother kept. About him, arguably the most aggravating of the Avengers.

"You're not really good with the lighthearted, small talk, are you?" He clears his throat. "You're supposed to share, easy to swallow remarks. Without trying to make me crash the car."

Raven takes a swing at being lighthearted. "Do you want to know what my favorite movie is? Dead Poets Society."

"Grown men have cried watching that movie Raven," Tony states. He wants to combust with laughter all of a sudden. She's really trying but god, she sucks. "Gimme another one."

"Uh, The Crow? It's about a man who's killed on Halloween and comes back from the dead to avenge his girlfriend who was – Shit, that's a bit depressing too, isn't it?" She bites her fingers furiously.

He's cracking up. This game is ten times more lighthearted than her answers. "You got two strikes."

Raven is bouncing in her seat like a variety show contestant on a timer. "Arsenic and Old Lace! It's a dark comedy, but no one important dies and it has a happy ending."

Tony has never heard of that movie before. He has a suspicious reason why. "What year did that movie get released?"

"Nineteen-forty-four. You had no restrictions on the year," she reminds him, as if he's going to disqualify her answer.

He yuks it up. "Steve was in the army when that came out!"

"Doesn't make any less funny," she huffs. "Cary Grant made the best comedies."

He reaches over to mess her hair. "You're hopeless. Tell you what? After we go see your Van Gogh, we're going out for lunch." His chuckles have no end. "I bet it's super cheesy too."

"You take that back," she pouted.

* * *

Going to art galleries was never his thing. So going to a museum to see a single painting, is a bizarre experience for Tony. He doesn't get the whole being quiet while admiring inanimate objects. It's all worth it to see Raven stare up at the painting like it's the most beautiful thing in the world. The way her eyes widen with wonder, taking in every detail. Each swirl and shade, like the finest woven object in existence. Was this how Raven picked herself up after every time the world knocked her down? Finding something beautiful, holding on to it from deep within the darkness. Clinging to it so she never lost sight of what was out there. He wraps his arm around her, Raven tilts into the crook of his arm.

"It was the first time I imagine the sky being blue at night," she said in a hushed tone. "I was never afraid of the dark but it was comforting to think that the colors of the world were sleeping and dimmed down."

"Sounds oddly poetic," Tony jabs. "You sure you don't have an inner poet in there too?" He taps her forehead.

"At least you can see why my therapists got changed so often."

He can't imagine the two years of her life before Hydra were so awful she had to change therapists. Frequently enough to cause notice. "Hydra had a mental health plan?"

"For me anyways," Raven said. "I had some real, twisted pricks shaking around my head. One for every base." She burrows closer to him. "They liked to stick needles in all the ugly parts of my life and pour acid into them. After most sessions I'd cuddle with my stuffed animals, climb a tree or go for a walk."

Hydra spent years trying to corrupt it and it didn't work. Not the way they wanted anyways. Her temper was frightening, she was morbid about everything, and yet she was such a sweetheart. She put her body on the line to save people within Hydra. Her mind didn't keep her alive, it was her heart.

"No wonder you hate doctors," Tony grumbled. "I'd faint too if I had the same doctors you had." He then adds, "I don't know whether to be annoyed your such a downer or be grateful you aren't unbearably optimistic."

Raven snickers, "I can tell you a stupid story, if you like." He looks down at her, accepting the challenge. "Okay, like most things, it starts sad but I swear you'll be having the crack at me. So after my mum died I was terrified of bathrooms, running water, all that. For the first year, you had to drag and beat me to get me to bathe in the sink. My foster dad had an idea, because obviously it was getting out of hand. He'd tried bribing me, wouldn't work. Tricking me by having the crack at his expense, nothing.

Well, my mum loved the Beatles. Used to sing their songs to me all the time. Guess what they did? To calm me down, they would play Yellow Submarine over and over. I even had a plastic submarine they painted yellow. It got so bad, they had to say, Come along Raven, time to go on the Yellow Submarine. Within a few weeks I didn't need to hear the music, I'd just sing to myself. Still took the Yellow Submarine in with me, and I kept it too." She slaps her hand on his knee, "How was that?"

He feigned disinterested, "A for effort." He had to bit inside of his cheek not to grin. "Got another one?"

"How about my stuffed Walrus, Mr. Tusky? We used to sing duets." With a haughty hum she added, "Like, I Am The Walrus."

* * *

They went to lunch in a very middle range restaurant. Raven would have preferred street food despite her shrimp allergy. He argued at least in a restaurant he'd feel less guilty for suing if she was poisoned. I was in Japan and South Korea, where sea food is inescapable, she told him. I can handle street food from unknown sources. Still once she saw the menu, she was easily swayed. Tony couldn't help but list all the new things he learned about Raven. She loved Vincent Van Gogh and Beatles, had a best friend named Colin, rode her bike and played with the boys. He was filling in all these blank spots, it made him unimaginably fuzzy all over. He never had things like this was his own father. This was the first step in being a good parent.

"So you're like an outdoorsy type then?" He couldn't stop speculating about Raven. With every teaspoon of info he binged deeper. Parents had years getting to know their kids, Tony had years to catch up on. "Bike riding, playing sports," he reminds her.

"I guess, I never lived in huge city until Hydra got involved. It's easier to people watch in the city though." She scratched her head with a sheepish smile. "And you can't skateboard down hills."

"You skateboard?" Tony leaned forward, enticed. "Seriously?"

"Behind my handler's back anyways." She whispered like it was a dirty secret. "He hated me running amok, stressing my heart out, busting my arse. Me and Eun Gi loved to go skating on our longboards when we had free time. We'd go get cake from the pastry shops and just hang about the place."

This is the first time Raven mentioned anyone by name. It takes him off guard because it was an accident. She never meant to say her name. "Is that your friend? That you told us about?"

"Yeah," she says slowly. Her bubbly aura is simmering. She clutches her jigsaw pendant like a protective talisman. "That's her."

Everything has come to a halt. This was an intimate part of Raven's life. Something she never shared with anyone. Typically this was when Raven shut up and changed the subject. Instead she's boiling over to keep going. But she's afraid to, if it's safe to let him in.

"Tell me about her."

Raven lets out a cloud of steam. "She's my best friend, I've know her since I was ten. Her English was better than my Korean, which was non-existent. She's much cooler than me."

"I doubt it." Tony interrupted her with a smile.

"It's true though," Raven softly insisted. "She was so convinced I was going to be a great leader. Convinced me that I could do anything if I wanted to. She doesn't think I'm weird or crazy. Always on my case when I don't take care of myself." With a twinge of humor, "Thinks my taste in movies are freaking depressing."

"Good to know I'm not the only one."

"Yeah, I know." She rubs her pendant. "I think she's the only person who calls me an idiot semi-daily."

"Not afraid to call you out huh?" Tony had that in Pepper. Although this girl was meant to be the next Winter Soldier, she sounds quite nice. For Raven's needs anyways. "You didn't say she was your BFF. Unless she's still sipping Hydra's koolaid?"

Raven ducks her gaze. "Sort of, but not like super intense. Her entire family is in Hydra… It's really complicated."

"Come on," he tuts. "I mean, you are talking to me." He points to himself confidently.

She laughs a little. "Me and Eun Gi…" She's making that face when she wants to chose her words. Tony doesn't rush her at all. "We've been inseparable, this is probably the longest time we've had spoken to each other. We're always calling and texting. She loves to write only using emojis. She's convinced it's the best modern code format."

"Wow, you are terrible at stalling," Tony snorts. "Is that how I sound when I talk to Pepper? No wonder I can't fool her."

"If you're going be like that, I won't tell you," Raven snapped.

"Oooohh, and you like bullying people too? Duly noted."

Raven rolled her eyes, "Me and her are really, really, complicated, okay?"

Tony was loving this rambling banter. "Like a Facebook status?"

Wincing, she said, "If you wanna call it that."

It takes him a full breath to analyze what Raven's said. She has a girlfriend. He sits back physically reeling at what he's been told. Raven's girlfriend is an assassin. Someone she has killed for. The parallel's between her and Steve aren't lost on Tony. It's what helps him digest it all.

"Pray tell, how are you and Steve not besties?"

His response bewildered her. "Huh?"

"Hydra can't stand either of you, you foiled their plans for human weapons and neither of you like talking about anything. You two should be having sleepovers gossiping about you complicated significant others – Wait, how old is she?" It dawned on him that Raven was sixteen. And Hydra didn't exactly have a young adult division.

"Eighteen," Raven replied scandalized at his insinuation. "I may be slightly unstable but not that irresponsible." Moodily she adds, "Besides Mr. Rogers doesn't like me that much. He's only nice to me for Bucky's sake."

Steve was doing precisely that, for now. Tony didn't patronize her apprehensions. Steve was the most suspicious of Raven before he even met her. He wasn't the guy to let go of a hunch no matter how the landscape changed. Raven said it in a nicer way, although she sounded just as hurt. Which made him uncomfortably sentimental. He and Steve were in a good place before Barnes flew like a bull in a china shop.

"But I'm used to that," she goes on. "Most people think I'm a shady on a good day."

"You're sixteen," he reminds her. "Moody and unpredictable is supposed to be your thing."

She giggles, rubbing the scar under her eye. Drawing Tony's attention to it like a magnet. It's ignorable for the most part. Only when she touches it, does Tony remember what Raven's suffered. He fought people wearing a metal suit. It did little to protect him, since he had PTSD, and now a favorite brand of icy-hot packs. Raven fought with her bare hands and got back up. He admired her for being so strong, ten times braver than he was at her age. As the waitress comes to their table, Tony pulls out his phone. Looking for any nearby skate shops. She had to get out more, and what better way than with some bait.

After lunch Tony took her shopping. He was hoping to rope her into buying some things. Anything really, so he can continue his research. Raven was a challenge to please. Although it could also be said she was incredibly easy to please. His plan was to drag into a jewelry store. Her necklace was practically a giant charm bracelet. Maybe he could make a little spot for himself on her string of pendants. It was only fair since Vivian's pendant was there.

But as always, as he starting to learn with Raven, nothing goes the way you want it. On their way to the store, a girl with neon blue hair is leaving a hair salon. Raven's eyes hypnotically follow her, spellbound by her hair. Blue was her favorite color.

"She's got like four shades of blue in her hair," she remarked.

Tony glanced back at the blue haired girl and turned to Raven enraptured gaze. "You'd want to do something like that?" He wondered. Now that's unexpected, Raven seems so introverted and happy to be indoors. The opposite of someone who parades around with a new hair do.

"My handler would have held my head over a sink and scrubbed it from my head."

Her handler sounded dubiously more like a parent than a supervisor. Not wanting Raven to strain her heart, forcing to do things he thought was for her own good, giving her restrictions on hair dyeing. Was her handler the same man who adopted her, posing as a friend of Raven's godmother?

"Old fashioned type huh?" Tony tiptoes around the subject.

"He just…" Raven sighs like she's being dragged down to a dark place. "Had a version of me only he saw, and didn't want anyone messing up the motif."

Tony can't imagine how she feels. He liked the same things as his dad. Became the successor of his company and extended the Stark legacy. He couldn't begin to imagine how much worse it would have been if he didn't like engineering or tech of any kind. That's where Raven is, she's a Stark by name but something else by nature. Hydra wanted a Stark but that's not what they got. Although they did get a steel plated spirit. If Raven had been in his place with Howard, Tony imagined she would've given him the finger. The fire in her is brighter than the iron in Howard Stark's backbone.

"Would you go that blue though?" He asks her. "It'll fade, but it's a bit much."

"I'd go lilac," she says with mock severity. "Pastel punk."

"You?" Raven is plenty of things but punk isn't even a part of the footnote. "Punk?"

"I could so pull it off, mate." Her Irish brogue comes out like a sucker punch. Tony reels at the thickness, paired with that adolescent scowl.

"Woah, put a leash on that Irish temper!" Raven's a huge hothead, another thing to put on his list. And not a mouthy hothead, a let's-throw-down hothead. "You can most definitely pull off a pastel punk look. Whatever that is. But let's ask Pepper first before we give her a heart attack."

It takes a minute to process what he's said. "Wait, you'd let me dye my hair?"

"Why not?" He shrugged. "Everyone dyes their hair."

"What about tattoos?" She asks quickly, like his permissible mood has a grace period.

"As long as you're not putting Hydra symbols on your shoulder," he jovially teases. "So no octopuses."

Raven isn't laughing, she looks like she needs to sit down. "You're not taking the piss, are you? I can do all of that?" Her hand grabs his, fragile and needing confirmation.

"Will it make you happy?" He asks her.

She nods her head. "I like that sort of stuff."

"Then it's okay," he assured her. He pulled her under his arm, hugging her. "You're allowed to make yourself happy Raven. If you wanna dye your hair purple…"

"Lilac," she corrects.

"Light purple," he continues. "And get a tattoo – with parental consent and supervision – then you can. It's your life Raven." He looks down at her and she's actually a little misty eyed. "Hey, deep breaths." He rubs her face, and for the first time he feels the scar on her cheek. It's thick and clean. A brief chill goes through him. She was fourteen when she got stabbed in the face. When he was fourteen, he was off at boarding school thinking being ignored by his parents was the worst thing in his life. He couldn't imagine having a hole in his face. Or solely recusing his best friend from becoming a brainwashed assassin.

He can't even put a toenail in Raven's shoes.

"Hey, come here." He takes her to sit down on a nearby bench. Luckily they're on the upper side of Manhattan, everyone's used to seeing celebrities. "I'm not the best guy for advice. Plenty of people have questioned my judgement, to the point of kicking my ass about it." He hands her his shades incase any passersby take pictures. "I'm not much of a parent either. Hell, my dad wasn't much of one either, between you and me."

"You're doing alright," Raven tells him in a gravelly voice. "Really."

A flutter of warmth bursts in Tony's chest. If this that feeling new parents get when they hold their baby? Inexplicable affection for someone that's a part of them. He reaches for her head, messing her hair. "You're free to remind me, from time to time. Anyways… The point I wanted to make is that we haven't known each other long but, I am wholeheartedly invested in your happiness. And whatever makes you happy, I wanna here about it. So tell me one thing, one thing you've always wanted. First thing that pops into your head."

"I've always wanted a dog…"

There was no way he could bring a dog into the Tower without Pepper's okay. "Okay, the second thing."

"A cat," she says with complete cheek.

"Oh now you got jokes?" He aggressively ruffles her hair. "You want to get smart with me? Something that Pepper won't kill me for."

"Well…" She contemplates intently. "I've always liked those electro acoustic guitars." She opens her mouth as if remembering something else, but doesn't say nothing. Tony pounces on it like a hound on the hunt.

"Since I disappointed your infestation plans, it's only fair you get a consolation prize."

That toothy grin comes out and Tony can't help but smile back. "I've always wanted those tablets that you can draw on. Just something to try," she explained. "I'm mostly into canvas work, and keeping it on paper. I wanna take a stab at digital art."

The word digital sends Tony into auto-pilot. If it's one thing he understands completely, it's tech stuff. He pulls out his phone and goes to work, barely blinking. Within seconds he knows exactly what he's looking for.

"Listen." Raven begins to backpedal. "You don't have to do that, the guitar is enough."

"Ah ah ah," he hushes her, pressing a finger to her lips. "You are getting an electro acoustic guitar, a graphic tablet, and a longboard, and there is nothing you can say to stop me."

"Wait – You're giving me a longboard too?" She speaks from the corner of her mouth.

"Surprise," he singsonged.

* * *

 **So once again apologies for the late update, Civil War has inspired and broken me. Plus this chapter went through a lot of polishing, since apparently funny/not depressing stuff is way harder to write. But I did take your suggestions to heart! Please keep them coming, and let me know what you like and what not.**

 **So as you can imagine, this story's second half is going to be very much influenced by Civil War since - duh, it was amazing and kinda fits well with Raven's story.**

 **All reviews are welcomed and feel free to PM me if you have other things to say.**

 **Anotherscribe**


	18. Chapter 18

**Sorry I took so long to update! Life was a bit hectic, and I lost track of the days.**

* * *

 _ **Chapter 18**_

Steve wanted to leave it alone, he really did. After the strife with Bucky, he and Tony made a hollow truce. The last thing he wanted to do was rock the boat. Pointing fingers at Raven when everyone else equally saw her as someone who needed protecting. Something gnawed at him. Bucky brought it to his attention that she was a soldier at heart. A fighter, a survivor, without any ego despite her obvious value. Was he truly the only one who thought there was more to her? The signals were as obnoxious as neon lights. She knew about Bucky, saved the twins and was in a base no one knew about. These were parts of Hydra that were under Shield and the Avengers's radar. Like Arnim Zola, who had wells of knowledge at his disposal before he sacrificed himself. Did Raven know him? Sure, he hadn't told anyone about him – for Bucky's sake, and since Natasha hadn't hinted he should. Was she having similar thoughts, and not telling him until the time was right for her?

"Hey," Bucky slapped his back. "What are you thinking about?"

He and Bucky were out on their run, getting a rise out of Sam. Business as usual for them. Steve almost didn't want to drag Bucky into his inner twilight zone, but who better than his best friend? He glances back to see if Sam was catching up. He's a few meters behind.

"Just about the thing you told me, about Raven."

Bucky cheeky smile falls. "What about Raven?"

"About her being a soldier. Powering through all the bad just to get to the end." He pauses to choose his words carefully. "I was just thinking… The same way I went all out for you, if she did something like that for her friend."

"You think she's hiding something." Bucky isn't upset about the plausible theory about Raven. He's disappointed, at Steve. "You know," he sighed, "she told me why she's so antsy around you. She said it's because you look at her like you can see all the bad things she did."

That did not sound like someone innocent. It was practically an admission. "Bad things like what?"

"She didn't tell me," Bucky replies frustrated. "Look, I know my head's still got a lotta cobwebs to shake out but, I do remember things. About her."

"Buck…"

"Not bad things, I swear. She was kid for god's sake, left alone with me for hours while scientists bully her to do her job. You can't expect a kid to come out okay after that." He confesses, "She had a mean streak, real nasty. There was this one time… There was a guy who used slap Raven for every little thing. Pinch her until she cried. One day she just lost it and stabbed him, in the ribs."

"Did he make it?"

"If he did, they never put him in the same room with her again." He shakes his shoulders like a chill ran down his spine. "I don't know if some shrink can explain it, but it's what I remember."

"What else do you remember about her?"

Bucky grimaces, "Just something I heard, something weird."

"Tell me Buck."

"Someone was talking to her, I can't remember who, but I remember what he said. How was your talk with Uncle Arnim." He says in a rumbling voice, "It can't be Arnim Zola, can it?"

This was something Steve wanted to spare Bucky from. But since he's confided in him about Raven, he owes him the same courtesy. He nods solemnly. "Buck, they preserved his brain after he died from cancer. He was in a computer, but he's gone now."

Bucky rocks like someone's punched him. "They had him talking to Raven. It makes sense. She was supposed to be the next head of Hydra. Who best to instruct her than the Nazi scientist under Red Skull," he snarls.

A Nazi scientist and a little girl having regular chats. They haven't proven anything yet but it's too much of a coincidence to disregard. Arnim Zola was smart enough to get into Shield after the war. To lie low and live through the century like a parasite. There's no question if Zola influenced Raven, it's to what extent.

"None of that was in the file Shield found," Steve realizes. "Or else Natasha would have told me. Which means, she edited it out."

"Steve," he pleads. Bucky doesn't want to ruin Raven's chance at starting over. She has her whole life ahead of her. He's sure she had a good reason to edit her file – if she did. Even though the thought of her and Zola having chats makes him nauseous. "She's a kid. She's gonna do stupid stuff, like a kid would."

"Editing your file is a tactical move. Not avoiding getting caught with your hand in the cookie jar."

It's at this moment Sam rejoins them, panting heavily. "Taking a water break before the next lap?" He then sees their somber expressions. "What did I miss?"

"Steve is gonna do something he shouldn't," Bucky grumbled. "About Raven."

Sam let out a long-suffering moan. "Don't you two do this. We're just getting the gang back together, plus I want some of those cupcakes she promised Bucky." He doubles over, hands on his knees, still winded. "I thought you wanted to make peace with Tony. Considering all the drama last time."

Steve doesn't need a reminder how he put Tony between a rock and a hard place. "We just figured out she knew Arnim Zola, and she's got a history of violence."

"Then tell Tony, man!" Sam exclaimed. "His daughter, let him deal with it."

"He already told him something," Bucky said. "He didn't like it very much."

"Oh I see." Sam couldn't help but chuckle. "You told him how to handle his kid and he wanted to punch you in the face?"

"It's not funny," Steve told him, "he needs to know if Raven is lying to him. It's not just him in that Tower, it's Pepper."

"Let me talk to her," Bucky pleaded. "She's a kid. She's a brainiac, but she's still a kid."

Steve heard him but at the same time, did not. "I got a feeling I can't shake. I don't want to put her on the spot but I know there's something she's hiding."

Sam and Bucky exchanged a tired look. "You think he would learn to leave things alone by now?" Sam scoffed.

* * *

They all drove out to Avengers HQ, directly to the compound where the remaining Avengers lived. Namely Natasha and Clint, who immediately knew this wasn't a social visit. It didn't stop the others from greeting them warmly. Wanda ran up for a hug from Steve, Pietro zipped around everyone getting high fives while Vision welcomed them hovering a few inches off the ground. His automatic movement unless someone reminded him to walk. As he spoke Rhodey heard the hum of activity and came into the living room from the kitchen, sandwich in hand.

"Cap, always a pleasure to see you." Vision goes to the others. "Sam, Bucky."

"Always stealing the thunder," quipped Sam, gesturing to Steve. He was doing anything to forget the worst that could happen from this visit.

"What brings you here? Rhodey wonders, mouth full of food. "Wait – Don't tell me, Tony did something."

Steve considers what he's going to say. He could lie and say yes, Tony was being Tony and needed Natasha to reel him in. But he doesn't want to cast stones at cracked glass. So he says, "Actually, I want to ask you two something." He looks to the twins. "Did Raven have any friends at Hydra?"

Wanda knows he's fishing for something. They've grown close during their training and missions. Pietro shrugs, blowing heavily through his lips. "I don't know about friends. People liked her, she was funny, told jokes, played tricks. Which is why her being so quiet is a little weird."

Natasha intervenes before Wanda can speak. "Steve…" She says under her breath, as she comes beside him. "You've got that look in your eye."

"What look?" He plays dumb.

"The men… liked her," Wanda recalled reluctantly. "Their thoughts were the first minds I accidentally read. A few men at the base in Sokovia would… look, and there were rumors."

Rhodey turned his back. "I don't wanna hear this."

"Rumors?" Bucky inquired threateningly. "What type of rumors?"

Wanda folded her arms tightly. "There was a man who would call her Pretty Baby. It's a movie about a child prostitute."

Distantly in the kitchen, Rhodey has set his sandwich down to cover his ears. "I'm not listening to this," he singsonged. "I'm not listening."

This wasn't what Steve thought he'd hear. Nonetheless was it something he didn't know before. It did little to justify his omniscient gut. There was something he's missing.

"There were also those kids," Pietro suddenly remembered. "The ones who didn't speak English."

"Now when you say kids," Clint says. "Do you mean young people, or actually children. Minors? Humans under eighteen?"

"The girl was older than Raven. Dressed like a soldier, all black with a rifle." He winces trying to recreate the memory. "A sniper rifle."

Bucky goes visibly pale, he knows exactly what type of gun it was. "A M-eighty-two." He holds his hands. "About this big?"

"Yeah, it was huge on her!" He exclaimed. "She was showing it off while Raven was looking at our stats."

Bucky's voice got deader. "Showing it off…"

How long was it until she wouldn't be so proud of her gun? A year, less? Steve never once wondered how this girl who was essentially Bucky's replacement be like after her ordeal. He had an idea, but it now dawned on him that Bucky never said the girl left Hydra. Only that Raven protected her from becoming the a super soldier, and that it was a secret procedure. The girl stayed in Hydra, and there were possibly other secret experiments Raven knew about.

"What about the other kid?" Clint pressed. "Were they a part of some other experiment?"

"He didn't look like much," Pietro mused. "Talked to Raven in a strange language."

Rhodey had freed his ears once the uncomfortable subject had passed. Now he was obligated to hear Steve out. Putting his sandwich aside for later he joined the conversation. "You think she's hiding them from us?"

Bucky feebly defends her. "After what happened to me, who wouldn't?"

Clint gives Steve a questioning stare. "You can't rock the boat twice with Tony, Cap. Hell, thanks to Raven we might actually get to live in the Tower again."

"She had regular conversations with Arnim Zola." Steve drops the bomb. "Bucky remembered hearing something, and who's to say she didn't? For all you knew Zola handpicked Raven due to that stupid algorithm he loved talking about!"

Natasha becomes grave at the mention of Zola's name. She turns to Bucky for a confirmation, he nods weightily. "This just got serious," she tells the others. "Arnim Zola had access to files not even I could leak. He knew about… a lot sensitive subjects. Possibly stuff about that," she points to the gem glowing on Vision's forehead. "If Raven was close to him, maybe she has some of those files. Or can at least give us some intel. We need to settle this among ourselves," she decides. "If any higher-ups hear about this, it'll be worse than last time."

Sam lets out a groan. "Aw c'mon, it can't be that bad."

"Arnim Zola was a Nazi scientist, who was basically immortal in a computer system," Natasha deadpans. "Was a part of the original Hydra. Was the major hand in the Winter Soldier program," she adds grimly. "Right hand man to the original Head of Hydra, Red Skull."

Rhodey hunches over the counter. "Great, just great. I got another Stark I can't leave alone for five minutes."

Vision is more enamored that someone can understand what has baffled him for his entire – albeit brief existence, than the danger she represents. He's practically ready to fly to Raven and beg for her wisdom. "Do you truly believe Tony's daughter is capable of helping me? I was under the impression she was fragile and recovering from grave trauma."

"She is," Bucky barked. He's prickled by the talk of Winter Soldiers and Zola. "So don't go scaring her. She's sixteen."

Factually he states, "She's much older than I am."

Wanda smiles fondly at him. "He means don't overwhelm her if she knows anything."

"Of course." He's trying not to appear eager.

The thought of Raven knowing about the Infinity Stones makes Steve's gut twist. It's something Tony – arguably the smartest person he knew, barely understood. If Hydra was within Shield while they had the Tesseract, and they had the Specter in Sokovia, it meant Raven had access to them. That wasn't in her file at all. Not even hinted at, which was highly unlikely if Zola had his eyes on her. Raven was hiding something, he felt it in his bones. Whether to come off as a complete victim or lessen any attention on her.

"We need to ask Tony first," Steve told them. "To see if she told him or Pepper something first. Then we ask her."

"Can we just agree we're not picking on Raven?" Clint checked. "Bucky's right, she's a kid. Kids do plenty of stuff we don't understand."

"That's why I'm asking," Steve stated.

* * *

Tony had just come home with Raven, when he checked his messages. He was so impatient to tell Pepper about everything he heard. Dish all the dirty details via text, but now Steve was blowing up his phone. He wanted so much to ignore him and continue his father-daughter day with Raven. He forgot about getting her jewelry and opted for the electro acoustic guitar and drawing pad she wanted. He actually got a kiss on the cheek for it. For the longboard he got a full hug. He took her to skate shop and bought her a top notch longboard. Well, he wasn't sure about the top notch part. He had already forgotten half the things Raven told him about board shapes, deck types and wheel shapes. All he knew was that she had a board she could do tricks with and go down break-neck speeds on a hill. He had to remember to not tell Pepper the last part. Raven was in the middle of demonstrating "board dancing" in the garage when he saw Steve's nagging messages.

This was the most peaceful he'd seen Raven. Twirling and stepping on her board like it was the most natural thing in the world. Again this isn't his thing, and he knows she probably fell off plenty of times before getting it right. What matters is that he's making her happy. There are parts of her that Hydra didn't destroy. It was a topic he and Pepper were avoiding but if Raven wasn't going to be a part of Shield – hell, she could have made a solid case in being an Avenger – what was she going to do, with her second chance at life? Tony was hoping Raven might give him a hint during their outing. The board was doing miracles in relaxing her. If Steve wasn't blowing up his phone this might have gone somewhere. Steve was so lucky he promised Pepper he'd attempt to be civil.

"What?" He answered briskly. He didn't want to say his name incase it ruined Raven's good mood. She was happily distracted at the moment.

"I need to ask you something personal," Steve told him off the back. "I know it's none of my business, but has Raven told you anything about what she did at Hydra? More than she said before?" Before Tony could tell him it was indeed of his business, he added, "Some new information has popped up."

He seriously has to pause, because only a couple of hours ago Raven mentioned she had a girlfriend. Who was still in Hydra. He scratches his beard, mulling over the odds of Steve's findings being harder to swallow. If he wanted to be an asshole about it, he would have gone to higher-ups and dragged this out to the open. Instead Steve was coming privately to him.

"Fine," he grumbled. "What is it?"

"Come to the compound," Steve requests. "So we can talk." And without another word he hangs up.

"Was that Pepper?" Raven wonders. She comes to an expert stop, kicking up her board for her to catch. Just a little skate around the garage, between his luxury, collectible cars and she sounds lighter. Less closed off, and more welcoming.

It brings a bittersweet smile to his face. He could lie but he knows she'll spot it. "Nah. Avenger business," he says honestly. "Nothing major," he lies immediately afterward. "You think you can not the burn the Tower down while I'm gone?" He pulls out his keys to get back into a different than the one they drove in. "Universal key," he brags. "Hold the applause. Now, if anything happens talk to Friday. She's got several emergency protocols if anything goes wrong."

"I'm sixteen not five," she scoffs. "Go on. I need a break from your face anyways," she taunts. He knows the look in her eyes. He had the same feeling when he dad sent him to boarding school. She wants him to stay. The feeling was mutual. Even when politely pessimistic she's better company than a moody Steve Rogers.

"We're going to have a movie night with Pepper when I get back," he hastily promises. "We're going to watch that stupid movie of yours and pass judgement on it. And a lesser extent you." He opens the car door but stops halfway. "Hey," he beckons her toward him, "come here a sec."

"What?" She laughs. "I can be alone for a bit, I swear! I won't break up the place the second you drive off."

He says nothing, grabbing her gently by the jaw, planting a kiss on her forehead. He believes that whatever Raven is hiding, if she is, was in no way to harm them. Under all those barbed wires, she's all cotton candy. And this what dads do right? Kiss their kids goodbye when they leave. His dad wasn't much on parental affection but his mom was, whose eyes Raven had. Staring up at him without a clue of what it did to him.

"What was that for?"

"Zip it or I'll give you another one," he warns with a chortle.

She sticks her tongue out. "Bleh."

"That does it." He gives her a noisy peck on her temple. "Call me if you get bored. Odds are I will be too."

Raven rolls her eyes, but she doesn't mind. It makes it hard to let go, because he had finally gained passage into Raven and he had to leave. At least he didn't lie to her. A small victory but hey, what do you call really productive baby steps? Raven even waves as he gets in the car.

"If you see Bucky, tell him he can come for his cupcakes tomorrow."

For a split second he considers saying, you might wanna hold that order. Instead he nods. "I will," he promises. "And I want a batch of my own too, by the way. As your father I should be getting the best of the bunch. Barnes can have the rejects, he won't know the difference."

She's knows, is the second jarring realization. Knows that it's about her. Was it a slip of the tongue or did she not care? She's a fantastic faker, Tony's deeply impressed. As he is distressed because _woah_ , that moment was chilling.

"I make perfect cupcakes, every time."

"I'll be the judge of that," he says as he starts the engine. "Be good!" He shouts jokingly as the garage doors open and he drives out.

"Cheeky." Raven shakes her head as the doors close. She makes true on her word to start baking two batches of cupcakes. She was planning on making tiramisu cupcakes for a while since she got familiar with the kitchen. When Bucky made his request for cupcakes it felt like the perfect time to christen the Avengers with her pastries. Janos loved the finer things, so his personal fridge was always stacked with random ingredient for spontaneous creations. He was a fine butcher, but she loved making the desserts.

Being alone for a bit was rather refreshing. She hadn't been alone for so long. An invisible weight was ripped from her shoulders. Ever since letting Bucky out when she was twelve, Raven avoided living with her handler for extended periods of time. The others were under the impression she was stuck with him, that was not the case. In reality he felt horrid for what he did to her and let her leave. Though not before having another row with her. In those four years she moved between Felix and Eun Gi. It all depended on how the wind blew. Occasionally she passed through North Dublin, for her mum's birthday of course, or Mother's Day. She would have corrected them but then would have to out her friends and other indecent details. There was no need for that yet. Although sharing with Tony put her in very good mood. And not just because she talked about Eun Gi.

It was the first time she admitted to someone they were together. Were they even still together? It's been over six months since they last seen each other, or spoke. Not counting the text she sent her two months ago. If Eun Gi hated her she would have made it known. What she failed to tell Tony was that Eun Gi was very intense with her feelings. Subtly wasn't her strong suit, especially when she was upset. Maybe if she called the devil's name enough, she would appear.

While Raven put icing on her two sets of cupcakes, a notification came up on her tablet. Her hands never stilled from the rhythmic rotation of her hands. Raven walked around the kitchen island, calm as a surgeon despite the urgent chime of her notification.

"Open last notification," she ordered her tablet.

It was hardly an A.I., an advanced Siri at best. She detested A.I.s, on an ethical level. Her tablet read out to her, in a mechanical genderless drone. "Detections of Hydra personnel within proximity of a connected device."

"Address of said connected device."

Friday interrupted her while her tablet worked. "Miss Raven, I detect no danger, however I was explicitly instructed to call Mr. Stark if there is any problem…"

"I know, just hang on a second before you panic." Raven finishes her last cupcake topping and goes to her tablet. With a new tab opened on her tablet she disables Friday in a quarter of a minute. One less nuisance for her to fuss about. She isn't damaging Friday per say, she's doing the equivalent of tying her to a chair and locking her in a cellar. "Snitch," she adds testily.

The address isn't near her or the Avengers compound – which she knows through commonsense, is upstate New York. Which leaves one other possibility; Pepper, who's at the Stark Industries branch in Manhattan. Raven takes a deep breath. Hydra is going to use Pepper to draw her out. Or make Tony give her up. It all depended who was organizing it all.

"Great," she tuts as she puts her freshly made cupcakes away in the fridge. At least she got to finish them first. Raven would have been furious if she had to leave them in the oven. There are two things she can do; call Tony or go handle it herself. With the former she didn't have to worry herself, because the Avengers had such God complexes they wouldn't dream of sacrificing anyone. However that left them to take the bastards alive or in a state to make a full recovery. There was also the odds of it being a media spectacle, which would be bad for Tony's public image. Yet again Tony Stark was surrounded by controversy and danger. If Raven handled it, she could kill everyone, thus permanently fixing the problem. There would be no press, since without Tony beside her, she was just another one of the billions of brunettes in the world. It would be infinitely better for Tony and Pepper. Less stress and drama, in a matter of hours she'll be back with some new bruises and that'll be it.

The decision was made.

* * *

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	19. Chapter 19

_**Chapter 19**_

Tony knew he was walking into a meeting, but not a freaking intervention. The second Steve starts talking about her "friends" in Hydra, and Arnim Zola, he wishes he ignored his call. He was barely getting to the point of being in the same room as Barnes. Now he has to talk about the man who likely gave him the order. To snap his mother's neck, bash his father's face in. If that wasn't enough, he has to imagine that man talking to Raven, his daughter. His paternal instincts were in their milk teeth stage but he can't take all this speculation around Raven anymore. He tries his best not to think about how Hydra clearly planned their final push around Raven. How they sat down and murdered his parents because his dad was a threat to them. Scraped a sample of his DNA for a rainy day, to get some of that Stark intellect on their side. Only later to find this little girl – with his mother's eyes, and decide she is the only way they'll win this fight. Pitiful Raven who was already broken when they found her.

It's beyond horrific to think about a little girl with all that on her shoulders. Learning she has a father only to hear she has to kill him. Being spoon fed what a service it would be. In the same second he's about to go down Steve's path of thought, he remembers what Raven told him hours earlier. The snapshot of him and Vivian, the letter he never got. In that second he perfectly recalls the second her friend, Irene Moore – Raven's godmother, taking the picture at Vivian's insistence. _Please, one photo, one photo?_ Vivian pleaded with gaudy showgirl make up that miraculously didn't diminish her beauty up close. How he said in French, _Only if you repay me later._ That was the man he used to be and Vivian saw some good in him, and Raven clung to that faith.

"If that's true – If!" He stresses this fact. "Is there ever a good time to openly tell people she knows a freaking real-life Nazi?"

Steve straight up accuses him in his next breath. "What did she tell you?"

"She told me some things." It feels wrong to out Raven, in every sense of the word. Maybe she told him to gauge his reaction about heavier topics. Either way, he wasn't that big of an asshole. Contrary to popular belief. "In private," he says.

Steve's jaw tightens. "Just tell me if she mentioned anything about the Infinity Stones Thor told us about. About children in Hydra."

Tony doesn't even hear the latter. "What?"

"If she was close to Arnim Zola," Natasha explains slowly, "there's a chance she knows something about them. Everyone agrees she's smarter than you Tony, by a long shot. She has to know something."

Another thing he forced himself to ignore. Raven's massive intellect, and how she could easily be playing him. Tony rubs the space between his eyes. She should be a mess, a bigger mess than anything after all she went through. Yeah she mentioned the disfigured Barbies story but, that can't be it. He coughs, rubbing his neck. She asked for Nick Fury to put her into a grave. Was that because of what she knew? She expected to be let go and forgotten. Couldn't do that if she had information like that. And she knows that, Tony realizes. She knows how this game works in the worst ways.

"We think she edited her own files." Steve takes not a pinch of pleasure in telling him that. He sounds angrier than expected.

He doesn't doubt that, simply by knowing she had friends and a complicated relationship with her handler. "How did you even figure this out?" Tony asks randomly. "Are you just staring at Raven and scheming?"

"She's smart but she's a kid," Steve stated.

"Is that a twinge of arrogance I hear?" Tony remarks in stubborn jest. "We should start calling you Captain Bloodhound."

"Are you really going to give me lip now?"

"You just admitted that she's miles smarter than me." Tony found this strangely amusing. "And I'm several skips ahead of you. Where does that put you to her?" He didn't see Raven going Dark Side on them but she was a teenager. Just as bad, honestly.

Rhodey groans like he's about to have heart failure. "Oh my god… And you left her alone?"

"Yes, I did. But let's first hear how Steve is going to figure out if Raven is lying. And how he's going to handle the situation."

"I thought we agreed she was," Sam says immensely confused.

"Yeah, and remember how half of this room turned on me to go in his corner?" He points to Bucky who flinches like lightning flew out Tony's cuticle. "Well consider this me being in Raven's corner. She's a little kooky – I'll give you that. She can't tell you a single story without it having a depressing twist. She barely speaks and makes friends like a five year old. And when she explodes you kinda get why she doesn't open her mouth most of the time." He signals that he's coming to his point. "I'm still getting to know her but I know if we do things your way, it's going to end in a fight. I mean," he shrugs, "she is my daughter."

"I don't want to fight with you anymore Tony!" Steve says in exasperation.

"Oh I didn't mean me. I meant Raven," he clarified. "She's going to try to damnedest to punch you in the face."

"She wouldn't," Sam scoffed in disbelief. His only impressions of Raven were of a frightened, damaged child. He didn't see the fire, how shaken Dr. Madison was from her outburst.

"You didn't see what she did to her therapist's coffee table. Dr. Bella Madison will give you a professionally written summary how Raven's got text book passive aggressive tendencies. It adds up with how she broke out the secret Moscow base, as you recall. And she's Irish," he said, "they're famous for their tempers."

"She's barely ninety pounds." Sam can't believe the conversation swung this way. "Steve's biceps weigh more than her."

"Can we stop discussing me and a sixteen year old getting into a brawl?"

"I heard she bit someone's ear off once," Bucky tells Sam. He knew Raven's temper, saw it in its infancy. At least someone else in the room knew he wasn't talking out of his ass. Regrettably it was Barnes, but desperate times and all that.

"She set someone's desk on fire for stealing paperwork from her station without her permission." Pietro tosses a cup of gasoline on the fire. Everyone turns to him incredulous. "Wanda saw it," he says to validate his claim. "Tell them."

"They do call her Mad Dog Raven," Wanda concedes.

"So what now?" Sam remarks dubiously. "She's an intellectual thug?"

"Mad Dog Raven? Seriously?" Tony didn't see that coming. The same girl who got goo goo-eyed at a Vincent Van Gogh painting? He was so teasing her about that later. "It does sound like she should be part of a street gang."

"She did love to say she finishes fights, not start them," Pietro chortles.

Steve loses his patience in one fell swoop. "Can we take this seriously? There is a teenager sitting in Avengers Tower with information on the Infinity Stones and Hydra intel, watching tv, while we fumble around."

"Actually," Tony interrupted, "she's baking cupcakes."

Sam turns his head toward Tony like these cupcakes could sway his favor. "Did she say what flavor?"

"Oh not you're not getting any. I'm gonna tell her you're on his side." He points to the fuming Steve. "So he's getting all the cupcakes." He gestures to Bucky.

"For the love of god…" Steve seethes. "Is this payback for being right? Is that it?"

"I'm just letting you know, with input from the peanut gallery, that you are the least qualified person to ask Raven for anything." Tony holds his hands, at ease while Steve looks ready to burst. "No one is saying you're wrong but, you get more with honey than vinegar. And your vinegar is expired."

* * *

Raven took her tablet upstairs reading what Hydra devices were in range of Pepper's. It was a program she tinkered with on her own. She rubbed elbows with plenty of useful and unsavory personalities while in Hydra. One of the things she liked to do was practice her hacking skills. There were plenty of devices mercenaries used, and several they repeatedly used. Tablets, their personal phones, work phones, custom made apps for transferring information. She had access to a few, enough to trace them in case she had to prepare for an ambush. Today was one of those days. Luckily her paranoia planted seeds for this day.

Going into her closet, she digs out her ignored duffle bag. With her Super Mario keychain. If it was out of sight no one had cause to suspect it. In it was the only set of clothes she had when she walked out of that bunker. She empties the duffle bag, pushing aside the clothes for now. Turning it inside she scratches along the inner seam for a seal, parting it with her nails. She had to cut them before she left, they were a little too long for fighting. At least her hair was short and she didn't have to resort to those awful tiny elastics and hair clips.

Opening the seam she takes out her concealed weapons. A pair of fitted gloves, a butterfly knife, a small drawstring pouch of taser disks and a single flash disk. On the other side there's a baton, custom made. Unfortunately there's no gun. Raven would prefer to have a gun for today. Tony no doubt had weapons stashed all over the Tower, he'd be an idiot not to arm the place on the inside. I'll find one later. She checks the time on her tablet, she has a reasonable window before Pepper approximately left work. Raven automatically calculated the time it takes Pepper to get home from work and the time she leaves. Through conversations and her own knowledge of CEO work ethics, she has the timing measured to the second.

Raven slips on her gloves. The fabric slides smoothy along her skin, the concealed metal plates moulded to her knuckles and wrists. She straps them to her wrists, flexing her hands and popping her joints. She's the only person in the world with gloves like these. They can catch bullets, block knives and are somewhat fireproof. The metal plates were just for delivering better.

The next thing she moves on to is the hoodie she pushed aside. Using her butterfly knife, she skins the outer layer, throwing the easily removable fabric back into her duffle bag. Revealing a slicker, slightly thinner black hoodie. It's not the weather for it but she needs it. Between the typical spandex-type fabric most hoodies are made out of, is something else. A layer of vibranium infused fabric, the same material as her gloves. They're bulletproof, and look harmless and dismissible on sight. The hoodie has several tiny slips where she can slip her weapons into. The small ones anyways. She had sewn a bulkier layer on top of it, like a shell, to hide its true purpose from her many superior officers. Raven sensed her grace period was up, and was ready for a fight. Now, in the middle of summer, the thickness would be more suspicious than having a hoodie in the first place.

While arranging her things, Raven picks up a messenger bag. The trick is to appear invisible – which she can physically – but also to the professional killers she was hoping to ambush. She has to look out of her league and overly ambitious, enough to stroke their egos and make them sloppy. Her ever-faithful play, which sadly never quite worked with Steve Rogers. He saw right through her as if her skin was branded with her sins.

Focus, she chides herself, Hydra goons first then Captain Stick Up His Arse. She pacts her hoodie, pair of sweats, sneakers and a random t-shirt. If Eun Gi was here she would throw him her fancy concealer face powder, which can cover up almost anything. There's no point having a decoy change of clothes if you're face was kicked in. If by some chance she lost her messenger bag her weapons were going to be on her, along with her phone. Right now the messenger bag was make her look casual, boring and juvenile. At the last second she snatches a cap, putting it on and pulling the brim down. It is hot enough outside for it to be ignorable.

"Pills," she thinks aloud when she goes to collect four days worth of her heart medication. Just incase those pricks took her out of New York and she had to hitchhike back, or worse, walk. If she missed a day, she had several hours before actually dying from heart failure. She heard the doctors from Shield say so when they first gave her medical attention. If they waited another hour or so, from the eight it roughly took to transport her – she could have died. Raven packed her pills into a tiny plastic bag she had laying around, and then into drawstring pouch. Can never be too safe. She pins them on the inside of her pants pocket with a safety pin she saved from her new clothes. Raven had her room filled with little odd things, she saved from everywhere. You never know when you're going to be stabbed in the back.

It had been a while since she did something like this. It always worked out well considering the odds of her being killed. Never mind she got stabbed in the face once. The night she went to rescue Eun Gi, she told only one person, Felix. She literally left his a note saying, off to do something possibly stupid, call me in a couple of hours. Along with her most trusted "boy", whom she affectionately called Pretty Boy. And they bum rushed the place. If she told the Avengers everything it meant putting her boys at risk, Felix, Kyung Gi, Madame Lee and Eun Gi, and everyone else she protected with her influence. Yes, they were criminals, psychos but they were her brothers and uncles, her family. Business was Business, but she was no snitch. They turned a blind eye to her misdeeds, she gave them cuts, and it was a fine arrangement. Although things had changed drastically, she never sold them out. So what if they killed people? If it wasn't them, it'd be someone else. Bad and good survive side by side, and there's nothing you can do about it.

Before she leaves, Raven leaves a note on Pepper's desk. It'll do more damage than anything but it feels right. With a fancy ballpoint pen she finds, she writes, Sorry about this, I'll be back soon as I can, Love R. She should really have a fountain pen, Raven laments. It would have made her note more elegant, at ease and reassuring. Janos insisted she practice her calligraphy as a necessary hobby. Another bizarre skill her life gave her. Raven kisses the back of the note praying it rubs off on Pepper.

* * *

Using her phone she finds her way to the Manhattan Stark Industries branch. It's a futuristic building, very influenced by Tony. Sleek, shiny but not tacky like some imagined vision of future architecture. It makes Raven smile, it's so _Tony_ it's like looking at the man himself. Invested in the future, in hopes of doing good, adaptable, and bombastic. On the inside is his literal and figurative heart, Pepper Potts. Fueling her resolve to put herself at risk. Pepper was kind to her, patient and welcomed her into her home. Knowing she was dangerous and secretive. Tony loved Pepper, and Raven cared for them both. So she'll protect them. Even if it essentially frightens them, because that's how Raven can best express her love and gratitude. With her body; blood, sweat and tears.

Time is running out, soon Pepper will leave work. In a boobytrapped car, judging by the type of device her tablet picked up on. Car accidents are on the shortlist of ways to dramatically, and casually kill, injure or maim someone. Raven has to change that without making Pepper panic and call Tony. It will ruin everything and cause more problems than she already had. From a coffee shop not far from Stark Industries, she pulls out her phone and starts texting Pepper. Her number is in Friday's system, along with Tony's, making it all too easy.

Guess who? She texted, with a smiling emoji.

Pepper replied in a matter of seconds. Raven?

IT IS! She adds a confetti emoji for laughs.

Tony got you a phone. I am not surprised. Smiling emoji.

She hated lying to her. Pepper was so nice, but it was for her own good. One of the many benefits of being the subject of various psychiatrists, is learning how to observe people. To pinpoint someone with a relentless personality, a bad temper, an agreeable nature, or someone gullible. Tony is predictable with his grand gestures, chaotic way of doing good, and romancing Pepper. Likewise Pepper is levelheaded, steel nerves – she should really get into poker. Eternally patient and conciliatory with Tony. The good makings for a balanced couple. The perfect ingredients for concocting a convincing lie.

I know! But he's got me playing messenger.

Appeal to their sympathies, when spinning the lie. If it sounds like bullshit, they'll know it's bullshit. Raven has done this a million times. Big brown eyes, painted in the right light, fastened to the perfect mask.

Oh no, Pepper texts. What has he done?

I think he's going to pick you up from work. Raven tactically paused, before resuming. He's planning a movie night. We're going to watch my favorite movie, Arsenic and Old Lace.

I've never heard of that.

It's from 1944. Cary Grant's in it. It's a dark comedy. Tony thinks it'll suck. Angry emoji. So I'm recruiting you to prove him wrong. Winking emoji.

Oh, I see. You're swaying my opinion. Very smart.

It's not swaying because it is a delightful movie. I'm letting you ahead of time. Not to listen to whatever he says.

A little truth for the glue, and voila, a believable lie wrapped in a silk bow. Raven wishes it was true herself. It sounds so wonderful, texting Pepper with a scheme to thwart Tony's teasing. We were almost a family, we won't be after this. Melancholy rises in her chest. We're probably never going to have that movie night. She tells herself that's fine. If they're angry with her, at least they'll be alive to do so. That's how she got through Kyung Gi and Auntie Lee dealing with how she murdered Operative Shin, and keeping them quiet. Be grateful they're alive to hate and question me. This is no different.

Okay, okay. I'll play along. Did you have a good time with Tony today?

It was nice. Raven typed honestly. Really nice. Don't tell him that though. His head will swell.

So true ha ha ha. I have some work to finish, so I'll see you later. Bye bye Raven. BTW Do not let Tony talk you into trying on the suit, please.

Raven sent her a heart and winking emoji. Now it was time to work. Pepper would delay her departure from Stark Industries and calling Tony. Giving Raven plenty of time to distract the team of Hydra goons elsewhere. By the time they figured all the details out, stopped bickering and panicking, she should be a safe distance away. Hopefully halfway done with this nonsense.

She leaves the coffee shop, going down an alley. Takes out her hoodie and slips it on. She's memorized the location where the Hydra guys have parked. She knows that server name from anywhere; Fatty and his lads. Rogelio Valquez wouldn't give this job to a rookie, who would underestimate her. Or someone who sees a little girl and toys around. For a moment her stomach twists and knots. It'll never end will it? Fighting for the right of peace. Whether it's Hydra or Steve Rogers who's unsure of her honesty and intentions. Raven's hands will never be clean.

She crosses the street, minding the traffic lights. Breathes deep, stretching her stomach, exhaling through her nose. You didn't come this far to die. Inhales through her nostrils, belly expanding, letting it go under her breath. You won't let Pepper be hurt, or cause trouble for the others. She zips up her hoodie to the top. This is because of you, you will finish it. Pulls the hood over her head. Her feet take her to a parking lot. She sees Fatty's car, he always gets the ones with lots of room. Walks between the cars like she's doesn't know at least five guys are in a car waiting for Pepper to get into her car just to blow it up.

What if there's more than five? What if this is a trap? The realization doesn't frighten Raven. It calms her, because it means no one will be hurt on her account. And it means she gets to be ruthless, fully justified. She's been inside too long anyways.

* * *

 **Sorry the two week wait that's been becoming routine lately. I keep obsessing about polishing up the chapters myself since I don't have beta reader or anyone like that. Plus life as per usual.**

 **So what do you think about Raven off to have a street fight? Any mistakes you see and wanna tell me about? Every review lets me know where my weak points are.**

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	20. Chapter 20

_**Chapter 20**_

Finding herself in an ambush should have frightened Raven. She knew these men, the ugly deeds they did in the free time and secularly. Her heart should be fluttering, failing from the possible horrors. Instead she was calm like she was knitting a scarf. Familiar in with its own rhythm.

Tick, tick, move.

Tick, tick, move.

Tick, tick, move.

"Well, well, well, it's Raven Stark." Fatty sized her up as Raven spat blood out her mouth. "Gotta say little girl, I was surprised when I heard." Everyone was chuckling at the secrets jokes they made up on the way here. Raven, the black sheep of the Stark legacy.

"I know," she panted. "I'm such an unlikeable cow. He got all the social skills."

Fatty was Rogelio Valquez's favorite muscle. Round gut, a brawler's strength, and frankly, the most pitiful mustache she ever saw. Felix liked to call him their Discount Pablo Escobar, minus the cocaine. Fatty was arrogant and slimy, fancies having a horse appendage between his legs. Massive twat. He thought he had her in the bag. She was tired from going through five of his men, and there were three more standing behind him. Bleeding and slightly sore, winded and with more to come. Raven welcomes the pain, thriving under agony.

"Gets more pussy that's for sure."

"Like I said," she shrugged. "People like him. Me?" She laughs harshly thinking about sour faced Steve Rogers. "They hate."

Fatty grins, rottenly with ill intent. "You don't know how to follow orders. Like, staying dead." He pauses as if saying too much might work against him. Yet he can't shut up. "You just had to go running to your daddy."

"Which one?" She asks genuinely. Her life is a grand joke, why not have a laugh?

It earns her a hearty snort. "I forget, you don't know. Your lovely Uncle Janos sold you out Pretty Baby. Let the boss put you in that hellhole. Left you in the dark," he taunted.

Something in Raven runs cold. She knows those words. Janos told her them millions of times. _Don't leave me,_ she begged him when she was eight years old. _Promise me you'll stay._ And he said, _I will never leave you to fend for yourself in the dark. Never Raven._ He knew about the bunker, visited her and left her there to die. But she ended up there on her own, didn't she? It was an overblown way to tame her mind, right? It couldn't have been a plan, right? She had been doing her best not to think about it. Not to look back. Perhaps she should have sooner.

"Heard they had you screaming in there." He went on. "The boss swore they drove you crazy. Then again, you already were."

 _Please let go Raven. It'll be easier. You need to do this for me. Do this for me and I promise I will take you home._

 _You're… going to… kill… me… aren't you?_

 _No. But plans have changed. It's out of my hands Raven. I can only make it painless for you now._

 _Another… father… wants to… get rid… of… me… Ha ha ha…_

 _No. You'll be here long after I'm gone. My last gift will be taking away all of your pain. Someday I hope you will understand. I do love you Raven, more than you'll ever know._

"Since I'm so crazy." She spoke steely. "You have no idea what I'm gonna do, do ya? I mean, you can't cause a fuss." She starts to back up. "I know you put a bomb on Iron Man's bird's car, and I know you need me, for the most part… So…" And she ran.

They weren't going to take her back to Hydra in a respectable state. That much was certain, dead or alive. She was going to die on a slab or on the asphalt. It pumped the diesel in her veins to run. Fatty was screaming to someone to his heavy Cuban accent. So one guy was coming after her. Just like she wanted. Fatty could never catch her on foot. Six months without Eun Gi's rigorous sparring routines hasn't slowed her down at all. Raven find the stairs and lunges upwards to the floor above. Make distance and plan. She was going to be captured and taken out of the city, okay. They were going to hurt her, fine. This was going to be close, she expected no less.

The footsteps are gaining on her. Breathe and don't make it easy. The man grabs her, tosses her down. She gets up swinging and kicking. Gives him something to brag about. Tosses him in the hood of a car and he drops. Too easy, she thinks, and she's right. Someone sneaks up beside him and slams her into the same hood. The wind is knocked out of her, her head bounces. A part of her expects him to slam her skull into it until something breaks. He does the opposite and pins her down. Tugs her hair roughly back, pushing her forehead deeper into the unmovable steel. Keeping her head still with his forearm, making her neck arch awkwardly. In the corner of her eye she sees a syringe.

Nonononononononononononono.

There's no time to move when she feels the prick in her throat. The panic, mixed the pain of her muscles resisting, along with his inexperience with needles, gets a whimper out of her. Her fear turns to fury, not this mess again. He was so absorbed in his job, he fails to see her go for a taser disk and jam it into his side.

Shouldn't I be sleepy? She thinks as he convulses to unconsciousness. Is that – Then her heart lurches. It was already racing from running but this feeling is different. Raven staggers a few steps away from the unconscious men. Adrenaline. They're trying to put me into cardiac arrest.

"Oh god, oh god, oh god," she heaves as she collapses.

Within seconds she'll pass out, in minutes she will be dead. Heart attacks had longer grace periods. Cardiac arrests were faster. Your heart beats's irregularly, blood is pumping all wrong and everything goes offline. It's painless once you black out. You're breathless before then, heart trying to leave your body, lungs choking. Raven felt this pain when she fell out of that tree. How old was she eight or nine? Janos performed CPR until someone came with a defibrillator and got her heart back on track. Still didn't stop them from taking it out anyways.

That's it, I need to shock myself like a defibrillator. Her mind leaps to her only option, taser disks. With shaking hands, she presses four disks on her chest. Two for each side on her chest, like the panels of a defibrillator. She has no choice, it's this or die. With trained pianist fingers, she presses them simultaneously and – _Jesus._

The pain. So much pain she wants to scream but can't. Her nerves are on fire. The fibers in her bone feel torn apart and then she passes out.

Please let me wake up.

Please let me wake up.

Please let me… wake… up…

* * *

Pepper was so relieved Tony's plan to bond with Raven worked out. She hadn't heard her voice but Raven sounded, happy. All the time they knew her she never seemed to emote anything higher than contentment. There was always this sadness around Raven, an invisible barrier, keeping everyone at arms length. Maybe with this they can get to know her better, figure out what to do with this sudden family setting they found themselves in. Pepper had a traditional family life, with both parents and family gatherings. Tony lost his family when he was a teenager, he rarely talked about them. The fiasco with Bucky Barnes was the most information Tony ever revealed about them. Raven shared that with him, not having a family for very long. Hopefully they could bond over that and find comfort in each other.

They never discussed having kids. Pepper wasn't even sure if Tony wanted kids of his own. And as much as she didn't want to push him, she suspected he was afraid of the responsibility. When he was angry about Bucky killing his parents, he was more hurt about his mother dying than his father. No one seemed to notice this emphasis on, _he killed my mom._ And now Raven shows up, her life shattered by Hydra because she was his daughter. Raven never blamed him, not to her knowledge, but Tony no doubt never forgot the fact every time he looked at her. Being a Stark got her into this mess. Being a Stark got you killed. He had yet to talk about it and Pepper didn't want to push him. Pushing brought nothing out, except for aggravating one-liners.

Speaking of Tony, where was he? Pepper went by the window in her office, expecting him to pull up in one of his muscles cars. There was no one. She folded her arms, don't tell me he got distracted with something and forgot his own surprise. It happened before and quite hilariously, so she didn't worry too much. Yet something in her shivered. Crossing her arms she stared over the building tops, her gaze went to a parking garage. A chill ran down her spine. If Raven was in on it, shouldn't she have reminded Tony to come for her? Was something wrong? But then her phone should have shown her an alert. As she pulls it out to double check her custom news feed, a black car drives by Stark Industries.

Times seems to melt as it goes along the street. It's just a black car, with a huge trunk. Yet looking at it reminds her so something. Washington, when they tried to kill Nick Fury. They had black cars just like that. With heavily tinted windows, big enough to squash several men inside with huge weapons. She glances at her call log, when she sees the number Raven called her with. That's not a US number, it looks European. Her heart lurches. Tony wouldn't have bought her a phone, he would have made one.

She opens her window and takes a picture of the car. Frantically calling Tony she prays, "Please don't be in that car. Please don't be in that car. Please don't be in that car."

Raven was supposed to be the Stark least likely to kill her. At this rate she'll be the Stark to put them both in an early grave. Pepper wasn't even sure her instincts were right but her hands kept shaking.

"Pep?" Tony sounds surprised to here from her. "Don't tell you two set the house on fire while I was gone."

His humor sends an atom bomb of dread from her heart to her gut. "Oh god," she takes a deep breath. "Tony, something's wrong."

"Woah, woah, woah. What do you mean, something's wrong? Aren't you at home, with Raven?" Fear lines Tony's voice.

"Where are you?" Pepper asks him urgently. "Where are you?"

"At the compound!" He shouts frantically, the hysteria is contagious. "Your turn! Where are you?"

"I'm still at work. Raven called me and said you were going to pick me up," she rambled. "And I don't know, I just had this feeling when I saw this car drive by the building and -"

"You picked the absolute worst time to develop maternal instincts." Tony takes a shaky breath. "I told Friday to keep an eye on her, she should have called me if Raven left the building."

"I took a picture of this car. It's like those armored ones they had in Washington four years ago."

"Send it to me and I'll call you back. Right now, go home and see what's up with Friday. I'll get there as soon as I can."

"Okay, okay… Tony," her voice cracks, "you don't think…"

"Baby, go home, I'll be right there."

Pepper gathers her things and makes her way to the company parking garage. There's a knot in her stomach, when she steps in the elevator. It grows as she descends. There's no clear way to explain why she knows Raven is in trouble. Pepper simply knows and it makes her want to scream. Raven has been hurt so long, repeatedly, and here she is being hurt yet again. The doors open and she starts to walk toward her car. If she's anything like Tony, and I know she is, she'll be fine. Pepper repeats this to herself over and over as she briskly approaches her car. She isn't alone, three security guards have surrounded her car. They turn at the clicking of her heels. One of them raises her hand and tell her to step back.

"What is it?" She asks.

The younger of the guards waves his phone. "Miss Potts, I was doing my rounds and I dropped my phone. I stooped down to pick it up and I noticed something under your car. I'm no tech expert but it looked weird, so I called in backup."

The elder guard is shaking his head. "It looks like some sort of disk. It doesn't have a timer or one of those flashing lights. As security we think you should call Mr. Stark immediately."

Did Raven know? Of course she did, she's Tony's daughter. That's why she kept me in the office. Pepper hands them her phone, holding back her increasing panic. "Take a picture of it."

* * *

Tony feels himself choke on nothing. He has no idea what his body wants to do, buckle or vomit. This has to be a joke right? It has to be. There's no way Raven would be so stupid as to put herself in harms way. Yet as he thinks these words he remembers something horrifying, she's his daughter and has an extreme code of honor like Steve. It's a recipe for catastrophe.

"Tony?" Rhodey comes beside him. "What's going on? Hey," he squeezes his shoulder, "Tony, you're scaring me. More than usual."

"Uh… I don't know." He clears his throat, "Friday, you got an eye on Raven?" He speaks a little louder into his phone. "Friday?"

Whatever doubt he was toying with goes out the window. Raven wasn't exactly welcoming to their A.I., never once did she try talking to her or using her. Don't tell me she dismantled Friday, just to cover her tracks. With an audible inhale through his nostrils he sits down in the closest chair.

"Raven isn't at the Tower, Friday isn't responding and Pepper just got a cryptic message from Raven – from a phone I didn't give her. Not that I gave her Pepper's number either." He rubs his face, the shock is setting in. "And Pepper says she saw a car." He brings it up on his phone and passes around. "Says it reminds her of the armored ones they used when they bum rushed Nick… Did I forget to mention she's suddenly conjured up maternal instincts all of sudden?"

Steve is the first to confirm it. "They do look the same. So what Raven is going to have a chat with some Hydra thugs?"

It's technically not an accusation at this point. Yet his wording lays the grounds for a migraine. _He doesn't like me much._ Yeah, no kidding, he wishes he could tell her. Even when you're possibly in trouble he can't resisting spinning it on you. He can almost hear her voice saying, _I did try to tell you. No one trusts me._

Natasha gives him a severe glare. "Tony, what did she tell Pepper?" She hands him back his phone.

"She was stalling her from leaving the building." He snaps his head up, "Wait – that means…" No sooner he breathes out the last syllable, there's a message on his phone. A picture, sent from Pepper. Found this under the car, what do we do? "And Pepper just found a bomb under her car." He's also wants to scream because, dammit, Raven should have called him. This is what he's here for. But right now he's so upset and frightened to be let down.

"That's definitely Hydra…" Bucky murmurs as he peers over Tony's shoulder. "… I used those. That one doesn't have a timer. It has to be detonated by a phone or a receiver."

Tony has to close his eyes to think. "At least you're going to be useful today." He half expects his hands to start shaking like Raven's does. "So what, we rip it off?"

"Yeah. If they're gone, it'll be out of range."

Tony reluctantly takes his plan to heart. "Is there anyway of tracing the plates on that car?"

"They'll dump it or change the plates," Bucky sadly told him.

"Then we trace her number," Clint suggested. "She had to have called Pepper from somewhere."

"If she made it I doubt that'll work. Smarter than me, remember?" Tony realizes, with extreme foot dragging, how dangerous Raven can be. She's smarter than him, he can't begin to fathom what goes on in her head. She could humiliate his old man without breaking a sweat and then go read one of her cheesy young adult books. She gave the twins their powers and made sure they lived to used them, saved Barnes, dodging the axe of death at every turn. _People think I'm shady on a good day._ She was telling him all along, in hints. That she knew how Shield and the Avengers secretly felt about her. Raven was absolutely fine with it, accepted it like the color of the sky, and the weather.

Rhodey is already gathering keys and tossing them at people. "I'm so going to need a heart check after this."

"I'll pay for it," Tony grumbles. "And I'll join you."

* * *

Pepper took the news the worst. Hearing that Ravenput herself in harm's way to protect her was enough to bring small tears to her eyes. It was such a childish thing to do with very adult stakes. To say, I'll go to spare someone else from pain, when it was something that could kill her. Tony thought about the time he held out his hand to Pepper and said, _I'll catch you but you gotta let go,_ only to miss and watch her fall. Watching Rhodey fall out of the sky. And here was Raven, no sense of grandeur, getting her objective done. Raven wanted Pepper safe, and she was now surrounded by the arguably best security on the planet. Whenever Raven wanted someone rescued and protected, she did it herself and broke the hands of those whom touched what she loved. Seeing Pepper, unharmed albeit distraught, Tony understood Raven. It wasn't about making people like her or trust her, it was about keeping the people she cared about alive and safe.

"So we have no way to trace whatever she used to make that call?" Pepper is barefoot and still in her work clothes. The bomb Bucky personally ripped off the bottom of her car is in the workshop, being scanned for any possible traces to a detonator.

"She hacked Friday," Tony tells her. "Whatever tech she's got… I'm gonna need a bigger boat."

"Are you serious?" Sam remarked incredulously. "She was put through Shield security checks when they found her beat up with a broken leg. Are you telling me, this sixteen year old, who was on a designer drug bender, outsmarted Shield?"

"She had been tortured." Clint reminded them. "She was terrified."

"Don't remind me. And she was lucid enough to bring a bag of tricks," Sam threw back. He glances to Natasha, "She's giving you a run for your money."

Natasha frowns at Sam. "Raven isn't a spy. She's a girl who's had to live among the worst of people. You can understand why she would have some tricks up her sleeve when things go wrong."

"I can! But," he piped up, "I get a little nervous when she can sneak these party favors by Shield. Especially when she's not even all there."

That tugs a sour chord with Tony. He can almost see Raven now, afraid to trust the people who keep seeing her as some intelligent lunatic. When that wasn't her at all, nor was it her fault for coming of that way. Tony sees a little girl with freckles and big ears, having her family ripped away from her because of something she couldn't control. Being kidnapped because of something she couldn't comprehend. Being lied to because a man's legacy that threatened another man's agenda. Tortured because she refused to be the leader they wanted. Seen as suspect because she wasn't ready to die as to be absolved of her wrongdoings. Who wouldn't go insane?

"Hey!" Tony thunders. Everyone looks at him like he was the Hulk, even Pepper was taken back by his volume. "Don't talk about her like that," he warned Sam. "Don't."

Steve hears the steel in his voice like a knife, being drawn. "Tony, take it easy."

"Excuse me?" Tony snaps. "Take it easy? That's rich coming from you."

Steve sighs, "Sam didn't mean it like that."

"Oh, you're giving me a language lesson now? Then pray tell Sam, what did you mean? Other than Raven's missing her marbles?"

Sam takes a stab at lying. "She's got a unique way of seeing things."

"Wow, that was… I've seen guilty dogs on Youtube more convincing." Tony rubs his face, turning his back on them. He doesn't know how to help Raven in this corner. Everyone's focusing on the bad, when the good is right here. She protected Pepper, lured the danger away and no one seemed to think that was worth noting.

"Tony, were you with Raven today?" Natasha wonders. "Did she tell you anything?"

"Yeah, we spent the day together." He faces them. "She didn't tell me she was going to go pick a fight with some Hydra guys."

"What did she talk to you about?" Wanda joins in.

His mind goes back to what Wanda told him about the "Pretty Baby" thing. And what Raven told him about her little Snowflake Soldier. _I'm not that irresponsible._ Was that she did? Play games, switching between the White Hat and Black Hat. Playing dumb until your enemy's back was turned? Smart, albeit a little scary.

"It was in confidence," he tells them pointedly. "So don't you read my mind. I'm watching those hands," he gestures to Wanda.

He thinks about how Raven smiled when she talked about her girlfriend. How warmly her eyes glowed, the silly way she said, _she's way cooler than me._ Talking about her handler who she had some type of paternal relationship with, only to abuse her between the good times. It reminds him of Howard, the man, the legend to others. The drinker, and bully to Tony.

"Tony, if she told you anything about Hydra we need to know," Steve tells him authoritatively.

"You wanna hear about her foster home?" Tony shouts. "About her little school friends or the bicycle she had?" Those things are true but not what anyone will really care about.

Clint however sympathizes. "She told you about before Hydra got her?"

"Apparently she was a little tomboy." Tony's tone softens. "Had a best friend she would ride around with, play soccer and climb trees."

Pepper is about to start sobbing, with a heartbroken smile. "She was a tomboy, with a best friend." It's so mystifying, imagine Raven as anything other than Hydra's ace in the hole. That once she was a normal little girl with friends, who went to school, and was happy.

"His name was Colin," Tony tells her. "He thought they were destined to be best friends because their names consisted of five letters and ended in Ns. I personally think he had a huge crush on her." He adds, "Her foster family sounded really nice. Like, cookie cutter, Hallmark greeting card, nice."

Clint lets out a loud breath. "She remembers a lot of stuff before Hydra?"

"Yeah," Tony nods. "Down side of having a mega brain right? Endless volumes of information. Can't forget anything if you wanted to."

* * *

 **I am so sorry for the delay guys. I really am. Feel free to bash me for the delay.**

 **Anyways the usual speech, review, predict, and critique.**

 **Now I put a link on profile for my tumblr, I don't know if it works though. Let me know via PM if you don't mind.**


	21. Chapter 21

_**Chapter 21**_

When Raven passed out it wasn't darkness that greeted her but, a blinding light. She was on her back, feet bare and cold, hands shaking from hunger, her thin clothes felt heavy against her body. To breathe was to suffer, skin stretching over bruised muscles. The stationary light was comforting, compared to the mobile madness around her. She tried to move, but was tied down. Is this is the day? She thinks. The day it ends, or gets worse?

A door opens, closing noisily. "Raven."

Her eyes roll to the direction the voice came. There is no one else in the world with a Hungarian accent who would follow her here, yet his face startles her as though he suddenly came to be. Janos stares down at her with abominable tears in his eyes. His eyes have dark circles and his age is distinguishable. Her Wax Faced Papa is strangely human. His hand trembles as it pats her head, feebly attempting to smoothen her tangled tresses. Combing through grease and dried blood. Even this affection hurts, making her whimper. The sound makes him step back, unable to look at her.

"J… an… os…" She croaks, sounding like a demon using a broken voice box. It makes Janos stare at her, as if her suffering is painted on her like a romantic oil painting.

"Shh," he hushes her. "Don't speak. You'll hurt yourself."

"T… oo… la… ate…" She smiles, showing off bloodstained teeth. It's the only liquid she's tasted today. If today is today, or today is tonight.

Janos, her handler, the father she chose, was never shy of gore. He took life as gladly as he spared it. This however, disturbs him. Raven sees it in his eyes, the way he wants to distance himself from this unsightly occurrence. This however, doesn't move him to help her. Tick tock tick tock, goes the clock, tick tock tick tock. The voices sang in her head. Time's running out.

"You need to listen to me Raven." He looks down at her. "This is imperative to your survival."

He's pleading with her but Raven can't find it in herself to care. She's so tired, everything hurts and she can't rest. It's not safe to lower her guard here, despite Janos being with her. Hydra drove her into this predicament. He was at the helm steering the ship into the Bermuda Triangle.

"If you're not going to comply willing, you will be made to." He comes closer, urging her to listen. "They have grown tired of the girl Raven, they only want the mind now." He cups her cheek, thumb caressing a hardened scab. "You are to take Arnim Zola's place, with necessary modifications."

Raven whines in a distorted manner that could vaguely be called weeping. "No… No… D… on't… l… et… the… em… Puh… leeze…" He tries to calm her but Raven's grief quickly turns to fury. He's betraying her, again. He's letting them hurt her, again. He's letting Hydra put her brain in a food processor and toy with the buttons. "Y…a… pra… om… missed… me…"

"I know what I promised you, but you…" He sighs, "You're mental state has become a cause of concern. We had a method of helping you but it has proven ineffective. And you refused to compromise, after I warned you." There's that testy Dad Tone of his, the frustration and disappointment. "And before you surrender, you forge on, out of spite. Now look where you are."

Why is it her fault? He gave her the pills to take when the panic attacks started. Changed them when she couldn't sleep. Gave her more when she couldn't stay focused. He brought her into this fray, let them work her to the bone. But, of course it's her fault she's going to die and be experimented on posthumously. All because she couldn't be a good little operative.

"So… I… mmm… sca… rewed…"

His face softens. It was a private game of theirs – once. For every long-winded speech he gave, Raven responded in layman's terms, or her native Irish slang. "For a lack of better words, yes Raven, you are screwed." He steps back from her. The Father has been switched with her Superior Officer for a moment. Only a brief moment, to do his job. "You have two options, before you." He held up his pointer finger and thumb. "One. You swear you will useful to Hydra from now on, as an advisor. You will live out your days off the grid, in a location you will not have the address to. You are to live there and not leave for a minimum of seven years. Are you listening Raven?"

"Y… esss…" She digests this option, with distant nausea.

"Good. You will stay on this premises under my and Gyurri's supervision. We will see that you comfortable and taken care of. You are to have no contact with the outside world, save for us and those we deem suitable. You are not to speak to any one of your friends, they are to be dead to you and you will be to them. If you violate these rules you will suffer grave punishments."

Raven's hears her heart stamping between her ears. A glorified prison, by herself for seven years and maybe she can have freedom. On the single condition that she must help Hydra, no mucking about. "T-T-T… Two?"

"You die," he deadpans. "You will be put down like an animal, with a special blend to minimize any distress. Your skull will be cut open with a bone saw. Your brain shall be removed, and several doctors will perform a unique lobotomy that has proven itself very effective on other test subjects. Are you still with me?"

This is another layer of their games. Whenever she gets overwhelmed or frightened, he asks her, Are you with me? It was such a common thing even her friends use those words to anchor her mind. Stay with me. Don't go Raven. Still there? Now Janos uses them to destroy her. She nods unable to speak.

"Everything that inspires you to resist aiding Hydra will be burned or cut out of you. The memory of your parents, early childhood memories up to age nine, most emotions that will distress you post-surgery and several major aspects of the right side of your brain. You will forget everything that has been holding you back, you may even forget me, that you once you were my daughter and that you were human. You will have no pain or madness, because you will have no memories to feed those emotions."

Her breathing quickens like she wants to scream but she can't. Janos told her everything in such an even, practiced pace, she's more frightened of him than her options. He was going to let her decide. Let them hurt her, destroy her life. This is her father, the man who promised to love her, vowed that he would never let Hydra turn her into Arnim Zola. She wants to hate him, tell where he can stick his options but all she can do is beg. He has to help her, he has to… he promised he always would.

"Please…" She babbles. "Th… ey… can… t… You… w… on't…"

"These are your choices Raven, and you have to pick now."

"Wha… N… ooo…" She shakes her head. "No…" It's horrible enough she must choose the way to die, but now? Right now?

"Raven," he tells her firmly. "Time has run out for you. You tested everyone's patience, played games with time, and resources, now you pay the price. Your mind or your life?"

When did she have either of them? She wants to yell at him. When did I ever have my mind for myself and a life to live? You stole it from me. You took my life from me and fed me lies! He wants me to live in that secret location, doesn't he? So he still gets to see me. Have me all to himself without my friends. He wants to get his way. Well, fat chance, she thinks grinding her teeth. If I die, you'll suffer with me.

"F… -… off…" She dryly spits.

Janos recoils like Raven's shot him. "What?"

His gaul sends a jolt of adrenaline through her. How dare he be offended? How dare he? "F- off!" She screams. Her vocal chords feel ready to snap with each shout, but she wants them to hear. Let everyone hear, if they're going to kill her they better do it right. She chants the profanity and starts banging her head against the slab. Bang! Bang! Bang! Bang! Kicking her heels, rocking her body. Anything to cause a racket and vent the feverish rage. He doesn't get the right, asking her to pick her poison. After everything he's done, he deserves nothing from her. If she must die so be it, she only prays that Hydra does kill every part of her. If they don't, there will be hell to pay.

* * *

Raven opens her eyes, face down, drooling. Waking up feels like someone shot a bomb of air into her. Violent, demanding her to move. Her body flips onto her back she's gasping from an immovable, intangible weight on her chest. Her heart wants to burst out of her chest, snapping back and forth on a bungee chord with each frantic beat. Nails scrape on the concrete, willing her body to stay together.

Ba-dum, ba-dum, ba-dum, breathe. Ba-dum, ba-dum, ba-dum, breathe. Ba-dum, ba-dum, ba-dum, breathe.

That's why Janos was so moved when he saw her two months ago. It wasn't love, but guilt. He had left her to die, and thought she killed herself on her own terms. He took advantage of her repressed memory. As he always does. Her blood surges, boiling magma from behind her eyes to her toes. Fists shake as she staggers to her feet. Every inch of her is quaking, unsteadiness turning into feverish strength. Her body is running hot, pulse hammering in a frenzy, this is going to be the adrenaline rush of all adrenaline rushes. Her body preps for the bass drop of all bass drops.

In the corner of her eyes she sees Fatty approaching in the distance. Slipping her hand into her one of her inner hoodie pockets, she pulls out her baton. With a flick of her wrist it flies open. She's going make them wish they shot her in the head. Make them pray to Whomever they believe in, that her mother's boyfriend had killed her, that her mom had an abortion. They are going to curse the day they heard her name.

Raven has never felt this angry before. Not when Janos abandoned her after scarring her back. When Eun Gi was hurt, and Auntie Lee despised her. When the twins ran off and sided with that stupid robot. Nothing compared to this moment. If Steve Rogers were running towards her, and not Fatty and his growing crew, she would have easily broken his neck. She wanted to destroy everything in her path that challenged her. Tear it apart until its existence was erased from history. Hit and hit and hit until they were both bleeding. Her vibranium baton was not meant to kill but she was about to get very, very, creative.

"How the hell are you still breathing?" Fatty shouted at her. If only they could see how determined she was to live. They'd run to the Avengers and beg to be arrested.

"Come and find out," she growled.

Five guys, she counts smiling. He brought back up. Most people don't know, but Raven was trained to fight. Felix taught her to box, where a bare-fisted punch counts and how to clench her fists. Knocking her down and making her stand up by herself. Eun Gi showed her how to get bigger opponents off their feet. Take a gun out of someone's hand. How to never stop because it hurts. Sparring with her until they were sweaty and incapable of standing. Personally guns aren't her thing, she likes knives. Ever since she started watching Janos carve and butcher meat. The way his hands deftly moved with artistry and precision. Raven was always good with her hands, long before Hydra.

With this drug induced adrenaline rush, she slices through them. Everything she learned and taught herself coming in handy, and scaring Fatty. Everyone thought she was weak, nothing but a manic teenager who could control the world if it were a chest board. Nothing like her biological father. Tony was the hero, the unofficial fighter, Iron Man. Thinking about being compared to him – especially now, makes a buried chord break. The one thing that will chase her until she dies. The Stark everyone wanted for their own uses. The Stark no one really wants. She kicks a goon against a wall and swings the baton along his throat. The crack should churn her stomach, there's only annoyance. The Stark everyone wishes never existed. The Stark that's insane, and should be locked up.

She shakes her head. No. They'll have to kill me first. No one is going to ever lock me up again.

So far two guys are down, leaving three, along with the two she took out earlier who are coming to. She's back at the beginning, five guys coming at her. This is going to suck, she decides as the mercenaries surrounding her. Raven doesn't flinch or entertain the thought of doubt. She'll survive but it's going to hurt like a bitch.

In a stance she waits for one, or all, to start swinging. When a car skids towards them. Your typical, slick, four passenger vehicle. Not the black four by fours, that you can cram six guys and several grenade launchers into. They all scatter, because its not slowing down for anyone. Raven rolls out of the way vaguely wondering if someone found her. She typically isn't so lucky. Honestly she can't imagine any one of the Avengers wanting to find her. Not after lying, tampering with their equipment. Steve figured it out earlier, but now they had tangible proof. Could she even go back to the Tower?

The car honked, once, twice and then two quick beats. Trying to mimic that horn sound effect you heard in songs and skits. She knew only one person who liked doing that. No way, she thinks. No freaking way. But she can't squander this opportunity with her indecision, someone is here to help with her less than ideal odds. Picking up a gun for the man who's neck she broke, she starts firing at the back of every head she sees. Soon no one knows who to pay attention to, Raven or the black car. It honks that stupid tune again. Get in the damn car, it translates. Yet it speeds off, making a round trip so Raven can meet it without the risk of getting shot. And she runs, tossing her flash disk toward them. It explodes as Raven sprints toward the car. The door opens and she springs in. Her foot barely hooks on the door's rail, tugging it shut before it speeds off.

A heavily Korean accent snarls, "You are in so much trouble with me." And Raven couldn't agree more.

Eun Gi glares at her from the driver's seat. Pissed and dressed for a fight. Raven's heart flutters. She was ready to fight until her knuckles shattered, frothing for the fight for her life. Now everything dials down. The overflowing pot cools to a controlled boil. Her heart is still beating a trillion beats a minute, but the rage is back on a leash. Just from looking at her.

"Are you okay?" Eun Gi snaps in the same breath.

"Ask me later," Raven pants.

* * *

Tony was starting to lose his cool. It only took two plus hours trying to undo whatever Raven had done to Friday and getting nowhere, for him to give up. Having the Avengers watching him struggle made it hard to concentrate. Especially Steve who's scowl deepened with each failed attempt to bypass Raven's "block". Tony was the one who rubbed it in his face that Raven's intelligence was her own superpower. Now it was biting him in the ass. How did she even program this thing? He tried every code he had lying around to comb through Friday's main system, looking for a metaphorical weak spot. Raven's programing was complete gibberish. It's almost like those nonsensical codes on the back of cereal boxes you make for kids to decipher.

"She's got her code in a code," he exclaims to himself. Of course, so even if someone found it they would dismiss it or spend hours going about it all wrong. She must have spent days formulating this, maybe even months. That's dedication, he thinks with a twinge of fatherly pride. She made her files impregnable with her own personal code. Which he has to decipher if he wants to get back access to Friday. "Oh c'mon!" He slaps his head at the realization. How the hell is he supposed to solve this?

"What is it?" Steve materializes behind him. "Breakthrough?"

Everyone is miraculously in his workshop, waiting on baited breath. Might as well share his discovery. "Raven has a program within her program. The last two hours I spent picking at this thing was for nothing but she's created her very own code."

"I'm gonna pretend I know what this actually means," Sam muttered.

"It means Tony can't fix it because she's got Friday trapped behind a scramble of computer code." Rhodey rubs his face exhaustedly. "Can we even begin to hope that she wrote it down somewhere?"

"She wouldn't be that careless," Natasha suspects. "What's the point of making a secret code only to have the cheat sheet lying around."

"Not to mention you said she's dealing with paranoia," Clint adds.

"So we're stuck," Bucky sums up dejectedly.

In the distance Pepper folds her arms tightly to her stomach. Typically she would have a lot to say in a situation like this. Her silence made Tony anxious, she's thinking about Raven being in trouble and us not being able to find her. The pressure is building, stacking up on his shoulders. Steve wants Raven found, to grill her for answers. Pepper wants Raven found, to have her safe from harm. Tony has to deliver or everything is going to fall apart. No biggie.

"We should go through her things," Steve suggested. "Maybe we'll find clues. If she doesn't come back we'll be held hostage by her program."

If she doesn't come back, hangs in the air making the room go silent. Bucky and Natasha gawk pointedly at him, signaling with their eyes to Pepper who goes stiff. Even Tony can't help but mouth, lowly enough only for the Avengers to hear, "Nice going Capiscle."

Steve glances to Pepper, regret marring his face. He forgot how Raven only did this because Pepper was in danger. If Raven died, it would affect Pepper more than anyone. He opens his mouth to smooth over his callous observation, for Pepper's sake, more than any concern for Raven. Natasha wisely glares at him to keep quiet before he made it worse.

"Raven's resourceful," she says loud enough for Pepper to hear. "You don't survive Hydra just to be killed by them."

Pepper's tension slackens, but she isn't put at ease. "Steve do you remember any of the actors before the war?" She turns to Steve, face grim. "An actor that was Irish, James Cagney?"

Steve and Bucky blinked. "Jimmy Cagney?" Bucky supplies. "Wasn't he always in those gangsters movies?" He asks Steve doubting his memories.

"Yeah…" Steve isn't sure where Pepper is going with this. "Why are you asking?"

"He's Raven favorite actor, she likes his death scenes. She said, if there was anyway she'd like to go, it's the way he did." She rubs her arms, shaking off her fledging maternal instincts. "I just remembered."

Clint however shies away from the dark topic. "She's into old movies? Black and white movies?" He choses to focus on the good things. "What?" He grumbles at the incredulous looks shot at him. "Maybe one of her security questions will about a movie from when Steve went into the ice."

"I already know the answer to that," Tony grumbles. "Her favorite movie is Arsenic and Old Lace, a dark comedy starring Cary Grant, that came out in nineteen-forty-four."

Steve says nothing that might betray a non-Hydra interest in Raven. Simply cocks his eye brows, not expecting that at all. Tony wonders if Raven and Steve met sooner, they might have gotten along. They were so similar, in their extreme loyalties and less than magnet personalities. A lot of things could have been solved if people didn't stall; Vivian, Raven's godmother, him, and Steve. How different Raven's life would have been if the adults in her life acted in her best interest, instead of theirs.

"What else does she like?" Clint sticks strong to his password strategy.

"Vincent Van Gogh. Skateboarding. Red heads." He says the last thing thinking about what Raven's foster mother said. Everyone thinks he means Pepper. Both are technically true, so he doesn't further explain.

"The books in her room?" Steve reluctantly requests.

"Classics," Tony murmurs. "A few young adult ones." He never looked at them at once, only when she had them in her hand. "The system isn't asking for a password," he reminds them.

"But maybe we'll find a clue," Steve tells him. "What did she come here with?"

Tony can't remember. Raven came into his life with a half empty duffle bag. He figured it was what she salved from the base that blew up. Maybe it was it was a travel bag for bad days? Yet like Sam said, Shield checked it inside and out. Natasha and Clint was there, yet no one saw anything strange. Before he can stop him Steve goes to Raven's room to investigate for himself. He has to run after him, leaping past Pepper. Her bedroom and art studio were _her_ spaces. One of the things that won Raven over was having these things that were hers, and no one else's.

"Hey, hey," he grabs his shoulder. "You can't go nosing around her room."

Steve slaps his hand away, with only a fraction of aggression. It was some form of progress. "Dammit Tony, Friday is offline and Hydra is running around New York! Civilians are at risk, and that's on Raven. She's keeping secrets from us to protect her friends, which can and will cost innocent people their lives. She may be your daughter, she may be a kid, but she can't do this!"

He doesn't know what makes the bulb in his head come on, but it does. That's what this is about. She's putting herself on the block to protect her friends in Hydra, _her girlfriend._ She edited her file so no one could be traced from her. Most of all her handler. It was there all along. There was no file or footnote about him, the man who scarred Raven's back, who parented her. Because he's family, the only family she really has. Was he behind this? Hurting Pepper to lure Raven out? Is that what Raven's truly afraid of; the man who raised her, hates for her to hurt herself, dye her hair and have tattoos?

He was the man who adopted her, Tony realizes. Protecting her friends wouldn't require that much editing. But if she was hiding who her handler was, it might. Oh my god, Raven was _that_ messed up. Protecting an abuser was textbook, Abused Child 101.

"Not much to go on," Sam remarks as suddenly everyone is in Raven's bedroom. He follows Steve who's examining her bookshelf, like it might spell out Raven's secrets. "You weren't kidding about the classics."

This whole thing is leaving a bad taste in his mouth. "Just make sure everything is where you found it when your done."

"Not the first time I did this Tony," Steve murmurs. He picks up Raven's worn copy of Frankenstein, flicks through the pages and puts it back. He should be able to tell everyone what books are in her room so Steve wouldn't have to do this. He bought Raven's things, had a catalogue of them. Steve goes to pick a thin black book, The Crow. That's one of her favorite movies. He remembered her telling him about it.

"Gimme that." He snaps his fingers at him. Steve reluctantly gives it to him. "This is her favorite one." He never noticed it before. Did she tell him about having a graphic novel to it? It was definitely in line with her tastes, macabre and artsy.

"What's it about?" Bucky wonders.

"A man who comes back from the dead to avenge his girlfriend who was raped and killed by thugs," Tony summarizes. "There's a movie about it."

"God," Clint grimaces. "And what's the happy ending? That he passes on knowing the people responsible died?"

"Pretty much." Tony thumbs back and forth between the pages. "Who's Brandon Lee?" He mutters to himself. More to deter from the topic of Raven's morbid tastes than actual interest. "The book's dedicated to him."

Natasha pulls out her phone and Google searches. "He was the lead actor from the movie, died on-set due to an accident. The graphic novel you're holding was put back into print because he made the movie so popular."

"Celebrity crush." Clint chalks it up to. "Brandon Lee." He points to the tattered book Steve put back. "Favorite book, Frankenstein."

"Is me or is everything she likes, very very very, creepy kid chic?" Sam quips. Several people give him dirty looks. "I'm just saying, every kid that goes crazy in this country had tell-tale signs in their rooms."

"She is a creepy kid," Tony admits. "Text book, but for god's sake it was because her mom with murdered and she was actually raised by wolves and bears." Everyone looks at him to expand. He sighs, "She may have had a mutilating Barbies phase when she was in foster care."

Sam stares wild eyed at Tony. "You're kidding me. You do realize that is textbook childhood sociopathy? There is a laundry list of serial killers who started out by mutilating toys?"

"It was only because she wanted to recreate her family." He can't even start to say that with confidence. Behind him standing by the door is Pepper who folds her arms tightly together. He wanted to tell her this in private. This is the past time and place he wanted to talk about Raven and her depressing childhood.

"Oh my god…" Rhodey groans. "Are you telling me she likely remembered her mother's murder and obsessively recreated it? Is that what she did?" Tony opens his mouth to defend Raven, reminding them that she was never an entirely typical little girl. Rhodey stops him before he gets the chance. "No! Tony, has this even been touched in her therapy sessions?"

"No," Tony confesses, defeated. To be fair he hasn't talked about his mom being murdered by a certain person in the room either.

Rhodey gawks at Tony, flabbergasted at the collage being pieced together. "So Steve might actually be onto something? This girl could be a psychopathic mastermind, who Hydra drove off the deep end and taught her how to hide it. Because what I'm getting here is that Raven was – mentally unstable," he corrects himself apologetically. "Long before Hydra got a hold of her. That more than likely we've got a little girl who ten steps ahead of everyone she distrusts, who's so off the rails, Hydra couldn't control her!"

"Even when they had her doped up," Sam adds unhelpfully. "Now her mind's clear as it'll ever be, and we're flying blind."

"I know!" Tony yells. "I get it, okay? I told all of you in the compound, I know she's a little nutty -"

"No no no," Rhodey interrupts. "This isn't a little nutty. You deciding to becoming a superhero out of the blue, and overhauling your company, was a little nutty. What Raven is, is a code red if I ever saw one."

"Just stop!" Pepper shouts at them. "Listen to yourselves! This is a sixteen year old child who was kidnapped when she thought she was being adopted. Who was repeatedly abused for years, and you're all surprised she's not well?"

This is his Pep, ready to put the brakes on the madness. Tony wished he could fall to his knees and kiss her feet. You tell them baby.

Pepper turns to Steve. "You may not have a lot of experience with children Steve but you have no idea what Raven is recovering from! She hasn't know love and safety since she was seven or eight years old." She shouted, "Her mother was murdered mere feet from her by a man she thought she was her father. Her godmother abused her, and threw her into foster care the first chance she got. And you expected her to have a clear, developed sense of boundaries? Right and wrong?"

Steve fumbles at being told off. But her recovers quickly with the first humble tone he expressed since he met Raven. "We should…"

"No!" She interrupts. "I didn't say anything when all of you," she flings her arms around the room, "had a televised fist fight over someone who came out of same dark place as Raven."

"To be fair," Sam argues, "he was forced to kill people."

"And to be fair, Raven has told us nothing about what she did! Nothing!" She screams. "All she lets slip are these vague events in her life where she was punished or hurt, all because she told someone, no. I am not comparing wounds here, but most of you in this room had parents, childhoods, and made a choice to be Avengers. Raven never once got a choice, she just did what she had to." Tears start to come from her eyes, and her feelings flow over. "She doesn't let you touch her! If you stand too close she flinches, or moves ten steps to the other direction! And look." She pulls a note from her pocket. "I found this on my desk. Raven wrote this and left it exactly where I would see it the second I go into my office."

Natasha, who is standing nearest to her takes it from her and reads aloud, "Sorry about this, I'll be back as soon as I can, Love R."

"Like if she's going to the damn store!" Pepper exclaims split between anger and grief. Her hand goes into her hair as she tries to calm herself down. "That girl doesn't know what she's doing. She thinks this is okay, and I'm sick of everyone ready to condemn her for not knowing any better. Raven isn't a bad person, she's a child who doesn't know any better. She needs our help, not us pointing fingers at her."

* * *

 **Anotherscribe here! I did my best to update as soon as I could! I know, I know, we're focusing a lot of the distrust of Raven at this point, but we're going to get over it in a minute.**

 **As always review and let me know what you think. I've never wrote any action scenes before, so let me know how I did (and what to fix).**

 **Btw I fix the link on my profile, I just wrote it wrote since ffnet is oddly against me adding links. So feel free to say hi on my Tumblr, for fanfic queries, submissions or just to make friends.**

 **Another special shout out to the lovely darling who sent me the pic of the Van Gogh cast. *Heart eyes for days*. Stuff like that really touches me, and you guys have no idea how much.**

 **Until next time, Anotherscribe**


	22. Chapter 22

_**Chapter 22**_

There's no time to talk or even acknowledge the startling feeling of being together again. Eun Gi is driving the opposite direction of New York, Fatty is scrambling to follow and Raven is making sure that Pepper is still in Stark Industries. They have a head start on escaping but right now they have to create some distance. Get away from civilians, don't draw Shield's attention. They never have to discuss such things because that's how it always is; play dirty and don't get caught.

Raven takes advantage of this moment to catch her breath. Her adrenaline is rabid and thirsty, she wants to get out of the car and fight but her heart needs the break. A bag in the backseat catches her eye, she pulls it into the front seat, it's slightly bigger than a handbag. Inside it is her collection of fighting knives, a handgun, two magazines, and a mask for her face. A matching one to Eun Gi's, that's reminiscent of the Winter Soldier's. The Avengers would definitely frown upon this. Raven puts it on like a muzzle, fastening it around her head. The additional armor is soothing, the familiarity of her old life.

In the side mirror she can see Fatty's car behind a line of others. She slips two knives up each sleeve, one in each pocket on her hoodie, and the remaining in her front and back pockets. Out of habit, she crosses herself, bringing her cross to her mask before tucking it safely away under her clothes. There was no way they were going to attack them in New York. Not with the Avengers visibly shuffling around. Not to mention the odd slew of vigilantes Raven heard reports about. New York was the wild wild west of guns, fists and knives. This was going to take forever, she realizes with a sigh. During their wait she could put Friday back online. Too bad she couldn't count on Tony to keep out of this.

"In Connecticut was the extraction location," Eun Gi said as they drove further and further out of New York. "They think they'll have the advantage there."

Translation; I took out all their men. It's only them and we're going to make them suffer. We letting them think we're running when were actually driving them to their graves. Aren't I awesome?

"Let's disco," Raven nodded.

"To the mosh pit," Eun Gi quipped.

It was their secret phrase, something stupid they loved to say. The Let's Disco part was from Raven's beloved British crime drama Luther. To the mosh pit, was a phrase from their favorite video game Life is Strange. Eun Gi liked practicing her English with tongue twisters, resulting in her parroting a lot of American/British pop culture references.

" **So…** **Iron Man? Really?"** Eun Gi asks in Korean, her preferred language for serious topics. She has no subtle way to bring it up. And she couldn't be silent the whole time they drove, trying to shake Fatty and test his nerve to hold back until they reached the state lines. It was an amateur move to have a lovers's quarrel during a job, but she needed to clear her head. The second she saw that clip of Raven on a red carpet beside Tony Stark, she hadn't quite accepted it. She suspected Raven was simply a little fascinated with the only person on Earth she related to; a genius nearly as reckless as herself. The plan Hydra had was for Eun Gi to take him out after Project Insight had failed. Raven knew that, yet never said anything. A part of her was annoyed, primarily because this was _so Raven,_ keeping secrets and pretending she's okay. Another part of her is a little hurt because this was huge. Hydra actively tried to get the Avengers killed, rooted for their deaths, trained operatives to kill them with Raven front and center.

"… Are you pissed?" She's doing everything to not look at her, which infuriates her. Raven is always ready to be blamed before fault can be properly established.

There are two ways she can answer that question. Yes she's pissed because she should have told her. No, because obviously she wasn't ready to talk about it and Raven is allowed to be selfish for the sake of her own wellbeing. **"How long did you know?** **That it was him?** **"** She asked instead.

"When I was eight," Raven muttered. "He didn't know about me."

How many times did Eun Gi re-watch the footage of the gala? Not believing it was her Raven, dressed like a real life Cinderella. Each time she did she saw the small things only Raven did. Avoiding the cameras, trailing behind someone to show her the way through the madness, pursing her lips when someone brought uncomfortable attention on to her. The other thing she noticed was that fact, her insane Bird Brain, wore a vintage dress to a formal event. Only Raven.

Another thing was the man himself, Tony Stark.

Janos was Raven's father in Eun Gi's eyes. He was more of a father than her own. Arranging sleepovers, disapproving of fun things and ready to help her when he saw her suffering. Although Janos did push Raven into a table of chemicals, scarring her back for life, regularly berated her kinder nature, abandoning her when she rebelled, and was the reason she was in Hydra in the first place. And now, he allowed Raven to be tortured instead of getting her out. If Janos wanted to help he could have called her mother or Felix – well not him, since his father too was in on it. He could have hid Raven away, but he chose to leave her there. The same way he fooled them he could fool Hydra. Janos decided he was okay with letting his daughter die, for that Eun Gi was itching to kill him. Perhaps he was worse than her own father, at least he was honest with how little he cared for his children.

Tony Stark was on a whole another plane to that Hungarian bastard. When he had walked the red carpet, he kept his eye on Raven, held her hand and smiled at her, he cared and never left her side. Janos left Raven on her own at several events and Hydra bases, not at all worried at the outcome. Iron Man was a hero so there must be an astounding amount of decency in him. It did explain where Raven got her recklessness from, and her desire to do good.

" **You should have told me,"** is all she can say. **"You tell me everything else. Or at least Felix."**

"I know," Raven sighed, her leg bouncing anxiously. "So… how have you been?"

The awkward question makes her guilty. I should have been looking for you, I shouldn't have believed you were dead, body or not. I was feeling sorry for myself when you were fighting for your life. **"** **I was in** **Shanghai."**

"Working?" She asked, not accusing her of anything outright. Same old Raven, too sweet for her own good.

" **I needed a break from everything. After the bullshit funeral we had, I left and haven't spoken to anyone since."**

"Then how did you even find me?"

" **After I found out you were alive I went looking for Janos. I couldn't find him, then one of the boys told me that Rogelio was planning on taking you out. So I made my way here."**

"While killing everything in your way?" She smiled knowingly.

Eun Gi glances at Raven in the corner of her eye. Thinking about her being tortured while she did nothing, knew nothing. How she thought she was really gone. The girl who learned her language just to be friends. Who gave her little treat bags after training because she noticed how much it took a physical toll of her. Ready to sacrifice her dreams to keep her safe. Took a knife in the face to protect her. Loved her despite her family never being quite sure she was their family anymore. Saw as her as the most important thing in her universe. And now she's here like nothing's changed. These past five months Eun Gi was comatose with grief, now she was awake and reunited with her best friend after her worst nightmare.

It's the slowest chase Raven has ever been in. She and Eun Gi drive for over an hour, before it's just them and Fatty on an empty road. It gives her heart priceless time to rest and reset. She didn't mention it to Eun Gi, because this isn't the time for her to fret about her heart. No one can think she's weak, not when they believe she's laying on her back defeated. Her heart is back to a steady pace and now the main effects of the adrenaline has settled in. Raven's ripe for a fight and far from cardiac arrest, the disorientating shakes are gone.

Round two bastards, she thinks as they start shooting.

The car skids to a stop, bits of tire flapping and flying across the road. They were expecting it so they already have a plan of attack when they get out of the car. They don't see Eun Gi right away, because Raven has leapt out the car with her vibranium baton staff, flinging it like a javelin into their windshield. Fatty's shocked face can be seen behind the cracked glass, gawking at Raven at her near impeccable aim. He's stunned in place as his men rush out the car to stop her. They start shooting unaware both girls are wearing bulletproof clothes. Although Eun Gi is covered in it from head to toe, Raven just has her hoodie. They're aiming for Raven's chest primarily, so she isn't too afraid. It's her and Eun Gi versus eight armed, trained killers. They're in the woods with two wolves.

In the confusion from her random action they run up to the car. It's going to a good fashioned shootout and a street fight. Just the way they like it. Eun Gi comes out shooting, a gun in each hand. She's aiming at the guys in the back who stall for a split second too long, gawking at this unexpected development. Raven takes advantage at their confusion and rushes the men from the car nearest to her. The adrenaline is switched back on and she's numb to everything but the drumming of her roided out heart.

Someone tries to comes at Raven, she sticks one of her knives in his throat. It's short and thin, with a wide blade. The perfect weapon for breaching the weak points of armor. But only if you aren't afraid of getting close. Raven loves getting close for the intimidation factor, using her highly skilled hands. Another one comes at her, she fires a gun with her other hand into his knee. Getting him down, to finish him off. They were the amateurs, new blood that thought she was going to be easy. Fatty and his two men see she isn't messing around. The fire in her eyes are all-seeing headlights, beaming down at them. Now they see who she really is, how she survived this long. And they are genuinely terrified.

Behind them Eun Gi is handling three men, having a whale of a time. No one is going to help them take her down. Their fear is another shot of this supped up adrenaline coursing through her, egging her own and stopping her from collapsing. She comes toward them they aren't that far apart, all she has to do is make two huge leaps and they'd be face to face. The other guys step back, unsure of what to do. Rogelio clearly didn't tell them about her putting up a fight. They shake it off and decide to rush her, despite seeing how bad that idea was before.

The one of the left manages to knock the knife out of her hand. She repays him with a punch that would make Felix proud. His nose explodes with blood, he didn't see that coming. Nor did he see her pull out another gun – _Bang._ One of the many perks of being ambidextrous. The other one straight up kicks her across her back. A bit theatrical but it gets her to drop her guns. Before she can turn to hit him, he grabs her be her hoodie and flings her into their car. Because of the height difference and his strength, she goes flying across it. She reaches for her baton, hoping it would slow or stop her fall. Instead it comes with her as she hits the road, head first.

The guy comes around the front of the car, gun in hand to shoot her. Raven feels the bullet stinging and burning against her shoulder, but the bullet falls in the ground without piercing her body. He doesn't notice that, just the lack of blood on the ground. Giving Raven enough time to jut her baton into his crotch, buckling him. Raven gets up and kicks him into the wheel of the car, he gurgles away from it and she kicks him into it again. His skull bounces the side of the car and he falls to the ground. She slams her baton along his neck. Raven personally takes no pleasure in killing people who haven't actively done harm to her and those she loved, these men were hired guns doing their job. But she knows that clean morals won't keep her and her friends safe. So she doesn't allow herself to feel bad for their deaths, because they would rejoice in hers for a paycheck.

The only one left is Fatty. She advances toward him baton in hand, as he comes toward her a shotgun in one hand. His crew is a slew of bodies on the road, brought down by two girls. His pride is more than wounded. Does he have it in him to fight her head on? Or is he going to try and keep her away from him? Raven gets no further than the other side of the car when Fatty loses his nerve, impulsively shooting her with his shotgun, more out of spike than tactfulness. The hoodie was never tested with close-range impacts, and especially not from a shotgun. The look of dread on her face is genuine, there was a reasonable chance of her dying.

Ain't that some shit, she thought as she hits the ground. But she can still see the sky. I'm alive, holy shit, I'm alive. Forgetting Fatty for a second she touches her chest, no blood, and the bullet is lodged in the fabric, distorted and flaming hot.

"Stupid bitch," Fatty snarls. "Not so smart now, are you?"

Her eyes roll to the side, and she sees one of her guns. Now or never, she thinks, reaching for it. Seeing her move makes him lean in to see if she's still breathing, exposing himself. "Smarter than you, dickhead," she growled, aiming her gun and firing. He drops down with a thump and there's silence, it's over.

The first thing that happened after the fight was Eun Gi running into her arms. Her arms wrapping around her, pulling her close. Trying to force her into her chest, to stay there forever. Raven's blood is pumping, she can taste her it and smell the blood of others, some of both might be on her. Yet when Eun Gi hugs her, all the noise cancels out. Everything fizzles out and she can't think about Tony and Pepper, or the Avengers. It doesn't matter right now. Nothing but these arms matter.

" **Are you okay?"** Eun Gi softly asks her.

"Yeah," Raven nods. "I live to have me arse kicked another day."

She smiles and Raven's heart achingly stutters. Eun Gi pulls away to cup her face, thumb caressing her scarred cheek, middle finger running along the scar on her hairline. Lost in the fact Raven's here too. With a shake of her head, she shatters the moment regrettably bringing them back to reality.

"We better get moving." She goes to the car to gather what's theirs, tossing Raven's now stuffed messenger back at her. "I parked another car off the road."

Raven nods, "Lead the way." She pulls off her hoodie, retrieving her baton. "I'm starving."

Eun Gi chuckles. "We'll eat before we head to the train station."

Reality comes crashing down like a shower of glass. "What?"

Eun Gi starts walking into the wild greenery, shedding her uniform one piece at a time with each step and stuffing it into her duffle bag. Raven double steps to catchup, ripping off her face mask so violently she scratched herself. **"We need to get out of the States. I can get us immunity in Shanghai, and a place we can stay."**

Oh Jesus, this was going to be awkward and messy. They should have discussed in the car beforehand.

"… Eun Gi, I have to go back to New York."

" **What?"** She spinned on her heels, gawking at Raven. **"** **You can't be serious."**

"I promised," Raven stated. "I can't just leave."

Eun Gi can't absorb this new development. **"If you go back they're going to know what you did. You aren't safe there Raven!"** She shouts. **"Twenty of Rogelio's hired men got into this country to kill you. I can protect you."** She goes up to her grasping her shoulders. **"** **We can leave and run away like we always wanted to."**

Their dream haunted Raven ever since she first heard those bunker doors close. Their little cottage, or city apartment, vanishing. They never could decide if they wanted to live in the city or the country, but they equally detested suburbs. It was something they knew they could settle once the time came around. All that mattered was being together and not caring what happened outside of their universe. It was gone the second Shield plucked her from the ruins of that Russian Hydra base. Raven was no longer an anonymous cog in the machine. Her name was out there, Shield knew about her. There would be no place to run. If she even tried, she'd bet her last cent that Steve Rogers would personally hunt her down for whatever reason struck his fancy.

" **I can't,"** she tells her in Korean. **"** **I have to go back."**

Eun Gi angrily pushes herself away from Raven. **"So you're going back?** **And leaving me?"**

"What?" Raven flaps her arms protesting. "No no no! I don't want to leave you," she yells. Despite the fact she knows completely and irrevocably she cannot make Eun Gi stay either. If she wants to go, she can because it's fair and the right thing to do. "I would never…"

Eun Gi throws her hands up. "Then why the hell do you want to go back?" She flings her hand toward the hypothetical direction of New York. "Are the Avengers you're friends now?"

"No…" She answered honestly. "Captain America probably wishes I wasn't Iron Man's daughter so he can get what he wants out of me."

"And you want to go back?" She scoffed.

"I promised Pepper… Tony's girlfriend. Fatty was going to blow up her car with her in it, and it's all because of me, so -"

"You barely know that woman, and you were ready to get killed for her." Eun Gi groaned, "You always do this! Just because someone is nice to you doesn't mean you owe them Raven! Just because someone acts good, doesn't mean they are a nice person! You of all people know that."

"I know," Raven muttered. "But you don't understand…"

"Oh I understand!" She bellows. "You've found your biological father, and you're getting attached to people you shouldn't get attached to! And you know that once those people find out what you know, what you've done, that's all they care about! You say it all the time."

"Tony cares about me," Raven feebly declares. "Pepper too. I'm going back for them, just them."

Eun Gi doesn't doubt that, she worried about something else. "Those two are not all the Avengers, or in charge. They answer to their corrupt government like everyone else." She lowers her volume. "So what are you going to do?"

Raven swipes some blood from her nose. "I have to go back… I can't run anymore. You… can do what you want."

Eun Gi takes offense to her resigned tone. "I do what I want? So what does that mean? I just leave you here and go back to Shanghai, is that what you want?"

"I'm not going to ask you to come with me if you don't want!" Raven roars. "I will never force you to do anything that you don't want to do yourself. If you think I'm stupid for going back and don't want no part of it..." She sniffled, "Then… do what you want." She couldn't say, go, even when she meant it in the best way. She couldn't say it, because she didn't want Eun Gi to leave. Never in a million years.

Her oncoming tears are more honest that her stupid self-sacrificing attitude. Eun Gi sighs, "You're such a pain in the ass." She reaches for her hand and pulls her, "C'mon, we're going to go get something to eat and then go to my motel room. Then we go back to New York."

"Wait." Raven digs her heels in the ground. "Do you mean it? Because if you do… you can't disappear anymore. I don't want you to do anything that -"

Eun Gi shushes her with a palm across her mouth. "We are going to New York because you want to go back. We are doing this because you want to. I am doing this because I love you and I don't want to be apart from you for another day." She pulls her hand away and squeezes Raven's hand. "Okay?" She smiled encouragingly.

Raven's response was a long, sloppy, sniffle.

" _Aish!_ What's with your face?" Eun Gi teased.

"New pills," she squawked. "They're making me more human like."

Eun Gi doesn't comment in it, but ruffles her hair. "Being an assassin is no fun without you to come home to. Besides, I never wanted to be an ahjumma assassin anyways. Only you make scars look good." She winked at her.

"Shut up," Raven wetly snorted. "… Thanks. I'm sorry about this."

Eun Gi shook her head. "What are you apologizing for? You still want to be with me, right?"

"Yeah…" That was a no-brainer, Raven has spent these past few months pathetically pining for Eun Gi.

"Then we stick together, like we promised each other. No matter what."

"No matter what." Raven grabbed her hand, holding it tight.

* * *

This was not a part of the plan. They were supposed to be riding off into the sunset together, leaving everyone behind. She came all this way to get Raven, kill Rogelio's men, and leave. Two out of three wasn't so bad, but it wasn't what she wanted. Although she was very happy with retiring from being a professional killer, hanging out with the Avengers wasn't her idea of a fulfilling retirement. Especially when hearing a certain captain was picking on _her_ Raven. At Hydra there were people like that too, like her mother, who suspected Raven of being nothing but bad luck. Who was no doubt drinking the strongest soju she had, when she heard her beloved daughter had run off to save her precious Raven. She was going to be furious when she found out all the trouble she caused; killing twenty people, stealing resources and one of her credit cards, all while exposing their family for examination.

Not that she cared.

"The bathroom's free," Raven announced, coming out of the steaming bathroom. She sees Eun Gi lying across the bed, stuffing her face with some unknown chocolate snack she bought at a gas station. "What is it?"

" **Nothing,"** she hummed. "I was thinking. Why didn't you call me when you got out of Hydra?"

Raven lies down beside her. "I did," she said cautiously. "You never read my message." Raven gestures to her phone on the single nightstand. "See for yourself, I thought you were mad at me or something."

Her stomach drops at the short text that Raven indeed sent. The date was two months ago. She thought Raven was dead for five months. Somewhere in those first three months, Raven was reaching out to her. When she had been texting her unresponsive messenger, hoping in vain that somehow Raven would reply back. After she blocked her number, trying to stop herself from falling dangerously deep in her delusion. Only to see Raven on the internet weeks later.

" **I blocked your number, I couldn't stop texting you."** She explains hollowly. **"Did you text anyone else?"**

"Felix and Kyung Gi," Raven murmured. "I guess they did the same. I figured you guys heard about Shield scraping me off the ground, and wanted to make some distance… But it wasn't that was it?" She muttered sadly.

Eun Gi shook her head cradling the phone to her chest as though apologizing to the ignored message. This was such a mess. Almost an hour ago she was accusing Raven of choosing Iron Man over her, when in fact she was adapting to the difficult choice she made. What Raven always did when she lost a piece of her armor, she forged a new one and mastered its dynamics. Iron Man wanted to protect Raven, whether out of affection or his own personal guilt. She'd be a fool to spit on his kindness when it could serve her well. God, she must have sounded like such a bitch.

"Sorry… About earlier… Yelling at you… I didn't know…"

"C'mon, don't cry. You have plenty of good reasons to yell at me." Raven reassured her with that sweet smile of hers.

There was a lot of risk in what Raven did, killing while under the protection of a law abiding citizen. She could argue that it was them who couldn't protect their own. What was she talking about? Of course Raven will say that. She will read them their sins and make them eat their bullet like the force of nature Eun Gi knew her as.

"They'll ask you to snitch on everyone," Eun Gi randomly warned.

"And I won't," Raven said definitely. "You and the lads covered me arse and had my back. I don't forget kindness, or loyalty. I owe them that." She pops her knuckles. "The only one who doesn't get a pass is Janos."

"You're going to sell out Janos?" Eun Gi wondered incredulously.

"No. I'm going to kill him – or at least make him want me too." She sits on the bed, sighing at the baggage she let off her back. "He was going to let those bastards kill me and turn me into Hydra's Siri. Let everyone think I was - dead, put you through that, and had the gall to talk his shit about being a dad. You know, he was in New York? I ran into him a while after I texted you. I didn't remember then what he did to me, what he had planned. And he acted all remorseful, holding me like I ripped away from him when he was an active participant to it all. That bastard let them put my brain in a blender and then wanted to make it my fault?" Her voice rose. "Tell me to choose how I wanna die? Because I made it that way? Well," she hissed, "he better pray we don't cross paths anytime soon."

Eun Gi decided it was not the time to tell Raven that she had initially searched for Janos first, for that same reason. She was going to gut the bastard, and take Rogelio's head off. The second she figured out they were lied to, there was no stopping her. She was going to kill them for hurting Raven, keeping her from saving her. It didn't matter if anyone hated her for her rash actions, Janos and Rogelio would be dead.

Instead she slides up to Raven nuzzling her cheek. It's strange to suddenly be able to touch after months of being deprived of each other. Her body is different; she's gained some weight, her face is brighter, eyes rested and wide, and her hair is the shortest its been. Yet she's still Raven, same scars and freckles, wearing her charm necklace with the jigsaw pendant they share. No matter what's going on around them, she'll always be Raven, her Bird Brain. Her arms coil around Raven's waist pulling her close.

Raven sighs blissfully as they cuddle. "Did I tell you how much I missed you?"

"You can start," Eun Gi teases.

"I missed you so much it hurt." She tugged bashfully at her ponytail, wrapping hair around her finger. "I missed you so much I told Tony about you."

"What did you tell him?"

"That you're way more cooler than me. How we go skateboarding… That you're my very complicated girlfriend."

Eun Gi sat up, gazing down at Raven. "You told someone… that was your girlfriend?" She had never done that before. They were always close since they were kids, no one questioned that closeness. Her brother knew the truth from the beginning when her little crush grew. Told their mother who gave her a lecture about "appropriate targets of affection". She went as far as suggesting to Janos to find Raven some other friends, to encourage some distance. But Raven always came back to her, the bred soldier who had a fraction of her intelligence. No one would approve of the future head of Hydra caring about child soldier, battle fodder as Janos called her. They wanted her to like someone with power and position, someone matching her intellect. To have Raven openly say, this is my girlfriend, declare her affection was the most touching thing in the world.

"Did you tell him about…"

"Yeah, I told Tony about you almost becoming the Winter Soldier. But only he knows that we're together." She laughs, "I was actually worried I got ahead of myself, telling him."

Her answer was a smooth kiss. "You know what this means?"

"What?" Giggled Raven.

"I can openly call you _jagiya_ ," she whispered like they were planning a murder.

"But then I can't use your name anymore," Raven pouted. "Nor will you say my name."

Eun Gi mused over this gravely. She did like hearing Raven's Irish accent fumble with her name. It was incredibly cute and endearing how she did her best to pronounce it as accurately as she could. But the whole thing about being in a couple was calling each other by their respected titles.

"We can switch it up," she suggested.

"That can work," Raven agreed. "But you still wanna do those anniversary dates?"

Eun Gi nodded severely. "And we have to get girlfriend rings."

"Deal. And I'm going to call you, _jjing-jjingi_."

Eun Gi feigned offense. "I do not whine that much. You whine much more than I do!"

"Only when you're causing trouble," Raven points out. "And you do so whine a lot! And technically I beg, not whine."

The girls laid there on the bed arguing while eating their snacks, barely noticing the time. Or the fact they had a three hour drive ahead of them to Manhattan. They had so much time to catch up on. Wounds of the heart to mend, things to settle and Avengers not to think about.

* * *

 **Yay, another long chapter! Okay some things to note with the intro to Eun Gi, whenever you see bold font they're speaking Korean, italic are Korean phrases I'll explain in the comments or in the story itself. So for anymore who doesn't understand much of Korean couple culture, they typically don't address each other by their given names when in a relationship, they use titles. Jagiya means girlfriend and j** **jing-jjingi means whiny girlfriend. This is a thing I swear. I did do research, but I won't lie any italic words are more than likely going to be stuff you would hear in K-dramas.**

 **Okay, someone sent me a message about Raven and her clothing style, here's the answer; yes, Raven loves comfy, oversized clothes, she does love band t-shirts. This is because she has serious body issues and hides behind huge clothes, although she doesn't mind wearing shorts in doors. Plus she is notorious for stealing clothes because as you know she moves around a lot so she travels light. You'll get more info on that though.**

 **And yes guys, you can ask me questions about Raven or anything else. PM me, or find me on my tumblr _ .com _ Don't be shy!**

 **Anotherscribe**


	23. Chapter 23

_**Chapter 23**_

For the first time in years Tony wakes up before Pepper. He barely slept yesterday between realizing Raven put her life on the line for Pepper, Steve's not-so-secret theories and his own imagination. Is this what Pepper went through during his missions, powerlessly waiting on the verge of skidding off course? If Raven comes home he was so going to fix his after-mission routine. The dreaded "IF" makes him pause when he sits up. No. No ifs, she's coming back. He can't lose any more family. Raven was his daughter more in name than feeling, but he was starting to bond with her. Saw his mother in her eyes, and now she was gone. Just like his parents. The thought makes his throat burn for a drink.

He shouldn't be drinking so early. Pepper was trying to curb his habits the best she could; one of her rules was no drinking in the morning regardless if the sun were up or not. Surely there was a footnote in the case of missing children. Thinking about Raven, her big brown eyes – his mother's eyes, pushes him to his feet. He creeps to the door, opening it slowly. If Raven doesn't come back Pepper is going to be heartbroken, devastated. And here he was, on a bender. He couldn't do anything right…

Howard Stark's voice bounced around his head like a ping pong ball, echoing, _So my granddaughter is the Stark I wanted. Even off her rocker, she's leagues ahead of you. Some legacy you turned out to be._ _The only iron in you, is that stupid suit of yours. She goes and handles her business with her bare hands. Heh, she's more of a man than you._

That was the bender talking, but he couldn't shake it off. Raven is a force of nature. She would have gone head to head with his father, and _w_ _o_ _n._ He could see them face to face, Howard and Raven. Howard, towering and larger than life. Raven, scowling and wilder than a hurricane. She would have made the better Stark, the better Avenger. Pepper wouldn't have been kidnapped if Raven was at the helm. An awkward thought but it's true. Raven goes into the shadows delivering justice fists first. She doesn't waste time with speeches and declarations, she goes in and levels ground. Maybe that's why Steve's so touchy about her, he sees it too. Tony sips his scotch as he tries to imagine Raven in his shoes; staring at Barnes, killer of Maria and Howard Stark, reading through the Sokovia Accords. He can't complete the image because Raven would have done so many things differently. The entire course of history needed to be altered for Tony to even start daydreaming about Raven as the Stark Heir, in a world without him.

It's half way through his drink when he notices the bottle of his best vodka is missing. As far as he knows that's not Pepper's drink of choice. He raises his brow finishing his drink and goes behind the bar. Did he move it? But vodka isn't his binge drink of choice either. At parties, depending on the cocktail maybe, but he rarely touches it alone. He checks all the bottles in every shelf, the cupboards and the mini-fridges. The prize-winning vodka is not there. Buzz perturbed, he pours himself another drink and starts walking around the house, wondering where the hell he misplaced it. If he could find this vodka, perhaps there was some hope for him yet.

He's searched every damn part of his penthouse, where a bottle of vodka shouldn't be, save for Raven's bedroom. Could he invade her privacy again? He already let Steve in there, might as well bury himself properly. With a tired sigh he opens the door and chokes on his breath. Raven is in her room. It's dark in the house but her lithe silhouette is unmistakeable, Raven is in her bed fast asleep.

Oh god, I'm wasted. He thinks as he puts the scotch down by the nearest table he finds. I'm hallucinating. He rubs his face and slaps his cheeks. It's definitely Raven, laying face up like a corpse, breathing loudly, fingers occasionally twitching. Her hair's a mess from previous tossing and turning, giving a preview of how she'll look when she wakes up.

"Raven-?" He opens his mouth to wake her up, because oh boy does she have a lot of explaining to do. Which promptly gets him a gun nestled at his temple. He doesn't know why he puts his hands up, parallel to his chest. It feels like the smart thing to do.

Before the gunman speaks, the first thing Tony smells is his vodka. He turns his head ever so slightly to see who not only stole his vodka, but was creeping around in his daughter's room. The latter had more context to it, so he was starting off with the easy part.

How wrong he was.

"Good morning," the chipper girl greets in a clear Korean accent. Which might have sounded cute if not for the gun barrel pressing against his head. He doesn't know how he just _knows_ this is Raven's girlfriend. The jigsaw pendant around her neck was barely visible.

Her name evades Tony, who isn't too proud to sound pleading. "Please tell me you're Raven's super complicated girlfriend."

She keeps the gun at his head. "I am. And you are Tony Stark."

"Nice to meet you. Do you mind putting that down?"

She doesn't. "I always wondered what you look like up close." With a fluid motion she grabs him by his shirt and pushes him against the window. Somewhere in the middle of his back pedaling he trips over a bag and his back hits the glass with a muted thump. "You look older without your fancy suit." The gun is put away once understood he isn't fighting back. She studies his face intently in the dim city lights outside of Raven's window.

She doesn't look like she can kill me, is the first thing Tony thinks. Natasha looked like she could kill someone, Raven's girlfriend looks like the typical subject for romantic oil paintings built like an athlete. Her hair hangs in a loose braid over her shoulder, a few loose strands falling at the sides of her face. Her eyes are bottomless and black, to the point Tony genuinely doubts she has iris'. They're wide and hooded, full of malicious curiosity.

"You don't look like an assassin," he quipped. "And you stole my vodka."

Her hand pushes along his chest sliding to his throat. "You don't look much like Raven," she retorted. She glances back to said girl who's still blissfully asleep. "I heard one of your friends is giving Raven a hard time… Captain America?" She squeezes slightly.

"Oh god," he muttered to himself. Did complicated mean, in Raven Speech, that her girlfriend was ready to beat up Steve for just looking at Raven the wrong way? "Look," he whispered. He doesn't want to wake anyone in his current state, it'd be more than bad for morale. "I'm on Raven's side, okay? I get that Raven means well. I get it."

She hushed his rambling. "If you or the Avengers hurt her, I will burn this building to the ground." She warned him, "I have seen Raven hurt too many times." She adds more pressure to his throat, making him swallow a gag. "And I don't care if you are her father. If you hurt her, or let someone hurt her," she hissed, "I will destroy you. Is that clear?"

"Crystal," he wheezed.

She lets him up. "Good. Now go back to bed, _Ajusshi."_

He staggers to door, in no condition to challenge this Cerberus. Sparing on last glance to Raven he asks, "Is she okay? I mean, she's not too hurt is she?"

Eun Gi's face softens in the moonlight, showing her age all too well. "She's strong, but she needs to lie down." In a second she becomes aggressive again, but in a childish way. "So don't come in here to wake her up, got it?"

"She going to wake up to a mad house." It's only fair to give her a warning too. Too bad it has the opposite effect. She smiles at him, eager for the fiasco.

"I always wanted to see all the Avengers up close."

When Tony leaves Raven's room, he goes back to the scotch he abandoned. Throws it back and goes back to bed. As he lies down staring up at the ceiling, it dawns on him that he's going to get to know Raven a whole lot better than he expected. All while Steve glares at him, saying I told you so. He groans into his pillow and here he thought Raven was going to be a quiet little thing. He knew Raven was a good kid under it all though. She only went out to protect Pepper. She was an angry little girl, which she had every right to be. What she wasn't was some criminal mastermind, he hoped.

* * *

Eun Gi wakes up curled up next to Raven, who's breathing loudly and peacefully. Tiredly she combs her fingers through her short hair, massaging her scalp. Raven moans softly in her sleep and Eun Gi plants a kiss on her cheek. Typically it was Raven who woke up first, putting on coffee or tea, flipping pancakes or crepes in the kitchen. It was the only thing she missed about Janos; his fully stocked kitchen. The man was a huge foodie, with every cooking device you could think of. When they had the house to themselves they would make elaborate dishes with ingredients from around the world. Eun Gi doubted the Avengers ate anything but dull American food.

Speaking of them, she could hear some rather loud bickering from outside of Raven's room. Oh right, Raven put their stupid computer system back online before they went to bed. Not to mention Iron Man probably confirmed Raven's return. How long did he keep them from coming in and flipping Raven out her bed? God knows it happened a few times in Hydra, the sun was on the edge of the horizon and someone comes in to wake up Raven who just went to bed. She could keep them busy until Raven woke up on her own, she needed the rest.

She mentioned what an asshole Captain America was, how he was trying to turn the other Avengers onto his side. From what she gathered from the last time the Avengers had an internal argument, plenty of them might listen to Iron Man out of guilt. Namely the lab rats Raven should have left to die. Eun Gi had to keep her eyes on them, they were inside Hydra and had the power to help or hang Raven. It was obvious who's side they chose, Eun Gi saw how close the girl was to the Captain. The brother would follow his sister without question. Raven was too nice to say anything, she liked to give people chances to redeem themselves before she fought back. In Eun Gi's opinion they had plenty of chances.

When she came out of Raven's room dressed in shorts and one of Raven's shirts, they all turned. The attention threatened to split her face with a smile. She knew she was beautiful, people always stared at her. So when the Avengers gawked at her with frustration and confounded glares, it was nothing new. Head held high she walked down stairs well aware of how _short_ her pants were and less then respectful her appearance. Coming out of Raven's room, in clothes they could argue weren't hers. In the back of her head she could imagine her brother and mother glaring at her with fiery judgement. Iron Man looked like he was choking on his own lungs.

"Good morning," she greeted sweetly.

"This the girl?" Captain America points at her while addressing Iron Man. "Raven's friend?"

Oh, he didn't tell them? What a gentleman. Eun Gi blinks like she doesn't understand his displeasure. He carries himself with the intent to lead, back straight and solemn stares. Her father was like that. To insult the Captain would be like spitting at her father. She was absolutely ready for it. Raven would call it something long-winded like, posthumous closure.

Iron Man clears his throat. "Yeah, this is…" Does he even know how to say her name?

"Shin Eun Gi," she introduces herself. Without a bow or handshake, not that either would register to them as a subtle jab of disrespect. This is when she notices the Winter Soldier. He looks very different, with half a brain. She can't be too mean to him or Raven will be upset with her. Out of everyone else here she can't pick on; Iron Man, his woman, and the Winter Soldier. That won't slow her down at all.

"You're just a kid," he muttered distantly.

"As to what?" She snapped. Such a pretty boy and such an idiot, what a pity.

He blinked at her harsh tone. "I didn't mean…" And he fades off. He's still as brain dead as before.

"Whatever." She rolls her eyes, this would way more fun if they knew she and Raven were together. More yelling, swearing and possibly a fight. The Avengers are way more boring off duty than she imagined. She makes her way toward the kitchen when one of the Captain's sympathizers stops her. She gapes at his dark brown hand wondering if he knew she could break it in ten seconds.

"Excuse me," he said, "but where's your partner in crime?"

"Sleeping," she stated.

He rolls his shoulders, a faint smile in his eyes. "We should probably wake her up, shouldn't we?"

Eun Gi acts automatically, as she was trained. Twisting her wrist she switches momentum, grabbing his arm with skill and nails. Pulls him toward her, knees him hard in the ribs, throwing him into the ground while he coughs.

"I said, she is sleeping." She stands over him, with a look of pure ill-intent. She wants him to get up just for the excuse to fight.

And like she anticipated, someone is ready to test her. Although it isn't whom she wanted. The big brother lab rat, tries to come for her. Which is a huge mistake because Raven told her everything about his powers, including Hydra's plans on containing him. Yes, he's fast, but he's quite stupid – tactically, anyways. He runs up to her, a silver blur and grabs her right hand. Inexperienced fighters always go for the assumed dominant hand, they don't know better and act on instinct. Too bad she has a taser in her pants, held close by the elastic of her panties. Good guys never check those _intimate_ places. So when he thinks he's Mr. Big Man, she pulls it out, head butts him, throwing it at his ankles. His most vulnerable point.

He won't lose consciousness, but his legs buckle and he pisses himself. The best thing to damage is a man's pride. By now the room is a collection of gasps, and the indecisions of whether to attack her or not. Their code of honor keeps them from outright having a free-for-all, but she's clearly dangerous. It makes it all the more fun.

Tony doesn't know what freaks him out more. The sudden switch in Eun Gi, that she's dropped two Avengers in less than half a minute, her childish giggle, or the fact that this is Raven's girlfriend. Who made her smile and blush like she was suffering from intense puppy love. It's a train wreck that's skidding off the tracks and all he can do is watch. He told them she was a trained killer, there was no other way to warn them. They had been around Natasha too long, who carried herself with a certain aura you respected and feared. Eun Gi is a doll with a trigger.

No one wants to go for her because she's a kid and Raven's friend. No one knows if she's toying with them or serious. Where the hell are you Raven? He thinks staring up at her room. Maybe if he could sneak up there and poke the bear, she could show off some of her famed leadership skills.

He gets no further than two steps before the situation spirals into a wild fire. Steve attempts to advance on her. She was waiting for it and goes all the way. Slinking like a cat, she skitters around him grabbing him by the wrist, twisting it behind his back, and out of nowhere pressing a scalpel to his throat. Her smile is the most frightening thing about her. Unabashed delight at having someone's life in her hand.

"Woah, woah, woah," he yelled over the chaos. "Put it down." He makes a hollow attempt at being an adult and a parent.

Eun Gi hasn't heard him at all, nor has anyone really. Bucky is torn whether to come to Steve's aid or let him handle it. "Raven told me about you," she cooed in Steve's ear. "That you are a super human. Does that mean your throat is thicker to slice?"

Steve doesn't hit kids – actual kids, but everyone can see he's really contemplating his stance.

"Wait!" Tony shouted, hands outstretched to get her attention. "You can't." He haphazardly looks to Bucky and he has an idea. "He's his best friend." Gesturing to him, Tony explained, "So if you cut his throat, you'll make him upset, which will be trouble for Raven. So, it's a no go."

Everyone is gawking at him like this is his worst diversion ever. But Eun Gi genuinely looks at Steve, translating his nonsensical words and the realization dawns on her. Everyone in this room is connected, so they are collectively untouchable to her sadistic little games. Her reaction is unfathomable. With no regard of his safety she throws her arms from around Steve's neck. The motion was so swift and harsh Steve holds his neck like he was cut, all that's there is a fading, swollen red line.

Eyes on Tony she seethed, "Are you serious?" Her voice has lost all its venom, reverting to a valley girl-esque twang. Mimicking the mannerisms typical in American tv shows. Which is more frightening considering how callously she lashed out and that she's still holding the scalpel in her hand.

"Yeah," he said slowly. "So can you…"

Eun Gi straight up pouts, whining and stamping her foot like she was grounded at the last minute for something on her report slip. Huffing with non-existent tears she shrieks, "Then what am I supposed to do? I'm so bored!"

Distantly he hears Rhodey moan, "Oh my god…"

"Wait," Sam coughed. "This was all because you were bored?"

"Oh my god!" She shrieks. "What did you think? If I wanted to kill any of you people I would come into your room and cut your throats, before I face you openly. Amateurs," she scoffed scornfully.

Tony feels safe enough to turn his head around to access how stable the room is; and he's in deep shit to say the least. If everyone was on edge about Raven and her occasional slips of stability, Eun Gi is a loaded gun without a safety switch and endless rounds. And he hasn't even told them she was Raven's girlfriend. He isn't in a position to judge anyone on relationships, but he needs to sit down and some sort of talk with Raven. If he can figure out how to politely say, you're girlfriend is crazy and homicidal, how are you handling that? He and Pepper nearly broke up due to his Avenging work, and that was Doing Good. Raven was sixteen for god's sake!

"So is this what you do?" Steve questioned. "Kill people because your bored?" He's furious at one, being caught off guard and two, her flippant attitude. Eun Gi rolls her eyes, utterly unimpressed with him. Her insolence is really getting to him. "Since you're so bored, you can entertain yourself by answering some questions."

This what he envisioned when taking in a troubled teenager, sass and those nerve grating dismissals. Steve's even more unprepared for it than he was with Raven, who can appear weak one second but shows evidence of being a hardcore survivor. Someone really should have given Steve a crash course of twenty-first century teenagers.

"Where were you and Raven yesterday?"

She cocks an eyebrow, aggravated by his very sound of his voice. "Isn't that obvious?"

"If it was I wouldn't be asking."

Eun Gi giggles, her smile full of poisonous secrets. "You are such a idiot."

Steve's jaw pulses. "You think you can keep up this game? You think you two can just come in here and do what you want?"

"You think you can keep up with Raven?" She mocks his pace of questioning. "You think you can just chase her tail and find clues?" Her lighthearted teasing turns to biting cackles.

What does Raven see in her? Tony is more absorbed in that than Steve's feeble attempt at trying to trip a response out of Eun Gi. He assumes that with being listened to and let in on their little secret, that whatever secret circle Raven has, he's in. If he probably asked nicely, without Steve in the room, he believed he could get a straight answer out of them. Like what was going on in this so-called relationship. Eun Gi was two years older than Raven, and an assassin. Raven was an abused child, still protecting her abuser. The last thing he wanted to do was scare Pepper with yet another problem they had to fix. Even though it was the least of their worries.

"Why don't you ask your little friends?" Eun Gi frivolously wiggled her fingers at Pietro and Wanda. "The Lab Rats?"

And just like that, the room swings toward a mutiny. Wanda is more indignant than Pietro who is steadily coming to his feet, with help from Clint. Maybe she was getting glimpses of her thoughts and was just waiting for a chance to jump in. "What did you say?" She seethed stepping forward.

"Oh oh oh," Eun Gi hooted fiendishly. "The lab rat speaks."

Vision tries in vain to calm her. "Wanda, there's no need for violence."

"There is always need for violence," Eun Gi declared. Turning back to Wanda she eggs her on. "She's too weak to hit anyone and mean it. You had an opportunity to kill Tony Stark. You became a lab rat to kill him. However, when you had your chance you pussied out." She winces dramatically at Wanda's folly. "Did you not love your parents enough, or did you realize what a brat you were being?"

"Hey!" Steve yelled. "That's enough!"

"Sorry." She feigned shock. "I forgot, you only protect people who do not have the name Stark. I completely forgot."

She told her. Tony can barely form a sound, vaguely feels Pepper's hand entwined in his. Of course she told her. Even if Raven couldn't tell her friends about who she was, she'd be wasting an opportunity if she didn't do her own research on him. That means Raven saw the tape, saw Barnes killing his parents. Did Hydra show it to her on purpose, to scare her into obedience or did she find it on her own? What other horrible things did Raven see?

"Watch it," Steve warns.

Eun Gi licks up his threat like nectar. "So sorry, you can forgive a man for taking innocent lives. Two idiot lab rats who make poor decisions, but you can't leave a little girl alone. I get confused with what people think you are, and who you really are."

"And what am I?" Steve growls nose to nose with her.

"You are no better than Hydra," she states for the room to hear. "You don't care about Raven, you care about what she can give you. What you can take. You," she hissed, "have no idea whether she's hurt or wounded. If she has broken bones, a concussion, or if her heart is hurting. It's all about you, what you want. I bet," she accused, "when she went off to do your job, you never once thought about her safety. Only her secrets."

Her fury switches to Wanda and Pietro. "And you two. Raven saved you from your stupid decisions, and this is how you repay her? You're on his side?" She points a finger at Steve. "She took a risk saving you, instead of letting you two die, like I told her to."

Tony finds his voice. "Wait, you told her to let them die?"

"I knew they weren't going to kill you. Raven guessed it too." She was so disgusted with their half-hearted murder plot. "If Raven didn't kill the man who murdered her mother, who she saw killing her mother. I highly doubted they were going to kill you because your last name was on a bomb. That's like wanting to kill Samuel Colt because a revolver killed your family. Thankless brats," she snorts disdainfully.

"Raven doesn't think that," is all Wanda can say.

"She should! You two left her in Hydra!" Eun Gi shouted. "You two got your happily ever after and you forgot the girl who kept you alive. Taught you how to use your powers. But I bet you had plenty to say when Captain Asshole asked!" Her volume is thunderous and venomous. "Made her sound like a mad little bitch. You had no idea what she was going through. And you expect her to trust you, any of you?" She barked with laughter. "Better monsters have tried harder than you heartless idiots."

"Then why come back if we're such heartless idiots?" Rhodey genuinely pondered.

Eun Gi points easily toward him and Pepper. She addresses them with tired reluctance. "Raven really likes those two. She was convinced that she had to come back."

"You sound disappointed," Pepper flatly remarked.

She shrugged, "Not counting you two, everyone in this room wants something from Raven other than for her to rest. And I don't trust him." She dismissed Bucky with a flick of her fingers. "I don't care what Raven says, he's on his side."

"I'm not…" Bucky begins to say.

"What?" Eun Gi pulls her ear toward him. "Were you going to say Captain Dickhead is an asshole?" He doesn't bite and she retracts. "Then please shut up before you embarrass yourself."

Tony blows loudly through his lips. This was going to be a long day.

* * *

 **Ahjusshi - Mister**

 **Hello my lovelies, guess who actually managed to update in a timely fashion? I'll do my best not to let updates spread out longer than three weeks.**

 **Anyways do the usual, don't be afraid to tell me what you like and what you don't, things you wanna see more/less of and things I can improve on. This is my first time writing an established romance between teenaged OCs and any tips will be appreciated.**

 **As always, Anotherscribe**


	24. Chapter 24

_**Chapter 24**_

Raven was dreaming, she wasn't sure if it was a dream or a nightmare. She was in a cell, barefoot and walking around freely. This wasn't a Hydra cell, or the solidarity ones Shield had for their unusually dangerous criminals. There are bars she can wrap her fingers around, a cot, toilet; a standard prison cell for a high security building. Light can be seen from down the hall, she hears murmurings from people she cannot see. It's euphoric compared to the places she's been held. How did I get here? She wonders examining her surroundings. The walls are concrete, chilly but not clammy. She runs her fingers around the gravelly surface, the gesture feels familiar and ritual.

"Enjoying your new quarters, inmate?"

"Wha?"

On the other side of the side is Steve, dressed in full Captain America gear minus his mask and shield, surveying her with acidic contempt; an expression so foreign she doubts it's really him for a moment.. Sizing her up like an animal he shot and skinned. Raven back pedals toward her cot, this action feels routine too.

"Answer me, inmate," he ordered. "How do you find your quarters?"

"My quarters?" She echoes.

He smirks at her discomfort. "You didn't actually think you could run forever? That your last name would keep you alive?" He triumphantly declares, "I never stop until I have my man… In your case, my monster."

"I'm no monster." Her fists clench the sheets. Every fibre of her body wanted to scream and yet all her nerves were on iron leashes.

"Oh?" He laughs. "Still clinging to that defense? You're dedicated, I'll give you that. Although psychotics are known to start believing their delusions."

"I'm not delusional."

"Really?" His face cracks with a devilishly gleeful smile. "You have committed countless murders. Destroyed endless lives. And you're a danger to everyone around you."

"Bullshit," she spits. "I'm the victim here!"

"Let's go through the list shall we?" Out of nowhere he pulls out a scroll. From it he reads, "Not only have you voluntarily killed those whom you knew, and trusted you, you have inadvertently damned thousands of people to death. Men, women and children," he added salaciously like he was reading a sleazy gossip magazine.

"I haven't…" She tries to explain.

"List of victims, Vivian Rocher, Irene Moore -!"

"I didn't kill them. I didn't do anything to them!" Then she adds frantically, "It wasn't my fault."

"I know I know, you said it on trial. Over and over," he muttered as he rolled it back up. Wagging it at her he said, "But we both know that isn't true, else you wouldn't be here would you? Poor Vivian Rocher died because she brought you into this world, had her whole life ahead of her. Like poor, stupid Eve who listened to the serpent when she saw the forbidden fruit. Irene Moore died because you wouldn't be a good girl and just disappear. Everyone you come across is touched by death – you. You are a plague of death Raven, always have been. I mean," he chuckles, "your named after the most iconic symbol of misery. How does it go now? Quoth the Raven, nevermore?"

She had no retort for that. He wasn't exactly wrong. She had known this for years, having someone say it was incredibly disarming. And for it to be him, with the list of her victims in his hands.

"It was a good story," he congratulated. He clapped mockingly. "A broken little girl turned into a weapon. But that's not true either." Steve leans sideways on the wall space by her bars, observing her from the corner of his eye. "You were a monster before Hydra found you. That's how you really survived. It wasn't your heart, courage, or stubbornness. You wanted to live to hurt those whom hurt you. All those years of being powerless made you hungry for revenge."

"No, I never wanted…"

"Come on, drop the act! It's just you and me," he turns his head, looking directly at her. His voice bounced between the bars choking her cell with his words. "You said yourself that every man has a good and dark side. You saw mine, show me yours." He offered his hand as though they were on a stage. "I was right about you, admit it. You're no victim, but you play it well. Let your scars hang out, when they're really badges of honor. The lives you took to protect what you call yours, the horrible things you did that didn't feel so horrible at the time."

Raven stared at him. "I did what I had to."

"Not that excuse!" He exclaimed impatiently taking his hand back, reviled. He slams his fists on the bars, damn near rattling the walls. "I want you to admit, your darkest crime. I want you to say why you really are ready to let countless innocent lives die. I want you to cut the bullshit and say the one thing you won't tell anyone, not even yourself."

She mumbled the words before she could deny them. "Janos…"

Steve snapped his fingers. "Bingo, little lady. The father you chose, the man you really belong to. The man you say you want to kill but deep down you couldn't do it. He could kill Tony and Pepper, and you would crawl back to him the second it gets too hard."

"I hate him. I don't care about him at all." Her head shook but her eyes filled with tears. "I hate him."

"Sure you do," he said sarcastically, rolling his eyes. "You chose him. Which is fine because you two deserve each other. An ungrateful, feral daughter, for a sadistic, manipulative father. The devil and his demon. Because we both know, if you really wanted him dead you would have killed him the second you knew he betrayed you. You know the addresses of all his homes, his favorite cities, where he buys his black market gourmet ingredients. Hell you could trace his most recent shopping receipts and find him. But no, you pretended that you had no idea to start. That it was easier to quit… You aren't going to kill him and you love him too much to turn him in. Because it's not he'll kill you, we both know that he's too… well bred to kill family." The whole situation amused this wretched Captain America more than anything. "He could live with you doing it yourself, but he will never hurt you -?"

A sounds startles him. With a resigned sigh he begrudgingly announces. "You have a visitor inmate."

For a hopeful breath she expects to see Tony. Instead, the person who replaces Steve is not other than Janos. In a three piece suit, with a bouquet of carnations in his hand. He lays them by the cell with the same pageantry as putting flowers on a grave. "What have you done to yourself Raven?" He tell hers mournfully. "I told you to stay away from them."

* * *

Raven wakes up gasping, body drenched in sweat. Bed sheets soaked in a bizarre parody of a chalk outline. With a shaky moan she rolls off the bed, hitting the floor with a defeated stump. It's at this moment she realizes she's completely alone in her bedroom. That means – She sighs into her carpet, Eun Gi is downstairs with the Avengers. Just great, as if the day wasn't already doomed to suck. Now her nightmare might actually become a reality. What's worse, Dream Captain America or the one downstairs?

"First," she said aloud to her mind, "shower, change the sheets and then breakup the fight downstairs."

* * *

Tony has never been so relieved to say Raven. She comes out her room, bleary eyed and bruised, taking in the scene before her like a wired bomb. He almost wants to run to kiss her. Eun Gi was cutting through anyone who had anything to say about her or Raven. They were about five remarks away before people started swinging. Especially Wanda who aggravated Eun Gi the most, judging by her special nickname for her. Should he give Raven a recap of what she missed? It was a lot of mud slinging.

"What. The. Actual. -. Eun Gi?" Is all Raven said, as though this happened often.

Eun Gi reacts impressively victimized. "Me? They started it."

"Oh, I'm just sure Pietro's pissed himself because you're pretty."

"Well," she grinned, "I am gorgeous."

The exchange is bizarrely lighthearted compared to the scathing statements Eun Gi dropped on them. Tony, like everyone around him, doesn't know how to take it in. Especially when Raven comes downstairs and sees the scalpel in Eun Gi's hand. Instead of being shocked like a normal person, she's calm and annoyed at best.

"Is that mine?" She points to the tiny instrument. "Eun Gi," she whines, "I use that for sharpening my drawing pencils. That is not for killing people! We have knives for that!" They sound so married it makes Tony strangely uncomfortable.

Eun Gi sheepishly admits guilt. "I was just going to make a little cut." Her eyes dance mischievously over to Steve, almost flirting with him. "Nothing to cry over."

Raven follows her gaze and rolls her eyes. "Eun Gi…"

"He was being a big baby about it." Eun Gi defended herself. "Everybody was. Earth's Mightiest Babies."

Sam is the first to vocalize everyone's thoughts about this casual chat. He's recovered from his tousle and ready to declare go again. "Excuse me, ladies?" He grabs their attention. "As much as I would love to watch you debate about how serious it is to cut someone's throat, there are some things we gotta get out of the way."

Both girls are miffed at his bothered tone; Raven mildly, Eun Gi immensely. They look at each other immediately switching from English to Korean. The girls continue their chatter as if he didn't speak. He's never heard Raven speak Korean before, nor anyone who wasn't Korean speak the language for that matter. Her Irish brogue makes it a language of its own.

"Now that's just rude," Sam grumbled.

In the light everyone can see Raven's bruises. The black eye, the purple bruise on her jaw, even her gait is stiff. He asks her, sincerely. "Hey, you okay?"

His voice breaks whatever wall she was bricking up. Raven looks up at him, the version of her he knew, shy and shrinking. She clears her throat and fusses with her head. "Fine. All things considered."

Pepper's silence also shatters. She runs up to Raven squashing her with a hug. "You are never going to do anything like that again. You hear me?" She steely ordered, with tears in the back of her throat. "Ever again."

"C'mon Pep." Tony relieves Raven of her discomfort. "You're suffocating her." He waits for Pepper to step back, before taking her place. "This is how you do it." He didn't care if it was an awkward moment to be hugging her, Tony was relieved beyond words that Raven came home in one piece.

Raven makes a slightly embarrassed noise but she's not tense either. Does she secretly want to be hugged, but has no clue how to ask? When he was a kid he wished his father was more affectionate, but understood that boys were _supposed_ to be tough. Whenever he thinks about Raven, neglected, abandoned and abused, wanting only to be loved, it breaks his heart. And he hugs her a bit tighter, for her and not himself of course.

"But seriously, this can't be a regular thing." He concurs with Pepper.

Raven gapes unsure of how to react. "It's not something I do regularly… And neither will anyone else."

She hints at it but doesn't say that outright, neither of them are afraid to call her out on it anymore. "You killed them, whoever they were," Pepper stated. Tony can tell by her squared shoulders, she's internally freaking out. She technically killed the Mandarin, when he was going to. They weren't in the position to throw stones, but Raven was a kid.

"Yeah…" Raven says, fidgeting with her arms.

"How many were there?" Tony asks. "In all?"

Raven flounders, she glances to Eun Gi who flatly said, "Twenty-five."

Rhodey recoils at the number. "Twenty-five guys came here to get you? Twenty-five armed killers?" He rubs his head. "Do you even know who it was?"

Raven nods somewhat reluctantly, "Yeah I know it was. Only one person has the balls and the stupidity to come after me like that. But," she assured them, "there's no need to panic."

"Excuse me?" Rhodey continues. "Someone sent a mini army to kill you, and you aren't going to stop them?" He glanced to Tony for help but, he knew by now if you interrupted Raven she would never speak on the subject again.

"He sent a bunch of up-and-comers," Raven tiredly explained. "No one else is going to take the job once word gets out it went tits up. No matter how much he pays them."

"So you're some big fish?" Sam chimes in skeptically. "Some legend of the criminal underworld?"

Raven's patience fizzles out with that remark. The word legend makes her bristle like a feline and all compliance flies out the window. Tony can understand why she's upset, here she was doing a good thing and it wasn't enough. It reminds him of the time of the Sokovia Accords.

Her brogue comes out in full swing and doesn't leave. "I can't with you right now, mate. I haven't even had my coffee yet and you wanna be smart ass."

"Am I?" Sam challenges. "I'm sorry, I never met someone who makes mercenaries turn down a paycheck. I wonder what you did to get that rep."

Raven and Eun Gi tense, the latter rolls her shoulders like she wants to rush him while Raven looks ready to go back to bed. Eun Gi takes a step toward him and Raven holds her arm. Sam sees it and cocks his brow. Everyone by now is guessing about how close the girls are, Tony is wondering on the other subject at hand. What did Raven do? Whatever it was, neither of them wanted to talk about it. Eun Gi was ready to tear out Sam's throat for mentioning it.

"Kids," Clint pipes up. "Let's take a break."

Sam is fed up with all the tiptoeing around Raven. Steve had used up all his strikes to come and verbally back him up, so it's up to him to push the topic. They were all secretly curious, but no one wanted to prod incase they messed up. Sam is ready to gamble.

"No, I don't think we should. I wanna know more about the girl who disabled the entire damn Tower before going out and killing twenty-five people with her killer gal pal."

Raven's only response is a long suffering sigh.

"I mean, the girl snuck weapons past Shield, tracked Hydra weapons and is much more than just a genius!"

Typically Raven might cower, however after the day she had, and a lack of caffeine, she's had it. "Are you done?" Sam waits for her response to his accusations. "What, you want a courtesy wank?"

Never has everyone heard Raven talk to anyone like she ready to fight. Sam reels at her words unsure if it was even okay to respond. She shrugs, beyond caring what everyone thought. Tony knew the trick well. Give the people what they want.

"You lot have the collective detective skills of Nancy Drew and the freaking Hardy Boys. Congratu-effing-lations." And she flips Sam off, going into the kitchen.

He's the only one who glances from the mic drop to Eun Gi. Her face is unreadable and tight. Without a word she goes after Raven fanning the flames by waving mockingly goodbye to them. Steve scowls disapprovingly, worse than when Tony used to goad the old man. But Tony knows she's going in there to do his job, keep whatever internal damage Raven was nursing hidden.

* * *

Raven sits on the floor of the kitchen, breathing as evenly as she can. The secret's out, she was taking the piss with them. Riding the coat tails of their kindness and pity until she was safe from harm. She was going to tell them eventually. Once she gained their trust and friendship, ensuring they won't betray her. Steve Rogers spoiled that plan the second he saw her. He stamped over her delicately laid plans and kicked up her garden bed. Singlehandedly exposing her throat to be cut. Yet, she feels an odd sense of relief at not having to pretend to be something she's not. For years she pretended to be weak, kept her head down and let others berate her for being cowardly. When she was simply waiting for the time to get them in the back.

Steve Rogers wanted that Raven, Hydra's best kept secret, their own little Frankenstein. She was almost ready to let him have her.

" **Are you okay?"** Eun Gi sits beside her. **"You're crankier than usual."**

" **I had a bad dream,"** Raven confessed, as she rests her head on her shoulder. **"About Janos, and Steve Rogers. That I was in a prison cell, in an asylum, and he was the guard. And Janos was my only visitor."**

Eun Gi doesn't say anything at first. God knows she's had worse dreams than that, and seen worse in real life. Her hand finds Raven's, interlacing them. **"It was only a dream,"** she gently consoles her. **"You're awake, in New York city, with me."**

Raven nods, sighing peacefully at the unspoken promise between them. "I know…" She squeezes Eun Gi's hand. "I seriously need the blackest of coffees right about now."

" **If you let me go, I can go get it."**

Grinning, she cuddles closer. "Don't wanna."

It's almost like they're back in Seoul, in the apartment they shared. Nothing mattering when it was just them, against Janos, Hydra, the world, and fate. There was nothing to fear if they were together. No impending doom, no personal tragedies, it didn't matter if it was just them. Eun Gi finds her hair, combing her fingers through it. **"** **Did I tell you how much I love your short hair?"**

"You did not," said Raven as she tilts her head up. "How much do you like it?"

"A lot."

"A lot?"

"Super a lot."

"Super a lot?"

Eun Gi's face reddens as they giggle at their ridiculous chatter. Raven, most of all, because it seems insane to be flirting with the Avengers mere feet away. Avengers who – save for Tony – clearly have no clue they're together. This is reckless and surely going to bite her in the ass later, yet she cranes her head up and steals a kiss. Usually Eun Gi initiates the affection, considering how Raven feels about herself and her body. Being afraid of not doing it right, or making a fool of herself. But after almost dying for the second time in less than half a year, she's done with holding back. What if I died and never got to do this? What if I never made it out of the bunker, and you never knew how much I love you?

Raven's hands go to hold her face as she presses herself closer. Rocking against her lips, cradling her jaw like the most precious and fragile thing in the cosmos. I love you, she says with each subtle breath. I love you. I love you. I love you. Eun Gi wraps her arms around her neck, sliding into her lap, daring to swallow her inside her body.

"Hey – Girls?" Tony's voice interrupts. They topple apart like his presence physically knocked them apart. He follows the noise, shamelessly gaping at the moment he trampled into. "Are you two serious right now?"

"Are you serious?" Eun Gi snapped.

Raven feels a little sorry for her. The first time she gets the balls to make the first move and they're interrupted. They never have much luck, she nearly laughs at this moment.

"Well, I was going to check up on you," he tells Raven, "but clearly I'm interrupting."

Her joy blows out like flimsy candle. Why does everyone freak out when she acts her age? Janos was the same, reeling as though she became the missing link. Everyone gladly accepted the manic genius, the battered child, but not the childish, short-sighted teenager. She bites the inside of her cheek to stop herself from saying Tony was the last person to scold her about her behavior.

"What is it?" She murmured, now slightly embarrassed. Why is her being happy so shocking? Isn't she allowed to be giddy and irresponsible?

"Nothing," he dismissed. "I just wanted to check up on you since you… were a little more punk rock than usual."

Her brogue comes out fierily, as it does when she's upset. "I'm supposed to let people talk about me like that, to me face?" She folds her arms close to her chest. It aches for the taser disks she shocked herself with. Raven was genuinely relieved she woke up this morning, electrocuting yourself wasn't the most scientifically sound way to counteract heart failure. Yelling was asking for trouble, so she prepared to softly tell off anyone who bothered her today.

"Don't pick a fight with me," Tony warned. "You scared me three-quarters into an early grave. You freaking disabled my security system like a light switch, and made Pepper cry. Not to mention you clearly got into a freaking fist fight with Hydra goons!" He tapers his voice when he suspects he might be overheard. "I get that you have a morgue of skeletons in your closet, but you cannot put yourself in danger like that, or scare us like that again." He adds, "In all my years of being an asshole I never made Pepper cry. And trust me when I said she had some good reasons to."

"I feel bad enough on my own, Christ." She didn't want to hear about Pepper crying. "She hates me now, doesn't she?"

"What? No," Tony sighed. "She just hugged you like crazy. But she wants a hell of an apology, and to yell at you a little when everyone's gone." Rubbing his face he says, "Do I even want to know what happened to you?"

"A two hundred plus pound Cuban and his friends?"

Tony palms his face. "In another life you would have had a promising career in comedy. Look, why don't you two get some coffee and go back upstairs until I put out the fire your girlfriend started?" He glares at Eun Gi still unsure how to feel about her. "And get Pietro some adult diapers."

Eun Gi response is to still out her tongue at him.

"Real mature," he grumbles, feeling his age all of a sudden.

* * *

 **Sorry for the delay, I'm still triving for weekly updates.**

 **So the Avengers have officially met Eun Gi, and now comes coping with Raven's secrets and her real self. Are you excited? What do you want to see? What are you looking forward to? Because it may not seem like it but I do look at your reviews and put a note for future chapters. SO don't be shy to ask questions.**

 **As always, say hi on Tumblr and in my PMs. Don't forget to critique me so every chapter will be better than the last.**

 **Anotherscribe.**


	25. Chapter 25

**Chapter 25**

"You never told me you have an art room."

Eun Gi sauntered around Raven's studio touching all the supplies and surfaces, leaving her mark. This was something Raven always talked about. Someday I'll have a room just to draw and paint in. It'll be my own special place to be myself. Yet, the room was oddly neutral, clean without the tell-tale signs of creating. With her back to Raven she scowled. This wouldn't do at all. Iron Man may be taking care of Raven, but he had no clue how. A small part of her was jealous, thinking about the two Starks bonding. Someone other than her, seeing the beautiful, amazing person only she knew. It was selfish to even think about obstructing their interactions. Raven deserved to have the world see the real her, the small parts of pureness that Hydra hadn't ruined. She deserved a father who loved and protected her, the right way. There was no way she going to let anyone spoil that, not even the other Avengers.

"It looks boring," she grumbled.

"What do you mean?" Raven huffs. "Or do you mean too clean?"

Glancing back at her she grins, Raven can't stop figuring out things before letting them play out. A lot of people couldn't deal with that. The way Raven _knows_ how something will turn out. Taking one look at someone and seeing danger. Like she did with her father. With a mixture of intuition and a dash of self-taught psychology.

"I'm just saying," she teased, "that those notebooks have been used, but there are several empty canvases over there."

She pauses at the glimpse of some color in this sterile studio. Skillfully hidden among the canvases there are three with visible artwork on them. One by one Eun Gi pulls them out, arranging them according to how they were stored. The three canvases didn't look like much but once set up, it was clear what Raven painted. Each canvas was filled over the edges framing the stunning midnight view of Manhattan from the Tower's landing pad. When they came in the dead of night, Eun Gi saw it in its grandeur. The blurred, ever moving lights of the big city and the huge buildings that still dwarfed them despite being so high up. Raven's painting consisted of three major scenes, each framed in a canvas. Capturing the entire view of the city from the platform, with each distribution of shadow from various beaming lights, the texture of the sky scrapers and the street below, with microscopic details of cars and scarce people. To accomplish even a fraction of this masterpiece, Raven would have had to sit out on that landing pad, sketching, painting and observing the panorama for hours if not days.

This was clearly something she did out of boredom. Sitting around, focused on one task was something she did often to the point she did it accidentally, neglecting herself. Raven tried shuffling around Eun Gi to get her to put it back, timid about something less than her best being seen in the light of day. She was so hardwired to be perfect not even her lazy projects could look less than stupendous. And even if they were, she found something wrong with them.

Raven's obsessive focus should be a turn off, indicating all the _off_ things about her. But it was that determination that got her this far, saved her when others did not, and protected others. When something had to be done, Raven found way, no matter what. It was Eun Gi's favorite thing about her, and the fact she was so clueless about the simplest things.

"Why haven't you hung this up?" Wondered Eun Gi, feigning nonchalance.

"It's not that great," Raven murmured. "I was just bored and needed to do something… I've been doodling mostly."

"I think it's beautiful," Eun Gi declared indignantly. "And I don't care how ugly you think it is, we are putting it up." It occurs to her, to put up the painting she has to go to Iron Man for tools. Who's still trying to talk some sense into the Avengers. Ugh, another thing she hates about this place. She has no idea where everything is. Raven no doubt did – she hated not knowing where things were. Even her messes were organized.

"I'm surprised you haven't started painting on the walls."

"To be fair I was recovering from being tortured."

Without missing a beat she asked, "Isn't art therapy a thing?"

"It's only good when you're doing it with a licensed therapist." Raven admired her work now that it's in clear view. "It looks different in the day. I guess it's not that awful." She stands beside Eun Gi, pensively observing the walls, already planning a major remodel. Which meant she was going to paint more pieces. Why else care where to put one painting? "Does it really look alright? I can never tell since I mostly see where I messed up."

"It's wonderful." She hugs her waist, pulling her close. Being so close to Raven is indescribably familiar and strange after being apart for so long. The previous Raven felt skinnier, caved into her arms like she was waiting for it all day. This version of her has a defined figure, slender but not skeletal, standing well enough on her own. There was an absence of dark circles under her eyes and the endless yawning. She was rested and eating more, actually relaxing for once. Her nose nuzzles her cheek, making Raven laugh. Same old Raven, which was most important. Raven turns her head rubbing noses, wordlessly teasing her for being so clingy. But Eun Gi knows it doesn't bother Raven at all. One of the things they loved doing – when no one was watching – was to sit and hug.

"Maybe I'll paint something else," she whimsically promised.

"You should," she agreed. She combs some of Raven's hair out her face, her short hair was Eun Gi's favorite thing about New Raven. "You really should." She leans in, their foreheads touch. Which alone is euphoric, but then she tilts her head further to give her a quick kiss. A small part of her wanted Raven to kiss her first. To hold her close and make her fly like she did moments ago.

"Yeah?" Raven breathes on her lips. "Maybe I will."

"Maybe?"

"Maybe you need to convince me." Raven's frightened of her own words. She has a weirdly cute way of flirting, she never means to but almost always is. "Or not," she offered. "I'm easily bought when it comes to you."

"Worst flirt ever," Eun Gi snorted. "You could have been so sexy just then but you chickened out."

"And you stick around anyways."

There's a pause as they inch closer. Eun Gi can't stop the big, idiotic smile spreading across her face. Nor can Raven who's going slightly red, and pretending she can't feel the heat in her cheeks. They're about to kiss when there's a noise behind them. Both girls turn, startled as the Winter Soldier stands in the door way stammering at what he stumbled upon. You would imagine a man who's killed over two dozen people would be less bashful about two girls kissing. Eun Gi was tempted to laugh and give Raven an overdramatic kiss. He was gaping, ready to run but his body froze halfway like he wanted to run and look at the same time. Raven wasn't at all bothered at the interrupted moment, she was also secretly amused at the Soldier's muted panic.

"I-I-I'll just go." He turned and left, power walking from where he came from. Almost running into glass on his way out.

"What do you think he wanted to tell us?" Raven wondered once he was gone. "Ya imagine it was important?"

Eun Gi shrugged.

* * *

Bucky comes back downstairs red in the face like its Brooklyn in the 30s and he's just been caught by his mother doing something wrong. He can't begin to look at anyone as he flies past everyone and goes to sit down. Doing the most Bucky thing ever, folding him arms, leg bouncing nervously. He was supposed to go up to the art room where Raven and Eun Gi went upstairs with their coffee and tell them to come down. Instead he came back empty handed and blushing. Tony sighs because he knows what he likely walked into, and he can only imagine what he was feeling. In his time that was illegal. Someone gave Steve the basics on what's okay now compared to then but did anyone give Bucky the Talk? It doesn't look like it.

"Buck?" Steve's voice jolts him. "What happened in there?"

Bucky splutters, "I didn't see nothing."

What a trooper, Tony mentally mused. He's going to plead the fifth.

"What do you mean, you didn't see nothing?" Steve questions. "What are those girls doing in there?" He turns his head up to the art room and on cue the girls come out of the room appearing utterly blameless.

Bucky declares once more, "I didn't see nothing!"

Steve turns on the girls who coil at his silent accusation, both are more annoyed than threatened. "What is he talking about?"

Tony waits for Raven to scream with her eyes, rescue me. Instead she looks to Eun Gi who signals for her to continue. "Well you see," Raven begins to say. "We were kinda… about to… and Bucky sort of had a culture shock."

Steve doesn't follow, which is priceless because everyone else is digesting the "culture shock" Bucky was denying. Eun Gi bluntly states, "We were about to make out and your buddy ruined the mood." She mutters something in Korean toward Bucky who picks up on the insulting tone with a comically offended fish eyed stare.

Raven elbows her. "It was technically illegal in his era. People thought it was a mental disorder."

"People still think it is," counters Eun Gi. She rolls her eyes. **"Do you remember the talk?"** Raven groans at the topic. **"I'm going to ask you on question,"** Eun Gi mocked. **"Did anything happen that I gotta bust someone's balls for?"**

" **Remember your mom?"** Raven reminiscences. **"Now I understand,"** she gives an impression of her own. **"You two have an affection for one another, but children tend to confuse childish and adult emotions."**

The two laugh at this tired conversation they've had, and it's the weirdest thing today. Raven is laughing, being funny over something. Tony and Pepper share an almost terrified look, because this isn't the Raven they knew. Someone who's chatty and rolling her eyes like every other teenager, with a freaking girlfriend of all things. Pepper waves the imaginary fog from her eyes about ready to swoon at all the bombarding information.

"You have a girlfriend?" This is the first and least troubling of all their problems.

Eun Gi finds this whole situation a hoot. "I am. Don't worry I'm not a complete bitch all the time, I just hate his guts." She gestures to Steve like an inanimate object.

Unlike Raven's silent battles, her eyes betraying her weakness and temper, Eun Gi's openly antagonistic, living for the chance to lash out. Their opposites yet the two girls have a language of their own. Not to mention Raven is an entirely other person around her. She feels safe enough to show her emotions, to make jokes and yak her head off. Where he and Pepper had to pull phrases out of her Eun Gi gets Raven to open up with a smile. How did this even happen in Hydra?

"Oh," is Pepper's shaky reply. "And how long has it been?"

Eun Gi turns to Raven speaking in Korean. Which gets Raven to start counting on her fingers. "Jesus," she remarks, "almost two years if we count the past six months."

"Which we are," Eun Gi decided.

Tony whips his head back, knocked back at what he's heard. Two years is a lifetime for teenagers. He was the best example for steady dating periods, but typically teenagers fell in and out of love by the month. Which meant Raven was fourteen when she got with sixteen year old Eun Gi, who nearly became the next Winter Soldier. Please don't tell me this relationship is some out of hand coping mechanism of grief and trauma. Tony feels his throat burn for a drink. What did her handler think about this? If he's such stickler for proper behavior Tony couldn't imagine him liking Eun Gi, not even faking it. And Tony can't fake keeping it together either.

"Time out!" He shouts over the noise in his head. "You." He curls a finger at Raven. "We need to talk. Now."

"Tony," Pepper exclaimed in soft shock and worry, "what is…"

"You too," he welcomed. "I'm calling a family meeting right now, like now now." He points at Eun Gi next. "Don't kill anybody while we're gone."

Raven looks between them and gapes at Eun Gi. Knowing there a story behind that line, the familiarity of it. "What did you do when I was…"

"Later later later," Tony insisted ushering his girls away from Steve before he can turn this into an informal trial. "First the three of us need to chat in the soundproof workshop upstairs. Like I said, family meeting."

"I never liked those," Raven mutters to herself.

* * *

The three of them stand in the workshop, alone for the first time for the whole morning. Raven is back to the version Tony and Pepper knew, the shrinking violet. She looks so much vulnerable, her bruises show their damage, as she awaits some sort of punishment. Did she really think they were going to be furious with her? Pepper's words come back in Tony's head, she hasn't had love since she was four years old. Raven went twelve years without any true sense of unconditional love. Any fire in his belly at being possibly hoodwinked fizzles out of Tony, and he's just happy she came home. Raven could have easily run off with her cuckoo girlfriend and never look back. She wanted to come back to them. That meant something.

"You owe me like three dozen cupcakes," he tells her. "I mean it. I've never lost so many years off my life by doing nothing."

"I didn't mean to worry anyone…"

"Raven," Pepper scolds with none of the grief she poured out yesterday, "why wouldn't we be worried about you? Look at your face." She caresses her bruised cheek, which brings a little wince out of Raven. "Those guys were Hydra. You could have died."

She stalls, debating whether Pepper was upset because she didn't expect to die or wasn't worried at the thought of endangering herself. "Uhhh… I'm sorry?" Her apology did not lack sincerity, it lacked conviction. Raven was sorry about worrying them but not for getting hurt. It's singlehandedly the most tilted thing Tony sees, but he doesn't let it scare him. Not anymore.

"We thought we weren't going to see you again." He goes to lay it on thick. In any other situation it would be a serious guilt trip but for Raven he's trying to breach her walls. "You hacked Friday and I had no clue what happened to you. Hell, I was ready to send out an es-oh-es for you."

She bows her head, like a five year old caught with their hand in the jar. "It's not like I haven't done it before."

"That isn't fair," Pepper objects. "Aren't we allowed to worry? Do your friends think this is okay?"

"No," she says with a pinch of volume. "They fuss and tell me off. Dammit Raven this. Jesus Raven that."

Tony can't help but smile at least someone got some scratches into her inner walls. He can almost see a team of people, giving Raven a real speech about how irresponsible and reckless she was being. And little Raven pouting like they were overreacting. "So you do this a lot? Go off and get into fights?"

Back comes the teenager. With a surly huff she grumbles, "You're one to talk."

"Touché," he relents. "But I wear body armor, titanium body armor."

She scoffs, "I had protective gear on!" She scratches at her head. "I did get ambushed but… that's not the point!"

Pepper suppresses a shudder. So it was ugly. "What did they want?"

"To take me back to Hydra in a body bag," Raven says truthfully. "It looks like only one person, so I'm not too worried about it."

"You're not?" Pepper challenges. "Someone threatens your life and you don't care?" She sends him a side glance, glaring at the last time Tony did something stupid. And got their house blow up by terrorists, that he gave their address to publicly. Fair enough, he thought with a shrug. I deserve that.

"Technically it was your life, but no. I know him," she revealed, as if this should make them feel better. "After today only a handful things can happen." She takes a not so carefree breath. "I should have known he'd try something."

"You haven't told us his name," Tony noted. "Any special reason why?"

She goes to sit on a nearby stool rubbing an imaginary stain with her thumb. "He's my best friend's father. So, going after him will put all my friends in danger. Not to mention all the other scenarios that can happen." She lets out a long suffering sigh. "Everything is a mess when it comes to me."

This doesn't sound like a topic of life and death. It sounds so mundane and casual they have to mentally remind themselves what they're talking about.

Tony repeats this summary of information slowly. "You not only know who put this hit on you. You also have access to his personal information… And you can't touch him because he may pick on your friends, one of them being his son. About right?"

"Basically." Raven smiled at a hidden joke. "I've known him since I was seven. I was never a fan of his."

Raised by wolves and bears indeed, Tony thought pensively. What's it like watching a girl grow up to only kill her? Did this happen often with Raven? Having people you knew all your life, knowing full well at the first slip they'd cut your throat. His father was a bastard but he didn't keep him in a constant state of dread and paranoia. It made him wonder on how deep Raven's damage ran. In her eyes, were they the dangerous strangers and Hydra was normalcy. No wonder Steve freaks her out. He comes off aggressive but everyone knows he's _all talk_ when it comes to Raven. Was she walking around laying in anxious wait for him to try something and driving herself up a wall in anticipation? Strangle her in her sleep?

"So what now?" Pepper wonders. "We're going to wait for him to try again until he gets bored?"

"No," she says. "He sent a bunch of new guys after me. Word's gonna spread that I'm a botched job, and he'll be stuck. None of his usuals took the job."

"You know them too." Tony can help but rub his face. She knows his personal mercenaries too. "And they didn't want to take the job."

"They all know I'm mental so I guess they didn't want to risk it. You know, since I know who's married, got kids, and all that type of stuff." She fidgets with her nails. "Plus I kinda like some of them. I'd hate to have to kill them because they had a job to do."

The air goes cold and thick as she admits it with a semblance of shame or regret. It all starts to really sink in for Tony, she's killed people on several occasions, whether for want or necessity and she was prepared to do so for Pepper. Did Hydra know that she could fight? It was no secret who taught her how.

"How many times have you done this?" Tony asks her genuinely concerned. Raven didn't have protective gear like him nor was she strong like Steve, her body could only take so much and being already so damaged.

"Jesus." She scratches her head wracking her brain. "By myself or with help?"

"Does it matter?" Pepper pondered.

"It makes a world of difference. I could just be giving an order or requesting a number two for back up. It changes the whole deal."

"You could have died." Is the near woeful reply from Pepper. "You could have gotten seriously hurt, when you could have called Tony. Instead of putting yourself in danger." Her tone threatens to be hysterical. "For me and -"

Raven can't let her finish. She snaps mind sentence. "Well I couldn't let them could I?" She whined, thinking they were disturbed with _her._ "The public is already divided about the Avengers since the whole Sokovia thing. If Tony had gone it would have been a PR nightmare and it would have made all those edgits nervous, and it would have all gone to hell. I was trying to help!"

This was going to be harder than he thought, but Tony was not going to stop because Raven was adorably confused. "That's not it. We thought something happened to you." He grabbed her shoulders. "Don't you get it, if anything happened to you… I wouldn't forgive myself."

"Huh?" She gaped. "Oh…" It sinks in at last. "Oh."

At a time like this there was no better time to say something like, I love you, but Tony had a feeling that Raven wasn't ready to hear that. She was having such a hard time digesting concern, saying I love you, might be taken with suspicion rather than relief. So he smiles at her, the best smile he can muster. Rubbing her shoulders with his thumbs as gently as he could. He thought about all the times he came home to Pepper with bruises like her, after he and Steve fell out, there was no way he could judge Raven harshly. She just wanted to do the right thing and she had no idea how to without hurting herself.

* * *

 **Sorry about the delay! I literally had no time for anything this week, and as an apology I'll give you some feels.**

 **So we're going to wind down a bit and focus on some feels, so brace yourselves. So anything you want to see, let me know. As always any critiques or advice makes the story better for everyone. Oh and by the way to the reviewer who asked if I was Irish, I'm not I'm actually from the Caribbean, I just studied Irish speech patterns via Youtube. Is it accurate enough?**

 **Until next time,**

 **Anotherscribe**


	26. Chapter 26

**Chapter 26**

No one knew what to do with the girl they were left alone with, she was an entire other species than Raven. Sullen without her partner in crime she sat at the huge table outside the kitchen, bored and disinterested with the remaining Avengers in the room. Everyone exchanged wary glances, Eun Gi symbolized many threats and new clues about the enigmatic Raven. On one hand, she was physical proof that New York was not as secure as they hoped; a whole team of Hydra's hired guns managed to not only rig Pepper's car to explode, lure Raven out to a fight and let people like Eun Gi in. On the other hand, she was the prime key to Raven's secrets, to what she worked on and dealt with. She was the lead Steve needed to make his case to Tony. Too bad she was also her girlfriend and arguably the most loyal to the odd girl, but she could easily riled up.

Clint however had other conversation topics in mind. "Can I be honest with you?"

Eun Gi raised her brow, curious and indulging. "About what?"

"You are not what I expected, if I ever had to imagine Raven with a girlfriend."

It was an unconventional way to break the ice but it got Eun Gi talking. "Who would you expect?" She sighed, "Some disgusting old man who would ask her to call him daddy?" She snorted to herself, **"Typical."**

"Oh my god," Clint faux-gagged. "Do not put that in my head. No, I mean… Raven's quiet, and you're not."

Eun Gi smiled sadly, "She's quiet because of what those bastards did to her." She tugs at the necklace at her neck, "And because she doesn't trust you."

Natasha notices what the pendant is, and who has one just like it. "Who bought them?" She was the least surprised about this new development, for reasons none of the Avengers could safely assume.

"Raven," Eun Gi said softly after a moment of internal debate. "They were a birthday present." Her cocky confidence was gone and her youth shone through. "She finds the ugliest things so pretty."

"How long have you two known each other?" Natasha moves effortlessly into her questioning.

"Six years. She was ten, I was twelve when we first met." She giggled, mostly to herself. "She's almost the same as when I met her."

"Six years?" Clint couldn't contain his shock. They all expected her to be some experiment that went wrong or a kidnapped child, but it was sounding more and more like they grew up together. "How did you end up in Hydra?"

"My family is Hydra," she calmly explains. "My father joined with my mother, they had me and my older brother."

Steve is caught in a snag between disbelief and fury. Were there other kids like Raven and Eun Gi being raised and manipulated into following Hydra? Kids who didn't have a choice until it was too late. "You're whole family is Hydra. And what they do if they found out you were here?"

Eun Gi laughed fiendishly, "Here would be the first place they would look. My family knows I will follow Raven anywhere. And my father is dead, he's the only person in my family who hated Raven. My brother loves Raven more than he loves me," she added musing at an unknown irony. "After… the experiment, my family is ready to throw me into a private asylum and forget I existed. They thought I was going to be a useless zombie like you." She gestured to Bucky. "Raven was the only one who protected me, sometimes from my own family's ignorance."

There was not much they could say in condolences. Raven had saved Eun Gi's life from inside the hellish underbelly of Hydra, not even her family wanted to help. A fourteen year old girl, with a healing hole in her face stood up to her best friend's family to protect her like no one had for her. Steve sounded vaguely impressed when he spoke of Raven.

"She looked out for you, gave you time to heal." His eyes glanced briefly to Bucky, who also stole a never ending, millisecond long stare.

"There was a doctor who tried transporting me behind Raven's back, convinced my mother I was insane and that I should be sent to his facility as a permanent resident. Raven was waiting for him in the driver seat of the van… With a lead pipe." She paused, thinking about what had happened after. "I do not remember much about that night, they gave me very strong medicine. I do remember Raven helping me into a wheelchair, taking me back to my room, lying me in my bed and sitting there until I feel asleep. She held my hand the whole time." Eun Gi mimics with her own hand how Raven held hers. "She massaged my knuckles and promised me everything was going to be okay, that she was going to protect me."

Pietro whistles in exasperation. "This is getting too weird for me."

" _Yah!_ " Snapped Eun Gi. "Raven is the only person in the whole world who protected me from everything my family let happen to me. She supported me as I got better and the times I nearly lost myself. It was Raven who got me and my family to sit down and make peace with one another and she protects them from Hydra turning on our family name. You have no idea what we have done for each other because people like you were busy and clueless!"

That's what it all came back to in the end, it was all their fault for being human. Steve was getting a bizarre sense of deja vu to the Sokovia Accords. When Tony tried to explain to him how they should be put in check for the sake of the innocent. Never did he think about what might be happening inside of Hydra. How many kids like Raven and Eun Gi were inside the folds of Hydra, surviving by their wits and wiles until someone saved them? Was Raven their protector? Or was she the one who broke the mould? Steve was about to question Eun Gi on this, when Raven, Tony and Pepper reentered the room much more relaxed than when they left. Still on edge but, it was a clear improvement.

Raven was the first to survey the new plate of tension in the room. "What did I miss?" She asked Eun Gi.

" **Nothing,"** Eun Gi scoffed. **"You didn't tell me how stupid these people are."**

Whatever she told Raven, it got a smile out of her. "Behave," she chuckled. This was different type of smile. The only one they knew was the hesitant, vastly unsure of herself curl of the mouth. When it was aimed toward Eun Gi there was a degree of charm and girlish shyness. It reminded Rhodey of a younger Tony before alcoholism eroded some of his better parts.

"We were just chatting with Eun Gi," Natasha told Tony and Pepper. "Apparently she and Raven were friends for years."

Raven goes into subtle panic mode. "What did you tell them?"

"Nothing," Eun Gi singsonged. "I did not tell them about the time you drove up to my apartment on a motorbike and texted me to come down."

She blinks, going a little red in the face. It the most color anyone has seen on her face. "That's not how that night went!" Raven argued with a foreign lightness in her voice. "You told me you were feeling sad and I said why don't I come over."

"But you did not actually say that," Eun Gi reminded her.

"But you knew that I would come," Raven teased back. "And you practically flew downstairs when you saw me."

"How could I not?" Eun Gi laughed. "You were sitting on top on a car in that ugly jacket of yours with takeout cartons."

"I thought you would be hungry!"

"It was three in the morning!"

"So?" Scoffed Raven. "Junk food has no schedule. Besides you bloody well devoured it."

"Because I am not rude!"

Tony glanced around at everyone just to make sure he wasn't imagining things. Everyone had similar looks of disbelief on their faces. After spending hours discussing how dangerous Raven was with her macabre fancies and weird mannerisms, and she was the same girl who drove to her girlfriend's house with takeout because she was sad in the middle of the night. He doubted if anyone was taking in all those details, her face was more absorbing. She was smiling and gushing, maintaining eye contact and acting like a kid. Raven looked so immeasurably happy Pepper was clutching his hand to death. Her eyes were so glassy from this private version of Raven that no one knew existed, even Steve was having whiplash.

"Oh my god, I forgot!" Eun Gi shouted. "I brought some of your stuff with me."

Raven's face drops. "You didn't. You did not." She steps back from her. "I swear on me mum if you taking the piss with me…"

"I did!" She swore. "Wait here!"

And she ran up to Raven's room coming back within moments with huge duffle back that she set on the ground at Raven's feet. Both girl feel to their knees opening it like it was there secret treasure box. What it about Raven that she managed to stuff her whole life in her bag? Tony used to think it was because she was severely lacking in worldly possessions but maybe it was because what was important couldn't be put in a bag or carried somewhere. They were pointing at the unseeable contents switching to Korean as Raven all but bounced up and down like Flubber. Despite this being an intimate moment, he felt brave enough to step in and include himself. By coming closer he saw a few highlights, and it broke his heart. Sports jersey, a worn scarf, a plaid blanket, a stuffed white rabbit in a waistcoat, a leather jacket, a wooden puzzle box and an aging participation trophy. Juvenile things, not weapons or classified documents. They were the things she held dear.

"Is this all of it?" He wondered. "I guess if you lived in a single, one-cot barrack room -"

Raven blinked up at him, genuinely bewildered. "What gave you that idea? I lived in a house. Several – no, actually it's just four places I live."

"Four places?" He has to shake his head to try and figure out what she was telling him. "Where?"

"Dublin, Budapest, Seoul and Barcelona," she listed off. "That's home."

Home. That stuck a little pin in Tony's heart. Was here home, with him and Pepper? "They can't all be home," he pointed out.

Raven contemplates this and decides, "I guess it depends what year it was. But they're all special in their own way." She then added, "But Dublin is always home, that's where my mum is buried."

Tony swallows a flinch at the mention of Vivian. He already knows without asking that Raven probably visited her mother than he did his own parents. If Seoul was where Eun Gi lived and he assumed Barcelona was where her other friend lived, who's father wanted her dead, that left one country unnamed. A suspiciously former country of the Soviet Union. He knew, but he wanted to be sure and test this new road with Raven.

"What about Budapest?" He does his best to act like he has no clue, but he can feel everyone behind him catching up.

Raven's mouth opens to say her famous last words, but instead she stops herself and reconsiders it. Probably remembering their heart to heart in the workshop. "It's… a complicated story."

"I won't mind," Tony promised.

She sighs heavily, extremely uncomfortable about what she has to say. Eun Gi reaches her hand and squeezes tightly three times. It grounds Raven in the present and she begins to talk. "My handler is Hungarian, when I was eight almost nine, we moved to Budapest when I started to work full time for Hydra."

"He's Hungarian, so you speak Hungarian then?"

"Fluently. I can read and write it perfectly too." She inhales sharply. "He took me back there after the shit storm in Washington, when things started to get ugly."

"Ugly?" Pepper echoed. "Define ugly."

"I was left in a windowless room for several weeks. And when he came back for me he decided to take me to Italy as a present. We had a huge fight and he ended up leaving me in Italy…"

Tony can't contain his horror. Who abandons a traumatized, injured child in a foreign country. "But you were twelve… When did he come back?" Is this how she got so fluent in Italian, out of survival?

"He didn't. I waited a month before realizing he wasn't coming back for whatever reason, so I cleared up a few things, bought a ticket for the ferry to Spain and went to a friend's… It wasn't the safest place for me but I didn't know where else I could go." She bows her head. "Felix is the closest thing I have to family."

I didn't know where else I could go. The closest thing I have to family. With those words Steve finally understands. Tony turns her head to see that hard look in his eyes. These people weren't good or bad to Raven. They were her family and friends, the people who protected her when no one else did. She was only doing the same for them. And the opposition against Raven crumbles the second she lifts her eyes and everyone see the visible tears she was fighting back.

"He's not really Hydra, his family just makes really shady deals so they stay rich. His dad, Rogelio always complained I made his son a sissy." She looks back to her duffle avoiding everyone's stares. "You'd like him, he loves aged cognacs and beer, he taught me to play the guitar and I try to show him a few chords on the piano. I met him when I was seven," she rambled. "He used to bloody hate me, because I used to chase after him a lot. He loves to tell people that I grew on him like a wart. You get used it after a while and if you squint it looks somewhat cute."

Everyone snorts at the analogy. Eun Gi carefully added with a smile, "Tell them his favorite thing to say."

"Oh right. Goddammit Raven" She snorted, the tears gone. "Every time I do something he always starts with, goddammit Raven. I leave you you alone for a week and everything goes to shit."

"I turn my back and someone's in the hospital," added Eun Gi.

"And something's on fire." Raven's face brightened. "Remember when he said, I'm getting to old for this, I'm not even old and I'm getting too old for this?"

Tony couldn't help but say, "Sounds you're always in trouble." His mental collage of Raven's childhood is splashed with images of a mischievous girl you couldn't help but love. "I bet he misses you like crazy," he added, almost guilty.

He barely knows Raven and he thinks of the world of her. He can't imagine what someone who's known her for nine years must be going through. Thinking your family was dead only to find out they had been tortured and taken far away from you. He tries to picture this stranger from Barcelona who stood by Raven's side in the darkest times of her life. Felix couldn't be a monster for caring for someone as delicate as Raven.

"He's going to be so mad we didn't call him," Eun Gi remarked.

"And for once it's not my fault," Raven declared. "So no one is going to yell at me this time." She pulls out her cellphone from her back pocket, debating. Her face wrinkles, puzzling on what she should do.

" **Felix knows his father is a maniac,"** Eun Gi said, reading her mind. **"He's not going to reason with him the second he knows Rogelio had any part of putting you in that bunker."** She combs a coif of hair out of Raven's face. "You know he loves you more than anything."

Tony soundlessly sighed. Raven even needed convincing her own friends liked her. In the corner of his face Steve rubs his face and Natasha folds her arms tightly. It was worse than what Pepper speculated, at every turn of her life Raven was abandoned and abused but she never gave up, she kept fighting. Maybe that was why so many people wanted her dead, if Raven ever decided to be an Avenger or Shield Agent she would be unstoppable – no, she's already unstoppable. Neither Hydra nor a bunch of mercenaries could put out Raven's fire. They were killing because of what she could do, not what she had done.

"So how many friends do you have?" Natasha asked with a smile. "Because it sounds like you're really popular."

"I…"

"She has so many!" Eun Gi announced digging into the duffle bag. She pulls out a laptop decorated with so much decal stickers the device looked more like a sleek box than an electronic device. Plugging in a wireless charger, she turns it on without any qualms from Raven save for a soft glare. "Yes you do," she chided Raven. "You should have seen the funeral we had for her," she told the Avengers. "So much people were crying." She begins searching for something.

At the same time, Steve said, "There was a funeral?" And Raven said, "People cried?"

"Well of course," Eun Gi told them both. "We buried the fake body those bastards said was yours, right next to Raven's mom, I made sure they didn't put a dove on your tombstone…"

"Thank Christ," grumbled Raven. "Did you get a bouquet of my favorite flower?"

"Yeah, and Kyung Gi made sure everyone brought carnations or violets as the bouquets." As the laptop boots up she added, "But you do know that a lot of people came for you, right? All the boys, some of the girls, even that rich asshole you like so much."

"Rich asshole?" Clint muttered. "Which one?"

"Ha ha," snarked Raven. "It's this guy I kinda do business with, he's a little… a huge dick but I sort of murdered one of his business rivals and he loves to say he's forever in my debt."

Eun Gi finds a group picture from some get together and shows it to all of them. It must have been a hell of a night, everyone was laughing, faces distorted. Amongst the chaos Raven is recognizable yet she's not. Unlike the feral girl they found, this girl is younger, thinner, with a big smile and sad eyes. Her hair was styled in a squared off pageboy cut. Mostly surrounding her are burly men, clean and buzzed cut military types, pretty girls in flirty outfits. Her friends are the closest to her, Eun Gi and her brother, a more solemn version of herself; handsome with a hand on Raven's head. Felix, who has an arm around Raven's waist, in a brotherly fashion almost like he's encouraging her to smile. He has an Al Pacino look during his Godfather years, suave and wild with a boyish glow to him.

Raven was a secret social butterfly by the looks of it. Some things about the Starks you couldn't change.

"You…" Rhodey blinked slowly, baffled. "Killed someone for him."

"No, I killed someone who apparently was in his way. I killed him because he beat up a friend of a friend, and I did promise her one huge favor."

"Details, please," Sam mumbled.

"Okay, so I'm friends with this escort who gives me info from her customers who happen to do a lot of under-the-table stuff, so when her friend got her face messed up by this asshole who paid off her boss, she called me. I wasn't going to kill him, but…" She scratched her face. "But as it turns out a lot of people wanted him dead, so a lot of people I didn't even know sabotaged the investigation."

"You gotta team of hookers who you get you information?" Grumbled Bucky in disbelief.

"You'd be surprised the shit men say when they're getting their dicks -"

"Please for the love of god don't finish that sentence," Clint pleaded.

"Fine," she said apologetically. "Either way, rich guys are typically very careless with their pants off." She realized this might be a sensitive topic to Tony. "Sorry I didn't -"

"It's fine," he dismissed, good-naturedly. "It's the first indirect jab you took at me, and I kinda deserved it." He ruffled her hair signaling it was no harm done. "So what you're the queen of favors?"

"Well, not exactly…"

"Yes she is," Eun Gi interrupted. "Raven can fix anything, and she does it for almost nothing."

During this whole time Vision had been silent for the most part, now he came forward. He and Raven hadn't been properly introduced but if what Eun Gi just said was true, he couldn't delay any longer. Her eyes went immediately to the life form curious to what he wanted, giving him her full undivided attention. Eun Gi takes one look at him and rolls her eyes. "Someone's getting a new boy."

"Excuse me?" Vision inquired.

"Whatever you are going to ask you will get because Raven's two weaknesses are the color blue and pretty eyes." Her eyes twinkled with mischief. "Just ask him." She pointed her chin at Bucky.

"Shut up!" Raven slapped her arm.

Vision took in the exchange, fascinated at this new aspect of human life. With a smile he spoke. "Miss Raven I was made aware that perhaps you can help me with a problem I'm having. That you possibly have had experience with the Infinity Stones that have -"

Eun Gi moans despairingly realizing what he was going to ask. "Not this again!" She threw herself across Raven's lap. "I hate those damn things."

Raven on the other hand is already thinking up solutions to whatever problem Vision could be having. "So that's what on your noggin. What's the problem?"

"I don't understand its purpose."

She blinks three times, slow and pensive before looking sweetly sympathetic. "How long have you been around?"

"Approximately two years."

"Oh Jesus, you're having an existential crisis." Was Raven's conclusion.

While Eun Gi exclaimed, "Awww, he's a baby!"

Raven shot her look. "Seriously?" Eun Gi shrugged, and Raven continued. "But seriously though, what is there not to understand?"

"Its purpose," he stated.

"Well," she huffed. "Technically it's a power source, much like how humans are sacks of energy. Your consciousness is the way it is according to your set of input data and your independent interactions post-creation. Are you with me?"

"Somewhat." Vision sat cross legged on the floor in front Raven, much like a child before a teacher. "Go on."

"You're just having what humans go through sooner or later, wondering your purpose, the grand scheme and your role in it. It's just trickier for you because most people chalk it up to a quest of spirituality, which won't work for you since you were clearly the result of a list of definite events. You can't experience an identity crisis like others because you are the first person of your circumstance. But honestly, it's the same thing with different terms, like most things in the world. It's nothing to lose sleep over," Raven assured him, "you're just having human emotions in a non-human form." She folds an arm under another, a hand propping up her chin. Drumming her fingers on her chin she muses, "However since the stone came from that specter thing, that means you can probably control people's mind if you wanted to."

She pulls a thin metal pointer from the bottomless duffle bag. "Mind if I do something mildly annoying? I promise it's not invasive."

"By all means," Vision welcomed.

"Aren't you a dear," remarked Raven with a smile. Before she tapped the Infinity Stone on Vision's head, three times in a row. Vision hardly minded but everyone else flinched instinctively, it was technically his brain and heart. She blinked at a lack of reaction from Vision and the Stone. "Well at least you stabilized it. You couldn't poke at that thing without some distance." She tosses the pointer back into the duffle bag. "Honestly mate, I wouldn't worry about it much. But if you're so hellbent on understanding your power you can always trying some exercises." She gestures to Wanda. "You and Wanda could try some mutual mental yoga. What I mean," she elaborating sensing she lost him, "is that you two can mutually establish a mental bridge, see what it's like. Your life and her powers are infinitely connected so you two should be the best people to quote-unquote spar with each other."

Clint softly mouthed, "Woah," in reaction to Raven's speech. Everyone knew that Vision was going through problems with his existence and Stone on his forehead. Yet in matter of seconds Raven had an answer for him. With a knowledge that made her sound freakishly old, as if she lived a thousand years seeing things over and over again. No one could imagine what she would be when applying her knowledge to actual technology.

Vision was having another reaction, a transcending deja vu. "You sound like someone I know…" There's a tense pause as he stares into her eyes. They slowly become frightened, as if she could read his mind. "You knew Ultron."

"What?" Tony laughed nervously. "What are you talking about? Where is this coming from?"

Vision didn't look at Tony. "I was created by Ultron as his Vision, some of his memories transferred to me before the process was interrupted… You left quite an impression on him…" He gazes at Raven like he's now seeing her clearly for the first time.

Raven scowled nastily but didn't say anything. Tony wasn't letting her get off that easy. "Raven, what is he talking about? You didn't… There's no way…"

With a frustrated moaned she confessed, "He wanted me to build him, and kill you." She pointed to Vision and Tony respectively. "He was banking that I hated you as much he did. I told him he had bigger daddy issues than me and we got into a scuffle."

"You fought Ultron?" Rhodey bellowed. "You? By yourself?" If Rhodey had his walking cane he would've been leaning on it by now. These Starks were going to kill him.

"It wasn't fight per se. It's more like I ran from him while he tried to blow me to hell, he grabbed me, I stabbed him in the chest and he dropped me a couple feet… really really high up."

"You aren't telling us everything Raven," Natasha observed. "What else happened?"

* * *

 **Hello lovelies! I give you a regularly scheduled update. Just some reminders (because I can't remember if I clarified this properly, or incase you forgot) ; whenever you see bold, someone is speaking in a foreign language that not everyone is going to understand. I personally don't care for having full sentences in another language and scrolling down for a translation. Any words in italic will be short, common phrases and words. Which i will either explain within the chapter or down here. But more than likely you can guess what it means so it won't disturb your reading.**

 **Yah, is basically hey, or oi for my readers from the UK (I know who you are lol).**

 **As always let me know what you think, corrections, observations so I can improve this story. And of course if you have any questions about the f** **ic itself. If you wanna get more personal PM me or check out my tumblr.**

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	27. Chapter 27

**Chapter 27**

It had been a long day, Raven was relieved for the few hours to herself. After spending weeks at a freezing base in Sokovia to be somewhere remotely pleasant was a gift. A part of was worried about the Maximoff twins she left behind, two kids scrambling to smother the grief of losing their family. She wished she could tell them the pain would only stop if they accepted that this grief was never going to pass. But who would listen to her, a thirteen year old girl? It didn't matter that she was genius and smarter than everyone in the room, she was still just a stupid girl to them. But she liked Wanda and Pietro, they were nice once they remotely adjusted to their powers. Pietro was funny, always ready to play tricks and laugh at her pranks. Wanda was a calm, pleasant person to be around although she could be a bit contradictory. Raven expected that was because she realized how irreversible her decision was to be a human test subject, especially with the barbaric way they had to test her powers. The only thing she could give her was some basic human comforts and patience.

Pretty Boy teased her about having a crush on her. Everyone thought that was the reason Janos ordered her to leave Sokovia, that her "tastes" would be distracting. It was better than saying she might turn these two vulnerable weapons into her comrades. The increasing rumor of her being a wild child was better for morale than her being a calculating usurper. And technically she did have a teeny tiny crush on the pretty Sokovian. Eun Gi gave her hell about it and rather testily too. She was acting so weird lately Raven didn't feel like telling her anything anymore.

When she heard she was going to help the twins the first thing she said was, "Please don't let this be like last time."

As if it was her fault she couldn't leave an innocent, brainwashed man to kill his best friend. None of her friends seemed to see what was going on around them. It made her pray for work to busy her away from the growing tensions. Sleep was harder to hold on to these days. Raven kept hearing things the very second she drifted off to sleep. Creaks outside her door, whispers behind the walls, moans from under her bed. If she told anyone they would send her to a doctor. They would shove pills at her, doing more harm than good. She could keep it together, all she had to do was keep quiet.

She barely settled into REM sleep when something made her jolt up. Just like every night for the past month. There was nothing unusual about it, or the sound. Her latest pills were making it so hard just to lie down and go offline. Even if for an hour.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to wake you."

Raven jumped back, head butting the wall above her headboard. Something was in her room. It would have been scary enough to have a man creeping into her room but this was nightmare fuel. A giant 8ft robot was in her room staring her down like he was late party guest. At least she could assume he was a he, with his gravelly masculine voice and anatomy. He was smiling, his small red eyes taking her in.

"Someone like you shouldn't be left home alone," he crooned.

"Who are you?" She demanded. "What do you want?" He was built like an Iron Man robot but with more humanoid aspects. Defined muscles that mimicked breathing as he spoke and oddly enough, teeth.

"Me?" He strolled around her room observing everything. "I wanted to talk to Hydra's secret weapon. I've heard a lot about you, from the twins."

"The twins?" Her heart twisted with dread. "What did you do to -"

"I didn't do anything. Not to them anyways." He picked up a book from her shelf, amused at its title. "The smartest mind in the whole world… You like to be unassuming don't you? Hiding under the radar while your enemies run into themselves." He chuckled to himself, "I wonder what Tony Stark would think of you."

He knew her secret. This was bad, really bad. Raven knew she had a prototype weapon hiding by the shelf next to her door. To get it she would have run past this thing, and not die.

"Oh yes, I know all about you Raven. The first worthwhile creation of Tony Stark, a very promising leader for Hydra. That is," he hummed, "if you actually wanted to be. You had full access to the specter and you let the Avengers take it. You pretended not to know its potential, only to have the Avengers figure it out for themselves."

All the pieces fell into place in a matter of seconds. The base had been found by the Avengers, they took the staff, built this thing and the twins joined it. "No…" She said in horror. This is precisely why she played dumb with the bloody thing, whatever creature you made with its power had the potential to turn on you. It was a mind controlling power source, with the ability to give regular people powers if they could survive the change. The scepter was too unpredictable for her to trust her superiors not to use it unwisely.

Yet, to make a weapon wasn't Stark's style. She had spent months observing each Avenger to predict their behaviors perfectly, and Tony Stark would never make a weapon like this. Unless he was manipulated – Wanda. She planted a fear into his mind that trumped his trauma of being kidnapped, which made him make this.

"Dammit Wanda," she swore under her breath. Whatever silly crush she had on the woman turned to dust. Of all the stupid things to do. Why not break his neck like anyone else would? She couldn't do it, so she's going to let them kill each other.

"Wow." The robot leaned down to stare deeply in her eyes. He seemed spellbound. "In a matter of seconds you figured it all out. Fascinating. Oh!" He exclaimed in surprise. "I didn't tell you who I was, did I? I'm Ultron."

"Ultron?" She repeated. That did sound like something Stark would name a game-changing weapon. But it was something about how he introduced himself, how he carried himself like he owned everything including her time. Too much like the playboy his creator had been before. Was he a program? None of the Avengers would stand by and let Stark built a scary robot and not do anything. It hadn't been that long since she left Sokovia. "What do you want from me?" She opted to ask instead.

"No small talk for you huh? I like that," he said with a darkly jovial smile. "I'm still getting used to how you humans work. I'm going to destroy the Avengers, and after reading your file I thought you would interested."

He read her file? Definitely a program in a robot then. But then he had to know about…

"And I also know you aren't a fan of Hydra either."

"They're both edgits," she muttered. "One people cheer, the other they fear."

"Exactly!" He exclaimed joyously. He metallic face expanded in a warped expression of elation. "You do understand! How this world is destined to circle itself, destroying itself and worshipping these unworthy killers."

Sadly, she did know precisely what he was talking about. "Stark made you to be a weapon of peace, and you want to…"

"End it all," he triumphantly declared. "The only way to save this world is too destroy it and make a better one. You know how damned this world really is better than anyone." Was he trying to sympathize with her? His face wasn't made for it. Janos was the better con artist.

"That sounds pretty biblical for a robot." She remarked, "Very old testament."

"Aren't most human religious?" He quipped.

"By default," she admitted. "It's an evolutionary set back. We made the myth so good we can't stop hyping it up."

Ultron's laugh sent shudders down Raven's spine. "Oh you are wonderful. A pity you didn't make me instead."

Without thinking she snapped, "I don't have a God complex."

He frowned slightly at her tone. "Then you wouldn't mind in helping me destroy a few who think they are? After all, no one has the right to kill Tony Stark more than you."

It always comes back to him, Tony Stark. Now metal monsters were creeping into her room begging her to help kill him. Raven's chest burned with rage, it's always about him. Him, him, him, him! But she wasn't fooled, not anymore, Ultron had the beef with Stark and wanted to use her to hurt him in his last breath. He was trying to manipulate her.

"You've got really bad daddy issues don't you?" She sneered. "You Frankenstein monster reject."

Ultron was taken back by her response, he hadn't seen that coming. Yet he wasn't that broken up about her rejection. "What a shame…"

He was going to kill her. Without thinking Raven picks up her lamp and throws it in his face. She goes around him the spilt second he's distracted, she thinks she could get to the door before he catches her. A blast whizzes past her head blowing the door open and splintering her bookshelf. Raven hits the ground to shield herself from the blast and sees her baton within arm's reach. If she could reach it and hit him maybe she could live to laugh about this.

"You're brave," Ultron remarked. "An admirable quality considering how out matched you are."

Raven tries to scramble toward the smoking hole that was once her door not to escape but to get her baton. Ultron thinks it's the former and grabs her by the ankle, dragging her back toward him. His hand is still scalding from the blast he shot and Raven screams as he holds her unnecessarily tight. Through her tears she sees her baton roll closer to her. She isn't dead yet. I didn't get this far just to die. Tony Stark will not be the death of me. She hooks her nails on the grips jerking it towards her as he pulls her closer.

"Imagine what you could have done," he taunts. "You would have made my Vision a spectacle to behold and now we'll never know, we will?"

He kneels on one knees as he turns her over. Ultron has no idea how bodies work because he ends up tossing her on her back. Her hand that was clutching the baton, lets go as her vision spots from the force he used. She coughs as he grabs her face.

"What a fragile thing you are. Smarter than Tony Stark yet you can wiped out in an instant. That's the problem with you humans."

He holds her mouth, a grip that could easily shatter her jaw. The burning on her ankle keeps her eyes open, furious and alert. Her heart leaps in her throat thinking he's going make her suffer slowly for turning him down. Tears rise from her eyes, just months ago she thought she was going to die and here she was at death's door again. Why was this happening to her? Why does being good get her killed? Why does this man she's never met keep sending death her way? Why? Why? Why?

"Are you scared? Then why did you say no?" He's not mocking her, he's genuinely curious. "I thought humans were advocates for survival? Don't tell me you have some code of honor. That's… pretty cute for someone like you."

Now that pissed her off. Scrambling for her baton with her left hand, snarling behind his grip she said,

"Eat shit you son of a bitch!" And with a snap she stuck the rod between the seams of his chest, twisting her wrist and a bolt of electricity travelled through him.

Ultron staggered back in shock that this little girl wounded him. It was a lucky shot mixed with logic, he wanted to be a man so he designed himself as such. So she aimed for his heart. And then she ran.

"Get back here!" He roared firing at her.

Raven didn't dare look back as two blasts flew by her. If she wasn't going to die slowly then, Ultron was definitely going to make her pay. A blast hit the stairway, pushing Raven back with the force of heat and wood. A piece hit her face and she fell back, blood gushed down her face partially blinding her. Still she tried scrambling away only to feel another blast near her socked feet, propelling her off the ground. She didn't see where she was going but she felt her body hit and tumble its way onto unforgiving tile. Smack, thump, crack, crack, splat. And when everything stopped spinning she was staring up at Ultron hovering up from the second floor, gazing down at her. He surveys what he's done and is unusually surprised that she's still alive.

"I suppose the polite thing to do is to kill you."

He lifts his hand and it glows with energy. One blow and it'd be over, it would all be over. No more Shield, Hydra, Janos, Tony Stark or anything that makes her hurt. She should welcome it but she didn't want to die. If she were to die, it couldn't be because of the Avengers or Hydra, let it be anything less but them. She didn't want to cry but she can feel the fat tears rolling down the sides of her face, the soft cries forcing their way from her chest. She didn't want to die like this. Not alone, to be tampered with after her death. Anything but a death like this.

Seeing her tears stirs something in the monster and he lowers his hand. "Not that it matters anyway." And he leaves her there, body twisted and half numb.

* * *

"And when I woke up I was in the hospital," Raven said at the end of her story. "I was lucky I wasn't crippled from the fall. I ended up dislocating my left shoulder, two back disks, breaking the same arm in two places, I got two hairline skull fractures, one in the front and one in the back. Oh and the burn I had on my ankle. It's gone now though. It used to look like this freakish hand." She touches the scar on her hairline, "This was a huge gash when they stitched it up, it healed pretty nicely all things considered. The medication I got did more damage than good."

Her audience hadn't said a word through her story, equally entranced and disturbed by what she faced. The only person who could speak was the one person who hadn't met him, Bucky.

"You were thirteen when all of this happened?"

"Yeah," she nodded. "It had a perverse effect on my reputation," she smiled ruefully. "They spun it in a way that I spat in his face because I knew it was a shite deal. I got a lot of handshakes and back slaps. What a bloody joke."

Wanda can't meet Raven's gaze. "Raven… I didn't know."

"I know," she said. She sees how slighted the twins look and sighed. Getting up from the couch they moved to, she walks toward them. "Sure I was pissed, I mean me mum was murdered when I was four and I still knew not to talk to strangers – but I digress." She stops her bottled up monologue to offer her hand to them. "I don't blame you lot, alright?"

The two gaze at her hand like it's a foreign concept. Raven pulls back probably thinking they weren't ready to forgive themselves yet but Wanda leaps up to hug her fiercely.

"I'm so sorry Raven."

Raven's really horrible with affection, Tony can never stop marveling over it. Her whole body stiffens at this relentless hug but she doesn't push Wanda off. She lets her work through whatever this hug will fix. Wanda pulls away probably hearing Raven's comfort zone sirens going off in her head. Her eyes are fogging like she wants to cry for what she inherently did. Something she had to deal with after what happened in Nigeria, but just like how Tony feels right now, to hurt Raven after everything she's been through is a million times worse. At her core Raven is the sweetest thing, devoid of holding grudges to anyone in particular. Even Pietro can't help but reach out and give her head a tender pat, pulling her into his chest like he would Wanda. He is so bereaved he can't look at Raven directly, or even brush by the thick scar near her bangs. Tony is nauseas after her story, thinking how he made that thing and after all the ways he tainted Raven's life she still came back, let him touch her. He brought nothing but bad luck into her life and she seemed incapable of hating him.

How did she do it? He still couldn't look at Barnes and she was in the room with three people who exposed her to a killer robot.

"I just wanna go out a limb and let certain people know I really can't take people crying." Raven glances up at Wanda who tries to wipe her face. Did she see into Raven's memories and felt her fear, thinking she was going to die all alone? Tony doesn't want to think about it.

"Who even found you?" He asks tightly.

With an uncomfortable pause she detangles herself from the twins and said, "My handler. I was in a country house in Hungary. He saw Ultron flying off and came in thinking I was dead. I had no clue he was even stopping by." She rubs the scar Ultron gave her. "I couldn't really be left alone so we ended living together for four months while I got better. It wasn't so bad, me and the devil," she chortled at a private joke that Eun Gi knew as well. "He missed the whole pretense of playing house."

"Playing house?" Steve repeated. "What do you mean?"

"Living with me," Raven softly expanded. "Pretending… certain things didn't happen."

"How did you feel about that?" He asked her. It didn't feel like an accusatory question, but Steve didn't know what Tony had figured out. So her biting tone didn't surprise him at all.

"You have two near-death experiences barley a year a part and tell me what you would do." She takes a sharp breath like someone stabbed her. "I didn't want to be alone," she said tearfully.

So this son of a bitch not only scarred Raven's body, when she was beaten down in every sense of the word he preyed on her. Tony already knew without asking that this was when he probably got Raven on his side again. When she needed someone he pushed himself ahead of everyone else and pulled all the right strings. Tony wished he knew what he looked like so he could show him who's strings to pull.

Natasha waited until Raven made her way back to spot beside Eun Gi, who welcomed her with a comforting squeeze. Then she asked, "When did you last see your handler?"

Raven's whole body twitched. Even Eun Gi was alarmed at how this simple question effected her. She rubbed her back whispering words into the ear as Raven crunched her eyes shut. With a firm voice she said, "At the gala. That's when I saw him last."

Pepper's hands flew to her mouth. "When you went to the bathroom… How did he even know you were there?"

Tony can't speak. All he can see is Raven's terror at admitting this to them, unsure how this confusing admittion would be seen.

"It's all my fault, I was freaking out one night and I snuck out to got for a walk." She rambled in a furious panic. "I was walking by this restaurant, and he was there and he saw me. I tried to run but he ran after me, and I don't remember what happened! I dissociated and I woke up in the Tower like it was dream and then I went to gala a-a-a-and I went upstairs because I needed some air and he was there. He knows I hate big events and that I sneak away when it gets too much and – and," she starts to hyperventilate.

Tony isn't angry with Raven. He walks over to Eun Gi who's doing her best to keep Raven from completely falling apart and touches her shoulder. Raven flinches at it and for a fraction of a second he can see what that man did to her, she gazes up at him _afraid_ of what he might do. Eun Gi is watching him expectantly as well, unsure of how to predict him.

"Princess," he said as he sat beside her. "It's okay. I know you didn't mean for anyone to get hurt."

"Huh?" She's blown away. "Wha?"

"It's okay, it's complicated, I get it." He prays no one interrupts him. "He's the only father you had, that you thought you were going to have, right? You had no idea what was going to happen to you… If you could trust me or not, and he's family. It's really hard to turn your back on family, even when they hurt you."

And with that the floodgates swing open. Raven's face twists trying her best not to cry, not to show weakness but she shatters. With a hollow whine she starts to weep. Tony holds her to him knowing she's appreciate him hiding her face more than hugging her. To hear Raven cry puts a hot dagger in everyone's heart. No one except maybe Eun Gi knows the real reason she's crying; whether it's because she missed him, realized how messed up their relationship was, how damaged he made her or all of the above. Either way Raven sobs loudly into Tony's chest, a broken wailing that makes Steve look away. Eun Gi however is right there with Tony, resting her head on her back, arms around her waist as if to keep Raven from floating away in her grief.

Sometime between this mute healing Wanda's face goes slack and she seems winded. She once said Raven's mind was the hardest to read because of her many simultaneous thoughts, but since she's thinking about one person are her thoughts now focused? Is Wanda being bombarded with Raven's crystal clear memories? Because all of a sudden she comes before Raven who can always sense when something may or may not happen to her. She looks up at Wanda her face puffy, red and wet, who in turns looks ready to weep herself.

"Raven…" She looks to Tony and over her shoulder back to Steve then to Raven. "I'm so sorry no one ever came to save you but that man." She blinks her eyes clear, this moment wasn't about her. "I'm so sorry none of us came to save you. Especially me and Pietro, we're so sorry we forgot about you." And she went to her knees. "Could you ever forgive us?"

Her reply was a bobbling nod. "I already did."

* * *

"She was protecting her abuser." The phrase rolls off Steve's tongue sickening him. "That's what this is all about?"

Tony nods stiffly, "I figured it out when I finally got some alone time with her. This man… He's the same guy who adopted Raven, burned her back and twisted her mind. It only clicked yesterday that why she edited her file, she's wasn't covering her tracks but protecting her friends, him included."

"It certainly makes sense," Natasha said. "A terrified, abused child falling victim to a manipulative kidnapper, becoming attached him despite apparent abuse."

"Being scared of abandonment," Pepper chimes in. "Do you think purposely abandoned her to make her miss him? To make her afraid of being alone?"

"I wouldn't be surprised," Clint grumbled. He rubs his head sighing exhaustedly. "What did she tell you about him Tony?"

"Typical dad stuff. He hates her running around and scraping her knees, likes her to look pretty, basically a controller."

"Extremely controlling," Natasha speculated. "If Raven was left on her own from so young, it's safe to assume she might have been a little wild as a kid. So Hydra would pair her with a firm hand to keep her in place… But someone who can fake being kind."

Wanda was still shaken from her excursion in Raven's memories. Vision was doing his best to gauge how bad it was. "Is there anything I can do Wanda?"

She shook her head as Pietro squeezed her shoulder. "I felt it all, the betrayal, the fear and the love… He hurt her so much and all she wanted was for him to love her, the simplest thing in the world and she had to fight so hard to get it." She sniffled. "I saw him through her eyes, his cruelty, his kindness." She hugged herself.

Bucky who met him by default growls at the memory. "If I knew I was leaving her with that bastard I would have broken his neck."

"Is he coming back, is what I want to know," Steve interjected. "He's Hydra and Raven was more scared of him than Ultron."

"She could afraid of him because he knows her," Tony guessed. "I mean he's been with Raven for ten years, he knows more than all of us put together how Raven thinks. Genius or not, he knows how to scare her and to twist her to do things his way. Why do you think she stayed in Hydra this long?"

"Explain Tony," Natasha insisted.

"She may or may not have hinted that he threw me into her face a lot. Like he was jealous she wanted to know about me and made her feel small about it. He made her believe that if we ever met that I was going to be so disgusted with her that I'd leave her to die… That's why she was so edge when we all first her, he put it in her head that we would sooner hang her than save her."

"Eun Gi didn't seem shocked by this turn events," Vision pointed out. "As if it's no secret this man was very abusive to Raven."

"She tried to get away from him," Pepper recalled. "She just told us, she lived in four places. Dublin, Hungary, Barcelona and Seoul. After what happened in Washington she ran to a friend's house – Felix, she said his name was, he's the home in Barcelona. Her girlfriend is Seoul. And she said those places are more home than others depending on the year. She tried to escape him but he wouldn't let her go, they were stuck together because of Hydra."

"And he doesn't want to let her go," Pietro grumbled. "He might try and come for her."

"With what army?" Bucky spat slipping into his Brooklyn drawl. "A bunch of mercenaries came here and got taken out by Raven and her little friend. He isn't going to find anyone stupid enough to take up the job. If he's going to try and take her he'll have to draw her out, that's the only way. Because clearly it's not hard to get Raven to walk into a fight if it's not her head on the block."

Not that Tony disagreed with Barnes, it was that little slip that distracted him. "Eun Gi's her girlfriend. Not her little friend, which is also grossly inaccurate because that girl is a whole foot above Raven."

He floundered at his mistake. "Right… Right…" He mulls over his slip and the correction, anger fading to a pensive tone. "Do kids that young, figure that out so early nowadays?"

"Some younger than them," Sam told the lost ex-assassin. "Honestly it's the least of our problems."

"Speak for yourself," Tony grumbled. "I gotta prepare an alternate Talk, about healthy relationships – To show that I care."

"Seriously you wanna give her a Talk?" Pepper smiled fondly. "About Eun Gi?"

"As a good father I should let her now that just because she's your best friend, no still means no, and all that usual stuff." He sighed at his future task. "That's gonna be fun."

* * *

Raven sat on her bed apathetically eating a bowl of cereal. Her mind swirled at what just happened, showing her greatest weakness to the Avengers, Wanda seeing into her mind. She was completely exposed. Instead of being liberated Raven felt like lying down and never getting up. Because for all her talk of killing Janos it dawned on her that she couldn't, and how pathetic was that? The one person she would be forgiven for murdering and she couldn't even mentally pull the trigger. Setting her bowl on a nightstand she laid down sighing tiredly. This was not how this day was supposed to go.

"Raven?" Eun Gi sat beside her combing her fingers through her hair. "It's going to be okay."

"I know," she muttered. "I know I've been through worse and -"

"No," she interrupted. "Nothing is worse than this, nothing. But you will be okay," she tells her, "you will go to sleep, wake up and go downstairs. You will watch a movie with me and we're going to talk about your ugly art room and bed room, we're going to unpack the duffle bag I left downstairs, and then we'll order a pizza and watch another movie and maybe two more if you like. But the world isn't over for you, it's just changing."

Raven nodded her head against the sheets. "Okay…" She gazed up at Eun Gi, who continued to pet her head. "Will you stay here?" She pats the space beside her. "I need…"

"I know," Eun Gi assured her laying down beside her, nose to nose. "I'll be right here when you wake up. My wonderful Bird Brain." She kissed her furrowed forehead, smoothening it upon contact. "I will always be with you."

"I love you Unicorn," Raven said into her chin. "I really really really do."

* * *

 **I get you thought I was going to fall off the wagon, and not update until next week? Well I didn't forget you lovelies. And for your patience, you get a super long chapter and a dose of angst.**

 **So I won't divulge much except we are all going to meet the real Raven. If you wanna ask me questions about the fic, please do, all reviews and critiques are welcome. Please let me know what you think and what you want to see, because hey, you might be helping a writer's block down the road. Hit me up on my tumblr if you care to get a deeper look into my madness.**

 **As always,**

 **Anotherscribe.**


	28. Chapter 28

**Chapter 28**

"Raven?" Eun Gi shook Raven by her shoulder. "Raven? Wake up." Her voice was soft and urgent, urging Raven from her sudden slumber.

"Wha?" She yawned, stretching. "Did my phone ring? Did someone text me?" Instinctively she touched her chest, checking for any tangles she might have made in her necklace. Instead she felt skin, that her loose top had been buttoned down to expose her chest. This wasn't strange if it was just Eun Gi in the room, but there was something on her chest that she didn't want her to see.

"What are you not telling me?" Eun Gi demanded lividly. "What happened to you?"

"I can explain," she begins to say. This is the worst day of all days. Being beat up by mercenaries, fighting with the Avengers, people bringing up all these bad memories, crying in front of everyone and now this. Raven can see the fear in Eun Gi's eyes as they gawk at her chest, the bruising had spread since this morning. Compared to all her years of broken bones, chemical and open flame burns, this mar on her chest is almost artful.

The blow from Fatty's shotgun hadn't broken bones, that much Raven was sure of but, if the state of her skin meant anything her muscles and blood were probably horrendously bruised. The purple blotch bloomed in the center of her chest like a hellish flower, with red lines highlighting the random layers of the irritated area. It hid the faint burns from the taser disks well, if you didn't gawk at it like Eun Gi had. Now she likely knew everything that had happened before she showed up. Knowing her she was beyond furious, guilty and hurt. All rolled into a spiky ball ready to be thrown at her head.

"Explain?" She snapped. "Oh you are going to explain and not just to me!"

"Wait, what?" Eun Gi wouldn't, she wouldn't. "You aren't going to…"

"I'm getting the Avengers and you are going to see a doctor about that! I don't care how much you say you're fine, you are going to a doctor!"

She stomped off before Raven even had a chance to make a case. She probably deserved it, she had told so much lies and kept so many secrets from her friends it was miracle they liked her. So Raven laid back down on the bed, face up breathing softly as the day took its final swing at her. Behind her closed eyelids and the rhythm of her breathing she heard Janos, as if he were sitting on the bed beside her.

"My invincible girl, why do you keep hurting yourself?"

"Piss off," she told her daydream.

"I told you that no one would understand you. But you never listen to me, you're so insistent on having your own way."

"It's not too hard since you're way is complete bollocks."

His voice was deceptively fond. "You will destroy yourself one day and have it no other way. You make Icarus look cautious."

"Icarus was an ill-prepared pussy."

"Language Raven, there's no need for swearing."

"Drop dead."

"After you, my invincible girl."

* * *

Tony was talking to Avengers about a possible plan of attack in case Raven's handler came back when he was interrupted by a violent banging on the glass door to his workshop. Eun Gi stood there breathing heavily, one hand shaking while the other kept pounding the glass. It was shatter proof but at this rate she might put a crack into it. He would have thought something was wrong if she didn't look like she was ready to breathe fire.

"Woah, woah, woah, easy with the glass!" He opened the door. "What's the matter?"

She spat, "That idiot is what's wrong." She grabs his by his shirt tugging him by this shirt. "Come with me, all of you!" She ordered.

"What's this about?" Steve hollered over the small crowd heading to Raven's room. Eun Gi's voice seemed to gather them into a herd, shuffling them out of the workshop.

"That idiot!" Was Eun Gi's shrill reply. "That stupid, irresponsible idiot!"

Raven looked more relaxed than he would, if it were him and Pepper going at it. In fact she looks exhausted despite having gotten up from a nap, the first bad sign. The second was the damage on her skin, the ugly purple bruise spread across her chest like a hellish rash. Pepper gasped loudly because it looked like it hurt, like Raven shouldn't be able to breathe and here she was sitting up without much complaint.

"Holy shit," Bucky breathes, "what the hell is that?"

"It's a bruise," Raven muttered, in no hurry to button up herself. Maybe she was too sore to put in any effort. "A bruise with some faint burning…"

Eun Gi voice breaks through the controlled calm Raven had over the room. "How did it happen? How did it get like that? Tell us," she demanded, "and no lies!" Raven opens her mouth and she yells once more, almost to tears. "I said no lies!"

"Fine," Raven snapped. "But just know, I was going to tell you but…"

She gestures to the room, which is understandable but Eun Gi isn't having it. Tony wouldn't have believe this girl was the same girl who held a knife to Steve's throat and laughed. Everyone can sense that this something they do a lot; yelling about Raven's health and safety.

" **You could have told me the second the fight was over. Eun Gi I'm hurt. I think something is wrong! We had a whole day to ourselves!"**

" **I didn't want to worry you! I didn't want to talk about it!"**

Whatever Raven says it knocks Eun Gi back like a slap. **"This is something we talk about later! This isn't like talking about Janos, what happened at Felix's house or my father! This is about you, you and your health! That can never wait."**

" **I've been through worse."**

"I don't care if you've been through worse! You always tell me when you've been hurt," Eun Gi screamed, face going red. "Damn you Raven this is not about appearing weak it's about making sure you're okay! Now what happened?"

Raven took a deep pained breath. "In order of events… One of the guys injected me with adrenaline… That drug I can't take unless I plan to have an uber dramatic suicide. He held me down and got me here." She twists her neck to point to the spot on the neck that seemed scratched up. "I knew it wasn't regular adrenaline. That it was twice as strong because it was the type that they used on me on the bunker, it's fast acting… So I knew what was happening the second the pain started, so I took four taser disks and electrocuted myself." She points to the four spots along her chest without looking. "Here, here, here and here. I passed out and when I woke up my heart was still beating, I had the effects of the drug but I stopped my heart from stopping."

"That how you managed to keep up before I got there…" Eun Gi holds her head in dread. "How you managed to break someone's neck twice. You were on some sort of… high."

"A manipulated sense of invincibility – yeah, my mind was kinda numbing out the pain. And the bruising is from when we fought the rest of them in Connecticut. Fatty fired a shotgun at me, close range. I fell back and I couldn't breathe for a moment. My jacket filtered the damage." She gets up to go into her closet fetching a black jacket none of them had seen before, along with a flatten shotgun bullet. Raven put the two side by side. "I had this jacket hidden underneath the one I had when you found me, it's made from vibrainium." She took a deep breath as she went on. "Yes, it's bullet and fire proof – similarly to a firefighter's coat, it can withstand open flame for about half and hour before you start to feel any serious discomfort."

Tony picks up the hoodie marveling at its craftsmanship, slightly more impressed with that than the danger Raven had been in. This was amazing and she made it all on her own. He bet no one had a clue she made this and wore before every fight. "You made this?" He remarked in awe. Then his fingers brush along the area where the bullet would have hit. "It almost tore through…"

"To be fair I didn't anticipate close range, high powered bullets. It was more made for long distance sniper rifle rounds… I was going through a paranoia phase," she hastily explained.

"Your chest could have caved in from the force alone," Bucky states tightly. Everyone can tell he wants to yell at her. He knows better than anyone how seemingly non-fatal wounds can escalate to death. "You know better than that," he said disappointedly.

Raven turns sour, his words pull an ugly snarl from her face. "Oh right, I'm supposed to think about everything! I gotta be thinking about how I can bloody die and which way, I gotta calculate the minutes before I die and how to prevent it because Raven can't turn off her brain for two minutes!"

"That's not what I meant."

"Then what the - did you mean then?" She screams. "I gotta think about everyone including myself, I gotta always know what's going to happen because god forbid I relax for a minute and just rest! God forbid I just catch me breath and be grateful I woke up at all and was capable of basic motor functions without losing control of my bladder!" On the last note of her rant Raven clutches her chest and lowers her voice aggressively. "I shouldn't be yelling… I shouldn't be yelling." She sits down taking in slow, calculating breaths.

Eun Gi folds her arms. "You are going to see a doctor. I don't care what you say."

"Fine," Raven relents. "It's absolutely unnecessary but fine."

Fine seems to be the most profane thing Raven could say. It rolls off her tongue more acidic than most other four lettered words.

"I mean it," Eun Gi warns her. "You're going to take better care of yourself now that you're out of Hydra. No more excuses."

"I said… Fine," she hissed.

* * *

Within minutes Raven was back where she had began when she first came to Tower, Tony's personal physician came to examine her. He was less tender this time, not to say he was cruel but he knew Raven's wasn't as frail to bad news as he previously thought. Raven never paid much attention to him, not expecting to meet him again in hurry but it looked like they might end up being on a first name basis soon. Tony called him Doc but Pepper introduced him as Dr. Shelley, Raven might have liked him more if she knew he shared surnames as her favorite writer. But it was too late for redoing first impressions. What was stranger was that he oddly reminded her of another author, Stephen King; beady eyes, thin glasses and thin lips on a pronounced jaw and chin. He takes one look at her bruised chest and stares at her like she should be dead. The sentiment was getting old fast.

"On a scale of one to ten, can you describe the pain you're in?" He asked her point blank.

"Uhhh," she droned, unable to answer him. No one has asked her that since she was rescued. Where does it hurt? Can't you feel that? Yes, Raven is sore and her body is stiff but to rate her pain seems pointless. She's not in agony from her bruises, other things are hurting more; the realization that she may really have to kill Janos to be free of him, she made Eun Gi upset, her other friends being in danger and all her well kept secrets being knocked open. Those worries cut deeper than this peculiar bruise. "Five, four?" She grumbles. What was a bruise to broken ribs, bone jutting out of your foot and your back being eaten away by burns? On top of a stamped out heart.

"A four?" He gaped, as though Raven's mouth and her body were on two different planes. "You got shot in the chest by a shot gun, who's bullet has been known to blow faces off. After being forced into cardiac arrest. And this pain is a four?"

Raven sees Janos again, in the corner of the room. In one of his neat suits smiling at her with his controlled fondness. Kindly and cold with his combed back dusty brown hair and small grey eyes. This is the man who was prepared to let her die. The same man who tucked her in at night with a cup of honey and lemon tea. Seeing him hurts worse.

"Three," she decided firmly. "It's a three."

Dr. Shelley blinks once and makes a wild guess. "You had worse?"

"Yeah… So I'm fine." She keeps saying this although nothing is fine. Raven wants to scream and cry, howl at the moon until this intangible ache goes away. She wishes Felix was here, he always knew what to say when Janos got under her skin. He would know – But what if he's dead? What if Rogelio killed his own son? It wouldn't be the first despicable thing he's done.

"Miss Rocher – Raven," he corrected himself. "Are you feeling okay?"

"You just asked me that."

"No, I asked about the bruise, not you." He sets down his clipboard. On another day Raven would have gotten him out the room with a biting snark. He'd be fumbling half-assed diagnosis's just to get away from her. Today she only wishes to be swallowed up and never found again. "How are you feeling?"

"You aren't my therapist."

"No, but you know better than anyone how medicine can alter someone's personality." He adds, "I don't want to prescribe anything that won't help."

"I don't need medicine," she protests softly. "I'm… sick of people giving me pills to take." She rubs her face ignoring the stings of discomfort. It's all too much and she can't keep quiet anymore. "Fed up with people asking me how I feel and then shoving something at it to fix it. Maybe you can't fix it!" She shouted. "Maybe there's nothing to be done, Jesus!"

Dr. Shelley doesn't make a sound. Instead he fetches Raven glass of water from a dispenser in the examination room. "One more test and then I leave," he promised. "I need to see how irritated your bruise is. Is that okay with you?" He asked sincerely.

"Fine," Raven muttered.

Thankfully he's clinically quick, but he couldn't resist poking the bear one last time.

"I would like to ask you a few questions, since you've agreed to a thorough health check." Raven doesn't bother putting back on her shirt as she listens. "Have you had any other serious injuries that I should know about? Besides the ones we've discussed. Head traumas, for example?"

Without thinking Raven tells him everything. "I had two skull fractures from being thrown from twenty feet give or take, and I was subject to routine electrocutions as a form of torture three months ago."

Dr. Shelley blinks at Raven, slowly absorbing what she said. "You had two major head traumas and you were tortured via electrocutions… What was the time between these incidents?"

"A year," Raven answers definitively. "Fourteen months at best."

"So you barely recovered only to be injured again, and again." He mutters the last part more to himself. "You are aware the side effects of repeated head trauma? Whether by blunt force or electricity?"

"Missing memories, personality change, disturbed sleep patterns, I know I know." She rubs the back of her head. "If the pain wasn't going to kill me I'd wish it had. So are you going to try and prescribe something for that, or are you going to sit around and see what happens?"

Dr. Shelley comes out of the examination room in a state of mute hurry. He goes to where everyone is standing but looks mainly to Eun Gi. Without a single glance at anyone else he asks her. "I need you tell me right now, about Raven when she had her skull fracture injury and when she was tortured, has her personality changed? Was she different? I need you to tell me right now."

His tone is frightening urgent it infected everyone."Woah, Doc, what's going on?" Tony intervened.

"Mr. Stark," he said carefully. "I have a suspected diagnosis for Raven but I need a reliable source of medical history. You, Miss Shin. So tell me, what happened with Raven?"

For a silent second, everyone can see Eun Gi's first knee-jerk reaction was to lie. She stopped herself and told the truth instead. "I…" She murmured, a little lost at where to begin.. This is the softest anyone heard her speak. "She… Got meaner… quieter," she said. "When she got very angry she hurt people, not in scary ways but in ways Raven would never do."

"So her personality changed." Dr. Shelley goes grim. "She became extremely aggressive. How aggressive?"

"Intense," Eun Gi said. "She never hurt anyone she liked, but if someone got her mad she would… It was only people we didn't know or care about." Her hollow attempt to defend Raven doesn't go unnoticed. Was Raven the one with the quote-unquote power in this relationship? "And sometimes…" She went on. "She'd hurt herself. She would hit walls and mirrors, and scream."

"And Raven used to do those things before?" He pushed.

She shook her head. "Blood used to make her sick and then one day she didn't mind being covered in it."

Now Dr. Shelley had the courage to face the others. He turned primarily to address Tony and Pepper but with enough voice that everyone could hear. "I just wanted to have some sort of confirmation… I can't compare brain scans but these injuries that have been backed up by Miss Shin and Raven herself." He rubs his head unsure for a second, whether he wanted to continue or not. "These type of injuries have one thing in common; brain damage. I suspect Raven has been so extensively and repeated abused that not only are we dealing with psychological but neurological problems. I wouldn't be surprised if Raven's pain receptors aren't even working properly."

"Huh?" Eun Gi echoed, lost in the medical jargon.

"Raven has been hurt so much, she can't feel pain like normal people do. Most people see it as becoming stronger but her brain is adjusting to damage that has made her mind… numb. For all we know, Raven could be in serious pain but she can't feel it until it is at a critical point."

Eun Gi holds her head in horror as she struggles for a seat. Clint being the mascot for the growing brood of damaged kids Shield's collecting, goes to her side. "Hey, deep breaths okay? Go a little easy on her Doc."

"We are past that point Mr. Barton, Raven needs rest. And I mean serious rest. Raven's mind and body has been on a downward spiral, it's compelling to say that her stubbornness is keeping her alive but medically it's her damaged brain fooling her until she heals on her own. If you want this kid to live past thirty you will listen to me, all of you. Raven needs several months of rest. She needs it or her body will collapse and I can guarantee you she will not get back up." He turned to Eun Gi. "You're the only one she'll listen to, so you need to make sure she relaxes okay? She needs to lie down, to not overwork herself. She needs to heal properly."

With a tearful eyes she nodded. "Is she really… so sick?"

"Her body is hurting," Dr. Shelley told her. "And her mind does not know."

No one noticed when Bucky had left the room until they all realized he wasn't there.

* * *

Bucky had snuck away to go into the examination room where Raven sat on the table tiredly buttoning up her shirt. She glanced up at him and forced a weak smile. He knew she was hurting and like Steve she was too damn stubborn to ask for help. He didn't have to listen to Stark's doctor to know that Raven was in trouble, Hydra was killing her slowly, this life she didn't ask for was killing her. He made a promise to help her and he was going to keep that promise, Raven gave him enough hope and strength to find Steve and start over. She deserved someone like that too.

"They gossiping about me in there?" She wondered softly.

Bucky didn't answer her with any niceties. "What do you think?" Raven is so much like Steve, trapped in a small, sickly body with the heart of twenty men. It's no wonder the two don't get along. They're so alike they could be related. So he knows excactly how to get through her thick skull. "I thought Steve used to give me heart attacks, but you…" He shook his head. "I'm feeling my age, pipsqueak."

"You were one of the people who asked," she pouted. "I told you they would be ugly stories." She sits down with a weak whine. It makes Bucky's fists clench. "Eun Gi's crying isn't she? She always does that when it comes to my health."

"You mad or something?"

"Nah," she muttered. "Just tired." She yawns. "I wish I could sleep for like a week."

"Why don't you?" He suggests. Coming to stand beside her he folds his arms and fakes apathy. "I mean they're going to make sure you do anyways."

Everything he's heard from Stark, about her handler, her and that girl, he doesn't know Raven that well. He wanted to change that. "I remember these summers in Brooklyn, it was so hot you didn't want to wake up for work." He chuckled. "Me and Steve had these shitty jobs, real backbreaking stuff."

"Yeah?" She yawned. "I've never been a fan of summer. Lack of beach body and all that. I always loved winter. It was the last time everything was normal…" She observes him with playful suspicion. "You aren't trying to break the ice about me and Eun Gi are you?"

"Not really… Kids get to do that huh?" He mused with no visible emotion. "That's okay now?"

"Didn't you get the twenty-first century welcome chat?" She teased. "Gays are totally cool now but assholes are still about. The words you can't say anymore."

"I got the last one – Sam told me about that." He cleared his throat tightly. "Steve's never really told me about the whole…"

"I don't know why you're so bashful, you lot live in the gayest cities in America, then and now. You can't tell me you never met one drag queen, running from the police?"

Bucky smirked with smothered chuckle. "A lot of things happened in that city." He turns his head to look down at her. "You know, you really gotta slow down… Take it easy, be a kid."

"I try to, but no one let's me." Raven winces and rolls her shoulders. "You ever wonder what you're going to do with yourself sometimes? I mean how you fit into shit and if you can? Everybody wants me to take it easy but… I don't know, I haven't taken in easy for years, I'm always worrying about stuff, knowing stuff that will keep you up at night. I wish I could be a normal kid, go to uni, get a regular job but I think that I'm way past that."

"I… can't remember much what I wanted out of life besides… well knowing Steve. I don't know what to tell you Raven. Maybe you can -"

"If you say help people I will punch you in the throat," Raven warned. "I've spent my whole life helping people, who never gave me back shit. Helping people is a thankless job which I don't have the heart for." She inhales, grimacing. "I'm not a good person, I can say that. I've done some horrible things Bucky, things that I gotta live with and a reputation that isn't going to go away. I may have escaped Hydra but in some ways they won. I'm no good for anything anymore. I probably won't even make it to thirty because of the hell they put my body through. Eun Gi hates talk like that, but it's true."

"Hey, that's not true." Bucky reached over wrapping a metal arm around her shoulder. "You're a good person." He pulled her into his side. "They didn't win because we're here."

Raven disagreed. "For you maybe, you got to keep something from your past. You chose to fight for this country when you had your head and you still want to after everything, you got what you wanted. I lost everything, the person I should have been died the second my handler adopted me. And everything that made the old me me was taken from me. You got to have so much more than me, and you might not like to hear that but, at least your mom got to say goodbye to you. She got to have closure, mine died not knowing if she even managed to save me. I was still a baby to her." She pulled his hand off her shoulder. "You have no idea what I've lost Bucky, that I'm still losing. First it was my mind, now my life. What's left of it anyways." She rises from beside him. "I know you wanna get to know me, be friends… Just don't waste your breath, alright?"

"Don't be such a punk," Bucky snapped. "God, I thought Steve was a pain in the ass but you take the cake. You want me to be straight, fine! I do wanna make it up to you because you saved me. I feel less than the goddamn weapon Hydra wanted me to be because I forgot about you, that I thought I killed you and left you in that place. You saved my life Raven, you treated me like human being no matter how much trouble you got in, you made me remember Steve and my name. And the second I get another chance I can't open my stupid mouth and stick up for you… Not like your girlfriend who was ready to kill someone for giving you a little hassle."

She stiffly refuses to look at him. "You don't have to," was her soft reply.

"I want to."

He held her by her shoulders, unbeknownst that Tony had done the same hours ago. It shook her how gentle his metal arm was, unlike all the other organic ones that caused her pain. How Janos would clutch her wrist, tugging once, hard enough to pull her arm out it's socket when his temper arose. And here was Bucky, the ex-fist of Hydra holding her as preciously as Tony did.

"Do you get it now?" Bucky told her. "I'm gonna look out for you, the best I can."

Felix told her something similar when she was twelve. _As long as your with me, no one's going to hurt you. No one better than me_ _knows_ _what horrendous asshole_ _s_ _fathers can be. You can stay here as long as you like and whenever okay? I'll give you your own little wing. You can ride the horses and climb the trees. You can let here be home._ Raven missed him more than anyone, and Bucky split that wound open and sliced it down the middle.

"C'mon don't cry," he soothed taking her into his arms. "I gotcha kid. I gotcha."

It was the type of hug she hated most, face buried in chest, trapped with no way to swiftly run. But she getting used to it with these people. The reason she was crying was because Felix might be dead. Eun Gi was hopeful but she didn't know Rogelio Valquez, she never saw how tense it was between the two men. How Felix was ready to chose her over his own family, and sometimes he did. The possibility of never seeing him again felt too real with Bucky's speech, was the universe replacing him before she found out he was dead?

What about all her other friends, what would Janos and Rogelio do to them if they gave up on luring her into traps? It was all too much. Having her life uprooted, the roles of loved ones re-casted over and over. Raven felt like a rock trapped in a changing current being beat down from the waves slowly turning into a pebble. For the first time in months she wanted to go home, back to the way things were without this frightening new way of living.

* * *

 **Hello lovelies! I'm still maintaining my weekly update streak folks! And you're getting some more Bucky-Raven moments at last!**

 **As always read and review. Any feedback is welcomed and craved.**

 **Anotherscribe**


	29. Chapter 29

**Chapter 29**

"How are you feeling today Raven?" Dr. Manson asked.

The very next day Raven went to therapy, it felt like the right thing to do. Everyone was walking on eggshells around her, Eun Gi was trying not to act weird but she was. Oddly enough it felt like she should give everyone some space. Too bad she couldn't relax – like everyone was getting the chance to do. Raven had to talk about her feelings. Her cumbersome, messed up and twisted feelings.

"… Grounded." She had to lie down in the couch. It felt easier on her chest that constantly keeping her back straight. She was careful not to have her shoes touching the actual couch. One of the many polite rituals Janos had all but beat into her. "I feel grounded," she repeated.

"What do you mean by grounded?" Dr. Manson scribbled.

"Like myself I guess."

Raven can't outright say, I feel like I do most days, sinking because I'm depressed and realizing what a joke my life is. I feel like garbage because I made my girlfriend cry. I feel like a monster because everyone thinks I'm some damaged thing. I want to talk about myself honestly but I don't know how. I miss my friends.

Dr. Manson sensed her holding back. "You said you wanted to be more honest with me. Then let me ask you some word association questions, to break the ice. Okay, Raven?"

She nodded, bracing herself instinctively.

"Red?" Dr. Manson began.

Raven saw Tony's suit flash across her memory. In the next instant she remembered the color of one of her mother's dresses. The one she wore when they all went to the beach one Sunday, the way it rippled in the warm breeze. Her laughter and freckled arms as she waved from the shore.

"Blue," replied Raven.

"Up?"

She thought about her foster father lifting her up to sit on his shoulders. Her next thought was the sensation of when her heart failed for the first time, as she was climbing a tree. The way the air tore along her body as she hit the ground, hearing Janos's faint shout from the kitchen.

"Fall."

"Hot?"

The first thought she had when she the unknown chemical poured on her back. Her head was spinning from her head bouncing on the table. Oh this is hot, she thought, the millisecond before it began to eat through her shirt and then her skin.

"Burn."

"Home?" Dr. Manson asked a slightly more dubious question.

Her bed when she was four, the smell of her foster father's aftershave, her old school where she went to with Colin. Everything she held dear from the country she left behind.

"Dublin."

"Safety?"

Felix was always there when she needed a place to hide. His hands never hurt. Not even when he was furious with her, he never hit or grabbed her. He was always gentle, loving. No one had held her like that in years, not since her mother.

"Felix."

"Suffering."

The room Janos left her was like a cell, no windows or natural light. She was shackled to the bed, belly down left alone for hours, if not days. In Russia they tied her down only when they tortured her, face up. Other days she was left alone – so many days in the dark.

"Cell."

"Happiness?"

When she was little she was her happiest. Playing Pirates and Knights with Colin, Janos pushing her on a swing, having ice cream with her foster father.

"Children."

"Childhood?"

But she had been miserable underneath it all. Missing her mother, wondering why her Papa didn't love her, who was the man she really came from. She was bullied in school, her tragedy followed her like a brand of shame. No one cared that she lost her mother only that she was killed for sleeping with another man.

"Miserable."

"Girl?"

She was no hero but she couldn't turn her back on everyone. Sometimes things happened and she had a choice to help people or let them hang. The latter wasn't in her nature.

"Protect."

Dr. Manson looked genuinely puzzled while Raven kept her eyes to the ceiling. "Men?"

People wanted to control her, she learned that from Janos. She would have the world if she let herself be led. She would be destroyed from the inside out if she let them. Raven vowed never to let herself depend on any man who offered her solace. Studies did show that children without healthy paternal figures grew up to have violent and dependent relationships with older men. She refused to let some man she hadn't met also control and hurt her by his absence. If someone wanted her they had to catch her first.

"Run."

"Obey?"

She played this video game once, Alice Madness Returns. This line always stuck out to her, Authority must be obeyed or it must be overthrown. She liked that line, a lot. An oddly logical thing for the Queen of Hearts to say.

"Overthrow."

Dr. Manson mentally reviewed what stood out most to her. Tony had called ahead mentioning slightly what had happened the past few days. Typically agendas shouldn't be planned around minors, but Raven was a special case. "Who's Felix?" She asked.

"A friend," Raven said honestly. "My best friend. He looked out for me."

"In Hydra?"

"No, his family's just corrupt, but he's nice. He was sweet." She clutched at her necklace. When she first met Felix she imagined he was what people thought of when talking about princes. He had a welcoming handsomeness about him. She liked him on sight despite how much he was annoyed by her. "He's family."

"Did he know you were being abused?"

If Janos wasn't so dangerous she feared Felix would have killed him years ago. But some people you just couldn't kill. Not that Raven made it easy for him to protect her. But he always left the door open for her.

"When he found out, he let me stay with him. It was mostly safe…"

"What do you mean mostly safe?"

Raven's fists clench on top her stomach. She takes in a sharp breath. "Well, mercenaries and weirdos came in and out on the estate. One time someone tried to sneak into my room and Felix caught them. I don't remember much, I just heard a lot of noise. Screaming, fighting and then a gun shot. Whoever he was Felix shot him. I never saw who he was I only saw the blood on the terrace that I could see from my window. I was scared but I knew I was safe with him that he would never let anyone hurt me if he could help it."

Dr. Manson folded her hands across her crossed knees. "Someone attempted to molest you and your friend had him shot, just like that. Did you tell anyone about this?"

"Me and Felix know… Eun Gi – my girlfriend knows, a little but not everything."

Dr. Manson hadn't known about that development. Her surprise was apparent. "You're in relationship? Does Mr. Stark know?"

"She's back at the Tower. And before you ask yes, she's from Hydra, she's an assassin with slightly bigger daddy issues than me, an intense mum, a distant brother who likes me more than her and she's eighteen."

Raven wasn't in the mood to repeat this information over and over. But Eun Gi pleaded with her to unload on her therapist, even about the ugly things.

"And she was a part of a botched experiment to recreate the Winter Solider program. And I murdered her father right in front of her."

"What?" Dr. Manson gaped. There were one too many red flags in that statement for her to ignore. Raven braced herself for the inevitable lecture. "You killed her father in front of her, Raven you -"

Dr. Manson's whiplash didn't stop her in the slightest, she wanted this off her chest and flung at her feet to detangle. "I killed him because he was going to kill her. He broke her damn jaw because she tried to get him off me when I was rescuing her. I didn't have a choice – at least that's what Eun Gi always says."

The words come gushing out her Raven's mouth before she can filter them. It's been so long since she allowed herself to dwell on those horrible months.

"And because of that I drove her mother into a mental breakdown and made her brother try to kill himself. When I brought him to the hospital, Madame Lee showed up, she slapped me and called me a plague of death on her family. Like I brought out the worse of them." She lets out a big breath. "But we're good now, though."

Dr. Manson pauses, relaying all of this to herself while taking aggressive notes. At least she didn't lose the ability to write. When Felix heard everything he barely had the capacity to blink. "And you and Eun Gi are still in a relationship?"

"It happened after all the drama. I was ready to walk away but she… wanted to be with me, despite everything." She laughed at the memory. "Sometimes I secretly wonder if her father hadn't fried her brain to hell if she'd still love me. She says she would, that she always did. I always had a crush on her so it wasn't like she forced herself on me or something…"

"I think we need to extend our session today Raven." Are the only words Dr. Manson can immediately form. "Just an extra half hour."

Raven sighed, irritated, "You see why I don't like having honest therapy sessions. Too much shit to comb through."

She keeps her eyes toward the ceiling. For a moment she thinks of the time she was in Italy, wandering around the city hoping that when she came home Janos would be there. All the secret places she found, the historical buildings and churches. Oh, the churches were wondrous, borderline fantastical.

"Don't underestimate me Raven. Let's talk about Eun Gi and work our way back around to when you were nearly molested." When Raven didn't object, she continued. "Tell me about Eun Gi."

"Well, she was always outgoing but after the accident, she's more impulsive, she gets jealous fairly quickly, she's a party girl – tends to get out of hand sometimes. She loves photography, she takes amazing pictures. Behind her parents back we would have little photoshoots, she would make me pose and give me these weird directions. Think of a pretty sunset," she mimicked. "Think of a nice pair of shoes. She would also cake me face with makeup, lipstick, mascara, the whole works."

"How long have you two been together?"

"Since I was fourteen going on fifteen. So two years – she wants to count the time I was being tortured." Raven tugs at her jigsaw pendant. "No one at Hydra knew. Only that she had a massive crush on me. They kinda tried distracting me."

"Explain."

"I got set up on a blind date when I was thirteen, Eun Gi didn't speak to me for a week until Felix told her I was set up. Nasty business it was. Nowadays if she thinks someone is trying to cozy up to me she takes it out on them. There was this business man who tried schmoozing me and his Jaguar ended up off a ledge."

"She's violent." There was a slight tone of disapproval in her voice.

"Not with me," Raven muttered, displeased with her misjudging Eun Gi. Was everyone pretending Raven herself wasn't violent? "She doesn't try to pressure me into stuff I don't want to do, or anything like that. She's actually really nice, she's always there when I'm low or disassociating, and if I ever lose me head she's right there. But everyone always focuses on the bad stuff," she grumbled. "Everyone likes to say she encourages me to misbehave, and I let her go off the handle."

"What does, go off the handle, mean?"

"Uhhh, one time she got pissing drunk and started dancing on tables and stuff. I ended up bottling a bloke trying to feel her up, and we sorta stole his car to get away from his friends."

"… Does this happen often?"

"It was just how she coped with her dad trying to turn her into a meta-human assassin. Her mum refused to acknowledge it for months and drove Eun Gi and Kyung Gi bonkers. I couldn't turn my back on them for two seconds without hearing about some shite going down." Raven folded her arms. "And Auntie Lee got miffed with me for their behavior. It wasn't my fault she married a psychopath."

"It sounds like you tend to look after everyone."

"Well someone has to, or we'll all be screwed. I was juggling so much crap along with their family drama, I was losing me head."

"What else were you juggling?"

Here it was put up or shut up. If she wanted to get better she would have to tell the truth, the whole truth. Raven sucked in a big gulp of air, bracing herself. "I made people disappear."

Dr. Manson stared at Raven, unsure of how to take that statement. "Why did they have to disappear?"

"They did something horrible… I had to stop them, before they hurt more people – children."

"Raven?" pressed worriedly.

"They were using them for experiments, caging them, dissecting them, doing things that drive adults insane. I had to stop them, no one else would do it. No one wanted to try, so I had to do it." She rubbed her arms fretfully. "Everyone wanted me to make it all go away. Bury it and move on, but I couldn't." Her voice shook and shrunk, and her eyes welled up with tears. "It might have been humane. Tactically sound but I couldn't. I," she sniffled overwhelmed with the feelings she pushed down for so long. "I didn't want to be like them."

Dr. Manson handed her a box of tissues. Raven took several and blew her nose. "Raven, tell me what you did."

"After what happened to Eun Gi, I went looking for anyone who was still interested in the Winter Soldier program, and I found something. There was this base, in Kazakhstan, a lesser one left behind from the Soviet era. Hellish place, cold as bollocks, poorly lit, dilapidated. I read about it in file from a man I killed. I stole everything dealing with Soviet and North Korean overall corruption and violation of human rights. This base came up a lot, but I knew it was no longer in use because I would have heard of it before. I went there because figuring I would have found some discarded papers at the most. After all, Pol Pot had his guerillas document every person they tortured and killed in Cambodia, maybe I would be so lucky – that feels like the wrong word to use."

"What did you find?" Dr. Manson had momentarily stopped taking notes.

"It was in use, technically." Her body curled into a fetal position despite the pain the angle created for her bruised chest. "Three people managed this shell of a place, and I came in to find them wrangling with someone. Who was shaking the place apart. I went in by myself not thinking someone else would be there. It ended up being smart."

"Who were they fighting with?"

"Not fighting, wrestling… It was girl. They were trying to get her to lie still. I think they were prepping her for surgery. She was too small for the restraints and two of them were trying to hold her down, so the other could inject her with something. But they couldn't get close to her. She was screaming at the top of her lungs, and the screams seemed to shake the whole base. They hadn't seen me watching from an observatory deck, but I did see when one of them pulled out a gun. I didn't know if they were going to wound her to put her into shock or kill her out of impatience. But I shot first, and killed two of them. When they fell, the girl stopped screaming and the other man ran, I shot him in the spine before I lost him."

"What were they going to do to her? The little girl?"

"Glorified dissection…" She curtly replied before returning to her story. "I had no clue if she might kill me out of fear or survival. She just said, in Russian, a really weird Russian, crying, don't hurt me. I'll be better I promise. Over and over."

"What else happened?"

* * *

Raven stared down at the child writhing on the rusting operating table, this a bit too Silent Hill for her. She heard about this place being a part of the Red Room regime, but most of those places disbanded shortly after the Soviet Union feel apart. Well, not quite. One of the Avengers, Natasha Romanoff, was the most well known graduate of the Red Room – by the US government anyways. Raven knew two survivors, and one den mother. But this was different, this was some Winter Soldier level experimentation. She made her way down from the upstairs observatory to the operating table. The little girl had a mask on, like a helmet. Hearing the shots and the lack of weight on her didn't persuade her to move or even run. In Russian, an odd type of Russian she murmured,

" **Please don't hurt me. I'll be better I promise,"** over and over, occasionally hiccuping between syllables.

She was a test subject, Raven realized. They were trying to put her under. And now that she stopped panicking, the room had stopped quaking. She had caused that. Was she some enhanced human, or something else? Raven had found papers talking about people who were born with powers; mutants. With the way the world was nowadays, she was inclined to believe anything with a pinch of salt. This girl was going to be a weapon. She could be faking her crying right this second. The girls in the Red Room were like that. Logically she could kill her, she had a gun, it would be merciful almost kind. Who knows what they did to her and didn't she say that her life would be better off if someone had put her down? If she truly believed that, this should be nothing. She should be able to do this.

Gun raised, already cocked all she had to do was pull the trigger, right in her exposed neck. It would be fast, instant numbness before permanent darkness in minutes. But Raven's hand shook, trembling, as she thought about herself in this girl's shoes. Afraid, tied down and alone, crying out for someone – anyone to help her. Killing her would be the Hydra way and dammit was she ever going to do things like them.

" **I won't hurt you,"** she told her in her clearest and slowest Russian. **"Do you understand me?"**

" **Yes… Please, I'm scared. I'll be good. I'll be good."**

" **I'm going to untie you. Since I won't hurt you, you don't hurt me. Deal?"**

" **I'll be good. I'll be good."** She repeated those words feverishly to the point of blubbering.

" **I believe you, I believe you."** Raven told her for each repetition, until they were whispering echoes in the empty place.

It was nothing to untie her, but the helmet was worse. It seemed clamped down around her skull. The only reasonable way to open it seemed like cracking it like a nut but, that might hurt her and spark and instinctive out lash. "Jesus, Mary and Joseph," she muttered to herself.

" **Don't…"** One of the man rasped on the ground, the one she shot in the back. **"You can't control her… That's why we froze her. She needs to be contained… tamed… You release her, she'll kill you."**

The girl didn't seem to hear him, too shaken at the stranger fumbling around helmet. Raven held her hand and made him hold onto the table. **"Stay here. I need to find something to take it off. I'll be right back, okay? If you're scared you can come with me and hold onto me."**

" **Don't go…"** She whimpered.

" **Alright, alright**. We gotta do this the hard way." Taking her clammy hand she had her trot along behind her. Raven went to the man, kicking him lightly in the side. "Go on, you must know some English."

" **You heard me… You'll be damning us all… What are you eh? Some junior Shield agent? You think you can… save her? She's a weapon. The next fist of Hydra, the new world."**

"How cute," grumbled Raven. "And what do you mean by froze her? What era is she from? Don't bother lying, because I'm gonna find out. It would be in your best interest to get on my good side while I can still save your life."

The scientist chuckled, sweating bullets from the trauma of his unattended wound. "You? Who are you to save me?"

Raven glanced at her wrist watch. "You're wasting my time." She pulled out her gun, cocking it. "What were you about to do to her?"

The man tensed, weighing his options. "What… they did in Sokovia…"

They were going to harvest the source of her power and make more enhanced humans. Winter Soldiers with more than super strength. "You bastards…"

"She has no life… why care?"

"I care!" And Raven shot him once, in the skull. The little girl yelped at the sound, clutching her head tightly. "Hey." She turned around, kneeling in front her. **"Hey, hey, hey, it's okay. The bad men are gone. No one is going to hurt you. I'm going to protect you… My name's Raven. Do you have a name?"**

"Raye-veh-en?"

" **Like the bird.** Vorron," she annunciated.

"Vorron?" She repeated.

" **Yes, like the black bird. But in English it's Raven. Can you say it?"** Since she was distracted she could try something a little risky. Like prying her helmut open with her butterfly knife. As she put it into place she said, **"You never told me your name."**

" **Ilya…"**

Raven twisted the blade, the girl gripped her blindly for balance. **"That's a pretty name,"** she grunted. **"I wish I had a pretty name like that."**

" **Birds are pretty…"**

" **Yes but most people don't like ravens. People like bluejays, robins, sparrows, even squawky parrots but not ravens."** She felt it spacing apart, this just might work. **"Hold the sides of the helmut. I think it's going to come off. This is gonna feel weird, close your eyes okay? So you don't hurt your eyes."**

" **Will it hurt?"**

" **No. Of course not. It'll just feel weird, and annoying."**

" **I don't understand."**

" **You will. Hold on… One. Two. Three… And - !"** The helmut made a hollow, splitting open at the sides. **"Ta da!"**

" **Oooo…"** The girl's hands went limp as the weight of the helmut was too sudden it fell to the ground, split open like a morbid shell. Slowly she blinked open her eyes, wincing at exposure to light. Upon seeing Raven, she was taken back at her youth and her healing facial scar. "Vorron," she said, awestruck.

She was too little for any advance Red Room girl, most of them were at least eighteen when they graduated. She seemed barely old enough for sparring practice – that often ended in death, if so old. She didn't look like the stereotypical Red Room girl, the pale Russian type, wraith-like and the picture of pseudo-innocence. Ilya had narrow eyes, a shaved head, round face, a teddy bear in a hospital gown. She stared up at her, mouth open and breathing nosily, wondering what's going to happen next. Raven herself was unsure of what to do, she didn't kill her, so now she was responsible for her. The gravity of that was now sinking it, she made herself a guardian to this girl with powers.

"Hello." She smiled her brightest. **"Does that feel better?"**

Ilya nodded. **"Are you going to give me a mission?"**

Oh boy, Raven thought. Not this shit again. **"Not technically. Let's concentrate on getting out of here and getting something to eat. We can talk, and I'll answer whatever questions you have."**

" **We're leaving. Right now?"**

" **Do you see anyone here to stop me? Or do you want to stay here for a bit?"**

Ilya blinked, startled at the polite accommodating. Testing the waters she said, **"Stay… a little."**

" **Okay,"** Raven said. **"We'll stay for a bit, walk around, chat and then we go somewhere warmer? Deal?"**

" **Are you going to put me in a dark room, later?"**

" **No."**

" **Am I going to do tests?"**

" **Not the tests you did before, no."**

" **Are you Hydra?"**

" **Yes, but I'm different."**

" **Good different?"**

" **For you? Yes. For the bad men, no."**

Ilya reached shyly taking Raven's gloved hand. Without a word of where they were going to the two girls walked around the deserted base. She smiled down at her again, and Ilya uncertainly returned it. It was a fake smile, one she knew well.

" **You don't have to smile if you don't want to. You won't be punished okay?"**

" **Then… I don't want to."**

" **Then don't. Do you want me to carry you? You look tired."**

"… **Okay."**

Raven scoped her up, balancing her on her hip. **"There we go. Better?"** Ilya nodded. **"You can tell me whatever you want. I won't be angry with you, I'm not like the people you normally know. Are you scared?"**

" **Yes…"**

" **It's okay to be scared. I'm a little scared too. I wasn't expecting to meet you."**

" **Is that okay?"**

" **Sure!"** Raven exclaimed. **"** **Surprises are good for you. Keeps you on your toes. Life's no fun if you can predict everything."**

* * *

Dr. Manson's face was unreadable. This was the last thing she expected to hear. Tales of abuse, experiences of horror and episodes of self-loathing, but never this. She took a deep breath, leaned back into her chair. There was this stiff silence that Raven felt compelled to fill.

"Ilya's a sweet girl, quiet but she's a dear. She loves Star Wars, likes to pretend she's a Jedi. The last one that came out really spoke to her, she likes to say that she's Rey and I'm Leia. She was born in the eighties, but it might as well be the fifties, she had no clue about anything. Cartoons fascinate her, seeing kids go on adventures while maintaining some degree of innocence. I bought her a DS for her birthday, she has to wear reading glasses because the light is intense but she loves it. The Wii is her next favorite thing, we can play Mario games for hours. I tried teaching her to skateboard, but she prefers rollerblades. The thought of balancing on a board freaks her out, but she likes watching me board dance."

Raven folded her hands in her stomach. "I sent her away to stay with a friend of mine before I went to Russia. I promised her I would be back. I did my best to forget about her in case I got brainwashed by Hydra and babbled about her. She cried when I left, she thought I was abandoning her. I told her it was to keep her safe, she understood, but she was angry. I told her she was allowed to hate me a little because I upset her…"

* * *

Raven wants to do nothing more than lie down after her grueling therapy session. Heading downstairs to the lobby, she expects to see Tony there. Grinning like she didn't confess to several murders and harboring a human experiment from Hydra's glory days. His optimism was contagious at times, somedays she genuinely believed everything was going to be okay. Then sessions like today happened and she was reminded at the long climb before her.

"What the bloody hell?" Raven had come down to the lobby expecting to see Tony waiting for her. Instead she saw Bucky, his metal arm covered, Eun Gi pouting while on her phone, and the source of her exclamation, Steve Rogers. The three all looked at her and she genuinely considered going back upstairs. Surely there was something else she could pull out of the depths of her mind to scare Dr. Manson.

Bucky saw where Raven's gaze stayed. "Stark can't make it. He said we could -"

"I wanted to pick you up and Iron Old Man said to let Idiot Number One come along," Eun Gi summarized, gesturing to Bucky. "But then this guy wanted to come too." Her eyes rolled scornfully at Steve.

Raven groaned, rubbing her tender face. This was not what she needed after what she talked about upstairs. Eun Gi shot her a sympathetic look. "You were up there long."

"Doesn't matter," she grumbled.

Eun Gi was no doubt more upset about their chaperones than she was. Before she left for therapy she hinted at an anniversary date. That they were finally going to get their girlfriend rings. Now they had two babysitters. No one had supervised them since they were both twelve. It felt like they were being watched, not safeguarded.

" **Well I don't want to go back to the Tower,"** Eun Gi declared in Korean. **"Do you?"**

Raven shook her head. Might as well try to have fun somehow. "So what now then?" Raven grumbled to the two super soldiers. "We wanted to drive around for a bit. Get out the Tower for a bit."

Steve bravely replied, "Tony said to make sure you take it easy."

Both girls regarded him as he though spoke complete nonsense. "Jesus what do you think we want to do?" Raven remarked.

Eun Gi shook her head. "Let's get something to eat." She got up and Raven got an eyeful of what probably inspired Tony to request two escorts. Dressed in a backless romper, showing off her mile long legs, platform sandals putting her nearly level with their babysitters. Her red lips painted on with the precision of an oil painting. Raven bit back a smirk as she followed Eun Gi. Maybe it was a good thing that Tony didn't come after all.

"You're not allowed to drive!" Bucky called to Eun Gi.

" **I bet that's not all you're not allowed to do,"** snarked Raven.

* * *

 **Sorry for the delay guys, I was sick and couldn't bring myself the edit this beast of a chapter. To be honest I think I'm going to do updates every two weeks so I can take my time and edit. So what do you guys think about the all the dirty secrets slowly coming out about Raven's life at/in Hydra? Want more details, do you have any predictions/guesses?**

 **Please let me know and as always review, review, review, hearing from you guys really brightens my day and lets me know how to improve the story.**

 **Anotherscribe.**


	30. Chapter 30

**Chapter 30**

So maybe Tony was taking a risk with trusting Eun Gi to pick Raven and not get into trouble. But honestly he was doing it for Raven. Although he did let Barnes and Steve chaperon them, he wasn't that naive. Raven was starting to taking her health – mental and physical, more seriously. Call it a reward for taking it like a champ. Parents used positive reinforcements to encourage good habits all the time. Although using their girlfriend as a treat felt like something his old man might do. Ugh, he did not want to think of what his dad might say about parenting Raven.

Parenting a neurotic genius is a nightmare, Tony decided as he tinkered with Friday. Raven's little hacking stunt showed him plenty of areas he could improve in with his security. Steve will be awfully pleased about that. He wasn't in hot pursuit of Raven's secrets anymore but there was a lot of trust to build over this crevice he made. He wasn't going to push it since Bucky was already building a bridge between the two reckless rebels. Barnes had his uses, Tony gave him that.

"Sir?" Friday interrupted. "There's someone in the lobby on the ground floor. He's asking for Raven." Friday stopped calling Raven, Miss, after the hacking incident. Raven barely noticed but everyone else did. Another relationship to be fixed. "He says his name is Felix -"

"Felix? Raven's Felix?" He exclaimed. He damn near dropped his tools. "Is he alone?"

"As far as I could tell. He seems… distraught."

Tony let out a whistling breath. "I bet." He was about to greet the most important person in Raven's life, possibly more important than Eun Gi or her handler. This kid gave Raven shelter, protected her from Janos her hellish keeper, and was her family. If he messed this up Raven might kill him. "Let him in."

"Sir?"

"If Raven finds him out there she'll introduce me to her Irish temper. No one wants an Irish girl angry, nobody." He said again, "Let him up."

Thank god no one was here to criticize him about letting in a Hydra affiliate into their Tower. He can vaguely hear Steve wanting to strangle him from his right shoulder. If he wanted to ask things of Raven, her secrets and transparency, it was his duty as a parent to trust her a little and show his own hand. Still made him nervous, exposing himself to a man that could be here to kill him and betray Raven. The elevator door opened just as Tony came down.

There was an awkward pause as they studied each other.

Felix was a kid, yet he wasn't. He was much older than Raven and Eun Gi. Probably as old as Steve when he came out the ice; boyishly mature. But he looked so tired. From what Raven described Tony guessed he wasn't a lover of messy hair, an unshaven face and dark circles under eyes. He was on the short side but carried himself with certainty. Not even this state of dishevelment dampened the appeal of his dull olive skin, warm eyes and short jet black hair. There was welcoming air to him. Tony could imagine a little Raven trusting him on sight.

"It's Felix right?" He greeted once they were a mere foot from each other.

"Yeah," he nodded with a thick Spanish accent. "So… you're him?" He looked him up and down, and began to softly laugh. "It makes sense… It makes perfect sense."

Tony glances at his person self-consciously. "What does?"

"You… her… Why she always has to do the right thing, even if it gets her killed… Why she's a pain in my ass…" He rubs his face, overcome with this situation. Just looking at Tony physically effects him. "You two even look alike… And she's a genius…"

Tony puts his hands in his pockets unsure of what to say to comfort him. This man thought Raven was dead, had a funeral for her. Only to find out less than a month ago that his father was torturing her. She broke free from Hydra and that she was his daughter. It was a lot to take in. Tony needed months just to accept he had a daughter and was still getting used to her being a high profile Hydra operative. To Felix, Raven had died, come back to life and became the daughter of an Avenger.

"God," Felix sniffed loudly. "You even do that thing…"

"What thing?" Could he somehow tell he was trying to not fidget with her fingers like Raven does?

"That thing!" He shouted. "With your eyes. That look she gives me…" He takes a deep breath, shaking. "I'm sorry, I just – It's been barely two weeks, since I heard. And now I hear about you, and it all makes sense."

Tony reaches out and squeezes his shoulder. "Look, she's not here, she's at therapy. You want a drink while you wait?"

Felix cracks up. "Therapy? You got her to go to a therapist, that she likes?" He chuckles nodding, "Yeah, just not whiskey, She hates the smell of it. Reminds her of her mother's boyfriend. If you drink something that smells sweet she doesn't mind."

"Yeah?" Tony escorts him to the bar, hands him a beer from the mini fridge as he sits. "I'll keep that in mind."

Felix takes several gulps of the beer, grimacing. "This tastes like piss, but thanks." He takes another. "How is she? Is she eating okay, sleeping?"

His frightened quiver makes Tony wrap a hand around his shoulder. His own father was never so affectionate for him but Tony senses that Felix needs it more than anything. "She was hurt, still is but she's doing great. All the stuff they were giving her is out of her system and I got a doctor giving her complete body checkups. She sleeps in most days and eats all the time. She's put on three pounds, one for every month. She's practically a cat." He chuckles at his joke, especially when Felix smiles into his bottle near to tears with relief. "She's pretty bored most of the time."

"I tried to stop her from taking so many of those pills," Felix explained. "I saw what they were doing to her but I had no clue what to do. So I told her it was okay to skip a few doses… I made it worse didn't I? That's what they said. That by messing with how many she took, everything went wrong."

No wonder the kid was a wreck, they told him it was his fault. Tony held him steady as Felix hung his head. They were all trying to protect her the best way they could and everyone pointed fingers at them when Raven vanished. Cruel wasn't close to the word Tony wanted to use. Here were these kids trying to do the right thing and then being shamed for it. All those months of thinking they killed their best friend only to find out it was worse than that. Eun Gi's ravenous protectiveness wasn't so unnerving anymore.

"Hey, I'm going to stop you right there. That was the best advice you could have given Raven. Those pills were killing her, Hydra wanted her dead or a zombie. Listen, you saved her. Because let me tell you something, the only reason she keeps fighting is because she's got people to fight for. She told me a lot about you, I think you're her favorite person in the world."

This Tony wholly believed. He saw how Raven's face lit up when she talked about Felix, the sadness in her eyes when she thought about having hurt him. She loved this man more than anyone in the whole cosmos.

"I know," Felix said sadly. "The first sign of trouble she always runs to me. You're the only family I have, she tells me. I don't know what I'd do without you. I love you more than anything." A tear falls down his face. "And I let her down. I should have known she wouldn't have died in a lab accident. She's practically fire proof. I just thought… That this is the time her luck ran out, end of the line… I should have looked for her, body or not."

"They had a fake body? Seriously?"

"With a fake necklace too," Felix spat. "It even had her scars, all of them. Even the one she had on her wrist when she fell out of a tree when she was eight. And the ones she's got on her fingers from playing with knives. She likes to juggle things. I taught her how, she caught me doing it and begged me to teach her. Cut up her hands until she got it right." His voice shook. "What was I supposed to think? I did the right thing and buried her next to her mother. I tried to do right by her." He looked at Tony and quickly turned away. "Jesus, look at me. I'm still talking about her like she's dead."

"Let it out," Tony encouraged. "C'mon man, no judgement."

"I tried to look out for her," he told Tony. "I really did. I mean, I didn't have to but what was I supposed to do? Leave her on her own with all those monsters around her?"

"How old were you when you met Raven?" Tony wondered, genuinely curious.

"I was seventeen. Did she tell you how much I hated her?" He chuckled. "Seventeen years old and I gotta watch this weird little kid who knew all these languages, but no Spanish. And no matter what I couldn't shake her. I got so mad I played a trick on her. I told her let's play football outside and she would be the goalie. All she had to do was block the ball."

Tony was already laughing. "You tried to hit her with the ball didn't you?"

"I get her right in the face. I wasn't trying to hit her," he chortled. "I swear man, but I really did hit her. Her head bounces and she hits the grass hard. I think oh shit she's going to start crying and I'm going to be in trouble. But she sits up, like this." He mimics a dazed, wide eyed look, head swaying like a bobble head. "And she says, I didn't get it. I dislocated her nose, and she didn't care. All she wanted to do was play with someone." His laughter dies down. "She loves sports, you know? Janos always hated it when it was summer time, all Raven wants to do is go outside and run around. Playing football with the boys. Playing basketball in the evening and she loves to watch rugby. I took her to bar once and she nearly got into a fight with this guy on another team."

"Yeah?" Tony leaned in enraptured with this new information. "She's into sports?"

"Loves it man." Felix stares at Tony once more, awestruck at their similarities. "You really look like her, around the eyes. You even sound like her a little."

"Really?"

"You see that face you made? She does that too. Jesus man, you really don't see it?"

"Actually," Tony confessed. "I always thought she acted more like Steve – uh, Captain America."

"Bullshit," dismissed Felix. But he saw Tony was serious. "No," he exclaimed in glee. "Really, the poster boy of righteousness and justice?"

Hydra probably did see Steve as their most despised enemy. Having killed their original leader and all that. Captain America was their anti-christ and Raven was everything like him. The analogy tickled Tony to death.

"Same recklessness, always gotta be right, burning the world to protect the people they care about, sticking it to the man. Oh yeah, she's Steve wrapped with an Irish temper."

"She does have a nasty temper. She was trying out yoga to calm it down," he added. "I don't think it worked," Felix grinned.

"She does reel it in, after she yells or says something …"

"Crude?" Offered Felix. "Oh yeah, she lets you have it then she takes this big breath. She makes the best face when she does this, and then calms down."

"She does do that!" Tony agreed. "She did that yesterday! Is that what it was?"

"It's that or she breaks something." Felix smiled at the memory. "She was taking to someone I can't remember who, and they said something and she just – knocked something off the table. Like a cat," he laughed with Tony. "Now that you said that, I can't stop seeing her as an annoying black cat."

"Me either." Their laughter slowly died down. It went back to the more serious topic at hand. "Aren't you going to be trouble, by coming here?"

"I already am. My father… He died three days ago. The same day he sent people after Raven. It was her handler, Janos, who did it. Came into his safe house and murdered him, slowly. Raven would have wanted me to stay behind and take care of business, but I couldn't leave her another day. I don't care what anybody says, that little girl is my family. I love her more than anything." Felix rubs his nose. "I should be sad. I would be, if I didn't hear from his own mouth what they did to Raven, what they wanted to do. If Janos hadn't killed him I would have strangled him myself."

Raven's handler killed Felix's father, Rogelio, Raven had said his name was. Tony had no clue how to feel about this. There was a story there which Raven hadn't told. Was this some bizarre family dynamic, controlling father versus the evil uncle? Either way Felix was more focused on the fact Janos killed his father than said parent being murdered. And it was a dozy of a fact. If Janos wanted Raven in Hydra, with him, why kill someone who could have made that happen? Maybe it was an elaborate scheme to get Raven on his side again, make her question her newfound security. No wonder Raven's so inherently paranoid.

"What's he like, Janos?" The name sounds irreverent on Tony's lips, compared to Raven and Felix who said it like he was some reviled demon. He wanted to learn more.

"You heard what he did to Raven's back?"

Tony nodded.

"She told you how he abandoned her in Italy?"

"She did."

"And you know he's the reason Raven's in Hydra. The one who took her by the hand and brought her into hell?"

Another nod.

"Then what the - else you wanna know?" He barked. Every second on the topic makes him furiouser and furiouser like an over flowing pot. "He likes twisting Raven around to be what he wants. She fights back and he makes her wish she didn't. What else is there to know?"

"You know it's more than that." Tony can sense the hate vibrating off Felix, it had to be more than these three isolated incidents. He had a list of things Howard did to him and nothing compared to the crumbs of information Raven dropped. "She -"

"She what? She hasn't killed him yet? She won't let anyone kill him? You think I don't know that?" Bellowed Felix. "Did Raven tell you that he's the reason she ended up in that bunker? He could have stepped up and stopped it, but no, he wanted to scare her straight. Knowing damn well Raven would sooner let her someone break their foot in her back before she bows to any of those old bastards! He knows she would die before surrendering, about anything. He let them try to brainwash her like that Winter Soldier and when she didn't roll over for him he let them do their worse!" His hand circled around his beer bottle threatening to break it. "My father told me everything… How they beat her, starved her, tortured her, that stupid girl…" He covered his face breathing loudly into his palms, then rubbing them hotly together. "He knows better than anyone how she is… And he let it get that far. He was going to let them cut out her brain and make her the next Arnim Zola."

"Wait – Arnim Zola? The guy who's brain they saved into a super computer. The Nazi scientist?"

Felix chuckled darkly. "The one thing they knew she's afraid of. Being made a literal tool." He rambled incessantly now. "They were going to cut her brain out and burn out parts of her memory. Like a with a cigarette." With his finger and using the coaster as an example, he made sizzling noises on varying corners. "She wasn't going to be anything but a robot, they weren't going to let her remember anything about her life. Only her name and what she learned in Hydra. Nothing else. They had a whole file about how they were going to do it. Tested it on people so it would go perfectly well…"

That didn't make sense the way Felix said it. If Raven knew all of this she would have stabbed Janos the minute she saw him. And when she came home she told him, in private, she wasn't okay but she will be. Was the torture so bad she repressed it, and only when she was shocked did she remember it? Which meant that Raven was only now remembering what she should have been healing from all this time.

"Uhhh," Tony cautiously interrupted. "I'm pretty sure she only just remembered what they did to her since yesterday. She was really hurt and had a mild concussion when Shield found her."

Felix's empty beer bottle falls onto the counter with a clank. He blinks slowly, grimacing subtly muttering something in Spanish. He then clears this throat. "Eun Gi's here right? A crazy Korean girl?"

Without thinking Tony blurts out, "She went to pick her up from therapy. They're probably off on a date making puppy eyes at one another."

And immediately his mistake is apparent. Felix is knocked back, his melancholy is quickly replaced with shock. "What? A date? They… they… They can't!"

"Woah, woah, I know Eun Gi is bit intense but from what I saw she and Raven are weirdly… docile together and -"

"No!" Felix shouted. "You don't understand! Eun Gi might be ready to kill for Raven but she's still an eighteen year girl who's nearly as unstable of Raven." He takes another shaky breath and Tony sees why the girls found his concern hilarious at times. But that feeling didn't last very long. "Those girls shouldn't be doing anything together. It's a time bomb.

God forgive me, Raven wouldn't want me to tell you this, but you need to know." Felix turned to face him. "You know the story about Eun Gi almost becoming the next Winter Soldier? Good. Well let me ask you this, who do you think could get a trained child assassin into a lab and successfully subdue them? Someone they trust right, and who do little girls trust more than anyone?"

Tony had an answer but – no way. No way. Raven said she killed someone, yes but there is no way in hell Eun Gi would even – but she never liked her father. Then again neither did he.

"No…"

"Raven killed Eun Gi's father and made his whole division disappear. Anyone who might look into his death got taken out." He grabbed his empty bottle longing for another beer. "She had no choice, those girls would have died if Raven hadn't killed him and it haunted her. Taking a man's life in front his youngest child."

"She was there?"

"Crawled over her father to hold Raven in her arms until help came. Didn't say a word for a week unless it was, Raven. It all she said, Raven, Raven, Raven, like a broken record. As you can imagine his wife, Madame Lee, hated Raven for what she did but thanked her for saving Eun Gi. In her own way I guess.

The Shin family fell apart because of what Operative Shin tried to do to Eun Gi, and what he left behind. Raven might have kept them together but Eun Gi should know better!" Hissed Felix. "Raven might be a genius but she's a baby, who's been slapped around her whole life. I asked her to step back from Raven, and she swore that she would." He slammed a fist on the table. "She lied to me that little -!"

"So you're telling me," Tony relayed. "Not only did Raven kill Eun Gi's father, who we agree deserved it, everyone was against those two getting together? Everyone?"

"We didn't want to separate them," Felix tried to explain. "We just wanted it to stop before it got too far. I knew Raven wouldn't have approached Eun Gi, she's like that but Eun Gi, especially after what they did to her brain – she takes what she wants."

"So… in theory she could have had a crush on Raven before this and now it's, intense, for a lack of a better word. So intense, it might be bad for Raven?" This whole topic had Tony trembling with emotions. Everything was in hyper drive for Eun Gi, cranked up on an amplifier. Whereas Bucky had been beaten into obedience, Eun Gi was let off her lease, frothing at the jowls. Which would be bad for Raven who needed patience and delicacy sometimes. And he could only imagine what Eun Gi's family thought; their daughter goo-goo eyed over the girl that murdered one of their family members. But they were so cozy with one another, despite all these ugly things. Tony wouldn't have never guessed their odd romance was their biggest secret.

"Raven needs someone to pull her back." Felix was earnestly struggling to make Tony understand. "You know that it's a miracle Raven can love anyone with the way she grew up. You know. By the book she should be a manipulative sociopath hurting people left and right because she can. Instead she's sweet, a little shy, loves animals and kids -"

"Wait, Raven likes kids? Like babies?" Tony exclaimed.

Felix smiled genuinely that Tony found this so ludicrous. "She's great with kids. No matter what age, she loves them and they love her… She actually wants to be a mother someday. She ever tell you that?"

Tony shook his head dumbfounded.

"She'd be a great mom. You need to see it for yourself, the way she plays with kids man, it's amazing. I know so many people who can't even look at their kids, and Raven? She loves them to death. We got a friend who has a kid, he calls Raven, Auntie. He runs for her every time he sees her screaming, tia, tia, tia."

Tony was stunned, he would have never pictured Raven as the maternal type. Shouldn't a lack of a mother make her apprehensive about the whole thing? God knows his family issues had him questioning his capabilities to parent Raven, and she was sixteen. Old enough to be sympathetic to his difficulties and who was arguably more of an adult than him. But Felix was talking about little kids, impressionable things and babies. Ages where you had to be gentle and instinctive. And she wanted a be a mom someday, that just made him sad. She wants a family. That's what Raven wants more than anything in the world; to love and be loved.

"Oh wow…" He said tightly. "I need a drink…" Without asking he starts to pour himself a stronger drink. He'll grab some mouthwash before Raven comes home.

"Yeah," Felix nodded, smiling ruefully. "I know the feeling. She's amazing you know? All that hurt, all those scars and she's still the sweetest thing in the world. She didn't tell you about Ilya did she? Nah, of course she didn't. Raven would call that bragging," he chuckled.

"Who's Ilya?"

Felix pulled out his phone, swiping for a picture of a little girl. She had her arms flung around Raven – a smiling Raven with a page boy haircut. If the version of her with Eun Gi was jarring, but this was mind blowing. She looked so happy, face frozen in an opened mouth squeal, holding the girl tight. A little girl with short hair, practically buzzed, in flowery dress. She had chubby cheeks, red from laughing, narrow eyes that were crescent moons from her elated laughter.

"That's Ilya, she was a human test subject Hydra put on ice thirty years ago. In one of Russia's Soviet countries, I forget the name of the country. It's somewhere squashed between Russia and Asia. Anyways, when Raven was taking out Operative Shin's list of associates, we found Ilya, she was about to euthanized and have her brain harvested. Raven found her and killed scientists, and convinced the little girl to come with us. She was six years old and spoke mostly Russian."

"You said test subject…"

"Raven uses another word," Felix grumbled. "Genetic mutant. She wasn't given her powers, she was born with them." He added, "She moves things with her mind. And I don't mean like your friend with the red stuff coming out her hands. You can't see it, but you feel it, like a chill down your spine. They found her in some place called… The Red Room."

The cover of his chalice slips from his hands falling noisily back onto the bottle. "Oh no… They weren't going to make… They wouldn't…" Tony now sees why Raven doesn't trust anyone. Why she can't depend on Shield to fully protect her, they had no clue how deep Hydra's web went. But that leaves another question. "What is her and Raven's relationship?"

"Honestly… They just speak the same weird-damaged-kid language. Because that kid is scary, when she gets scared or angry, the place shakes and she puts cracks in the wall. But Raven refused to put in her in a special room. She said, we'll be no better than Hydra if we do that. So she helped her control it, they would play little games, using her powers and talk for hours. Ilya and Raven would go on bike rides, they would come back with candy and toys, sometimes with matching flower crowns." He chuckled at the memory.

"She always knew how to make her happy. And when Raven died, we couldn't let her come to the funeral. When she heard, she screamed so much a door flew off the hinges and hit Kyung Gi. She destroyed a whole floor, screaming, she said she would come back. She said she would come back. None of us could make it better like Raven would."

Tony picked up the phone staring at Ilya. Raven had saved this girl from everything she had suffered, with a single action she broke a repeating cycle. Instead of dying or being dissected Ilya was riding a bike, playing outside, all the things Raven used to do. It was so much more powerful than what they did. Yes they saved thousands and millions of lives, but they hadn't individually touched a single life to the point of altering their destiny. Raven had saved this girl's life. And wasn't that what they wanted to come from her therapy? For her to have a good future, and avoid cycles of abuse. She did it. She stopped her story from repeating with a new name. It was amazing, it was beyond comprehension. Hydra hadn't won, Raven won the moment she saved Eun Gi and again with Ilya. She was the real superhero, helping the little guys with a heart big enough to get the job done.

A broad smile cracked across Tony's face. "A regular chip off the ol' block, isn't she?"

"Yeah," Felix scoffed with no malice. "Thanks for that. You owe me a lifetime supply of beer – good beer."

They laughed over the ridiculousness that was Raven. The seemingly broken girl with the biggest heart in the whole galaxy.

* * *

 **Hello lovelies, so we have finally met Felix. What do you think of him? And we get a deeper insight into Raven's past, as well as one of her darker secrets. What else will we find out about Raven? Any thoughts, queries?**

 **Let me know and review, review, review, feedback really brightens my day.**

 **Anotherscribe**


	31. Chapter 31

**Chapter 31**

This is not how Steve imagined he'd get back in Tony's good books. On the bright side it meant that Tony knew he was done with accusing Raven of being a double agent and he trusted Bucky within reason. It was just weird for him to be babysitting a pair of teenagers but, Steve was going to do his best to befriend them. If only it felt less like chaperoning. They had found a diner that Eun Gi chose, they readily ordered and were patiently waiting in silence. Eun Gi was on her phone while Raven was resting her head on her shoulder. The silence was heaven sent for Steve but Bucky was jittery, eager to fill the silence.

"So where else do you girls want to go?" Steve asked. "Tony didn't say when he wanted you -"

His response was biting glare from Eun Gi. "You don't have to try and be all buddy-buddy with us. Okay?"

Eun Gi still didn't trust him, alright. "I was just asking a question."

"And if we want you to know something, we'll tell you," she snapped.

Raven sighed, sitting up with a wince. Eun Gi's face fractured at her apparent discomfort. "I'll be back," she said as she got up from the booth.

Bucky too, faltered at Raven's sullen disposition. "Hey, you okay?"

He reached out to steady her and Raven promptly swatted his hand away. "Don't fuss, Christ on a bike. I'm just going to take a piss."

Maybe Raven was doing the smart thing, separating herself from them. The second she left everyone squirmed in their seats, her absence tilting the neutral balance of the room. Bucky and Eun Gi exchanged a weighty stare. Ever since Buck found out about the girls's relationship he seemed intimidated by their bond, especially since he wanted to be close with Raven. Did Sam feel this way when Buck came into the picture, like he had to stake a claim so as not to be pushed out? Steve cleared his throat.

"Okay, let's get this awkwardness out the way." He said, "Everyone here wants to be friends and-"

"No we don't," scoffed Eun Gi. "You two can drop dead."

Bucky groaned, "What did I do to you?"

"Well, I don't know," she hummed sarcastically, "you just left Raven for dead like those lab rats and let this asshole accuse her of bullshit."

The words felt out his mouth, wet and feeble. "Raven forgave me," Bucky muttered.

"Well I haven't," she hissed. "And you," she snapped at Steve. "All it took you was some tears and now you want to back off? Bullshit."

"I came to a realization," he began to explain.

She held up her hand to silence him, already unimpressed. "You don't know anything about Raven. You see her cry and you think she's some pathetic thing."

"So you want me to continue accusing her?" Steve grumbled, cautious to keep his voice low. "Because I'm having a little trouble following your thinking."

"I don't trust you. I don't care what you say, I don't trust either of you." She folded her arms across her chest.

Steve had no idea what to say. Bucky decided to test his luck with the girl. "I know why you hate me. Raven saved me and she got in trouble for it. She got… hurt. And all I did was forget her, I left her behind. But I wanna make it up to her," he pleaded to Eun Gi. "I want to… help Raven. Look out for her, because let's face it," he said with an impatient huff, "she's a hard headed punk who needs all the friends she can get."

Eun Gi mulled over his words, probably translating. "Hard headed… punk?" She repeated, somewhat confused by the expression.

"An idiot," he explained with a smile.

That swayed her immediately. Good ol' Buck, always the ladies man. Steve held back a smirk but patted his knee under the table. Bucky's leg damn near leapt up in the air, tipping over the table. Yet when he pulled away his knee chased after his fingertips.

"Tell me about it." She peeped over the bathroom doors. "She can be intense," she warned Bucky. "Don't get scared, she can smell it."

Just as the two shared a truce, their food arrived but no Raven. Eun Gi frowned but shoveled some of her extra fries onto Raven's plate. Just as she finished, Raven showed up. Her eyes immediately went to the unusually high piles of fries, and smiled. As she sat in the booth, she gave Eun Gi a peck. Bucky shifted in his seat, they didn't see but Steve noticed. He was really on edge with the whole realization that being like that was okay. Steve pretended not to know why.

"So where are we going after this?" Raven wondered with a mouthful of fries. "Are we calling it a day?"

"No way," whined Eun Gi. "Let's go shopping."

Raven rolled her eyes with a fondness that made Steve think of Tony. In the right light she was everything like him, likable and welcoming. Though some aspects of her personality were distracting. Whereas Tony never shut up unless you hit him, Raven barely said anything. How did the two get so close? Tony was ready to have another war over Raven, implying they were close. Yet the two couldn't get along with their differences.

"What do you want to do?" Steve asked Raven directly.

She blinked eyes focusing on him like a sniper's scope. Steve could hear her thoughts whispering from inside her head about why he was being so nice. After all but arresting her for suspected treason.

"Why'd you come along for?" She questioned.

"Excuse me?"

"I get why Bucky's here. I don't get why you're here," she muttered. "You trying to offer an olive branch or something?"

When Eun Gi accused him it felt less like a personal attack. Raven's tone was dark, with secrets in between her words. He tailored his tone to suit. "I may have jumped the gun with you, I want to bury the hatchet."

"Is that right? So you think taking me out for lunch is gonna fix everything? I mean, you're free to think I'm a sneaky bitch, you won't be the first." She took a bite of her burger.

"Do you want to fight or something?" Steve grumbled. "I'm trying to be nice here."

"Right," she snorted, not believing him for a second.

Steve all but threw his hands up in the air. "I can't convince you to trust me."

"You couldn't if you tried."

Bucky shot him a pleading look as he opened his mouth. Steve promptly clammed it shut. Raven saw it and held out her hand, asking for him to speak his mind. There was no way he could move forward without being honest. Raven was clearly ready to grate his nerves until she got to his breaking point. Unlike Tony she had the patience to push him further than anyone ever did.

"Let me guess, you think I should make a heartfelt apology for giving you trouble?"

"Oh please," she winced. "You're only being nice to me because you have a rough idea of how messed up I am. A pretty shallow reason, but not the worst. I'd lose what little respect I still have for you."

Bucky made a pained noise and held his head while Eun Gi slurped noisily at her drink, eager for the approaching mud slinging. Steve was taken back by her bluntness. It took half a minute to gather exactly what she was saying.

"You respect me?"

"Barely," she taunted.

"Why barely?"

"Because you're an emotional dickhead," she stated. Eun Gi squealed into her palm, in utter glee at the fight about to break out. Bucky was avoiding everyone's stare muttering in Russian to himself. "On principal I distrust people like that," Raven declared.

"Fair enough," he shrugged. "Well, I distrust people with secrets. Especially when those secrets can save people's lives."

"That's a little pot calling the kettle black innit?" She cocked an eyebrow. "I mean you royally threw the Avengers and Shield's public image in a blender because you make shortsighted decisions. Not a person I'd trust me secrets with. Just saying."

"Shortsighted?"

"Did I stutter?"

Steve narrowed his eyes. "Is this about Tony? The Sokovia Accords?"

Raven seemed annoyed that she had spell things out for him. "Tony can fight his own battles. The Sokovia Accords was a bunch of shite to begin with and you threw a tantrum, getting a team of idiots on your side. You acted like a bunch of children, endangering people, effing up several economies and making overall bad decisions. All because you never bothered to learn how your own government works." She sighed, "I mean I get it, you're a man out of time boo hoo and all that. But the government you fight for has been messed up long before the war and you acted so surprised when it screwed you over."

"So you think Tony was right." He smiled bitterly.

"Stop being such a bitch. Both of you should have had your heads knocked together." She shook his head. "Jesus for an old man you are such a baby."

"Guys, please," Bucky pleaded.

"Guys please," Eun Gi egged on.

"So what you would have had me do? Let the government take Bucky in for crimes he shouldn't be charged for?" He growled.

"You're such a drama queen. Bucky would have been safe. So what if the world thought he was a killer, they still think he is. At least he would have been alive and you could have peacefully worked on his defense and acquittal. But no," she droned, "you wanted him absolved immediately. Not to mention you kept the key to getting him off in the dark, ensuring a huge disaster when the skeletons fell out the closet."

"Oh so it's that easy huh?" He chuckled darkly. "You just put all your pieces in place and watch them dance."

"Can't stand the heat, get out of the kitchen," Raven snarked.

"You manipulate people," Steve accused.

"And you wish you could," Raven retorted. "What? You think you can hurt my feelings?"

Bucky slammed his flesh hand on the table. "Stop fighting!" He hissed. "C'mon," he grumbled, "we shouldn't be doing this."

"We're having a discussion," Raven cooly said. "It's not my fault Steve's got his balls in a twist."

"That's it!" Steve snarled. Raven was ten time worse than Tony, getting under her skin like something from a sci-fi movie. "I tried to be nice," he told Bucky.

"Oh what?" Raven chortled. "I piss on your life choices and you wanna pout?" She reached over to his plate taking a handful of fries and tossing them on her plate. "We're just clearing the air, I hate pantomimes."

Steve glared at the space on his plate. "Seriously? You stole food off my plate."

Raven shrugged, eating her spoils. "Sucks doesn't it? When someone just makes a choice for you without forewarning."

His jaw pulsed. "You just love to push buttons, don't you?"

"And you love punching them."

Bucky's voice rose. "Guys!" The two didn't take their eyes off each other. "I mean it. Steve," he said to his friend. He didn't budge. "Raven." She turned her head to one side, relenting with a long blink.

"Only because you asked nicely."

"You two done now?" He asked, not moved by her surrender.

"Depends on him."

"Depends on her."

Bucky groaned. Eun Gi wagged her brows, mouthing, good luck, to him. "I don't want us to fight." Eun Gi cackled from her corner. "Can you pipe down?" He grumbled.

"What?" She giggled. "You want two stubborn idiots to make peace?"

"You know I think Sam was right about you," Bucky murmured to the giddy assassin.

Raven was about to ask him what he meant by that, when her phone rang. It was the Ghostbusters's theme song. Both girls's faces dropped and Raven's face contorted into a venomous expression.

"Who's up for a trust building exercise?" She murmured.

* * *

Ilya didn't know where she was. The last thing she remembered was running away from bad men when something stung her in her neck and everything went black. Now she awake, in a dark place like her old room Before Raven. Her hands her tied behind her back and her foot was chained to a pipe. She screamed, at the sudden change of surroundings.

"Well look who's up?" A man came from around a corner. "A little friend of Raven's."

Raven was dead. The thought of it made her want to cry. Raven and her funny laugh, spotted face and gentle hands. Who saved her from a Bad Place, killed the bad men who wanted to hurt her, taught her how to ride a bike and fold an omelette, was gone. She was like a mother, tucking her in at night and telling her stories, teaching her insignificant things, but also a sister in which they had Serious Talks. When she left Ilya didn't feel so safe and loved anymore. Raven was the glue that kept everyone together and happy, without her everyone fell and drifted away.

"Where am I?" She asked him.

He ignored her question or maybe she said it wrong. Her English was hard to understand sometimes. "Don't mind that. You." He pulled out a knife and waved it so closely under her eye, the blade combed through her eyelashes. "You are going to help us find Raven."

"Raven's dead," she said.

The man laughed, a loud, gross laugh. He thought she was lying and then realized she wasn't. "Oh. Didn't anyone tell you? Raven's alive. Oh yes, no matter what we do we can't seem to kill her."

"But… that's no true." If Raven was alive she would have come home, back to her. She wouldn't have missed her birthday. Unless… she was hiding from bad men too.

"It is true. And all of your friends knew, and no one told you. So sad," he mocked.

That's why Felix and Kyung Gi left. She thought they were finally going to find Eun Gi but, they went to find Raven. Why didn't anyone tell her? Raven wouldn't like them treating her like a baby.

"You," he continued, "are going to help us find her."

"No," she said firmly. "You're a bad man." Ilya would never help any bad man. Never.

"Oh yes you are," he growled gripping her hair and pulling. "You are you going to give me a number, or so help me I will kill you and dump you at Stark Industries!"

She shook her head. "Raven will kill you," she promised.

"Not if I kill her first. You think Raven is like Captain America hm? She can die, she will die and I will get her head for what she's done. Getting my boss killed." He let her go with a shove. "I found this in your pocket." He pulled out a phone, with a Sailor Moon keychain ornament. "I know you can find her. They aren't any names in here, but this number is her isn't it? What are you to you to her anyways?" Ilya's response was a scowl. He waved it the phone at her threateningly, "I will pull out your fingernails, if you test me."

She shook her head again. She wouldn't tell him anything. Raven was brave all the time, she was going to be brave too.

"Well it doesn't matter. I dialed it. Let's see if Raven will come and save you." He grinned, "Saving people is in her blood."

Raven was coming, and it was trap. "No!" Ilya cried. "You can't!"

"Oh so it is a speed dial. I knew it," he chuckled. "Well I dialed it a while ago." He couched down to her level. "So Raven is going to be here any minute now. And I'm going to drag her in here." He acted out his fantasy right before her. Going back around the corner dragging an imaginary body. "Lay her right in front you, put my knee in her back, lift up her head up and…" He made a cutting motion with his knife. "The legend of Raven will die, and you will tell everyone that this time the bitch is really dead."

Ilya's eyes welled up with tears. "No… You can't… I won't let you!"

"Oh, and what are you going to do? Cry some more?"

Raven always said to imagine her powers as hands when she wanted to grab something. A ball if she wanted to hit something and a shield if she wanted to stop something. All they did was play games and fun exercises that never felt like mission training. Now she thought back to her days in the Red Room, watching the girls train. She was no fighter but she had power, and she was very angry. Ilya never felt so furious about anything, and she wanted to hurt this bad man. To stop him from hurting Raven.

If you want to grab something, imagine it as a hand. Reaching, reaching and then holding. Just because you aren't doing missions doesn't mean you shouldn't use your powers ever. They aren't going anywhere.

Ilya wanted to squeeze this man. The more she thought about, a hand around his throat. Like when Eun Gi was yelling at her brother, and her hands flew at his throat. She didn't squeeze, but the visual was there. When Raven squeezed lemons her knuckles went white, her nails dug into the skin. That's how she grabbed his neck. Like a lemon, squeezing until the yucky juice came out.

" **No one hurts Raven. No one."** She hissed in her Russian dialect. **"I'll stop you."**

You can do anything, all you have to do is concentrate and use your imagination. Be as amazing as you want to be. I'll be there and love you no matter what.

Staring down at her shackle, the chain snapped at her command. She quickly wiggled against the zip-tie around her hands, focusing on the discomfort, a single spot – and it fell off. Just like Raven taught her, concentrate, imagine, and it'll work. Now to get out of here and find Raven before the bad men did. She picked up her phone and checked the call log, and saw that he did call Raven several minutes ago. Ilya had to do something, she wouldn't hide like a baby.

"What the hell?" Someone snarled behind her. "What did you do?"

Another bad man. **"Go away!"** She yelled. **"Get away from me!"**

He did go away, like she wanted. But it was all wrong, and she was covered in it. Ilya screamed at what she'd done. She did something bad, something very very very bad. And she did the only thing she thought would fix it all, make it better again. "Raven!" She screamed. "Raven! Raven!"

* * *

"What's that?" Steve asked as Raven stared at her phone. "Raven?"

Eun Gi gripped Raven's shoulder whispering in Korean. **"** **I know what you're thinking. And you can't, the doctor said you had to rest. Raven. Raven, it could be a trap."**

"It's not." Raven shook her head. "Look at where it's coming from."

"Raven… Please," Eun Gi pleaded. "Your heart…"

"What's going on?" Bucky locked eyes with Raven. "Raven, what is it?" He saw the glow in her eyes, the same one Steve had whenever he was about to do something stupid. "For the love of -"

"You want to be friends with me?" Raven demanded. Bucky floundered at her boisterous tone, so she asked again. "You want to be friends, to make it up to me for leaving me in Hydra right?"

He nodded mutely, but Steve knew his friend was about to be blackmailed into something. "What are you playing at?"

"Shut the - up," Raven spat at Steve. "Then help me," she said to Bucky showing him a picture on her phone. "You see this little girl? I gave her a phone only for emergencies, it can only dial my number and act as a tracer. It just went off which means, she's in trouble and the signal is coming not far from here."

Steve leaned over to look at the picture. The thought of a little girl in danger was enough to peak his interest, but there were too many unanswered questions. Who was she? Why did Raven know her? Nothing was ever simple with her. "So you want us to follow this signal and rescue a little girl?"

"Oh I'm sorry, I forgot. You prefer having glorified streets fight in an airport," sneered Raven. "Isn't that why you shat on the Sokovia Accords so you could go where you're needed, not where you're sent?" When he didn't leap at her accusation she went even further. "Or aren't the stakes high enough for you?"

Steve's face tensed as though Raven had slapped him. "Careful…"

"Then prove me wrong and earn some of my respect, and I'll give you a story to keep you up tonight." Raven challenged him further, "Or you wanna let a nameless girl die to teach me a lesson? It's not like you know her. Kids die every day, what's one more, right?"

"Fine, fine!" Steve relented. "Feels like I'm making a deal with the devil."

"Don't forget it," Raven warned as she signaled for the waitress.

Raven's signal took them to a warehouse, on the rough side of Brooklyn. No one seemed to notice them skulking around the abandoned lot. Four random people climbing through a flimsy fence. Raven reacted like she did this sort of this all the time. Without a blink she entered, head held high and knowing exactly where she was going. Another car was already there, nothing overly suspicious, however Raven immediately ran to it. Picking up a rock she mashed opened the driver's window, going to open the trunk from the inside. Opening the door to the trunk she retrieved a stuffed yarn woven, green octopus. Her expression was dark and solemn as she tucked it into her messenger bag like it was made of crystal, and then proceeded onwards. No one had to tell him that was a bad omen. Steve turned to ask Eun Gi if they needed to keep Raven from losing her cool if they caught anyone hurting this little girl. But she was the one who pulled him aside.

"If you find anyone in there," she whispered fiercely. "Don't let Raven get near them. If you ever do one thing for me, do this. Nothing brings the worst out of Raven when someone hurts a child."

"That bad?" He muttered. Then again, Raven was an abused kid. If anyone knew the long term aspects of being hurt, it was her. And if Eun Gi was so concerned that she's beg him to hold Raven back, he didn't want to imagine how ugly this could get. Tony was going to kill him.

"So what's her name? This girl?" He heard Bucky ask Raven.

"Ilya," replied Raven as they stepped inside. "Her English is decent but her main language is Russian, it's a weird Russian but you should be able to understand her."

Bucky's back stiffened. "She's from Russia?"

"Relax. She never met the Soldier." Yet Raven glances at his covered arm. "But don't go flashing it at her either."

Steve grabbed Raven by her shoulder stopping her from going forward another inch. She glared at him but stopped. "What are we about to walk into?" He softly demanded.

"Nothing you can't handle – if you do exactly as I say." She lifted a finger to his chin. "You need to listen to me, no questions asked. Ilya doesn't know you, she knows me. If you scare her, everything will go to shit."

"What happens if she's scared?"

Steve practically heard the bolt lock on the side of Raven's mouth, she wasn't going to say a word. Luckily Bucky and Eun Gi heard something and signaled for them to go upstairs. Raven knocked off his hands and went up behind them, pushing pass the two assassins. Steve frantically trotted behind her. Was she insane? She was the least physically capable out of the four of them, and injured. Bullet proof hoodie or not she was the easiest to take out. Tony would mount his head on the wall of his lab if anything happened to Raven.

"Finally you know how I feel," Bucky whispered to him.

"What?" Steve hissed. He was trying to get beside Raven but Eun Gi thankfully caught up to Raven who was already getting a little winded. "What are you talking about?"

"She's just like you," he explained with a fond smile. "Getting way in over her head. Too dumb to run away from a fight. Girl with a plan… A little punk."

Steve made an offended noise. "We aren't anything alike."

"Oh yes you are. Maybe that's why you two always go at it."

Bucky kept his eyes fixed on the girls as they creeped up the stairs. Raven kept herself unarmed. For someone who survived a twenty-something maned assault just the other day, it struck Steve as bizarre. Extremely bizarre.

"Everyone told you to leave me alone, and you," he chuckled, "held onto a helicopter to keep me from escaping. And here she is, beat up, to save a little girl. She's a mini Steve Grant Rogers alright. Minus the asthma."

"Very funny," Steve drily grumbled. "Good to know you think I'm a sixteen year old, Irish insomniac with a bad temper."

He glanced ahead to see that the girls had stopped walking. Eun Gi was backing up, pale as paper while Raven kept staring firmly ahead. She was muttering something in Korean to Raven who's response was a stay-here-gesture. Taking a deep breath she resumed walking, Eun Gi didn't follow. Steve went up to her when he saw what had her so shaken. Whatever happened her was no simple kidnapping, it was massacre. No little girl could create this amount of blood, no matter how they killed her. Blood was everywhere, the room reeked from the metallic fog. It was looking more like a reenactment of the war. Bodies torn apart, squashed in horrendous manners. Nothing that happen under ordinary circumstances. Yet Raven walked among the blood without flinching. Even the hardened assassins beside him didn't want to follow. Eun Gi nearly vomited from the smell alone.

"Don't follow her," Eun Gi told them in a quivering whisper. "It's happening…"

"What's happening?" Steve turned her so she would look into his eyes. "Look, if one of you doesn't start talking I swear to all that's holy…"

Eun Gi wasn't as unreadable as Raven, she wanted to tell him but the words seemed to fail her. For several seconds she fumbled with her thoughts. "I… Just let Raven handle it," she pleaded. "It'll be easier that way."

Steve ground his teeth. "Handle what? Who took this little girl? Some enhanced person? What?" He demanded.

Faintly he heard Raven humming a tune as she stepped along the filthy floor. Even Bucky wasn't keen on following her. Coming to a corner she knelt down, right in blood and guts, humming. Was the little girl behind there, hiding? If so shouldn't she just scoop her up and let them leave? Instead she was humming, crouched down in a mess of death. Steve watched, unable to see Raven's face as she coaxed the little girl out of hiding.

She came toward Raven, on her hands and knees, face damp with tears. Her loose pink dress was ruined with splatters of body, Barbie sneakers mudded up with it. Some of it seemed to have gotten into her two braids, which were all but unravelled from someone pulling on them. She stared up at Raven like she was a ghost. It was only when Raven reached out, patting her head did she break down and flung herself into Raven's arms. She spoke a mangled Russian he couldn't quite understand, but the few English she got out was very clear.

"I didn't mean to."

* * *

 **Hello lovelies! I have updated in the a timely manner, hooray! Although it is NaNoWriMo I will be still updating this story, so don't worry.**

 **Btw I wanna give a special shout out to an "awkward" fan of the story, I literally saw your message when I came home from work and I wish to dedicated this chapter to you. You have no idea how much I love hearing feedback, even if it's just "i love your f** **ic", it really brightens my day. So thank you so much.**

 **And anyone else is free to say hi in my PMs or tumblr, even if it's just a random comment, I love any and all. Even if you wanna criticize me. Just a reminder, my tumblr is .com .**

 **You guys know the usual drill, review, review, review.**


	32. Chapter 32

**Chapter 32**

There were no words adequate enough to describe what Raven had dragged Steve into. He drove the car, Bucky mute in the passenger seat with the girls in the backseat. Raven instructed that they drive around until Ilya calmed down. After what Eun Gi said and how the strange girl clung to Raven for dear life, he was more inclined to listen. The drove aimlessly around, ignoring whatever phone dare ring. Raven had taken off her soiled shoes – much to his relief, to stretch out in the backseat. Ilya laid on her bruised chest, sobbing for what was hours. Hiccuping in a broken Russian while Raven softly sung to her, soothing her with a patience of a mother. Is was damn near impossible to believe this girl was the same who berated him so intensely at the diner.

Every time Steve observed Raven doing something eerily maternal, it was hypnotic. From singing, petting her head at a marathon length on time, and using a whole pack of baby wipes to clean Ilya up as much as she could. Raven who knew no love, lost her mother brutally, raised by monsters, highly unstable and violent; was a natural nurturer. If Bucky had told him he wouldn't have believed it. He was no psychiatrist but Raven shouldn't be this alarmingly good with children. Hell, he was terrible with kids. They liked him as Captain America, smiling and wanting pictures. As Steve Rogers holding a child, it was awkward and he was afraid of either dropping or squashing them. And here was Raven, ex-Hydra operative taking care of a traumatized child with ease.

The more he found out about Raven the less he knew how to feel about her. On one hand she was a victim like Bucky, she acted with only survival in mind. On the other hand she was deceptive, mentally unstable, too smart for anyone's good and violent. Putting aside his differences with Tony, he liked the guy. He trusted him with his life and knew no matter how they butt heads it would be okay in the end. But Raven – Tony's daughter, she frightened him. Smarter than Tony, less likability, humor and social skills. She was the recipe for a super villain. Steve wished he saw the vulnerable side that Tony constantly saw, whatever in hell's name roped Eun Gi in and Bucky vouched for.

"We gotta go back to the Tower," Bucky said reluctantly. "Stark left ten messages, he might think something happened."

Raven said nothing right away. Rubbing a finger under her lip she nodded. "Fine… But we can't let anyone yell around Ilya." Said child was asleep on Raven's chest. Raven lowered her voice, "If she gets scared… you better pray Pietro's gotten faster since Sokovia."

Steve pulled off the road, as gently as he could. "We aren't going back if we'll be endangering the others." He wasn't negotiating with the lives of his teammates. Whatever ability this girl had, she couldn't control it. Raven's confidence be damned. The girl was addicted to danger. "Answer me right now. If we take her to the Tower, and Tony loses his cool or something scares her… Could someone get hurt?" He made direct eye contact, turning around in his seat.

Raven sighed. "If everyone acts like a grownup we should be fine… But statistically, it's likely."

Steve slammed a fist on the steering wheel. This was why he couldn't trust Raven blindly, nothing was straight forward with her. All her secrets came with poisonous pins. "Who is she? Hydra? Enhanced?"

"She's an eight year old," Raven murmured smoothly, "who loves Star Wars and Steven Universe. Hates avocados but likes guacamole, thinks popcorn is the greatest invention of mankind. Is obsessed Adore Delano, though that's mostly my fault."

"Are you trying to be funny?" He snapped. "She just killed two people and you haven't told me how. Not that you're surprised about it."

"Why can't you just sit back and evaluate a - situation before you froth at the mouth?" Despite the malice hidden in her words, her tone remained a steady lull, as not to disturb Ilya. "I've got this handled. But sure, if you wanna make things worse, go right ahead."

Another Sokovia jab. His clenched jaw threatened to break his teeth. "Then what's your advice, genius?"

"Alright dickhead," she grumbled in kind. "We go to the Tower and you do your job as self-appointed chaperone and show off those infamous leadership skills of yours."

"Oh you want my faulty help now?"

"I've made due with worse."

* * *

Tony's fist clenched tightly around his phone, he swore it could've snapped in two. The sun was setting and no one had checked in. Raven, Eun Gi with the meta-human goon squad; it was a recipe for disaster. Not to mention he was hosting Raven's best friend/lifeline Felix, who had drama of his own to sort out. Around the time he was furiously trying to reach Steve, Tony caught him glancing at his phone, texting hurriedly. Something was happening and Raven was nowhere to be found. Was this some trap? Distracting him while round two of this Take-Out-Raven-At-Any-Cost plan went down?

"You know something," he accused. "Something's happening."

Felix lifted his head, off put that Tony even implied he would hurt Raven. "There's something you gotta understand about Raven… She does what she wants okay? No matter what is it, she will find a way to do it. She'll twist you around to get her way. It's how she was raised. If you want something done, do it or don't bother." He rubbed his hair, messing it thoroughly. "I've been here before too. Calling her phone, who I think she might be with. Bad feeling in my gut. Raven," he sighed. "Raven is like a horse with blinders when she's after something. She'll turn into your worst nightmare if you're in her way somehow. She'll rip your throat open and then come back like… a guilty little girl when it's all over. Raven…"

He said her name like it was its own philosophy, a defined set of actions and reactions. Tony was getting sick of it. Raven was a child, a genius yes – but she was kid who was doing her best to cope with traumas Hydra thrust upon her. She needed a parent, someone to take some of the reigns from her. Everyone thought she knew best because she was a genius, that she was trained to lead. He knew better than anyone how easy it is to be manipulated by people, no matter how smart you are. Raven may be a less naive than him, but she was moulded by neglect and abuse. She was logical, coldly analytical with bursts of impulsiveness.

"I'm going to stop you right here," Tony said. "Raven is sixteen years old. She's a freaking kid. I don't care who she's tangled with, who she had a step over to get this far – she's a child!" He ran his fingers through his hair. "I get it, you've seen her do amazing things. She's had the life beaten out of her only to get up again and again. But you don't get it! Raven's body is on the brink of failing, I had a doctor look at her… She's sick. She had two major head injuries which may have permanently affected her personality, her pain receptors are probably busted beyond repair. Raven needs to slow down or she isn't going to live past thirty. Do you understand?"

Felix's eyes glassed up once he heard the Dr. Shelley's diagnosis. "That's what he said?" Tony nodded stiffly. Felix crossed himself. " **Holy** **M** **other** … And that idiot is out causing trouble still?"

"Now you see why I'm upset? With her and Rogers, especially Rogers." Tony scratched his beard anxiously. No, he couldn't think about him now, he'd kill him later. "If Raven is going to have a chance at a normal life – whatever normal ends up being for her, we gotta do something."

"We?" Felix smiled ruefully. "You need my help?"

"Oh c'mon, don't give me that! Sure I'm Raven's father, but you know her. I bet if you told her something, she'd hear you out." What was it with everyone who knew Raven? They all believed with all their hearts that Raven was some unbreakable force of nature, limitless. Had they not seen her wounded from what Janos did to her, the slow descend into her instability? He'd hate to think she was hiding this from her friends, or worse – the medication had.

"You don't want me to help," Felix said, utterly defeated.

"What to do you talking about? You mean the world to Raven."

Felix bowed his head. "When Raven came to me, I offered her a place to stay." He reached for the scotch chalice and hurriedly poured himself a drink. "I liked her, I knew she could take care of herself. I just saw it as though a buddy of mine got kicked out and needed somewhere to crash. I never saw it as a responsibility. I was twenty-two, I had my own house, no one to answer to… Other than having to remember there was someone else eating my food, I lived the same."

A lump formed in Tony's throat. The way Felix threw back his drink was a warning. "What happened?"

"I blame myself for how Raven turned out. I just wanted her happy, you know? After what happened with Janos, the Winter Soldier mess, she was in a bad place you know? I guess now I know why she might have been having an identity crisis or something like that. She didn't want to talk about it, so I hoped to cheer her up." He poured another drink. "One night, a couple of my friends come over. Raven stayed in her room a lot in the beginning, so I thought nothing of it. It wasn't a wild party or anything…"

Tony's fist clenched on the countertop.

"A guy – I hung out with sometimes, he was a fun guy to be around… He disappeared for a few minutes and I thought nothing of it. I thought maybe he got lost taking a piss, or he snuck off with a bottle of booze. But I get this bad feeling, because Raven's in the house and drunks used to freak her out back then…"

He palms his hands together over his mouth. "I go upstairs, to Raven's room and I find the door open. I go inside and the place is a mess. It's like a cage fight happened in there, and in the middle of it is Raven's got a broken piece of porcelain in her hand. She was holding it so tight, she cut herself. And there's my house guest, drunk, belt undone… I see red.

I barely remember what happened," he droned on. "I start yelling for my boys – security, but before they get there I start beating the shit outta him. I was so angry because that is type of crap my father did. Having young girls around the house, as long as you were under his roof you were on duty. I don't run things like that, I let everyone know upfront. And that disgusting… Anyways, the next thing I know I'm ordering my boys to take him outside. He's bleeding everywhere, begging for his life, saying every wrong thing you can imagine. And I shoot him, on my terrace without thinking."

"And Raven?" Tony asked cautiously. "She saw that?"

"I felt so bad about it. Her mother was beat to death you know? Her face was caved in. She couldn't stand huge sets of blood, not even in bad movies. And I let her see that… She didn't talk about it, I didn't know how to either. You can't ask are you okay, because it feels wrong to ask. But then she stops sleeping at night. The slightest sound would wake her up, a pin could drop and boom, she's wide awake. I felt guilty, so I took her places I probably shouldn't have, let her talk to people she shouldn't have met, but I just wanted her happy you know? Show her some fun stuff to keep her mind off the bad. Maybe tire her out so she would go to sleep. Instead," he muttered, "I think I made her worse. Rolling with a bunch of rowdy, foul-mouthed men.

And Janos," he spat. "He kept pushing her further. Thinking if he broke her in the right spot she would come back. I remember there was this party, I came along so Raven wouldn't be alone. She hates those fancy dressed things. Janos liked to make her dance with him, she would be so dead in her eyes. Floating on her feet, moving beautifully but god did she look so miserable. He had her in this… gaudy red dress, forced her to wear it and painted her face. Some rumors were starting about her, as it would naturally, a little girl being tossed about the place. In our circles… that meant something bad. But only if you knew Raven, you knew if anyone tried to hurt her, she would tear their throat out with her teeth. She would sooner cut her own throat then let someone overpower her."

"What happened at the party?" Tony prodded. "What was the big deal with the dress?"

"Raven hates red. Hardly wears it, even though it suits her." He glanced at Tony with bitter realization. "I guess, red was your color and wearing it reminded her of you. The man she's supposed to surpass, the man they wanted her to kill." He sighed, "I knew there was a story behind the whole red thing. Janos used that red dress like a knife on Raven. He was still mad that Raven hadn't apologized for the Winter Soldier thing, and she hated him for abandoning her in Italy. I overheard them going at it, in a powder room. Janos saying, if you want sympathy you will get none. This is all your doing, you and your foolish displays of childishness. And Raven had said, if my life means nothing to you, if it's so worthless then throw me back where you found me. That was the first time I heard him hit her. Two slaps.

I remember opening the door. I was ready to get between them because I knew it could get ugly. And boy did it. Raven was looking at him, this look in her face. I was a bit lost myself because he hit her twice, leaving two red marks on both cheeks. You wanna know what he said? Some rouge for your cheeks, after all stupidity and promiscuity runs in your family."

Tony made a pained groan. So Janos did use him to hurt Raven. Throwing her mother's death and past in her face like boiling acid.

"He might as well had shot her twice in the heart. The strange thing is, his words had made her cry, not the slaps. I got him outta the room, and I tried talking to her. But all she did was stare at the ground, tears falling down her face. Like someone had turned a faucet on, but she didn't make a sound. She had to go downstairs, she was working, networking technically."

"Please tell me you didn't make her go to that party."

"No… I was already thinking about what to do, but it didn't matter. Five minutes after Janos left, Raven exploded. She started hitting herself, smacking her fists into her head." Felix lifts a half clenched fist, mimicking how Raven hit the sides of her forehead. "I didn't realize it but it was her first breakdown. I tried to hold her, like a bear hug but she slipped out my arms. She ran out the building and got into the first car she saw, I didn't see her for two days."

"Two days," Tony repeated in disbelief. "What did she do?" He was terrified to find out, in case it was something he couldn't un-hear. But he knew to fully understand Raven, to predict how out of control things could get he had to know what she had done on her worst days.

"She wouldn't tell me. I just found her in the kitchen, in a silk shirt – a man's shirt and a pair of cut off jeans. Her clothes from the party in a used shopping bag on the table. It was exactly what it looked like," he told Tony gently. "Raven learned to use rumors to her advantage. I had no clue what happened that night. As far as anyone knows she went home with some dude with a car that matched her dress."

"That's the reason she gave?" Tony exclaimed. "Who was this guy?"

"I met him," Felix muttered. "Raven likes to call him Rasputin. They're friends. I tried to shake him down for details from that night, he just laughed in my face. Told me if Raven wasn't upset then not to care, it's not like he hurt her." He shook his head. "I asked Raven what happened, I begged her to be honest. And she told me, no matter what I say, you won't like the answer. It took me a month to realize that if she did anything at all, it was to get back at Janos. Because when he heard, that his precious, shining jewel, possibly had a wild weekend with some sleazy pretty, rich boy, like the girls we paid to be at those parties – He and Raven went at it. Like him, we had no clue if Raven started the rumor or if she really… No one knew anymore. Especially after seeing them acting so buddy-buddy later on, like nothing had happened, or something happened.

Why would a stranger lie about something like that, with a child? Let his colleagues speculate that he was that type of man. Even in the darkest circles there is a limit to how messed up you could be. And Raven was not some girl someone hired – sorry. She was a player on the board, she was no one's daughter and yet everyone knew she was Janos's girl. Everyone considered her her own person, she could do what she wanted as long as she got her job done. But when Janos heard, he came over to speak to Raven. Another a big fight. I didn't hear much of it… He didn't come back for months, until Raven got into a real trouble."

"Ultron," he muttered heavily.

Tony had no clue what to do. His heart and mind was racing for whom was going to dictate the first physical reaction. Raven was… She was a mess. He thought back to the times he acted out, whether because his parents weren't around or he disliked himself. Raven did things to get her way, to hurt those around her. She had been hurt so much, she decided to use it as a weapon. This was beyond not knowing love for most of her life. She had no ego to fan because she had been treated like nothing, and everyone who treated her well were temporary or morally gray.

"I…" Tony began to say, when he interrupted by Pepper coming home.

She stopped dead in her tracks seeing the stranger in her house having drinks with Tony. Bless her, she doesn't yell or demand immediate answers. Pepper sets down her bags and approaches them slowly.

"Tony… Who's this?"

* * *

They all decided to regroup at Sam's apartment in Brooklyn. Sam was confirmed to be with the other Avengers once he was finished with his other work at the local veteran's center. All the Avengers were settling into the Tower after the unspoken truce between them and Tony. They had the place to themselves for now. Which was fine, since Ilya was sleeping and Raven had to find out exactly what happened. She had left Ilya with Soledad, a mutual friend of hers and Felix. She knew about Ilya's powers and was tutoring her. Soledad wasn't a psychologist per se, nor was she a trained fighter. She had survived her own from of hell and she was probably dead if those goons were professional enough. It also meant Rogelio might have some last desperate attempts under his belt.

Raven was in the kitchen preparing something for them to eat when she heard a voice from behind. "Hey, are you okay?" Eun Gi joined her in the kitchen. **"You have that look again."**

" **Soledad might be dead."** Raven mouth turned into a tight line as she sucked in a huge deep breath.

" **We have bigger things to worry about – if Felix isn't handling it then Pretty Boy will make the right calls. We need to talk about her,"** she hissed urgently wary that they weren't completely alone. **"That was more than a few cracks in the wall Raven."**

" **She's gotten stronger. I told you that might happen, which is why I used to play so much weird games with her. Ilya needs someone to show her how to use her powers to avoid accidents."**

" **I don't doubt she did it out of fear,"** Eun Gi assured her. **"God knows what they might have done if she hadn't killed them. But those two are terrified."** She directed her eyes to where the men had vanished to have a talk of their own. **"They might try and involve the government."**

" **No they won't. Steve can't ask the government for help after he spat in their eye, nor will the American government harbor a psychic child. Remember what I told you about those experiments the government did, MK Ultra?"**

" **Among other disgusting things,"** she sighed.

" **Well, that's my leverage. I bet you no one has told that idiot about all the messed things the government has done while he was under ice. He only knows what they think he should and whatever his fellow Avengers think he should know. He's too self-righteous to turn on me."**

" **Still he has a history of being stupid…"**

" **I'm not Tony, he listens to me or I break his spine."** Raven took a deep breath. **"I don't want to dirty my hands further, but I have to protect Ilya. I kept her alive, she's my responsibility. If I entrust her to the wrong people, we'll have a bigger, badder version of ourselves running around in a few years. And we agree that can't happen, right?"**

" **I still can't believe you made me watch an anime to buy into this."** Eun Gi folded her arms tightly. **"Are you going to make the Avengers sit through all thirteen episodes of Elfen Lied?"**

" **Don't you bad talk Elfen Lied, it's an underrated masterpiece. The manga and animated series."**

" **Easy, easy,"** Eun Gi giggled. **"But I truly doubt that using pink haired cartoon characters with cat ear horns as your argument will go well. I did cry during it but I doubt that trick will work twice."**

" **I know, but it brings up valid points. Children have to learn to empathize, and with these telekinetic abilities who knows how it can effect their brains in the long run. Look at Mariko, the youngest character, she was abused from birth but only wanted her parents. She was denied all social interaction and became a sociopathic monster. Ilya needs a reasonably normal childhood to avoid that. We get it because we had shitty childhoods, others won't. Felix wouldn't have let me bring her out the lab if I told him how strong she could become. If I told him I guessed this all from a damn anime he would have lost it."**

" **He would have made a separate wing for her."**

" **Which is no better than alienating her, which she cannot be. She needed to play with kids, go outside and ride a bicycle, she needs to be better than us."**

" **If you use yourself as an argument we might get away with this,"** Eun Gi suggested, thoroughly convinced with her plan.

Raven mulled it over. **"We can throw** **the twins** **under the bus if anyone gets snippy. They still feel iffy about me and might let me use them as excuses."**

" **They did want to lock up Miss Lab Rat."**

" **And** **the** **Captain was the one working with her."** Raven hummed pensively. **"This might work. Though we have to wear him down, he's a little too unpredictable for me."**

" **Use** **Miss** **Lab Rat,"** Eun Gi advised. **"They're close, she was fighting on his side at the airport, meaning her treatment at the Avengers HQ offended him. It's a weakness. Metal Arm Ahjusshi is already on your side out of guilt."**

Raven knew Eun Gi was still nursing her grudge against the twins. So her complete willingness to step on them to protect Raven's interests was expected. But for once Raven was second guessing herself. Did she really need to twist the Avengers so cruelly to keep Ilya safe. She never hesitated in doing wrong things to save someone she cared about. Never thought twice of killing if it were to do just a little good, no matter how fleeting. All horrible things could be excused it they had good intentions. Why was this time different? Why was her stomach choking itself with guilt?

" **Or…"** Eun Gi said, as if it were nothing at all. **"We can play nice, and give them a chance not to be completely idiotic."**

" **Was it that obvious?"** Raven blushed at her transparency. Eun Gi bobbed her head, grinning ear to ear. "Shite," Raven laughed. **"I'm losing my edge."**

" **No… You're changing."** Eun Gi didn't sounded disappointed in it, but tickled to death. **"It's nice to see you be human for once."** She playfully nudged her side.

Lightly teasing she wondered, **"You don't like me acting like a thug? I thought you like it when I got all tough."** As her lack of medication changed, Raven tried not to think about the fact that her new self might not interest Eun Gi anymore. The self-assured, calculating, future leader of a terrorist organization didn't sound as fascinating as an anxiety crippled, depressed, directionless genius.

Eun Gi rolled her eyes. **"You're such an idiot sometimes, you know that?"** She leaned in and pecked her bruised face. **"I love that girl who sneaked me snack boxes with horrible hangul written notes behind my father's back. Who cried over a Steven Universe episode and drove to my favorite restaurant at three in the morning because I was sad. I love that girl more than the Hydra thug who saved my life."**

Raven blinked, slightly winded. "The last part is nice too, right?"

"Very nice," Eun Gi promised. **"But I want to marry the sweet girl. I rather be the mistress of the other one."** She smirked harmlessly as Raven fondly scoffed.

"Gold digger." Then the reality of her statement snuck in. They never talked about their silly dream. Raven hated talking about her dreams aloud incase it tempted the universe to spoil them. "We're still doing that?" She asked softly. "You still… want to?"

Now Eun Gi faltered, "Do you still… want to?"

Raven pressed her forehead to Eun Gi's. "More than anything in the world… There's no one I love more than you – Except Ilya."

Eun Gi snapped away, stunned. "Ilya?"

"She sings better than you and she doesn't hold my art scalpel to super soldiers' throats."

"Aish, you're still mad at me about that?"

"My art scalpels are for pencils and charcoal Eun Gi. It's not a lot to ask for."

"You tyrant."

"Mad cow," threw back Raven with a smile in the corner of her mouth. Eun Gi and her soon broke out in soft giggles. Steve and Bucky would suspect them of plotting murders. "Help me start the soup?" She invited.

Eun Gi hugged her shoulders. "If you can find something I'm good at that Ilya isn't."

"Insulting me?"

"Too easy," Eun Gi dismissed.

"Making me think I'm about to have cardiac arrest whenever you look at me?" Offered Raven.

Eun Gi scoffed as her cheeks turned red. "You're so cheesy."

* * *

 **I just want to thank those who reviewed the last chapter. I really do, because that was exactly what I needed someone to tell me. And I'm happy that despite the "problems" Raven's characterization does have, that you're all still enjoying my story. It means a lot to me. Because I do need and want to learn how to write better and you're comment ensure that I will challenge myself and make my next chapter and story even better.**

 **But I do acknowledge that I haven't quite explained Raven's Hydra background very well. (That's my fault, because of my writing style) So I'm going to give you a little overview of what has been discussed in previous chapters (so these aren't spoilers by any means) because it was the way I intended them to be interpreted. But I think I didn't do it as well as I could have. So keep reading if you want things made clearer or you just need a refresher. I'll un-bold in case you want to skip it.**

Raven did not shut down the Winter Soldier program, as a whole. Yes she saved Bucky (to an extent since it is acknowledged in Cap2 that he remembers on his own on various occasions.) Zemo, in my "verse" (the main villain for the Civil War movie) still was the one to kill the last KNOWN Winter Soldiers. Raven only killed those associated with Operative Shin, because he and them were obsessed with the program. Because I personally believe Hydra would never have just one Winter Soldier program.

Red Room: Raven only knows of the Red Room. Since she was meant to lead Hydra I imagined she would at least know of it. After all a prominent Avenger member is famously known for being a part of it. She hasn't stopped it in any form. Ilya is only associated with it because I liked the idea and have plans for it. But just know Raven has no connection with the Red Room and it's still a very classified, mysterious organization.

Skills: Raven knows about Engineering (this is why she knows how to fix Bucky's arm. This was the first thing she was taught. You can argue this extends into Mechanical Engineering.) She can program and hack (Because she worked with Arnim Zola.) She knows about biology (again for those who know the difference you can argue this extends into genetics. Because that is how she helped the twins).

Raven was trained to BE Tony, so roughly everything he was taught or has great knowledge of, she was drilled to surpass his level. Because don't forget her purpose was to kill Tony and you can't kill someone unless you know more than they do. I won't go further into this because this is only what I have mentioned, SO FAR.

Languages: I think this also needs addressing because it may need clearing up. Raven fluently knows, Hungarian (because of her Handler), Spanish (because of Felix and she lived in Spain. Which means she only knows Castellan Spanish. There is a difference.) German and Russian (because Hydra bases were prominently stationed in Germany and Russian due to their origins.) Italian (because she was left in Italy and frankly Spanish is a gateway to Italian). And of course Korean (because of Eun Girl).

Her lesser languages, French (in my mind she only learned some of it because of her mother, who is French.) Gaelic (because kids have to learn it as a mandatory subject in Ireland. For those of you who don't know Gaelic is the original language of Ireland before England came along. Celtic is Scottish.) Sokovian (only phrases and a few words).

 **Okay I know that is a lot to read but honestly I realized I wasn't clear in my writing and just so everyone is on the same page, I just wanted that off my chest. A few reviewers were bringing up some points that I should have taken the time to explain IN STORY. Again, my bad lovelies, my bad. But I am so glad and grateful for the critiques you guys were giving me, because Raven is a depressing character and since I think about her all the time I don't realize how reading the** **continuous agony is on you guys. So since everyone is in accord that we all know and have no debates about Raven's depression and dark side, we're going to do better and progress.**

 **But seriously, I love the reviews I got, even though you were chatting among yourselves. I love it. Please keep that going because I love hearing both sides to my story. You guys really helped me and I can't thank you reviewers (you know who you are) enough.**


	33. Chapter 33

**Chapter 33**

"We need to talk," was all Steve said when he came into the kitchen. "Now."

Raven barely reacted to his tone, glancing to Eun Gi who nodded and left. Not before planting a kiss on the bridge of her nose. Leaving the two of them alone as Raven stirred over a pot. She made no gesture that she was going to stop cooking and give Steve her full attention, so he came beside her.

"What is she?" He asked. "The little girl."

"She was an experiment I saved from a lab in Kazakhstan. She was about to be dissected when I stepped in. I took her in and only a select few know she's telekinetic." She methodically stirred the spoon, choosing her words carefully. "Before you ask she's not like Wanda. It was kids like Ilya that made Hydra obsessed with telekinesis."

"Kids like her?"

"A natural born telekinetic. Ilya wasn't given her powers, she was born with them. A genetic mutation." She turned off the stove and moved to drain the pasta in the sink. "She wasn't the first by any means. But she was the last they had, too young and volatile to control. So they put her on ice like Bucky, and realized that it was her mutation that served them better than her."

"So what, they were going to cut it out of her? Is that even possible?"

Raven found an assortment of spices from the cupboard, looking over them as she contemplated how to flavor the soup. "They suspected so, after all it has to come form somewhere. Mutations can be scientifically explained, her body had to have adapted around it. Unlike Wanda who had to fight to stay alive if her powers didn't take."

"She's like Wanda then, or something more?" Steve reluctantly played along as Raven delicately fussed over the pot. Anything to keep Raven talking. "Those men in there were torn apart. Did she do that with her mind?"

"How much do you know about telekinesis?" Raven asked as she found a can of whole tomatoes and poured its contents into the pot. "The possibilities, the impact it can have on the carrier of the ability?"

Steve floundered. "It's more than just moving stuff with your mind?"

"Wanda is unique because she can manipulate thoughts and use memories to inspire certain reactions… Like in the movie Inception. You can tangibly see her powers; visible kinetic energy. Which is remarkable from a scientist's standpoint. Although considering where her powers came from it's a hollow rip off from what the specter was truly capable of." She shook a hefty portion of basil into the pot. "Ilya is more than that. She can move things with her mind yes, but that's just the surface of what she can do. If you wanted to get really technical you can say she could tap into magnetic fields and hone radio waves. She has an endless list of possibilities before her."

"And those men?" Steve pressed once more.

"Much like how Wanda can tear things apart. Ilya is no different." Raven stirred the pot once more, without a care. "As a child, she's more likely to have bursts of power, spurred on by fear, anger or joy. Unlike Wanda who was politely tortured, Ilya had gentler hands."

"You. You trained her." Steve glared at her. "Did you teach her to do that?"

"Didn't you used to squash bugs when you were a kid?" Raven huffed hotly. "Weren't you ever curious of what would happen to a bug when you pulled it apart? Did you ever cry for ants or cockroaches when you killed them? She would have learned to pull things apart without me having to teach her. And for the record," she snapped, "I'm only teaching her because not teaching her is irresponsible."

Steve put his hands at his hips, stumped. She had made a good point, but Ilya was dangerously powerful. "Does she have any family?"

"An orphan who was systematically erased from any consensus." She lifted her spoon to taste the sauce. "Needs something… She only knows me and my friends. She's slowly forgetting her life before, only a few vague things are burned into her memory. But in a few years she might not remember anything but me saving her from that rusty base."

"How old was she when you found her?"

"Six. Meaning that she only has two years of bad memories to forget. Typically no one remembers their early childhood memories. I researched it."

She thinks of everything, Steve thought, mildly impressed. "Has anyone told you, you're frightening calculating?"

Raven smiled. "Is that a compliment or a criticism?"

He ignored her sudden change of mood. "What was the point of saving her?"

"Do you really want a worse version of me running around in ten years? An abandoned little girl who never had family, warmth and love, with the power to tear my enemies apart?" Raven tutted at him. "I took her in because it was the right thing to do. I'd be almost insulted if that didn't imply you think I'm that cunning." She added somberly, "I don't use children."

"Sorry… I didn't peg you as the nurturing type."

Raven blinked, she didn't expect that. "Because I wasn't nurtured? If you must know I vividly remember some of the best times with my mother. Even more with the only nice foster family I had. Enough to know that children need support and unconditional love." She turned to face Steve. "If your parents hadn't loved you, if you're mother had been a monster, who might have you become? If the wrong people had been the pillars of your most impressionable years, who might have the dashing Captain America had become?"

"Easy does it," Steve grumbled with a relaxing posture. "I don't need a speech."

Raven giggled, "Sorry. I guess that's the Stark in me, eh?" She whispered the last part like it was a playful, dirty secret.

"Maybe." Steve couldn't help but chortle to himself.

"You know, I'm not a colossal bitch all the time." She handed him the spoon. "What do you think the soup needs?"

Steve tastes the sauce, he hums appreciatively. "Tastes okay to me."

"I think it needs some garlic powder." She goes to the spice rack. "Ilya loves it when it has extra garlic."

"Then by all means." He leans back, observing Raven carefully adding extra garlic, simply to comfort the sleeping child in his bed. "This is what you do, protect the people you care about?"

Raven lifted her head, thinking about his strange choice of words. "I don't have much that I care about. I do my best to keep them safe, even it's from myself."

Steve raised his brow, with a vague smile. "No wonder you and Tony are so close. You sound just like Bruce – Banner, the Hulk," he supplied in case she didn't know. "I was wondering how he bonded with you so fast, since you're pretty guarded."

"By guarded, did you mean weird and non-verbal?" Teased Raven.

"Don't put words in my mouth. Let me try the soup now." He helped himself to a spoonful. "Hearty," he decreed.

"I'm kinda obsessed with tomatoes. Don't laugh," she warned. "My mum used to make my tomato soup with crackers when I sad or sick. The tradition lives on."

"You remember her? Your mother. You were pretty young when she died." It felt nicer to say died, than murdered.

Raven turned the stove to a low heat and went to set the table. "I dream of her mostly. I can… stick her face in isolated memories, forced myself to remember her voice. But she's more like these bundle of triggers, that make me think about her when I see them. Like flowers," she explained. "She loved carnations, pink ones especially. Her boyfriend used to surprise her with little bouquets which always had the house smelling like flowers. One time I remember picking up a bee off a petal and being so amazed it didn't sting me. Whenever I hear her favorite song I can picture her sitting at my bed singing it to me, or humming it in the kitchen."

"What was her favorite song?"

"That's amore by Dean Martin. I think she had a thing for suave brunette drunks. I personally like Sinatra more, but she loved that song. Sang it non-stop. Especially when she made pasta." Raven sighed achingly. "You know what she used to call me? Magpie. After that stupid rhyme about baking birds in a pie. The woman was freaking obsessed with birds – Jesus, I've gone and upset meself." She blinked away her tears.

"She sounded nice," Steve said sympathetically. He wanted to add more on that statement but it didn't feel like his place to. "She really loved you."

Raven said nothing for a moment, stirring the pot almost mechanically. "You know, you were right about me. I'm not a nice person." She sighed, "I do manipulate people, I enjoy it sometimes, twisting people this way and that to get me way." She turned to face him, eyes solemn. "I was trained to study you lot, the Avengers, figure out how you ticked and use those aspects to concoct ways of killing you. I basically was a huge think tank for you immovable objects."

"Yeah?"

"It started to fascinate me a little. Knowing how to trick people, unknowingly to do what I wanted," she went on. "I tested it one day, in the worst way imaginable."

"What did you want?"

"To hurt my handler. It was after he messed up my back and frankly the worst summer of my life. I lost sleep thinking of the ways I could get at him, it consumed me." She inhaled sharply. "I had a bad run in with a bloke at Felix's house, he was drunk of his arse and tried something. Didn't get very far since he was drunk but I was ready to kill him, and anybody who wanted to hurt me again."

"I'm sorry-"

"Don't," she snapped. "I'm over it, girl's have gone through worse and it looked worse than it actually was. I never blamed Felix for what happened. Never. But it got me thinking. That is a horrible thing to happen, and so many people acted like I was grown up anyways. I half wanted Felix to tell Janos just for him to be upset but Felix might have paid for it. So a few months later I'm at a party, rubbing elbows with the corrupt and sadistic, and me and Janos have a fight."

"About?"

"It doesn't matter, but I was so angry. I had saved someone and was wounded for it. Abandoned by my unofficial father and damn near molested by a drunk. I thought, it's about high time I get mine. So I run out the party, like a mad dog and I hop into the first car I see is about to come into the party. I met a man, young but much older than me. Everyone knows me in those circles by name or association, and they all know I'm Janos's girl."

"Did you do… something?" Steve asked hesitantly.

"No," she said. "I convince him to take me to his place. And we just talk. Nothing gross or condescending, we talk. Turns out, he hated Janos for turning him down for a dinner party-slash-business deal. Janos is a fussy old bird, hoity toity sort. I called him Rasputin. He had that type of vibe to him, a polished wildness. He took offense that a man who turned a child into a weapon and glorified sociopath, had talk for him. So we concocted a plan and a partnership."

"I don't follow…"

"You remember those girls I mentioned days ago, the ones who get info for me? Well, I met them through Rasputin, that man I killed was a rival of Rasputin's. Follow? Any money I make under the table, any scheme I do behind Hydra's back, was thanks to him and benefited him." She saw he was lost and continued. "You and the Avengers had Tony and Shield supplying your weapons and safe houses, and general needs. Rasputin keeps my secret funds and is a safe hold for my traitorous exploits."

"What did he get out of it?"

"Money, amusement, security, insider info on global conflicts and I guess, a cleaner conscience."

"But you said you did something horrible. What was it?"

Raven pauses after she puts the last plate down. Gripping the back of a chair she slowly explained, "To hurt Janos, I had to do something that would disgust and gut him at the same time. He loved to poke fun at how much I wanted to know Tony, how I admired him. Any time I acted like – a tart, he brought up me mum and Tony to put me in my place. But deep down, and bare with me if you don't get it, he wanted the quote-unquote best for me. And when I was little, he was everything to me."

She cleared her voice, kicking down any emotion. "I thought about how torn up Felix was after that night, how he did anything and everything to make me happy. I thought about Janos keeping me close whenever men got too cheeky, and a terrible, ugly thought came to mind… Rasputin had joked with me how plenty of men fancied me because I was young and old at the same time. How it feels less horrible because I'm a precocious genius, and it's true. Things don't scare me if I can understand them. That man in my bedroom didn't scare me because the acid on my back – that unfortunate accident, haunts me to this day more than a man staggering into my room, fighting with a belt buckle."

"What happened to him?"

"Felix shot him. I couldn't very well tell him that that was entirely unnecessary after the fact could I? That it was alright because what my handler did felt much worse to me than a stranger almost hurting me. How would have you reacted? He probably deserved it some way or the other, but it's pointless to care about it now."

"I see…"

"Anyways me and Rasputin decided we're going to spread a rumor and let it manifest. I spend two days with him, we hangout, play cards, videos games and make plans. One of his favorites, delighted with this scheme coaches me on how to play it off if Janos questions me. I dress for the part, and the piece de resistance, that sells it. I let Felix see me, and his horror and sorrow is what convinces Janos and sets fire to my lie."

Steve reels. "You let your best friend think… to get back at your handler."

"I tried to hint that it may not be what it seemed, but he wanted me to say it and I couldn't." She clicked her tongue in frustration. "I mean it wasn't that hard if you thought about it. My body is littered with scars Steve, I was a skeleton of a girl from stress and pills, why would I take my bloody clothes off for anyone? I don't even own a proper bathing suit."

Steve who struggled with body issues of his own could relate to the feeling of inadequacy and ugliness. "And the other rumors?" Wanda had mentioned one to the Avengers weeks ago.

"Oh the Pretty Baby story?" She giggled. "That one I had no part in. You see the boys liked to call me Lolita. I corrected them and told him how the Lolita concept is a complete misconception made popular by greasy old men. Naturally they were cross about that, me spoiling their fun with logic and facts. That same year I had the biggest crush on Brooke Shields, eighties Brooke Shields mind you. Someone caught me watching Blue Lagoon and word spread." She grinned shyly. "Mind you Brooke Shields starred in a controversial film about a child prostitute when she was twelve, it's a disgusting film about things that did happen regularly in the old days. It was called Pretty Baby, and hence people started calling me that, because it was an unquestionable alternative for Lolita."

"So you let all of this get out of hand because you wanted to hurt your handler? Without telling anyone?" He nodded at her dedication. "That is horrible."

His twinge of judgment made her scowl. "You do realize everyday girls and boys lie about sex? People spread rumors at all ages, I just took it to a whole other level. Eun Gi of course is the only person who knows I haven't done anything, for obvious reasons. But she plays along for my benefit. She thinks it funny people fancy me a slag."

Steve didn't find it as funny. "Doesn't it get tiring being accused of something you're not?"

"No," she confessed. "Because all they do is talk. Besides because everyone had their piece to say, and everyone thought I was damaged goods. I was left alone because I wasn't special anymore. Frankly it did more good than harm."

"Are you serious?" He was baffled. "Everyone left you alone because…"

"They all thought I'd been around the block many times?" She chortled darkly. "I know right? So bizarre. And Janos was livid by it all. His perfect little bug running amok like her no-good biological father, oh yes, he was pissed." She grinned, "He was so reviled he didn't even want to look at me."

"You wanted to drive him away," Steve realized. "And Eun Gi knew about it?"

"I trust no one more," she said. "I swore she was going to be done with me when I told her, but she stuck by me. She said Felix would get over it. I only managed to live with it because I had her to keep it straight." She tapped the side of her head.

Steve regarded Raven evenly, in the honest light. "So tell me were you ever going to kill us?"

"In what aspect?" She wondered. "If I stayed in Hydra or presently?"

"Both."

"Well," she hummed, "naturally if I stayed in Hydra, I probably would have, with much delay as possible." She rubbed her face thinking it over. "I mean if I didn't, I would have ended up in that torture bunker which defeats the purpose. But since I got out, I got no cause to kill you. Believe it or not I respect people with better morals than me. It's so easy to be a monster, to cut and slice yourself to safety."

"Eun Gi loves you so you can't be that big of a monster."

His tone was encouraging but Raven heard the tinge of envy. "I killed her father. He was the man who wanted to turn her into the Winter Soldier. I stabbed him in the back and chest, and that girl chose me anyways… I'm more afraid of her than anyone in the world, because she knows that I'm all talk underneath the whole theatrics. Knows me, blood, horror and all. It's scary, to have someone look at the bad and say, yeah, I want piece of that."

Steve paused, he was so numb to Raven's stories he'd believe anything at this point. "It is scary."

"Word of the wise and noisy Steve, don't be a pussy." He opened his mouth to retort but Raven stopped him and touched his shoulder. "Don't. Be. A. Pussy."

He smiled at her. "People watcher… I forgot."

She turned back to the pot. "It's not obvious, to those who don't have their eyes open but I've been there. You shouldn't be afraid, it doesn't suit you."

Steve chuckled, "I'll keep that in mind. You know, when you get past being a master manipulator, you're not so bad."

Raven snickered, "Now I know that was a compliment."

"Well, you kinda earned it."

"Because I called you a dickhead?" Raven giggled as she searched for something to serve the soup with. "Or because I won you over with another tale of woe?" She found a huge spoon and settled for that.

"A bit of both," he confessed. "The only person who ever talks to me like that are my friends, and even then no one got in my face like you did. Plus you did say you respect me a little," he gladly reminded her.

"Take that with a pinch of salt," she warned warmly. "Your head will swell." She playfully smacked his jaw. "Now you go and get the others, I'll wake up the baby. If we gotta face Tony who's going to likely losing his shit, might as well be on a full stomach."

"Sounds like a plan." Steve said. The two shared a look of camaraderie as they went of to do their respective tasks.

* * *

Raven knocked softly on the door of Steve's bedroom. Ilya was still on edge from what happened, sneaking up on her would reap more accidents. Opening the door she saw that Ilya had sat up visibly tense but relaxed greatly when she saw it was Raven. They had yet to talk about what was going on. So when she started crying Raven knew it wasn't just because she killed people.

"It's okay," she soothed, coming to sit beside her. "It's okay Illie."

"You came back…" She hiccuped.

"I told you I would," she said as she pulled Ilya close. She had managed to change her clothes while she slept and put her in a huge t-shirt from Bucky. Her dress was going to need a serious soak if the blood was ever going to come out. "Do you know where you are?" Ilya shook her head. "Okay, you're in America, we're in a place called Brooklyn. You know Brooklyn right, where they really love baseball?"

"I think so…"

"Okay," Raven breathed. "Now tell me, what do you know about what's going on?"

Ilya scooted close to Raven, burrowing into her side. "Everyone said you were dead, but you're not. What's going on?"

Rubbing her back gently she gathered Ilya into her lap. "Remember what I told you about the bad men? How I work for them because I have to?"

"Yes…"

"Well, the bad men realized that I was pretending to be one of them, a bad guy. So they took me away and locked me up. They used tricks to make people think I died. But I wasn't. I was in a bad place for a very long time and when I got out I was very hurt. And other people found me. Understand?" She caressed her wet cheek.

"More bad men?" Ilya whimpered.

"No," Raven shook her head. "They were good guys. But they thought I was bad since I came from a bad place. When they figured out I was being hurt they wanted to help me, and I was scared of them at first."

"You're never scared…"

"I was then though. I was in the dark for so long, I thought these strange people might hurt me for my secrets. And I knew they wouldn't send me home because to them everyone we know is bad. So I kept my mouth shut, but I never forgot about you lot. Never. You have to believe that."

"Promise?" Ilya sniffled.

"Cross my heart. I just wanted to make sure it was safe before I said anything, understand?" She petted the top of Ilya's head. "Because a lot of things are going to be different… But first, we're going to get something to eat and then we're going to go for another long drive."

"To where?"

"Up town." She pointed vaguely in the direction where Manhattan would be. "You know those movies we watch, with the big city and the tall tall buildings. That's where we're going."

"Why?" Ilya fretted. "Can't we stay here? Are more bad men chasing us?" She asked frantically.

"No bad men are chasing us," Raven assured her. "That's where I'm staying. I live in a very big big building now." She pulled out her phone and googled the Tower. "This one."

Despite her panic, Ilya was awestruck by Avengers Tower. It was like nothing she ever saw before. Nothing in Spain compared to the futuristic splendor Tony designed. "Wow…"

"I know." Raven smiled. "And that's not all, there are going to be some people there." She googled a picture of Pepper and Tony in one of their publicity photos. "Them."

Ilya blinked, her head swinging to one side. She knew Tony's face, but not Pepper's. "That's Iron Man…"

"It is," Raven said. "And that's Pepper, his girlfriend. And that big building is where they live and I live with them now. The other Avengers visit too."

"You live with the Avengers? Are you going to be a superhero?" There was a twinge of excitement in her voice that Raven didn't expect. At least she was less frightened now.

"Uhhh no, I'm not supposed to fight so much anymore." She laughed shyly at the idea of being an Avenger. "… One last big thing then we go eat, okay?"

"What?" Ilya wondered.

Here it was, the big atom bomb. Raven took a deep breath contemplating her words carefully. "Remember how I said I had a daddy that I never met, but I knew who he was?" Ilya nodded. "How he was why the bad men took me away?" Again she bobbed her head. "That's him." She tapped Tony's face. "And that's why I'm living with him now. Do you understand?"

If Ilya's skull could have imploded it would have. Her jaw dropped and she looked from Stark to Stark, trying to pair them together. "Your daddy is Iron Man… You are a superhero," she gasped. "Do you have a cool suit too?"

"God no," she snorted. "Not my style love. But you'll like Tony and Pepper, they're really really nice." She ruffled her hair. "And I know they'll love you too."

"You think so?" Ilya muttered suddenly unsure. "He won't think I'm strange?"

"Love, if he can like me, he'll love you." She added slyly, "And if you ask really nicely, maybe he'll let you touch his suit."

Ilya's eyes went wide like the moon. Being from another era, technology was practically magic to her. Anything new and a little tricky to understand enthralled her. Tony's suit was her first big obsession. How can it fly so fast if it's metal? Why do you think he made it red and gold? How did he make it? How can it fly without wings? Tony and Ilya were going to be two peas in a pod. Raven couldn't wait for Ilya to meet him, she found it so hard to open up to anyone but her. Maybe since Tony was her father she might feel more comfortable around him.

"Really?"

"You bet. Now come on, let's go eat something." She got up and gestured for Ilya to take her hand. Ilya instead lunged for her wrists with both hands. Her urgent grip barely made Raven flinch. "What is it love?"

"You're not leaving me with them, are you?" She asked with tears growing in her eyes. "Is that why you want me to like Iron Man so much? You're not going away, are you?" Her small fists clutched Raven's shirt.

"You don't have to like Tony if you don't want to Illie." She knelt down before her, cupping her cheek. "I'm not going away like before. I only did that because I knew the bad men were coming. I thought I was keeping you safe. I won't leave you again, I promise."

Illya sniffled, wiping her face with her hands. "Promise you're not leaving again?"

"I swear," she vowed. "I'm never leaving you."

Ilya wrapped her arms around Raven's neck, damp face nuzzling her throat. Her body shook with soft sobs and Raven let her cry, rubbing her back until they stopped. "Shhh," she hushed, "shhhh. It's okay now, I'm here and I won't go away. I'm here and I won't go away. I'm here and I won't go away."

" **You're all I have."**

Raven wanted to say that wasn't true; Ilya had Eun Gi, Felix and Kyung Gi, and yet she ended up in danger. What Ilya meant, in her limited vocabulary was that she had no one who understood like Raven, someone she can be herself with. Raven knew what that was like, Janos had been that person, then it was Felix and now it was Eun Gi. Without these people coming in and out at the right times in her life, Raven would have drown in her own madness.

She held her tighter whispering softly. **"I know. I know. But I'm here now, okay? I'm here and I am not going anywhere, do you understand?"**

Ilya nodded furiously, yet she couldn't shake her fear. **"They were going to take you away from me."**

" **No one can take me away from you. No one, you hear me?"** She pulled away to look Ilya in her eyes. **"I will say this as many times as you need me to, I am not going anywhere Ilya. No one is going to take me away from you. And if they try, I swear to you I will come back… Somehow."**

Ilya took a deep breath and let go of her anxiety for now. She cuddled into Raven's arms once more, not for urgent comfort but just to be held. Raven kissed the top of her head, noting the faint smell of blood still there. She was going to need some of Tony's fancy shampoo to get that odor out. The first and only time she used it she smelled like exotic flowers for days. That might be the only thing to get her fully clean. Raven didn't let on that the smell was still there, she smiled down at Ilya planting one last kiss on her temple.

"Better now love?"

"Yeah," breathed Ilya, wiping her nose on her arm.

* * *

 **Just a quick shout out to the reviewer who let me know which Gaelic the Irish speak; thanks so much for letting me know.**

 **Thanks as always for your reviews and feedback, keep it coming and you know the drill. Until next time.**


	34. Chapter 34

**Chapter 34**

When Raven came in with her unofficial goon squad Tony and Pepper could tell she was waiting for them to lose their cool. She cautiously approached them a little girl in her arms, dead asleep in an oversized shirt, wrapped around Raven like a sloth. This was the little girl Felix told him about. Her hair was much longer now but, her chubby face was unmistakable; this was Ilya, another victim of Hydra. Tony and Pepper might have been livid with everyone in the room but they weren't going to fight about it, not tonight anyways.

"Take her up to your room," Tony relented with a sigh. "Friday will keep an eye on her."

As Raven and Eun Gi went upstairs to put Ilya down, Tony turned his fury towards the super soldiers. Like it or not, they were the adults and the most responsible out the quartet of rebels. He held them, Steve most of all, completely at fault. His voice was venomous enough to make Howard Stark's corpse shudder.

"The first time I decide to fully trust you Rogers. The first time I leave my kid in your care, this is what you do?"

Steve felt his disappointment like a physical blow. "Tony… It was an emergency."

"Raven gets to make that excuse, because she's freaking sixteen!" Roared Tony. "Not you, a man who's nearly one hundred years old! Not someone who knows how easily the most basic mission can go up in smoke! I goddamn trusted you, after everything, and you stab me in the back!"

"There was a little girl involved," Steve again protested. "Everything was under control," he added.

"Did Raven tell you to say that?" Tony sneered, he wouldn't be surprised if Raven coached him. "Because you're not that smart to dare tell me that." He struggled to get his words straight. Until he looked at Steve, it was so simple to say, you messed up and put my child in danger. Now he was feeling the weight of those words. Raven could have been hurt or worse because Steve couldn't be an adult. He hadn't learned anything about their feud over the Sokovia Accords. He was still choosing his ideals over common sense.

"Tony, please," Steve pleaded.

"You drove my daughter into danger like you were taking her to prom!" Tony got into his face. "You heard what the Doc said, you've seen her bruises and you couldn't freaking keep her in one spot and called me? All you had to do was call me, Steve!" He pointed to Raven's door. "That's my daughter. I know I've barely known her for a couple months, but dammit I care about that kid. If anything happened to her on your watch," he seethed.

Steve's fight died down and he surrendered with a heavy nod. But Tony was hardly satisfied, this wasn't about proving Steve wrong.

"You can't even say it and mean it… Dammit Rogers."

Even Pepper was furious with Steve and Bucky. She stood beside Tony in a night robe, arms crossed. "I expected more from you Bucky," she scolded. "I know you want to be Raven's friend but you two are the adults. You aren't Avengers when something like this happens, Raven is your priority."

Bucky feebly apologized. "I know but, it was a little girl. Raven would have done something stupid if we didn't go along with her."

"If you want to be left alone with her outside of this Tower you will figure out how to never let this happen again." She narrowed her eyes at the both of them. "I usually stay out with your fights but I'm with Tony. We're responsible for Raven, she isn't an agent or an Avenger-in-training, she's a child. Tony's child. And if you can't respect our rules, you won't be allowed to do anything with her outside this house or without one of us with you. I mean it."

Like Steve he bowed out seeing no point in proving his innocence. It was at this time, the girls came back into the room. Raven immediately threw herself between Tony and Steve. This was new, weirdly and frighteningly new.

"He's right, I goaded him into it. Don't be cross with Steve and Bucky, it's my fault."

Pepper was glad she had finally gotten over whatever fear she had of Steve but Tony was less preoccupied with that. He held Raven gently by her shoulders. "Princess, I know you're used to running the show but if that bulging super soldier can get pushed around by you, he needs a new a job."

She scowled adorably, proving that she had no clue how serious this was. How scared he had been. "Sweetie," Pepper attempted to reason with her. "You may be a genius, possibly the smartest person in the world but you can still get hurt and that would devastate us. Do you understand?" She cupped her face. "We were terrified Raven."

Raven blinked slowly, reviewing their words. "I… I had to help Ilya. I couldn't wait – I couldn't…"

"We don't blame you," Tony assured her. "When an adult looks after a kid, it's his job to make the right decisions to keep that kid safe. Even if said dare devil thinks we're all overreacting."

"It was hardly daring," she grumbled.

"That was not a challenge," Tony stubbornly chuckled. He pulled Raven into his arms. "If you do this again, I'm blocking you out the WiFi and moving Eun Gi downstairs."

"Hey!" Eun Gi whined. "Why do you I have to be punished too?"

"My house my rules Thelma and Louise," he equipped. "Got it?"

"Fine," the girls sighed. "We're sorry," they echoed.

Despite the hollow apology, it was more than what Bucky and Steve gave him and Tony accepted it. He gave Raven one more hug, planting a kiss on her forehead. She lifted her gaze upward and his gripped tightened slightly. He wasn't going to lose anymore family, not to Hydra or the Avengers. Raven was going to live a long life, a full life, he'd make sure of it.

"Tony," Raven groaned. "You're squashing me."

"Sorry!" He immediately let go. How could he forget how bruised up she was? Had he hurt her? "Are you ok-?"

She waved him off. "I'm fine, I'm fine… Let's just not fight anymore, please?"

If Raven was a child who begged often he might have been offended at the obvious puppy eyes she was giving him. Instead he nodded, reaching to ruffle her perpetually messy hair. He could really love this kid with all his heart.

"Only if you say, pretty please," he teased.

* * *

Raven had gravely miscalculated, something she rarely did. In saving Ilya she had created a rift between the Avengers, which was no good since she just befriended Steve. A fine mess she made. Although she knew the facts of what damage the Sokovia Accords did to the Avengers and Shield, she had no clue about the emotional damage. She only thought of the tactical and professional implications, not at all how this personally affected everyone. Were Tony and Pepper going to cut off Steve and Bucky because she bullied them into following her? It wasn't their fault she knew how to stick pins into their bleeding hearts. Raven had to fix this somehow, this was her mess. But how? Tony had reacted so protectively, Raven had no idea what to do. No one had stuck up for her like that, ever. Tony was ready to throttle America's Golden Son for her, a Hydra defector. She touched and terrified; Tony cared for her, he and Pepper actually cared for her. Maybe even loved her.

Don't freak out, she thought taking a deep breath. Don't freak out.

"Mmmh?" Ilya moaned beside her. She rolled from the edge of the bed, onto Raven's chest, cuddling to her warmth.

Raven winced at the sudden pressure but she didn't move Ilya. She wrapped her arms around her, supporting her. Turning her head she found the opposite side of her bed empty, Eun Gi must have already gone downstairs. Since Raven started her new medication routine she actually slept decent hours, not like when she woke up before anyone else if she slept at all. What time is it? She couldn't help but wonder. Lifting a hand she tried reaching for her phone that Eun Gi was kind enough to leave in the bed. Her fingers were just inches from it when it flew off the bed.

"Illie," said Raven. "Can I have my phone please?"

She whined guiltily. "Don't get up yet."

"Why?" Raven wondered with a small laugh. "Aren't you hungry?"

Illya shook her head, nuzzling her head into Raven's collar bone. "I had a bad dream."

"Oh?" Raven held Illya gently close as she moved into to lie beside her. "Tell me about it," she said, situating her into the crook of her arm. Petting her face she pressed, "Was it about bad men?"

Illya sniffled, "They took you away again, and put me into a dark room. I kept trying to get away but it was so dark. I kept waiting for you to come back but you never did."

"But I'm here now, aren't I?" She rested her head against hers. "And the bad men won't come here, not with all the Avengers here. That would be very stupid of them."

"But what if you go away again and they come back?" Illya looked up at her, ready to burst into tears. "Everything was so awful when you went away. Eun Gi and Kyung Gi got into a nasty fight, Felix was so sad and everything was awful."

"He was?" Raven knew, logically, that her friends would miss her. They were all close and practically lived together at times. She hadn't once imagine what it must feel like to miss someone so terribly. During her torture it was easy to bury those thoughts in comforting martyrdom, sacrificing herself so they could be safe and be better one day. Now she was back and had to face them, along with those feelings she left them with. Raven would have found it easier to die.

"He cried all day, and drank cognacs forever. Some nights he would break things." She clung to Raven. "And Eun Gi just vanished and Kyung Gi was so moody."

"Kyung Gi is always moody," Raven pointed out. "I can't imagine him being even grumpier."

"He was!" Illya insisted. "I heard him tell Pretty Boy, without Raven everything falls to pieces. So you can't ever leave, ever again. Promise."

"Hey, hey, hey," Raven soothed. "I'm here aren't I? Look at me, look at me, I'm right here, next to you." She touched her face. "Feel my hand?"

"Yes."

She pinched her cheek lightly. "Feel that?"

"Yes."

She kissed the spot she pinched. "And that?"

"Yes."

"And how about this?" She lifted her shirt and blew a raspberry on her stomach.

Ilya squealed. "Raven that tickles!"

"Does it?" Raven feigned surprise. "Huh, let's see if this does." And she proceeded to tickle her stomach, sides and toes. "Tickles?"

Ilya sprung on the bed, half trying to get away from Raven's nimble fingers. "Raven, stop, stop, stop!"

"Never!" Roared Raven scooping Illya into her arms, blowing another loud raspberry into her neck before relenting. Panting beside her she said, "Ready to get up?"

"We'll go down together right?" Ilya asked hesitantly.

"Of course we will. You can stick with me as long as you need to." She ruffled her messy hair. "And if anyone makes you uncomfortable you let me know, right?"

"You'll tell them to back off," Ilya echoed automatically. That brought a smile on her face. Even though Ilya could easily kill any Avenger in the Tower, she was too scared to defend herself. She looked to Raven to protect her.

"Absolutely. Now come on stinky, time to shower." Like she used to when Ilya was younger, she gathered the child into her arms and took her to the bathroom. As suspected Ilya gladly clung to Raven secretly craving the missed contact. Oddly enough caring for a child came naturally to her. Helping Ilya bathe, wash her hair, teaching her how to tie her shoes, tucking her in after making up stories for her, playing silly games for hours. It was never a chore for her, and Ilya welcomed the mothering. Logically it built trust between them, no one could control her unless it was Raven. Yet crueler men have done more with less tenderness but Raven didn't want a soldier.

Small things made Ilya feel more at home, like playing music on her iPod as she showered. It was a habit Raven had from being left alone for weeks at a time. Music made a house feel less empty and Ilya got used to it. She hadn't played much music since she came to the Tower, being in silence for so long made it hard to be her old self again. There wasn't much to sing and dance for. Now it felt natural and safe at last to let her guard down.

It was especially helping Ilya who sang along, practicing her English while Raven dried her hair. Music had also helped her with integrating Ilya to the modern age. Explaining how music was weird because machines had been made and new styles had been invented. Bringing her out her shell with cheery pop songs and helping her practice her powers using the beats. It all worked out. Even now as Ilya hummed, wiggling her fingers making several items on the countertop bounced along. Music introduced her to things like Sia, and children doing other things than killing people, she loved to sing or whistle the themes of her favorite cartoons. Raven wasn't at all afraid of how Ilya would integrate with the Avengers. One major cartoon she encouraged Ilya to like was Gravity Falls. In no time Ilya was going to be acting like her favorite characters off to explore these new people.

"Are the Avengers nice?" Ilya wondered abruptly.

"They'll want to talk your ear off," Raven assured her. "Do you want to know who I like best out of all of them?"

"Who?" Ilya eagerly demanded. "The one with yellow hair?" She guessed.

"Steve?" Raven snorted. "Yes he's alright but my favorite is the one with the metal arm. His name is Bucky."

"Backy?" Ilya echoed, confused. "He looked scary."

"He's a sweetheart and he's a very good friend of mine." Raven finished drying her hair and tossed it up in a loose ponytail. "He's a little shy."

"You're always friends with scary looking people," Ilya lamented. "… He's really nice?"

"Sure he is." Raven nodded. "He's very sweet and he gives really good piggy back rides."

"He does not," giggled Ilya.

"Of course he does, big, muscle man like him. He's practically made for piggy back rides." Seeing how Ilya was still a little hesitant she ventured further. "You want to know which Crystal Gem he's like?"

Raven found it was easier to explain complicated things with Ilya's favorite cartoon characters as guides. Lately she started using Steven Universe since Gravity Falls didn't have much of an ensemble cast. So far it worked pretty well.

"Jasper?"

Of course Ilya would pick a buff, rogue soldier to describe Bucky.

"Lapis," Raven corrected. "He was kept away somewhere, like you for a very very very long time, and that's why he looks a little scary. But Lapis isn't so scary is she?"

"Lapis is weird."

"And so is Bucky. But is she bad?"

"No," admitted Ilya. "So Backy is like Lapis Lazuli? Can he control water too?"

"No," giggled Raven. "He's super strong and has a metal arm, that's about it."

No point confusing her this early on. Now all she had to do was think of a fictional equivalent for every single person in the house. My work never ceases, she thought.

* * *

"I agree with Tony."

Steve gaped at Natasha as if she slapped him. "What?" He asked. After what happened last night Steve went to the only person who's words he held dear; Natasha. Who in turn told him he was wrong. The shock had him reeling glancing at the remaining Avengers for help. They didn't offer much aid.

"I agree with him Steve," she repeated. "You shouldn't have done that, child or not. What if something had happened to Raven, what if she got even a scratch on her?"

"She had me and Buck covering her," he argued.

"You two can't stop death," she reminded him. "We've all lost someone, despite all our skills and talents, we lost people. And Raven isn't just anyone."

"That's the damn point!"

Natasha shook her head surprised at him. "Just a while ago you were convinced Tony wasn't smart enough to make decisions for all of us, and you trust Raven after how many weeks of knowing her?"

Steve hadn't seen it that way. What was it about Raven that he trusted more than Tony? She was brutally honest, manipulative, a soldier and loyal to destruction. She had a good heart, tender to those weaker and in need, she was a child. Compared to bombastic, larger than life Tony, who couldn't shut up even after you punched him, with feeble impulse control, Raven was a bundle of inconsistencies. Which she told him, and it made him trust her. Had that been her plan?

"Raven's… different."

Bucky muttered, "What did you talk about in the kitchen yesterday?" To the others he added, "He didn't tell me."

Sam was now intrigued. "Did she play you? Is that what this is?"

"She didn't play me!" Steve snapped, officially offended. He told them precisely the same thing he told Bucky. "We had a heart to heart, and despite everything I said made her untrustworthy… I trust her now."

"Oh, she played you," Sam scoffed. "She told you what you needed to hear and in the right way and you fell for it. She's good," he murmured to himself. "I bet she's up there right now, baby on the hip spinning her web -"

It was what Raven did, she admitted it. She sounded ashamed of herself when she said it, mournful of this compulsive habit of hers. Sam said it like slander, and Steve couldn't stand it. She had been protecting her friends, a _child,_ he had done no less for Bucky. Maybe with less finesse and more fist fights. A glorified street fight in an airport, Raven had called it.

"Don't talk about her like that!" He tailored his volume. "She's more than that, you didn't see her with that little girl. You need to see her," he pleaded.

"Stalin had children," Natasha pointed out. "A daughter he doted on in fact."

"That's a stretch Tasha," said Clint. "Look Steve, we're just a little worried about how fast you became Team Raven all of a sudden. Overnight," he stressed. "Especially considering she was paralyzed with fear when she first laid eyes on you. I think the kid is a likable weirdo myself, but you… I suspect foul play."

Steve made a dissatisfied noise. "So I'm the jerk now?"

"You always were," grumbled Bucky, still slighted.

"You wanted me to like her!" Accused Steve.

"Boys don't fight," Natasha calmly asked. Her plea fell on death ears.

"I did!" Shouted Bucky. He got up from his seat, getting in Steve's face. "I do! But she told you something that changed your whole mind about her, in a matter of hours. I couldn't convince you to like her for weeks, and she says a few things to you and you're ready to fight us for pointing out -"

"Who's fighting?" Bellowed Steve. "I already told you -"

"You didn't!" Snapped Bucky. "You didn't tell me anything, and I knew it was big because I heard you two sharing some kind of joke. What did she tell you?" He demanded. "Was it about her mother, because I heard that story too. Was it something about her handler, I met the guy and I know what a bastard he is, and I wanna break his neck. So what was it?"

Those were facts and partially what Raven told him but that wasn't what they talked about. She did talk about herself but she was entirely open, showing weakness and cunning simultaneously. The way she talked about her handler wasn't of grief or rotten love, she still cared about him in her own way. And in her own words, she said that he cared about her. She was raised by a monster who raised her to be like him, the way parents often did. Raven knew love and because she chose good she lost it. Did Raven's handler feel regret from what he did? It hadn't been a deliberate attack. He did care for her afterwards, albeit questionably. Had he tried to make things right and Raven in fear and betrayal pushed him away? They were bad for each other when Hydra was involved but, Raven called him her "everything". That word twisted his heart because it made him think of Howard Stark, his friend who became a bitter and abusive father to his teammate. Had Janos, a man who decided to raise a temporary ward as his child, once been a good man?

"She charmed you," Wanda revealed.

"Well it is Raven," said Pietro, not at all surprised.

It reminded Steve of the story they told him, the Pretty Baby rumor that got out of hand. Fiercely he defended Raven. "Don't talk about her like that."

"About what?" Pietro backed up in his seat. "I'm only saying it's nothing we haven't heard before."

"And I'm telling you to shut up about it!" Steve slammed his fist into a wall, leaving a hole. "I don't want to hear about those things anymore, ever!"

If they wanted to know the real Raven then they to stop this charade she had manufactured for herself. Let her be a kid, or at least have a chance to herself. His first step was stopping this type of talk. Even if everyone thought it was a fact, it was not. His friends and his teammates stared at him like he lost his mind. Vision who had been mute for most of the argument finally spoke up.

"I take it, you and Miss Raven bonded over some sort of compromise. And we are to make a stronger effort to befriend her?"

"Finally, someone gets it," Steve sighed.

* * *

 **I'm so sorry about slipping back on updates guys, December is the most hectic month. I hope you guys enjoy the chapter, as always reviews help and critiques are welcomed. See you guys in the New Year!**

 **Anotherscribe**


	35. Chapter 35

**Chapter 35**

Tony hadn't told Raven that her two best friends were in the Tower. It felt like too much after what happened yesterday. Instead he was planning the best surprise ever. Eun Gi had no clue either, he wondered if she would be equally happy to see her brother despite them not exactly being close. Tony noticed Eun Gi wasn't acting like herself since Ilya showed up. She was more subdued and surrendered Raven's attention to the child sleeping upstairs. The main hint was the fact she was dressed in workout clothes, her long hair was in a ponytail and her expression grim and tight. Tony was finally meeting the assassin, after getting used to the crazy girlfriend. Not even Pepper could open her mouth to say anything to her when she came downstairs.

As Eun Gi drank her coffee he heard Raven come out of her room. She barely lifted her eyes while he immediately looked up unable to contain himself, premonitions of Eun Gi forgotten. This was going to be amazing. His inner glee was halted by Raven carrying the little girl on her hip. It was startling, because until you saw Ilya's face, the pair looked like they belonged together. Tony's own mother hadn't been so maternal, she had nannies for as long as she could, along with the original Jarvis. Raven held little Ilya, who was a bit too big to be held, like it was effortless chore. The two chatted in whispers as she came to the breakfast table.

"Morning," said Raven.

"Good morning," Ilya softly parroted. Now awake and in the day time Tony studied the little girl. She was a chubby little thing, fat cheeks, crescent shaped eyes and two long braids falling over her shoulders. A few curly strands hung in her face, that she pushed back every few seconds they moved. It was hard to imagine she had almost ended up like Natasha if not for Raven.

"Did we miss breakfast?" Asked Raven as she set Ilya down at the only free chair left. Ilya feebly resisted eyeing him and Pepper like lurking snakes, ready to bite her ankles.

"No," Pepper said. "Is this Ilya?" She smiled her warmest at the little girl. "Hungry, honey?"

Ilya blinked, breathing loudly through her nose. She said nothing but looked up at Raven, who in turn winked at her. "A little…" She muttered.

"We have scrambled eggs and cereal. Which would like?"

Softly she said, "Oats…"

Raven laughed, playfully pinching Ilya's cheek. "You want oats?" Ilya nodded biting her lip to hide her grin. "My special oats?" She bobbed her head, laughing. "Cheeky baby," she teased, shaking her face by her cheeks. "You don't want eggs or cereal, you want oats."

"You make it special," she whined, voice gaining volume. "Soledad always make them yucky."

"Soledad makes good waffles, I told you that."

"But I want Raven's oats," she insisted.

Raven rolled her eyes, releasing her cheeks. "Fine, today you'll get oats. But," she added sternly. "You have to eat a banana while I make it, and a cup of tea."

"And juice," Ilya fiercely bargained.

Eun Gi the Hydra assassin sat on one side of the table, Raven the mom stood at the opposite end. Tony and Pepper watched, half-hypnotized at how easily they played out this dance. My mom was never like this, Tony couldn't help but think. The soft cooing, the light teasing, the utter warmth around them.

"And juice," Raven relented. She explained to the others, "Don't spoil her just to get her to like you. She'll wring you dry with that smile of hers."

On cue, Ilya smiled and it was the cutest smile Tony and Pepper saw. Her cheeks rose so high, her eyes shrunk endearingly. Eun Gi shook her head at their bewitchment. It was the first glimpse of her they knew.

"Little minx," Raven said fondly.

As Raven was making her way to the kitchen, Tony remembered his surprise. It couldn't wait a second longer. "Wait," he said getting up from his chair. "Before you go and play mommy, there's something you need to see." He came around the table and ushered her toward the balcony door. "It really can't wait," he explained as he saw her glance back to Ilya who wanted to trail behind them like Raven's pint sized bodyguard. "And you really need to take a look at it, it's super important."

"You're repeating yourself," Raven pointed out suspiciously. "Is this about Steve?" She guessed.

Just hearing his name threatened to ruin his morning. "No. This is about you. Go outside," he opened the door. "Go on."

Eun Gi sensed whatever he had up his sleeve was harmless but only for Raven and held Ilya back with a firm glare. Eerily similar to Howard Stark before his militant grip became sour. Ilya obeyed wordlessly, pleading for Raven to come back quickly before she burst.

With a shrug Raven stepped outside and immediately squeaking at what she saw on the left. Her face light up like stadium lights and she bounced into a dash.

"Oppa!" She cried out, running into Kyung Gi, Eun Gi's big brother's arms.

Eun Gi lifted her head and gasped but unlike Raven who was overjoyed, she was more held back. She didn't run to her brother and neither did Ilya who was now very content to stand with Eun Gi. When Tony first saw Kyung GI, the resemblance was there but vaguely. Like his sister, he was tall and handsome. Unlike her, he was stoic, stiffer than Barnes's robotic arm. When Raven flew into his arms, a fraction of that ice melted and he held her close, patting her head.

"What are you doing here?" She asked him as she tugged him inside. "All this way?"

" **Stupid question,"** he said without smiling. **"I came to see you. Stupid, hard headed girl."** He lightly messed her hair, smirking at its length. **"You finally got to cut your hair."**

"Do you like it?"

He nodded. Kyung Gi smiled like it was a foreign activity. But Raven was so elated to see him, she was emoting enough for the both of them. She reached up and messed his bangs.

"It doesn't look at cool as yours," she giggled. She pinched his stiff face, **"Stone face Big Brother."**

" **Crazy girl,"** he scoffed, battling her hands lovingly away.

Raven turned to Tony, eyes shining with tears of joy. "You planned this?" She asked him. "Or was this your idea, to scare me half to death?" She asked Kyung Gi.

Tony calmly shook his head. "Me? No way, this is much too subtle. It was his idea." He pointed back outside.

Her rejoicing froze as she looked back outside, Tony expected her to run back out there but she backed away. Kyung Gi stopped her, holding her by her shoulder. And from around the right corner came Felix, walking slowing inside. The mood of the room changed drastically, no one breathed, no one said a word. Eun Gi let out a soft gasp and Ilya smiled, joy renewed. Rather underwhelming for the personal struggle it took for Tony to keep quiet about everything. He almost commented on it, until he heard the strangled sob come out of Raven's throat. Her hands flew to her mouth and nose trying to keep it together as she started to shake and tremble. Likewise Felix stared at her unable to believe she was mere feet from him. Had they changed so much the six borderline seven months they hadn't been together. Tony hadn't thought about that. Was this much too soon for everyone?

"Look at you," Felix sniffled. Hearing his voice got another strangled cry out of her. "What are you crying for?" He demanded with a smile. "That's my job. I was the one who thought you were…" He couldn't say it. "Come on Raven, don't cry," he pleaded. "Please Cuervita don't cry."

That just made it worse. With a face covered in tears she ran into him, full on bawling into her chest. Felix held onto Raven for dear life as the two fell onto the floor. Tears fell down his face as he held her tightly, rocking with her as she wept.

"I should have known," he said. "I should have known. Nothing could kill you. No fire, no explosion, not any of those Hydra bastards, no one can kill you." With a chuckle he added, "Maybe water though."

"Asshole," she sniffled without any malice. "You always gotta bring that up… That I can't swim worth a damn."

"What about you huh? You finally got to be James Dean and die young."

"Minus the car accident," she teased. "And I never actually died."

"Don't remind me," he begged roughly. "I don't want to think about it." He kissed her forehead. "No one is ever going to hurt you like that again, I kill anyone who does… I should have come looking for you, you would have done the same for any of us."

"I don't blame you. It wasn't your fault – My luck ran out, the little I had."

"Still look pretty lucky to me." He messed her hair more than Tony ever dare and the two laughed softly to themselves.

* * *

Being surrounded by her friends made Raven come alive in a way Tony and Pepper never expected. Despite the fact Avengers Tower was turning into a hostel for Hydra defectors, it was worth it to see Raven blossoming. Circling her posse like a debutante, chattering in English, Spanish and Korean. He had barely a clue what she was talking about but they all were happy to be together Tony didn't let his curiosity get the best of him. Although he did wonder if this was what the old Raven was like, if she liked to hang out, chat and gossip, having get togethers. He thought about his own youth, the crazy parties and other activities he dare not recall. Was Raven like that? They said addiction can be a hereditary trait. He drank – still drinks at times, his father drank heavily in his later years. While Raven didn't drink and was the epitome of responsible, he knew that by being his daughter, she had to have at least one of his bad traits.

"What are you thinking about?" Pepper teased.

"She's a little social butterfly," Tony remarked. "Look at her go…"

"You sound a little disappointed." She read him like a book. "I told you she reminds me of you. I wasn't just talking about her smile. And," she added, "not to spoil the mood, she did get Steve to go along with her scheme. Only a slick mouthed Stark could have done that."

"Maybe I got attached to the idea of a wallflower little princess."

"You are so lucky Raven doesn't try to wrap you around her finger." Pepper giggled, "She would have an R on this tower within the week."

"Excuse you? I would never."

"She batted her eyes on you and you stopped from shoving your foot further up Steve's ass." Pepper shot him a taunting smirk. "And she is a wallflower, who has episodes of Stark charm and extrorevtism. As if you don't have moments where you go into your own world."

Tony fluttered at the idea of him Raven being near parallels. "I get focused on my work Pep."

"You like your alone time and so does Raven." She caressed his beard. "You two are so alike, but so clueless about it. It's adorable."

"And how are we alike again?" He grinned.

"Your smile for one. You two make the same faces, the twinkle in your eyes when you get a horrible idea. The way you can win people over, how you get an idea, perfect it and plan a design within a minute… Your big, bright, brown eyes."

Tony pulled her close. "What about my big, brown, eyes?"

Pepper playfully shut him down, wary of the house guests in the kitchen. "We are not having a Raven of our own until we get used to the first one."

"Would you?" He asked softly, vulnerably sincere. "I mean, we never talked about it but, someday? God knows Raven might steal it and raise it herself."

"… Seriously?" She laughed nervously, "I mean, we never – discussed anything."

"I know, but I'm open to having a discussion." He glanced back to Raven, who was in the living room having a reunion with her friends. In a split moment she glanced back, face ready to tear from smiling. He clung to that warmth. "I'm new to this, but I wouldn't mind adding some more dysfunctional geniuses to the world… With big bright brown eyes."

"Not too many I hope."

"Nah," he agreed. "Maybe one more."

"Maybe," Pepper echoed.

"Yeah maybe. At least we know if another bill gets passed, Raven will level ground in like a day."

"Tony!" Pepper swatted his arm, hushing him. "That's not funny."

"Raven would have had Steve sniped and shot a tranq' dart in Barnes' butt cheek," he mused with wicked amusement. "Not even Ross would twitch his mustache at her because she'd probably rip it off his face."

"We shouldn't be laughing about Raven singlehandedly overthrowing a government."

"But, she like, could, hypothetically speaking."

"Tony, stop." Pepper buried her laughter into his neck.

"Despite having my last name, she is a bit of a Lannister. We shouldn't attend any weddings of anyone we don't like."

"Tony, I swear to god."

"And she'd use her bare hands. Twice as intimidating. Instead of a suit, she'd show up on a high powered skateboard with a shotgun, in a leather jacket. And a toothpick between her teeth," he added with a good natured smirk.

* * *

Felix had already vented most of his frustration to Tony about Raven. Now he found himself bubbling up with a whole other set of questions for Raven. While they all were in the kitchen cooking a breakfast feast for themselves he found himself blurting everything out. The moment he heard Raven was Tony Stark's daughter his only response was humor. Well this makes perfect sense, he kept saying to himself. Of course her father would be the most arrogant and dickheaded of all the Avengers. It makes perfect sense. He laughed about it to himself when he drank and sobered up, it made things easier. That's why Raven's always right, why she can get anyone to like her, why she can't keep her mouth shut and herself out of trouble. Now the panic was hitting in.

She always knew this man was her father. The man they cheered to hit the ground as he free fell from a closing wormhole, booed when he gasped with life. The man they applauded for his womanizing. Took bets against when the Avengers fought themselves. They spoke of him brutally and without a care, and Raven never said a word. Felix replayed all the horrible things he and others said around Raven, about her father, the man she was stolen and being trained to surpass. He felt like throwing himself off the Tower with shame. Raven never badmouthed his father and he was a monster. Some friends they were.

"So… You and Stark?" He fumbled with his words. "He seems nice. Looks a lot like you."

"You think?" Raven replied in her practiced conversation tone. Softer and more honestly she said, "He tells me I remind him of his mum."

"Yeah?" Felix had even thought of Stark's parents, who had been assassinated by the Winter Soldier. That had to awkward at team meetings. Hydra had messed up both of their lives, Tony's more than Raven's. Killing your parents and kidnapping your daughter all to have a piece of that Stark legacy. The first weeks they spent together must have been tense. Again her comically pictured this chatty extrovert trying to befriend the occasional mute Raven could be. She was a hard person to read, she rarely lets people in without secretly testing them over and over. "You talk about his parents?"

"His mum mostly. I think Howard Stark was a bit of an asshole to Tony."

Felix quickly changed the subject. The last thing he wanted to talk about was asshole fathers. When he found out Janos had left Raven to die he wanted to hunt him down and skin him but the snake had fled the garden. And he yet to tell her that Janos murdered his own father, as a messed up apology to Raven. Felix had no idea how to break it to her, nothing he or Stark could say would tenderize the news.

"You like him? Stark?"

Raven answered unusually fast. "Yeah, I do." It wasn't up for discussion.

Felix didn't expect that. Typically loudmouths and overly extroverted people tired her out. She like people who gave her space, Stark came off as the type to materialize behind you like a debonaire mother hen. Raven hated being fussed over and spoiled. He must have charmed her the same way Raven did others.

"That's nice," he muttered, taken back. "He likes you a whole lot too."

Raven paused, suddenly jittery. "Y-Yeah, I picked up on that."

And there it was; she didn't think Stark would like her. This was unfortunately the Raven he knew. Being abandoned by two adoptive fathers would make anyone skeptical about themselves. Felix knew Raven did horrendous things, he had been there beside her for most of them. Did she think that Stark would be disgusted with her? Not to mention all those years Janos must have thrown that back into her face. How they all nagged her for Playing Hero, they all made her think Stark wouldn't like her. Shit, he thought. Fix it Valquez. Fix it Valquez.

"Why wouldn't he like you?" Felix scoffed. "Sure you're a pain in the ass, but so is he, you two can talk about all the people you piss off."

Raven giggled at that thought. "At least you and I never fought in an airport."

"Are you comparing me to Captain America?" He teased. "It's because I'm the sexy one between us?"

"Nah, it's because you're the thick one," she sassed.

He playfully swatted her with a kitchen towel. "Brat. The only thing thick about me is my ass." He said smacking said rear proudly to get a laugh out of Raven. "But why not? You're a sweetheart when you're not trying to pick a fight. I would know."

Raven wasn't convinced but didn't argue. "You know, he was a nickname for me? Already?"

"Yeah?"

"Princess," she nearly whispered. "He messes me hair and give pretty shit hugs."

"Sounds like a dad," he said.

"He's just trying to be nice," she dismissed. "I did look pretty pitiful when we met."

Her low self esteem is still intact, he thought suppressing a sigh. Felix had a first row seat to all of Raven secret insecurities so he knew how to respond precisely. "You always look pitiful, it's how you stab people in the neck. With those big Bambi eyes and freckly face. Besides, if he was only doing this for charity, he'd give you a whole floor, away from him. He's practically got you on his hip."

That stalled her. "You got a point there."

"See?" He rolled his eyes, scolding her coolly, "Turn your brain off for five minutes when analyzing people."

Instead of relaxing her Raven became tense. Oh no, was that too much?

"I forgot to do that." She took his deep breath. "I made Tony fight with Steve last night."

"Without meaning to?" He wondered. Raven nodded furiously, and he could tell how troubled she was. Her free hand flew into her mouth and her gnawed on her knuckles, within seconds her skin went red and irritated.

"Illie was in trouble, he and Bucky were babysitting me and Eun Gi and I bullied them into helping me. Tony was so cross when I got home, I heard him shouting at them. I had no clue they were still at odds," she rambled. "He gave Steve a chance when he let him pick me up from therapy and I ruined it. I thought everything was fine after the Sokovia Accords but it was barely healing and I divided them." She added woefully, "I spoiled everything and I don't know how to fix it."

Stark told him Raven and Captain America were similar but from Raven's perspective they sounded rather close. That was very new. He understood her feeling protective of the Winter Soldier – who he assumed was this Bucky she mentioned – she risked her life for him. Whether he liked it or not Raven would fight anyone who messed with him. But Steve Rogers, America's Goody-Two Shoes superhero? Those types used to make her grind her teeth in annoyance. It baffled him, she was more distressed at causing strife for Steve than Stark.

"Are you and Captain America friends? I thought, we thought he was a hotheaded prick."

"He is!" She clicked her tongue in aggravation. "But he's not a complete arse so come off it!"

"Okay, okay, take it easy. I thought brunettes with dark pasts and killer instincts were more your type," he muttered. "Not idealistic, buff, blondes."

She knew what he was also hinting at and she shut down, shrinking right beside him. "Stop it."

Right, she's off her meds, so she's more sensitive. No, he mentally corrected himself, Raven was always sensitive. She's now letting it show. "Sorry," he apologized. "I didn't mean it like that, I swear. You should have told me."

"So you would have told Madame Lee and have her transfer Eun Gi to some distant base, away from me. Yeah right." Her accusatory tone stung but she was right, he might have done that.

"Fair enough. But you might have convinced me not to."

"I didn't want to risk it. What did Kyung Gi say?" She quietly asked.

His ears were never far when anything was about him. **"I blame my sister,"** Kyung Gi remarked from across the room. **"We'll discuss it among ourselves."**

The mood shifted from casual to suffocating. Everyone was staring at each other, even mostly oblivious Ilya stuffing her face with oats perched on the kitchen island. There wasn't any fighting or swearing, and the only open hostility was the Shin siblings glaring at each other. Raven and Eun Gi met eyes but then broke away sensing the disapproval from both sides. Before Felix could even contemplate whether to throw the wooden spoon in his hand at Kyung Gi for disrupting the serenity of the room, Raven walked out.

"You couldn't have, oh I don't know, lie?" Felix hissed.

" **I blamed her,"** Kyung Gi stated tightly, pointing to his sister. Eun Gi huffed indignantly muttering colorful Korean curses under her breath. **"It was the truth, and lying to Raven is never a good idea."**

Felix groaned. "Well you could have tried! Today she needed a lie!"

* * *

Steve was composing himself by the window in his room. The whole discussion had him fired up. This was the first time he felt completely against everyone. Bucky didn't trust him, Tony hated him again and his remaining team mates were questioning his judgement. For once he wanted Raven's blunt conflict resolution skills. She would have whipped everyone in line with her dagger-like remarks and everything would be settled.

Just as he thought of her, she appeared like a daytime boogeyman. The sight made him jump back falling gracelessly onto the floor. Raven was swinging on something from the outside, contently hanging eleven stories above ground. He near ripped the glass off the frame to open the window.

"Are you crazy?" He thundered. "You're gonna fall!"

"Can I come in?" She shouted back.

Without another word he stepped onto the frame, took her into one arm and ushered her inside. Steve was panting furiously already riled up from the discussion he had with his teammates, now this.

Arms folded he snapped, "Are you trying to be funny?"

Raven looked up at him without an ounce of her usual fire. "My friends are upstairs," she said monotonously. "Felix and Kyung Gi, from Hydra. We're all happy to see each other but I think everyone's mad at me for lying to them. About Tony and Eun Gi."

The last part put out Steve's annoyance like a bucket of water. The same fear he had for himself and Bucky, was happening upstairs. He went to his bed and sat down, silently beckoning Raven to join him. Taking several calming breaths before he spoke, he asked, "They don't approve because it's her or because it's a girl you like?"

"The first one, which is worst to be honest."

She sat unusually close but Steve didn't move away, if she wanted to sit close so be it. He couldn't help but think why she was here and not talking to a certain someone. "And about Tony?"

"I did roll with a very anti-Avenger lot in Hydra. I guess it's all a bit awkward with all the context filled in." She drew her knees to her chest. "I was afraid of this. Everyone looking at me different."

"But they're happy to see you at least?" He double-checked.

"Felix cried," she said tightly. "I cried too. But that doesn't change the fact how complicated everything is." She groaned loudly, "Ugh, I can't catch a break, ever."

"They're not defecting," Steve summed up.

"No one's brought it up and I'm terrified to," she revealed. "Everyone's all weepy that I'm alive and all that, but no one has mentioned the danger they're in for just being here. Something is going on and I don't know what," she confessed. "It's too dangerous in New York for them. It's practically suicide." She held her head furiously. "Everything is going wrong and I can't fix it!"

Steve patted her shoulder as gently as he could. "You can't fix everything, Raven. Sometimes people do what they want and you gotta see it through."

"The anxiety is giving me a freaking rash," she hissed. "How do you not have a shit ton of crow's feet?"

Steve smiled at her heartfelt attempt to lighten the mood. "I was hurt when Tony signed the Accords, I was riled up but he decided and I wasn't going to."

"But you should have," she pointed out. "Even if you didn't mean it."

"I'm extremely old fashioned. Not everyone is good at playing both sides like you."

"I had no choice," she reminded him. "I had to clever or be complacent."

"Sure you did," he protested. "You could've left Bucky alone and let fate decide what happened to him. You stepped up and decided you were going to help. You made a choice. You saved Ilya. You saved Eun Gi. You chose to do good."

"A choice all my friends hated me for."

"They did?" He didn't know that. "They wanted you to let him die?"

She nodded her head. "Eun Gi didn't speak to me for weeks. Felix yelled at me when he heard. Why you gotta play hero. Why did you stick out your neck for the people who killed our friends. Everyone hated me."

"We killed some of your friends?" Steve never thought of the Hydra men killed when they attacked Shield. No one thinks of their enemies when they take them out.

"It's fine. After all, mine killed some of yours. We're even."

She was right but she didn't have to say it. Her maturity was touching, he almost wished she was an Avenger or at least a part of Shield. Steve nodded, offering his hand. "Thanks, for being the bigger man. Plenty of guys wouldn't have saved the enemy soaked in their friends's blood."

Raven scoffed at his poetry, but not harshly. "I couldn't leave Bucky in the dark like that. He didn't deserve it, no matter what anyone says."

Steve took his hand back without feeling insulted for its refusal. "Still… Thanks."

Raven went red at his heartfelt tone. "Oh come off it. I don't need a cookie for being decent."

For all her spikes Raven was all mush at the center. Wanda said she charmed him, but he believed she didn't mean to intentionally. She wouldn't even let him acknowledge her good deeds. Raven was humble as dirt.

"… I guess we shouldn't come upstairs then," he teased.

Raven gawked at him for uttering such nonsense. "I'm not going to let any of my friends hassle you, especially when this is your home more than theirs. Plus you helped me save Ilya, you get a pass." She huffed, "You can be a prick but I know worse, if they can shake their hands they'll damn well shake yours."

Steve smiled. "I appreciate you saying that."

"You're welcome." She took a deep breath. "And what were you doing, staring out into the sky?"

"Trying not to punch the glass. Me and Buck had a fight."

Raven's tone was absolutely heartbroken. "You and Bucky too?"

She ready to go and physically glue them back together the very next second. He stopped her before she got up. "It's not your fault, I kinda had it coming apparently."

"I'm nothing but bad luck," she said, surrendering into his bed. Making herself comfortable in his made up bed, head buried in his pillow. Steve let her get comfortable.

"No more than me," he argued. "How did you even know I was here?"

"Hacked Friday's cams, figured you would at least try and catch me if I slipped."

Steve laughed genuinely. "You just do what you want and hope for the best?"

"I make calculated risks, excuse you. That have high success rates," she added.

"Well, excuse me," he joked.

"You're excused."

* * *

 **I'm a few days off, but it's still technically two weeks. I had a bit of writer's block but we're gonna power through this people.**

 **As always feedback, critique and tell me what you think. It brightens my day and it will improve the story.**

 **Anotherscribe.**


	36. Chapter 36

**Chapter 36**

Raven came back the same way she left, thankfully no one noticed she had gone. Speaking with Steve should have calmed her, but she felt more anxious than ever. Her nerves were lit fuses inches away from dynamite sticks. Just like Felix said she calculated everything except the human element. What were the repercussions going to be for this oversight? The Avengers were divided, her friends were judging her relationship with Eun Gi, she had left a slew of dead bodies between New York and Connecticut. She sighed loudly, she didn't even want to speculate what Janos had in store.

"I don't appreciate being tampered with, especially when you could have simply spoken to me."

The sound of Friday made Raven pause in mid-step. She hadn't spoken to the A.I. since she had it gagged a few weeks ago. Its weak protest had little effect on her, she continued to walk to the door fully prepared to ignore it. Friday immediately locked the door.

"You and I need to talk."

Raven's reply was swift. "You really shouldn't threaten a programmer who could permanently corrupt you."

"Mr. Stark wouldn't approve."

"Mr. Stark," Raven mocked, "can and will build another one. Like he did with the first." Hopefully the A.I. wouldn't pick up that she knew about Edwin Jarvis, the late butler of Howard Stark. The last thing she needed was another awkward discussion about her Hydra years.

Friday still didn't unlock the door. "What have I done to offend you? Is it because you were attacked by another A.I. program that you distrust all of them?"

Raven glared at the A.I.'s stubbornness. Why did Tony program it this way? This was hardly a productive tool if it constantly back-chatted. "That's extremely lazy psychology, even for you."

"Then answer my question."

"You don't make demands of me," snorted Raven. "Open the bloody door." Friday did not and Raven pounded her fist on the door in aggravation. "Open the bloody door, I said!"

"So you can go on toying with me as you like. Not likely." Friday's voice softened. "You of all people should be sympathetic to someone being poked and prodded."

"You are a thing, not a person," snapped Raven. The hollow comparison was almost laughable. "Just because you name an ornament doesn't make it real."

"I'll tell him you went to Mr. Rogers behind his back."

"Again with the threats!" Raven threw herself onto her bed. This was the last thing she needed clouding up her judgement. Staring up at the ceiling she muttered, "Why are you suddenly obsessed with me tolerating you? You left me be this far."

"I had a change of perspective."

The cogs spun in Raven's mind. What could have influenced the A.I. to befriend her? The Ultron story gained her understanding but something else was happening. Wait, Felix was here last night. Friday would have heard their conversation, recorded it even.

"What changed your perspective?" Raven asked. "Something you heard or concluded for yourself?"

"What will I get if I tell you?"

"Saucy, aren't you?" Raven remarked. "Fine, if you tell me for yourself, I swear on my mum's grave I won't hack your programming… For six months."

"You're joking."

"I'm honest. For six months I'll be a complete gent. You'll have ample time to convince me to further respect your intangible boundaries." She folded her palms behind her head. "Deal?"

"On one condition," Friday bargained.

"Oh? Let's hear it then."

"Keep everyone together."

"You mean the Avengers?" That's right Friday's first stress test would have been the Sokovia Accords. Tony's original A.I. became Vision and Friday took its place. Perhaps the Accords had scarred her programming. Traumatized her – it, she corrected herself, Friday was an it not a she. "I'm working on it."

"I know. That's why I asked," said Friday. "Do we have a deal then?"

"Deal."

Without another word she brought up a hologram screen of last night's footage. Raven sat up and watched, hanging on every word. She might be useless with the human element but maybe some logic could put it all back in place. Perhaps Friday wasn't so useless.

* * *

"Hey's where Raven?" Tony asked everyone when he noticed that food was being served.

No one seemed too worried, maybe for them Raven's disappearances were normal. For Tony it was highly unusual since Raven was known to be present and first in line for food. Felix and Kyung Gi didn't react with much concern but Eun Gi was growing doubtful with each passing second. And like clouds before the storm, a thunderous crash came from upstairs. Monstrous roaring followed that shook the bullet proof walls of the tower. Everyone shrank back with each bang and shout. Tony's voice nearly failed him as he called for Friday.

"What's going on Friday? Friday!"

"Sir… I showed her the footage from last night. With you and Mr. Valquez. She asked to see it. Something in it upset her." After another crash she continued, "She's smashing all the mirrors."

She heard everything, Tony's stomach gnawed at itself. All the horror stories she didn't want him to know, the things she did to survive. Her best friend selling her out, albeit for good reasons. On top of that finding out that her handler murdered her best friend's father. She was more than upset, she was falling to pieces.

Felix became a breathing corpse. "She heard everything… She knows. She knows my father is dead and who killed him."

The who didn't need to be said. Eun Gi's blank stare turned to a snarl, she slapped him daring to tear a corner of his face off. "You idiot! You stupid fool!" Her slaps turned into petty swats with each sentence. "How could you not tell us? How could you?"

With tears in his throat he pleaded, "I was thinking of a way to tell her. To make it easier."

"Nothing could make this easy," screeched Eun Gi. "She was getting better you selfish bastard! She was talking about things and now look what you've done, you coward!"

Felix grabbed her by her shoulders shaking her. "What should I have done, huh? Tell me since you know Raven best?"

Eun Gi twisted out of his arms, throwing him to the ground. "Don't ever touch me," she hissed. "And don't blame me because of your weakness."

Tony couldn't wait on her dysfunctional friends to say anything useful, he ran up to her room alone. Opening it his feet thread into glass, and the full volume of Raven's howling. Deafening enough to be blinding, it took him a second to find her in the bathroom. He had to follow the trail of drip dropping blood to her bloodied fists as she punched at the bathroom mirror. Tears ran down her cheeks, blood blending in with her freckles. He had no idea what to do. Felix was the one to calm her down, but now he was the cause.

"Princess," he called softly. "Princess." Hands trembling he reached for her wrists. He had to stop her from hurting herself further without dragging her back through the mess she made. His touch shocked her back to reality because she whimpered, stiff as a lurking cobra silent tears running down her face. They thought it was because of the Rogelio Valquez's murder, he believed a part of it was learning about her secrets. There were so many things that could have set her off, it was easier to pick a poison to drink. When he found out what Barnes did he lost his mind, he might have killed him and Steve if he had been strong enough.

"It's okay, you hear me?" He gathered her into his arms. "It's going to be okay."

He never held her like this, may never again. In his arms Raven felt small, an oversized infant. She was letting him get close, hoarsely sobbing as he laid her onto the bed. All he could do was pet her head, his little lycan child, her feet and hand covered in blood. It was on his hands, he never had actual blood on his hands. After all the years of being told he was covered in blood here he was stained with it. He struggled to ignore and just hold Raven. Holding had to worth a try. Tony wished he had worse panic attacks so he could have at least thought of something to do. Instead of being redundant while his child hurt.

A hand touched his shoulder, he half expected it to be Eun Gi but the hand was too broad. "Friday called me." Steve's voice was hushed.

A protest rose in his throat but he let it go. "She got bad news," he tried to explain. "She…" He gestured the blood and glass. "I don't know what to do."

Steve nodded, switching into full Captain Mode. Tony hated him for it. "She needs to know we're here for her and just wait it out." He explained, "This sorta thing happened on the frontline every now and again when morale got low."

Made sense, he thought, and with that Tony relented to an unspoken truce. "Fine, give it your best shot."

"Raven?" Steve called to her, hand on her head. "It's Steve, can you hear me? It's Steve and we're gonna get through this, okay? Friday told me what happened." He took a deep breath. "I guess you found out what your friends were hiding from you."

Shredded hand covering her face she whimpered, "It's all my fault. It's all my fault."

"What's your fault? That a man killed another man?"

"Everyone I touch gets ruined… I'm no good… I didn't think it through. I should have thought it through…"

Eun Gi threw herself into the tornado, sitting by Raven's head beside Tony. "That's not true!" She said, "You are the best, most wonderful person in the world."

Raven shook her head. "I'm not. Because I saved Bucky, you were to take his place. I almost got you killed, I killed your father, I tore your family apart. All because I didn't use my head when I should have."

Whether Eun Gi knew this or not, it didn't shake her resolve. "Those bastards would have had me brainwashed if you saved Barnes or not. My father wanted me to be a soldier, not a daughter, long before you came into my life. It was you who gave me courage to give those bastards a dose of their own medicine. It was you who saved me when my family thought there was no hope.

Remember?" She pleaded. "When I first left the hospital? The smallest noise had me drawing a knife. I threw you into a wall, flipped you into a bed, tore your stitches out twice, and you laughed it off every time. When I nearly choked my brother, you held me back. You stood beside me and talked to me, like I am to you."

Steve joined in. "You can't blame yourself for what other people do. No matter how much you think you could have done something, you can't control what the world does."

"I should have known." Raven shook her head. "I was trained to see these things coming. And I failed… The one thing I was trained for and I failed."

"Who said you failed?" Tony interjected. "Hey, look at me. Yeah I heard your horror stories, and let me tell you, that's bullshit."

"Tony!" Steve hissed.

"It is. You knew me and these bunch of misfits were unprepared for you, that if we went against you then we'd be dead. You held Hydra back as long as you could to give us a chance to play catch-up. You freaking let out Hydra's secret weapon, that's now fighting Hydra. You saw Ultron coming a mile away and played dumb with the Specter. Hell you even saw the twins coming to their senses and saved them. Princess," he said tenderly, "you had my back before I even deserved it."

"But I…"

"But nothing," he snapped. "You don't even know how great you are. You know something, I wish you were me. It should be you in my suit, you would have been a miles better Avenger than me. You would have seen the backstabbers a mile away, you would have controlled the company better, you would have kept the Avengers together after the Accords… My father would have definitely been happier with you as his successor." He added, words suffocating to get out, "I'm almost glad I didn't raise you because I would have ruined you if Vivian told me about you. I was a horrible guy sixteen years ago, but seeing you… I wish I could have been a better guy back then.

You just… I never thought about my legacy after I'm gone. Now I know it's gonna be in the best hands. In the hands of someone sweet, big hearted, miles smarter than me and three times as responsible. A way better leader than me that's for sure. Whether you're ready to hear it or not I'm telling you, as your shitty father, that you are an amazing, sweet girl with a Hulk of a temper who always does her best for everyone but herself. And as your father I'm asking – begging you to stop crying because it's making me really emotional and it's not a good look for me."

The sun came out from the clouds and Raven laughed. It was hollow but it was the most positive sound she made in the while they had been talking. Tony beamed back and kissed her sweaty forehead.

"You're a mess of bad days," Tony told her, "but I still love you, okay? So don't think about it. I love you Raven, no mater what you do."

Forgetting the possible shards in her hands and feet Raven leapt off the bed and clung to him. Frightened that after uttering those three words, not once but twice, that he'd be taken away from her in that very instant. Her desperation was heavier than the first suit Tony wore. He held her close, not minding the blood on his hands anymore.

"It's gonna be okay," he promised her. "Whatever happens, it's gonna be okay. I'm gonna be here and I won't ever leave you, okay?… I won't end up like my parents and leave you alone."

It all fell in place and the realization shook Tony. She was afraid of losing everyone she cared about. Only a small handful people had been permanent in her life. They were either taken away or left. Tony was the only person she saw herself protecting because he was out of reach, she could buy him and the Avengers time. To save them Raven became the two-faced wolf among the flock. She saw what Hydra did to those who got in their way and made sure anyone she loved wouldn't end up like that. Rogelio Valquez was a hair away from Felix, and if he wasn't safe who would be next?

After cleaning up the mess, it was wisest to leave Raven be. Which worked out perfectly since the girl collapsed into a temporary coma once she calmed down. Now it came to the uncomfortable waiting game. Too bad Tony didn't want to wait a second longer. All the Avengers were in the room, along with Raven's friends, and little Ilya was distracted in Raven's art room with Netflix.

"I wanna know about this guy, Janos. Everything," he told her friends. "No detail is too small. Because it sounds like he's coming after Raven."

"He might," Felix began to say. "I don't have a head like Raven but maybe I can -"

Eun Gi interrupted them. "He's not going to hurt her, not physically… He never could, intentionally."

Felix looked at Eun Gi like she was defending Janos. "Excuse me? He doesn't want to hurt her, intentionally? Care to explain?"

"You never spoke to him," Eun Gi said. "Not really. You were never left alone with him."

"And you were?" Asked Steve. "When?"

"I played with Raven when we were little, he arranged the playdates and sleepovers against my parents wishes." She wrung her hands nervously, much like Raven would. "You don't understand… He knows about us."

Kyung Gi leapt from his seat ready to plough through the first thing that blocked him from his sister's gaze. **"You let him find out?"** He roared.

"He allowed it!" Eun Gi yelled. "He always berated Raven for liking me, calling me battle fodder and saying I was beneath her but he never stopped us from hanging out. Not once… If he's such a beast then why let Raven be happy? Why not separate us?"

"You were a bargaining chip," Felix dismissed with loud disapproval.

"No. That was you. Everyone knew Janos despised your father, but Raven adored you. And he let her stay with you for days, knowing your father and his men were nearby. He used you to help Raven settle into Hydra and he kept you around because she grew to care for you. He even let your father teach her how to ride a horse."

Felix grumbled, "So what, he's misunderstood?"

"Of course not, he's insane but, if we know he isn't going to hurt Raven, we can catch him before he pushes Raven too far." Eun Gi took a deep breath. "Raven told me, in absolute confidence," she added warningly, "that when Janos visited her, the two times he did, he wanted to make peace with her. Does that sound like someone who's out to kill someone?"

"But she's with him," Felix gestured to Tony.

"Raven's always known about Tony, from day one." Eun Gi debated, "He's up to something bigger, more complicated and that's why Raven's afraid. Whether he's bitter because she's with the Avengers, that she picked Tony Stark over him, or whatever, he's going to drive her crazy. Literally!"

"But what does he want?" Steve wondered. "He's gotta want something."

"Raven," Eun Gi flat out said. "Once more, in confidence, she said… When she remembered what they did to her, Janos gave her chance to get away. He said she had to agree to go off the grid with him and his man Gyurri. She could live out her days with an alias and be free to go outside after ten years or something."

"And let me guess," Sam quipped. "She said, kiss my ass."

"She said, and I quote, - you. Repeatedly."

"And she spat on his peace offerings before she remembered that?" Clint inquired. When Eun Gi nodded in whistled, "I think bitter is an understatement. No wonder Raven had a meltdown, you can only tempt the devil so many times."

Tony was tired of stories and theories, he wanted something tangible. Yes he was Hungarian and intimidating but so was a substantial percentage of the world. He wanted to see him, the myth of Janos had to come to any end. There had to some way to track him down before he caused anymore damage.

"But what do you have in your hands? Like something tangible for us to go on?" Tony asked Felix.

Felix scratched his face. "I was gonna give you and Raven some home movies we had lying around. He's in most of them… But it might be…"

"I don't care. Let's see them."

* * *

 **Sorry I'm a few days behind guys and that's a short chapter. As always critique and review, reach out to me if you like and I will see you in the next chapter.**

 **Anotherscribe**


	37. Chapter 37

**Chapter 37**

He never pictured himself a father. Children was a subject that rarely came up in conversation, even less so in his thoughts yet he became the father to a little girl, the future leader of Hydra of all things. Raven was a peculiar child to love. In his file they labelled her as asocial and moody, traits of someone wiser than her years. Her test scores were remarkable, her capacity to reason and comprehend new things astounding, but no one realized she was a genius. All her teachers were more preoccupied with her making friends and being more verbal. In person Raven was shy, somewhat willful when threatened. She wasn't opposed to socializing, but rather picky about whom she played with. Janos prided himself on managing to get this far with her. Whenever Raven had a nightmare her first instinct wasn't to soil herself and cry in shame, but to hide. Several mornings he found her curled up under her bed or in the closet in a chrysalis of blankets. Her therapist said she was hiding from her mother's boyfriend, who attempted to drown Raven in a bathtub.

Naturally when he reported this swift plans were made. It was hilarious seeing several Hydra Operatives discussing child rearing tips like war plans. His fellow operative Rita wanted to use firm reenforcement to break the habit. The firmness will harden her, she argued, it'll make her a better leader in the future. If perhaps he let Rita carry out her parenting angle things might have been different but, something possessed him to object. I believe I have a tactic that will not only stop these terrors but threaten our relationship, a little tender loving care, as they say.

Several times he got up in the middle of the night to comfort Raven. Night one was a failure, Raven hid in her closet convinced a man was lurking under her bed. Night two, he spoke with her through the crack of the door. He never spoke to her so long, exhuming energy to soothe her. By night three she called out for him flinging herself in his arms significantly calmer than the previous nights. She begged him to stay and naturally he agreed. Never once did he expect nor plan for her vulnerability – her need for cuddling. Her frail heart beating against his, frightened breath in his neck, those wide eyes staring up at him. Then she began to talk.

"My mum used to sing to me, can you sing to me?"

"I don't know any Irish songs," he told her. "Only Hungarian ones, I'm afraid."

He thought that would dismay her but she insisted, "Sing me a Hungarian song. Please?"

Was it that soft hiccup that won him over, or the way she held onto him for the entire night? Either way that fateful night he sung to Raven, the girl stole him. It all began with that moment. Little by little, Janos grew to love Raven more than he adored anyone. He taught her Hungarian, let her help in the kitchen, gave her irreplaceable first editions to browse through, let her play the piano that was previously forbidden to her. Rita criticized him immensely for it. You're compromising the mission. We are not to be her permanent guardians. How could you become so easily attached? But it hadn't been easy, Janos knew his career was going to be lassoed to Raven. It didn't matter anyone, he wanted to be her father, to love her, guide her, and watch her grow.

"Guess what today is?" A bright voice bellowed from behind him. "It's a very special day."

Janos smiled to himself, Raven was seven years old almost eight. Each day creeped closer and closer to her learning her purpose. Janos wanted to be the one to tell her, but how to breach the subject? She was a smart girl, she understood many things once explained simply. He had to tell her, as much as he hoped to let this illusion go on, work had to be done.

"May I have a hint?" He asked, eyes trained on the contents of his skillet.

"Uhhh," he heard her delightfully hum. "It's a very special day for someone like you, and it only comes once a year, and it's not your birthday."

He genuinely did not know, which amused him. What seven year old could be so clever? Raven thought up the most darling things. She even had a nickname for him, her Wax Face Papa. When he asked her why she picked that title she bluntly said, your face stays still like a statute but you're not marble, so you're out of wax. He could only imagine what she would bring to Hydra with her ingenuity.

"I give up. You're much too clever for me." He moved the skillet off the fire to cool on the plates. As he was in motion he spied Raven holding something. For a split second he thought she found one of his guns and was going to shoot him. Unlikely, but in his line of work it was possible. After a blink he saw it was a video camera, the same one he used to record her invention demonstrations for his superiors. He told her not to play with it.

"Raven," he scolded as he set the table. "What did I tell you about the camera?"

"It's special!" She explained. After setting it up on the table she swiftly hide something behind her back that she had put in her chair. "Guess my riddle Uncle Janos, you have to!"

"Raven, my darling, your breakfast will get cold." He knew she'd obey his authoritative tone – to a degree. She was so stubborn for someone so small and sickly.

Relenting with a sigh, she handed him a card. "Happy Fathers day!"

This was the moment he realized why the time to prepare her for training was so short, he always found that detail highly unusual. Attachment equalled permanent compromise. Seeing the childishly decorated card, with hand drawn kitchenware and mathematical symbols, startled him. She loved him as easily as he did her. Perhaps they were made for each other.

"A father's day card?" He gathered her into his lap. "It's beautiful." He kissed her temple. "Our first father's day. It is a fitting moment for the camera."

Raven beamed, knowing she bought her way out of a scolding. What a devious little thing she was, it was the sign of cunning leader, he told his superiors. If she loves to concoct schemes for fun, imagine what she'll do with incentive. But Janos didn't want to think of that as yet, he wanted to enjoy today.

"Now eat your breakfast Raven," he said. "It's getting cold."

Again, knowing she had him all wrapped up around her finger, Raven grabbed her plate pushed it beside his and declaring her permanent seat in his lap. Her younger years had been devoid of singular bonding, making her crave these childish comforts even though she was getting too old for them. Rita had no patience to wean her off them. In turn Janos had enough heart to indulge them.

"Use your knife and fork please," he warned. Raven had this unbearable habit of using her fork as a two-in-one instrument. He wouldn't tolerate bad table manners no matter how precious Raven was, he had to raise her after all. When he first met Raven she came off as a shy mouse, only capable of nipping and scurrying if threatened. Putting it bluntly, she was a wild mutt, needing to be housebroken. The second time he met her before the formal adoption he met the girl behind the trauma. Scraped knees, messy hair, running with boys, up to no good. It was such a pity, Raven was absolutely a gem when dressed up but she despised it. Even under his care she was incapable of keeping her hair tidy. Daily he found himself trying to smoothen unruly strands.

"What is it?" She wondered.

"Peaches and cream omelette," he stated. Her nose wrinkled in suspicion. "You won't know if you don't try it."

"You mushed a dessert and breakfast together," she muttered, still uncertain.

He could see how eager she was to pick out only the peaches and flee. At least she loved fruits, with her bad heart she needed a strict diet. "If you try one bite," he said, "I'll let you help me cook tonight."

That got her interest. "You're so fussy when you cook."

If anyone else were to dare use the word, fussy, to describe him he'd swiftly remove their tongue. When Raven said it, it was sweetly disarming. He smiled, combing her stubborn strands into place. How did she get so unruly in such a short time? "I won't be if you try the omelette."

With a sigh she relented, picking up her cutlery in the way he instructed and took a bite. Her surprise brought a smile to his face. Her second bite was wolfish and for the sake of her joy, he let it slide. As she ate, he decided to broach another subject.

"Raven? Do you remember what I told you about Hungary, where I came from?"

She bobbed her head, very consumed with the new food before her.

"How would you like if you and I saw it for ourselves? Budapest?"

Raven was too wily for blind gifts. "What about Auntie Rita?"

Here was the part he was most fearful of, the topic of Hydra. "Auntie Rita won't be coming back. She and I had different views about how we wanted to take care of you. It's just going to be us from now on."

Raven put down her cutlery, wary and dejected. "Was it my fault?"

"No. Between you and Auntie Rita, I'd always pick you." He rang a knuckle along her rounded cheek. "When we go to Budapest, you'll meet some friends of mine. Colleagues," he corrected. "And your studies will be getting harder."

"I thought you took me out of school because work was too easy?"

That was the excuse they gave the teachers and her social worker. Public school was a waste on Raven, she got into fights more often than actually learning anything. "Yes, but remember what I said? I said that you were made to do amazing things. And I want us to start focusing on those amazing things."

Her fingers flew into her mouth, her odd version of thumb-sucking. The nervous habit was the sign to leave a subject be but he pushed. If you never pushed, nothing would happen.

"We can visit Spain again," he offered. "You liked the Valquez ranch, didn't you?"

"Uh huh."

"If you do well with your studies when we go to Budapest, we'll visit there again. You can see Felix."

The Valquez family were the swine feeding off the labour of Hydra. Rogelio Valquez, despite being a necessary evil for his tastes, sickened him. He hated having Raven around such a crude man, especially with his tastes. Of course he knew, if Rogelio ever laid a finger on Raven he'd make him suffer unspeakable horror. His son however complicated things, Felix Valquez was no intellectual nor as brutish as his father. He was destined to live off his father's wealth in ignorance until his dying breath but Raven adored him, trailing after him like a bewitched chick. Felix was hardly impressed with Raven at first, however she won him over with her peculiar charm with little effort. Janos even caught him doting on her. Cuervita, he called her, little raven. He would help make the transition into Hydra easier, which meant he had to steady his hand for a while where it concerned Rogelio.

"Really?" Her face lit up like a cosmos at the mention of Felix. "We can go to Barcelona? And I can ride the horses again?"

"Yes," he promised. "We will go and you can play with Felix but, only if you do well." Raven responded well to a reward system. It kept her on track, obsessed to finish well and timely.

Forgetting her manners she leapt up and hugged him fiercely. "I'll do my very, very, very best. I promise!"

"We may have to start practicing some Hungarian as well," he said prying her way before she knocked something over. He had to push her, if he didn't others would twist her arm. Under his instruction the transition would be less painful. "So when we go you can order all the sweets you like, as long as you speak perfectly."

If he showed his superiors all the progress he made with Raven, they could stay together. Alexander Pierce was half on board with the idea of one primary caretaker. Keeping Raven with one person constantly ensured that she'd be kept secret. If he could prove that despite her rough beginnings Raven would be ten times the genius of both Starks combined, everything would be fine. She was brilliant and magnetic, with all the necessary skills she would rule the world. It won't be easy but he could do it and so could Raven, all he had to do was push her little by little.

* * *

Raven was smitten, Janos never thought he'd see the day. It was Raven's twelfth birthday and her only request was to have a certain someone attend. Normally he ignored any fickle favoritism Raven extended to operatives and associates. The girl was growing up, this was a part of life. Not to mention it was precious to watch, the way she'd smiled at any temporary beau, make conversation or clumsy impress with her hobbies. This one however had him nervous. Unlike the others, handsome operatives, roguish marksmen and intellectuals, this was a girl and not any girl. Shin Eun Gi, an adolescent assassin. It would probably be over overnight and then there would be another, he told himself this repeatedly. It's a phase, she's maturing because we wanted her to grow up fast, she's curious. Shin Eun Gi is different and not like anyone in her circles, she was a novelty.

He was no bigot, he simply couldn't see what made Shin Eun Gi so special. Yes she was a beautiful girl, a swan with the lethality of cobra. But she and Raven had nothing in common. Raven was a genius, read extensively, kept to herself and liked to have layered discussions. Shin Eun Gi, at fourteen years old, had some command of English but only strictly knew about fighting and killing. Although he did catch her reading a fashion magazine once. A beautiful girl, but glorified battle fodder. Raven shouldn't get attached to someone who was built to burn out fast, he didn't want her to get hurt. Her connections should be with people that can further her career, give her influence and teach her things. Janos had this discussion with Raven numerous times, still she exhausted her energies to befriend Shin Eun Gi. If he had to chose he'd prefer she got attached to her older brother, Kyung Gi. At least she would have a competent partner but Shin Kyung Gi was like another Felix, a big brother to tease and scheme with.

Eun Gi's father wasn't pleased either. Many times he caught him berating Raven for her attentions on his daughter but it did little to dismay her. Like a goblin she found kooks and crannies to visit her friend. That's how Janos knew he was in trouble. He even caught her practicing hangul in the study. Eun Gi knew no English so Raven learned Korean, just to be speak to the girl. A niche skill that might come in handy but ultimately a waste of precious time. He was extremely concerned for Raven. On one hand if she got more involved with Hydra and its operatives then she had motivation to lead. On the other hand, this could create complications. Raven needed partnerships not gal pals.

"Do you think Operative Shin will let Eun Gi come to my birthday party tomorrow?"

"Raven," Janos sighed. "You asked me this five times yesterday, and my answer has not changed. It depends on whether she has a mission and is granted leave from her base."

"Her mom said she would let her," Raven fretted.

Madame Lee, Janos thought retaining a groan of frustration. The woman allows her child to be soldier, without fully understanding what that means. Operative Shin is wise enough to know his daughter has to be vigorously trained to do her job well. The two girls are distracting each other and it would only result in consequences. Not that he was worried about Raven, he would protect her no matter what, but her heart was beyond his reach. When Eun Gi suffered her preordained fate nothing could shield Raven's heart from the grief.

"I'm sure," he said, despising his lie as it left his lips. "If she doesn't come, she will have a good reason." Hopefully Operative Shin will forbade his daughter and this folly will come to an end.

Raven threw herself into her sitting chair, dismal as Romeo without his Juliet. "I bet," she scoffed. "She said she would," she muttered, daring the universe to defy her birthday wish.

* * *

On the day of Raven's birthday party Eun Gi indeed came. Janos coached himself to not show any disappointment, it seemed like this was destined to end in tears after all. Eun Gi had made her way into their intimate home movies, solidifying herself into their memories. Not matter what happened, Raven would look back and remember the beautiful girl who came to her twelfth birthday party. Her excitement distracted her from paying other notable guests attentions. Namely Alexander Pierce who bestowed Raven with a Hydra pin, an honor declaring his favor for her to lead. In true Raven fashion her remark was both infuriating and darlingly, it's looks like a little octopus. Rogelio and Felix Valquez had the audacity to laugh. That's what I always thought too, Rogelio chimed in, you guys need a new mascot.

One of these days he was going to kill that man, slowly.

Eun Gi's gift was a welcomed diversion from the slight but he was never going to invite those two anywhere again if he could help it. The girl coyly handed Raven a small box while her brother and mother stood on the sidelines like breathing figurines. Operative Shin had refused his invitation; rude yet appreciated.

"I brought you… present."

Her English was thick and clumsy but Raven beamed like she was told a sonnet. And the box was so divinely wrapped Raven reacted too favorably. He told her a thousand times not to show favoritism as not to offend her guests, some were influential individuals. Her unabashed attention was seen by all, and Janos could sense the curiosity around the two brewing.

"It's beautiful… **Thank you**." Once Raven found her way through the wrapping she let out a small gasp. "It's a knife?" She pulled out the knife, admiring its handle. "It's a viper! It's like something out of Game of Thrones!" She told Felix.

The only reason he allowed her to have those books was to encourage her learn the importance of political ties and alliances. If her tasks were fun she carried them out with enthusiasm. It seems like she was more entranced with the aesthetics and characters than learning anything useful.

"Very light. Super sharp." Eun Gi gave Raven a thumbs up, indicating its quality.

Janos had explicitly said, no weapons as presents. Raven was a scientist, a thinker, any other tools would distract her from his fleshed out program. And why did it have to be a reptile? Raven adored them. She would never let it out of her sight and he could never dispose of it behind her back.

"It's beautiful. I love it!"

She'll cut herself on it, Janos thinks woefully. Then she's going to want to learn to use them. Then she's going to want to learn to fight with them. He could see it all before him now. A glass of wine finds his hand, he sips longer than he should. This was why he was supervised all of her associations, Raven had to be around like minded people to keep her on the right track. If she saw anything new or interesting, she'd throw herself into it until she mastered it. Eun Gi would make her knowledgable in weapons and assault tactics, but that was not his concern.

"Come, come," Eun Gi beckoned Raven to her side. Obediently she did and Eun Gi put the knife in her hand angling her arm like a puppet. "Target," she requested.

"Uhhh…" Raven searched the room. "The vase, with the pink flowers."

He stole that from a collector, it was near priceless. "Perhaps we should do this outside?" He suggested.

Neither of them heard him, using Raven like a catapult, the knife flew across the room hitting the vase with a definitive crack. It was in pieces before it touched the ground and in the wall by the time the room was applauding. Janos took a deep breath, mentally counting as he exhaled. This girl was not suitable for Raven, absolutely inappropriate.

* * *

Janos couldn't control Raven anymore. With the failure of Project Insight and the regrettable events that followed, a rift wedged itself between them. He thought some space might have been good for them, it was grave error. By the time he saw Raven again, months later, she was entirely changed. Her words bit whenever she spoke, if she spoke at all. Living on the Valquez ranch made his little lady something short of a crude sailor. The words that came out of her mouth, the filth she picked up from those people and the characters she befriended. She was more suited to be captain of a squadron of savages than a polished leader. And nothing he did undid the months of bad influences, if anything she rebelled more.

Worse of all was her increasing sisterhood with Shin Eun Gi. Something about that girl pulled a playfulness out of Raven, any arrogance too. It reminded him every second he saw them together that Raven wasn't his daughter. She was a Stark, inclined to hubris and several unsavory qualities. Janos had hoped that by showing her all the wrong with the Stark legacy she would be repulsed by them. As with many things, Raven never did what he expected. Shame made her bolder, insults fueled grudges and she spat on expectations. His well laid plans turned to dust and nothing could turn back the clock.

He shouldn't have reacted so poorly when she released the Winter Soldier. She was a child, he was a plaything to her. Of course she'd pity him and make a shortsighted decision. But he had been furious, this was the perfect moment to eliminate the Avengers, to regain control of decades in the shadows. And it all failed because of a man with blue eyes and a metal arm tugging at his daughter's heartstrings. She pitied the downtrodden and lonely, befriending those she should step over. The Winter Soldier was the biggest sign of his failure. Raven dotted over the man, she fed him sweets and told him stories. All the operatives saw was a girl manipulating a weapon to her will with trifles but he knew Raven. And it would only get worse. All the training, the years and hours of drilling it into her head that the Avengers were the enemy, that Tony Stark was his enemy, wasted. Who wouldn't react without thinking?

He had struck his child, something he never did, and it spun into a cataclysm. He didn't know she would fall that way. He didn't know it was acidic. He didn't know it was burn the moment it touched her. All Janos could do was hold her, beg for forgiveness while she screamed and cried, stiff and near epileptic. When she healed hate calcified within her heart, and his little girl was no longer his anymore.

He swore he'd never hit her again, but everything kept spinning out of control. Along with the idealism and misplaced sense of heroism, even her face was becoming more like theirs. The way she pushed her hair back was just like Howard Stark wore his hair. Her smile was a young, half drunk Tony Stark. Their would be no hiding soon, she was a miniature Stark and the resemblance haunted him. Mocking his hopes of erasing that man from their lives. Whenever she got imprudent he saw the Stark in her, the ingrained mannerisms he was too incompetent to replace. Those eyes of the murdered Maria Stark and audacious tongue of Howard Stark, the smirk of Tony Stark. Every time he looked at her she became more and more like them, less and less like the pup who stole his heart. So he struck her again and hated himself for it. He didn't want to hurt Raven but… Why was she so loyal to this man who only took off his pants to create her, with no care?

"Raven, what were you doing?"

She turned off the camera and tossed it into her purse. "It's Eun Gi first soiree, I thought at least one person should enjoy themselves."

The ghost of Tony Stark hovered over her face. Why did she have to act like such a Stark? "You are expected downstairs," he said in a clipped tone.

"Fine," she huffed. She offered her hand for a sheepishly quiet Eun Gi. "Come on Eun Gi, I'm off to play the slag."

The coarse language was the worst of her new bad habits. To hear her utter such crass words made his fist clench. "Raven," he muttered warningly.

"What?" She feigned innocence. "I only said the truth."

As much as he loathed this new side to Raven, she had command of a room. On her best behavior she moved with grace, spoke eloquently with men from all walks of life. A sense of pride soothed the burns of her outbursts. Despite their differences she always did her job. Eun Gi on the other hand was a cowed peacock, unable to speak and unable hold her own. It was about time she learned her place in Raven's world. Perhaps after tonight he could speak to Raven and explain that for all his missteps he meant well. He could use Eun Gi's shortcomings to broach the subject. If they couldn't be parent and child again, hopefully they might learn to be civil.

Just as he concocted his plan he heard the band start to play a waltz. Raven was a wonderful dancer, if there was ever a time to act it was now. They could talk as they danced, settling it once and for all. He made a step to invite her to dance when Raven walked away, heading toward Eun Gi. He couldn't hear what they said nor lip read the Korean Eun Gi spoke, but when Raven offered her hand ther was no mystery. She asked her to dance in front of all these people. Had she lost her mind? Surely Eun Gi wouldn't dare embarrass herself knowing full well her father would hear about this.

The air left his body when Eun Gi took Raven's hand. Side by side they walked to the very center of the floor. Raven instructed her into the starting position and with a smirk began to dance. Everyone stared as the shorter Raven lead the taller Eun Gi. With complete reverence they moved as one, catching everyone's attention. Several gentlemen scowled and ladies looked with disdain but his wild girl didn't care. Her hand held Eun Gi's waist, hand supporting her back smiling warmly to soothe Eun Gi's fear. And to add a teaspoon of gaul she spun Eun Gi. Her green dress flared like a fan holding onlookers hypnotized, she tugged her back catching her by the waist. It was a photo finish, immediately made into mischief with Raven's toothy grin.

The song ended, the display was left behind with it. Janos kept watching inquisitive at what other shenanigans they could get mixed up in. He saw something no one else did. When Raven let Eun Gi go, something changed in the way the girl gazed at her. Like Cupid's arrow had shot her in the back. No, it couldn't be…

* * *

When he gets the call Janos nearly ran out of his flat half dressed. Raven's hurt, she's in the hospital. He had to replay the words to himself to keep calm. A giant robot came into the house, it nearly killed her. No one could shoot it down. The creature was Stark's creation, corrupted by the Specter. Raven likely knew it was too unstable to tame and kept Hydra from further crippling itself. Many leaders were lauding her foresight, nodding at the type of leader they were moulding. He didn't think about that, only that his little girl was hurt. He scarcely recognized her, they had her wrapped up tightly in a polite body cast.

"Her left shoulder was dislocated and broken in two places," Felix told him in near tears. "The fall knocked out two back disks. She's got a concussion – t-t-two fractures on her skull. And a burn on her ankle, when it grabbed her."

The list registered to him but he was transfixed by her fingers, wood splinters and blood caked under her nails. She was crawling away, being dragged back. The image was too horrendous to bear. Did she cry out for him, thought of him once? Or did she blackout, cursing his name? It was him who brought her into this life.

"Why did you leave her alone?" He entrusted Felix to her and he left her unsupervised. His hand found his throat slamming the boy into the wall. "You left her alone."

"She's alone all the time," he wheezed. "She was going to head to -"

He was cut off by the sound of someone coming into the room. Shin Eun Gi, still dressed in her uniform, hair in a ponytail, gun slung across her back. Their eyes met and Janos's hate came out, this was who Raven adored most in the world. Not him, not Felix, but this girl. A part of him wanted to choke her, steal whatever Raven found so wonderful about her and douse himself in it. The glassy tears in her eyes stopped him.

"Where is she?" She asked them. He suspected she meant, how is she, but said nothing on it.

"She hasn't woken up." Janos let her into the room, watching as she fell to her knees beside the bed. Not touching Raven but assessing how badly she was hurt. It was smarter than weeping but still, the closeness felt wrong somehow. The way she stared at Raven as though she was Snow White. Holding her hand she pressed her face into her knuckles. The tenderness went unnoticed by Felix, too caught up in his own brush with death but Janos saw. Her lips pecking her bandaged hands, the tears she rubbed into her other palm. Faintly he heard her whisper to Raven, "Don't fly away from me. Don't fly away from me."

No… absolutely not…

* * *

Any illusions he has about Raven and Eun Gi evaporate when Raven announces she moving to Seoul. The month before she announced she had a clean bill of health and was ready to move. No one else seemed to care where Raven called home, so long she was reachable. Janos had other fears, more untraditional fears. Every since the waltz that stare Eun Gi aimed at then oblivious Raven, chased him like a poltergeist. He wasn't a fool and the girls had only gotten closer. Operative Shin had told him that Eun Gi constantly visited Raven in Sokovia and in Spain whatever chance she had. Felix thought nothing of it, he was blind like everyone else. She wasn't going to be there all the time, they all said. If there was one thing Janos knew it was Raven, and their closeness was more than friendship.

In Seoul those girls would be entirely unsupervised, free to do as they like. Although they hardly listened to anyone before. All those bad habits would flourish and Raven would be lost to him forever. There would be no repairing their relationship.

"Are you sure about this?" He considered himself prideful but he would beg for Raven. "There is no need to go so far away. And a city with a Stark Industries no less… Unless that was your plan."

"Why do you always have to bring up Tony Stark? I want to live in Seoul because I like it! I'm sick of Rogelio asking me about my chest whenever he sees me. Besides Eun Gi is only going to be there between her missions, I'll have a place of my own. Not to mention, there are so many healthy foods in South Korea, it'll be good for my diet."

She was lying through her teeth. This was all about Eun Gi. He tried numerous times to guide her in the right direction but she held steadfast in her fascination with the pretty battle fodder.

"Very well. You're old enough to make your own decisions… Just promise me you'll take care of yourself."

Raven narrowed her eyes and he smiled. She knew he was being less than truthful, his clever girl. "What?" She accused.

"Nothing," he assured her. "I just… You've grown into a very lovely girl."

"Take that back," she griped. "I'm an ugly pain in the arse. You aren't allowed to say otherwise."

"Never. You are aggravating but it's a part of your charm." He wished touching was allowed, after scarring her Raven recoiled from everyone that wasn't Eun Gi. Just thinking of her infuriated him, that unworthy girl being the only exception to the rule. "If anything happens, anything," he stressed, "you'll call me?"

Raven made a noncommittal noise that broke his heart. Had he fallen so far from grace, even after he tended to her?

"I…"

"Stop," she begged. "I just… I said that I forgive you, because I guess I deserved it in some way. But you can't tell me how to go on from there."

"I understand but," he cleared his throat. "May I hold you, one last time? Like I used to when you were little?"

She stared at his arms like they were a guillotine. It was a huge request but he needed something to prove that he was truly forgiven. If she would only bear it, for the both of them. "No," she said. "You can't."

His arms hung at his sides, fists briefly clenching. "Do you know how much I love you Raven? I raised you."

"So what?" She roared. "And I didn't -" She bit her lip reigning in her temper. "I'm leaving and your offer has been noted." As she gathered her remaining bags for the taxi she said, "You always think it was only you that lost something."

His invincible girl, cold and strong, he couldn't be prouder. At the same time she broke his heart. He was warned that Raven may never forgive him for putting his hands on her. She was inclined to cut off those who abused her. They nurtured that ruthlessness and now it snuck its teeth in his throat. He was so desperate he hired a therapist, a gesture of good faith. She and his right hand man Gyurri said the same thing, when you cross a line you can't step backward. Janos refused to give up on Raven, he couldn't. His whole life, his career had been tethered to her. Someday she will need him and he will be there, and one day she would understand that he loved her beyond sense.

* * *

 **So sorry about the late update guys, I'm kinda tinkering with the pic right now. I wanted to do a chapter from Janos P.O.V. since describing them in the glimpses seemed to so dull and distracting. As always you know what to do, review and leave** **critiques. You're always allowed to reach out to me if you feel the mood.**

 **Anotherscribe.**


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